


Flutters of Whispers

by rexadozonelayer



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Biotic Shepard, Developing Relationship, Emotions, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Language, Love, M/M, Mass Effect 3, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Sex, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-07-16 17:04:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 93,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7276495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexadozonelayer/pseuds/rexadozonelayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reapers have invaded and are destroying the galaxy one planet at a time.  Commander Damien Shepard is tired.  It feels as if he’s fighting a losing battle.  A battle that is rushing him forward unheeded into death’s grip once again, with no end in sight.  Or so it seems.  After the exhaustion of curing the genophage and the numbness of fighting old enemies from the Citadel coup, Damien is ready to just let the inevitable happen when suddenly something stirs the air and sharpens his focus.  Not understanding at first that this new obsession of his has heightened his awareness and made him more alert to every minute in his struggle of trying to live through the end of the war, he begins to have a flutter of hope.  The hope starts to whisper in his ear of a love so great that it makes him grasp a hold of the lifeline with both hands and never let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Docking Bay D24

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Bioware owns all. I’m just adlibbing a bit. Comments are always welcome. 
> 
> This story has been brewing for some time and I finally allowed it to come forth. Please be kind, this is my first attempt at writing an M/M romance. I want to give it enough depth to be a real story not just fluff. I greatly appreciate the effort Bioware put into their Mass Effect characters and the romance of MShepard/Kaidan Alenko needed to be written carefully. Please let me know what you think. 
> 
> My Shepard: Name: Damien Shepard. Red hair. Green eyes. Spacer, Hero, Vanguard (because they are truly crazy awesome), Paragade. 
> 
> Note: This story will mostly be OC in between the main plot of the game. This story begins after the Citadel coup and the scene where Kaidan and Shepard hold a gun on each other in the misunderstanding wake of Councilor Udina’s treachery. Knowing that Kaidan needs to be the one to take care of Udina, Shepard backs off, watching Kaidan’s six, if needed. The story begins when Shepard runs into Kaidan in the docking bay of the Normandy, after Kaidan takes care of things.

“What just happened, Shepard?”

“You sound angry.”

“No! I just never thought I would be in an armed standoff with someone I lo…uh…care about.” Kaidan looks away and stares out at the view of the Normandy docked in her bay.

What? Shepard thought to himself. Kaidan loves him? Even though Kaidan tried to correct himself, Shepard did catch the faux pas that he tried to brush off. I’ll think about that later. “Okay, out with it. What is troubling you?” 

“If I didn’t back down first, I feel like you would have taken me out.”

“Never. I trusted you, Kaidan; I knew you would have come around. That’s all that matters. The thing is, we stopped the coup and Cerberus is off the Citadel.”

“Really? You still trust me after the way I’ve treated you? I don’t deserve your friendship, Damien. I haven’t been a very good friend to you in return.”

Shepard heart beats a little faster when Kaidan uses his first name. He’s never done that before. He’s always either called him Commander or Shepard, but never Damien. A sudden rush of warmth flows straight to his core. What? Where did that come from? Focus on what Kaidan just said. Something about friendship…No, don’t focus on Kaidan’s lips or cute chin dimple or the way his uniform outlines his ass as he paces…FOCUS, Damien, he mentally shakes his head to clear the sudden aura of arousal for the man in front of him. Man? When did that happen? He’s never been attracted to a ‘man’ before. Well…that isn’t quite true. There has only ever been one man that he’s ever thought of that way about before, and he’s standing in front of him. Ugh, can’t think about that right now. Eh… “What?” Damien says when he blinks suddenly at Kaidan when the older man looks at him worryingly with a question on his face. “What did you say?”

Was Damien blushing? Kaidan looks at his longtime friend, uh wait, acquaintance? No. Friend. He hopes so anyway. Damn! After holding a gun on him today, geez, he would just be happy to know him and say that he served with him once. Kaidan looks down and starts shuffling his feet. To be honest, he has always wanted more than friendship with Damien. He’s had a crush on him since they met on the SR1.

Kaidan looks up suddenly into beautiful green eyes when Damien steps forward and lays his hand on his shoulder to get his attention, squeezing it briefly before dropping his arm. “Hey, that’s over now, remember? We agreed to bury what happened on Mars and Horizon. You’re one of my friends, Kaidan. There have been ups and downs, sure, but I’ve always called you a friend, even a ‘good’ friend. Someone I feel honored to know.” 

Kaidan looks at him and grins sadly, and then suddenly straightens. He says, “The honor is mine, Commander. I’m happy to call you friend,” and holds out his hand.

Damien shakes it and asks after holding Kaidan’s hand a moment longer than normal before dropping it, suddenly missing the warmth, “What was this really about, Kaidan?”

Kaidan starts pacing in front of him again and pauses to say, “Sometimes the way a thing goes down, does matter. Later when you have to live with yourself, knowing that you acted with integrity. It matters!” 

Damien straightens from his stance and says, “You mean Udina. Do you think he was going to come in quietly? Kaidan, you had to take the shot. You acted with integrity. I saw the whole thing.”

Kaidan stops pacing and looks directly at him and sighs, smiling briefly and nodding his head, “Alright. Thanks. Look, Shepard, there’s another reason I’m here. Hackett offered me a position, but I would turn it down in a second if there was a chance that I could join you on the Normandy again.” 

Damien smiles at him and he’s suddenly a little breathless, “I couldn’t imagine meeting the Reapers without you.” 

Kaidan smiles in return, “Thank you, Commander!” and shakes his hand again before continuing, “And, Shepard, I need you to know that I will never doubt you again. I’ve got your back.” 

“Good to know. Welcome aboard, Major.” 

Kaidan comes to attention and salutes waiting for him to salute back before dropping his hand in recognition that even though he outranks Shepard, he recognizes that Damien is in command of the Normandy. “Aye-aye, Sir.”

Kaidan turns around and walks over to the duffel tucked away in the corner of the docking tube and without any hesitation like they had a will of their own, Damien’s eyes dip down to admire the contours of Kaidan’s ass as he bends down and unconsciously licks his lips. He quickly averts his eyes, when Kaidan straightens and pauses to ask him if he would like to accompany him onto the Normandy. Trying not to blush and suddenly really glad for the darkened interior of the docking tube, Damien nods and follows him into the decontamination chamber. 

As they awkwardly stand next to each other waiting for the chamber to cycle, Kaidan covertly checks out Damien as he stares silently at the closed airlock door. Damien looks really good. He seems to have put on some muscle since the last time they were in the same room together. Kaidan wasn’t really in the same mind during the few hospital visits that they had prior to his discharge, so he can’t say for sure if Damien looked this good, previously. Taking a breath to try to clear his head of lustful thoughts of his Commander, he almost chokes when he inhales the scent of Damien’s aftershave. Oh holy hell, he reshuffles his duffle bag to the side of him to hide his sudden arousal that the scent has done to him. The scent the Commander is wearing is slowly driving him crazy. It reminds him of the salty sea air of home and suddenly Kaidan feels extremely hot and bothered. Trying to clamp down on his tight control of his biotics so as not to suddenly glow blue, he clears his throat gaining the notice of Damien. Before giving himself away, he tries to think of something to say and blurts, “So, anything I need to know about the crew? You know, that I wouldn’t have learned from the reports?” Smooth, Kaidan, really smooth, and internally flinches. 

Before Damien can answer an electronic voice comes over the intercom, “Welcome back, Shepard. You have several messages, nothing needing immediate attention. Welcome aboard, Major Alenko. Do you need assistance?”

Damien flinches. Oh, fuck! EDI! Noting Kaidan’s questioning glance, he hurriedly says, “No thank you EDI. Please stay put until I update Kaidan on the current status of the crew. Thanks.”

“Logging you out,” EDI says. 

“EDI? You named your VI?” Kaidan asks as they walk out of decon and instead of turning towards the bridge, they immediately turn towards the CIC and the elevator. “Aren’t we going to…,” Kaidan points back toward the bridge and the likelihood that Joker was in attendance since he never takes advantage of shore leave. Although, honestly, waiting for the inevitable crass comments from Joker about the conduct he has displayed towards Shepard recently, could definitely wait. 

“Later. Let’s drop your gear off, first. I’d like to give you a tour of the ship. You weren’t here long enough last time to properly explore before our sojourn to Mars.”

“True.”

As they pass Samantha, Damien pauses to introduce her. “Specialist Samantha Traynor, this is Spectre Kaidan Alenko. Even though he also holds the rank of Major, he will be representing the council while serving on the Normandy. Kaidan, this is Specialist Traynor, our comms officer. She’s new to the field arena, however, she has excelled since leaving Earth and I’m privileged to work with her.”

“Thank you, Commander,” Samantha beams in a crisp British accent; she comes to attention and salutes Kaidan. “It’s an honor to meet you Spectre, uh, Major Alenko, Sir!”

Kaidan salutes her and laughs. “Just address me as Major Alenko while on duty, specialist. Off duty, Kaidan is fine.” 

“Yes sir.” Samantha says flustered a bit. 

Damien laughs, “Traynor, please contact Cortez and order the basics for setting up the Starboard Observation lounge as quarters for the Major for the immediate future. We are short on space at the moment for higher ranking personnel, so whatever you can order from the Citadel prior to our departure would be greatly appreciated. Also, unless anything comes up that’s a priority; I’ll be showing the Major the ropes for the next hour.”

“Yes sir.”

“Carry on.” Damien says and walks over to the elevator with Kaidan. 

Kaidan looks at Damien and says quietly, “Comm specialist Traynor seems so young. I guess we are old soldiers, huh, Commander.”

Damien chuckles and joins Kaidan in the elevator pushing the button for the crew deck. “Yeah, I guess. Sam is older than she looks. She has a lot of potential and has become a good friend. I’m glad that she decided to stay on as my assistant. She’s a good addition to the crew.”

Kaidan glances quickly at Damien to see that he is genuinely speaking about the specialist like a protégé and nothing else. Sighing internally, he only nods at him. Good. No competition from the specialist, at least. They arrive on the crew deck and step out into a hallway. He pauses when he sees a memorial wall of sorts. He runs his eyes over the names recognizing almost all of them. His heart seizes a little when his eyes pause on Ashley’s name. 

Damien pauses next to him. “This was Admiral Anderson’s idea. During the retrofits on Earth, this was constructed to honor those who lost their lives serving the cause, to include those from the SR1.” After running his eyes over all the names, also pausing on Ashley’s name, he says quietly, “I’ve added a few names myself to it, for those that have died since leaving Earth.” Then he brushes a hand on an empty slot, “Actually, I’ll be adding another name this evening…” and turns to the left to walk toward a room that opens to reveal a large observation window that looks out currently at the docking bay.

Kaidan follows him and looks around what he guesses is to be his quarters for the time being. Sufficient. Actually, more than sufficient. Roomy. He appreciates the seating area and the small assortment of real books in the corner. He puts down his duffle in the corner and walks over to browse the books currently residing on the shelves and recognizes a few that belong to the Commander, to include the book of poetry by Lord Alfred Tennyson that he remembers Ashley would carry around the SR1. His heart clenches at the memory and he turns away to look at Damien as he stares out at the view. 

“Damien?” Kaidan says softly. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah. Let’s get your gear squared away. Follow me.” Damien says leaving the room and walking towards the elevator. 

Kaidan follows him and waits quietly as they step into the elevator and descend to the cargo bay. When they arrive, a familiar scene enfolds and he grins when he and Damien step out and walk toward the ring of spectators observing the two familiar soldiers grappling on the sparring mats, in the middle of the cargo bay. 

Damien sidles up to a dark skinned soldier taking bets on the outcome of the match and asks, “What’s the damage, Cortez?” 

“The same as always, Shepard. Do you want in on the cut?” 

Damien laughs. “Naw. No need to rub more salt into the wound. He should know better by now. Garrus is hard to beat.”

“Not for you. You always seem to come out the victor when sparring with him.”

Damien laughs wickedly this time. “Yeah, well, I’ve known Garrus longer. Besides, if James wants to be an ‘N,’ this,” waiving at the spectacle of Garrus kicking the Lieutenant’s ass, “will help him get ready for ICT.”

Cortez laughs, “True. Plus, as an added bonus, maybe getting his ass kicked will help humble that oversized ego of his.”

James says suddenly a little winded from the exertions of trying to avoid another hit from Garrus, “I heard that, Esteban.”

Cortez guffaws and then flinches when Garrus takes advantage of James’ moment of distraction and tackles him, throwing him to the mat, face first. 

James groans and slaps the mat as a sign of having enough. Garrus bends over and asks him if he’s okay. He doesn’t move but his hand changes to a thumb up gesture and Garrus chortles as he straightens and comes over to Cortez barely winded from his sparring match, to ask about his winnings. 

“You cleaned up well this time, Garrus. 300 credits.” Cortez says as he checks his datapad. 

Garrus exclaims, “Nice. I can afford that new sniper scope I’ve had my eye on.” Then he notes the appearance of a new face grinning at him, “Oh, hey Kaidan, joining the crew?”

“Yes. It’s good to see you again in better circumstances, Garrus.”

“Likewise.” They shake hands.

Damien notes the sly look that Garrus gives him and looks at him questioningly. Then when Steve coughs, he says by way of introduction, “Lt. Steve Cortez this is Major Kaidan Alenko. He’s joining the crew. As a Spectre he’ll be representing the council while onboard. Kaidan, this is Lt. Steve Cortez. He’s our shuttle pilot and requisitions officer.”

“Welcome aboard, Major.” Cortez says shaking his hand. 

“Lieutenant,” Kaidan says.

Damien laughs looking at the pitiful sight of James lying in the same spot he landed on, not having bothered to move yet. Pointing at him, he says, “I think you remember Lt. James Vega, right? He’s currently the lump of human flesh decorating the floor. Hey James? You alright? Need the doc?”

A grumbled ‘maybe’ comes from the floor. Damien chuckles and brings up the haptic display of his omni-tool and contacts Dr. Chakwas. “Doc says not to move. Stay put, LT.” Another grumbled ‘yes, sir’ comes from the floor. 

“Hey, Cortez, can you hook up Major Alenko with some new gear and his choice of weapons? Also, did Specialist Traynor contact you?”

“Yes, sir, the requisition order is in and will be arriving soon. I’ll see that Major Alenko’s quarters are ready by the evening, sir.”

“Good man. Alright, Kaidan…uh wait, I’m getting a message. Just a moment,” and walks over to the side to read his message from Traynor. 

After gaining the Major’s attention again after he looks after the retreating Commander, Steve grins at the good looking man in front of him and asks, “You served with Garrus and our Commander on the SR1, as I recall?”

“Yes, that is correct.” Kaidan says.

“You’ll have to tell me about it sometime. I bet you have a lot of stories about the Commander. There’s a below deck rumor, that I haven't been able to confirm, that our Commander isn’t a very good driver.”

Kaidan and Garrus look at each other and both look away to snigger. “Uh…” looking in the direction of the Commander over near the Kodiak shuttle, “I’ll have to get back to you on that later, Lt.”

Cortez looks at the two men laughing quietly and is about to ask another Commander related question, when Shepard returns and interrupts. 

“Hey, Kaidan, sorry but I have to go. An emergent situation has come up that Commander Bailey could use my help on.” When Kaidan and Garrus look like they are about to ask if he needs their help as well, he puts out a hand and says, “Stay put guys. Thanks for the offer, but I’ll be fine. Garrus, can you finish showing Kaidan the ship and getting him settled with his transfer?”

“Yes, Shepard,” Garrus agrees. 

“Great.” After nodding at Cortez he looks at Kaidan and says, “I’ll see you later, Kaidan. Glad to have you back.”


	2. Welcome Aboard

Garrus looks at Kaidan noting his subtle disappointment at not continuing to be by the Commander’s side. Hmm, he looks crestfallen as Shepard retreats into the elevator. Huh, even more interesting, he catches Shepard’s slight wave right before the doors close and Kaidan’s response of reddened cheeks. Very, very, interesting. Trying to lighten the mood a little, he says catching Kaidan’s attention, “I guess it’s just you and me.”

“I guess so.”

“I’ll wait over there for you while Cortez hooks you up.” Garrus says pointing at the weapon's bench in James’ makeshift work area. 

“Okay. Thanks Garrus.”

After picking out a set of heavy armor that compliments his combat style, courtesy of Shepard (according to the requisition order) and picking the Mattock assault rifle and the Phalanx pistol modded with all the new tech specs, Kaidan ambles over to where Garrus is cleaning his rifle. 

Along the way he is stopped by Dr. Chakwas, who gives him a quick hug startling him and making him promise to visit her later for his requisite physical exam. As she turns back towards her patient, he chuckles when he overhears her mumble to herself ‘impertinent child that can’t learn his lesson taking on a 7 foot Turian,’ as she checks James’ vitals. 

Garrus turns towards him after putting his rifle in his locker and says, “All set?”

“Yeah. What’s next on the agenda?”

“Let’s go to the engineering deck. There’s someone I think you’ll want to see.”

“Okay.” They enter the elevator again and ascend one floor. As they emerge on the deck, they almost run into a slight female in an Alliance logo leather dress that doesn’t conceal much. Kaidan does a double take, not at the dress, but at the camera that follows her. Garrus huffs out an irritated sigh and blocks the door of the elevator from closing, “Allers, what did I tell you about taking your camera with you beyond your quarters?”

“Commander Vakarian, sir, I didn’t see you,” she says looking slightly miffed that she got caught. “I’ll return my camera right away,” she says walking out of the elevator towards her quarters. After a few steps she turns around again and asks Garrus, “Who’s this?”

Garrus grumbles in response, “Allers, this is Major Kaidan Alenko. He’s joining our crew.”

Allers looks Kaidan up and down and bats her eyelashes at him making him grimace at her. She smiles deviously, “Hmm, Major Alenko…the second human Spectre, joining the crew of the Normandy. That, is a story that needs to be told. Diana Allers, Alliance News Network. It is very nice to meet you. I would loove to interview you sometime,” she purrs seductively and winks at him before glaring at Garrus as she turns back towards her quarters with her camera lagging behind her. 

“Ugh, come on,” Garrus says walking quickly into the next set of doors that lead to another set and has stairs leading down into what can only be a maintenance area for the engine room. Once the doors close behind them, Garrus turns back around and notices that Kaidan is rubbing the back of his neck in irritation. Remembering that Shepard likes to use that same gesture when he’s irritated, he coughs to tamp down his amusement. This is just another hint that something is amiss with his friend and the Major. Trying not to laugh at the antics of humans, he says, “Forget her. She’s a nosy bitch, that one.”

“Why is she even on the Normandy, Garrus? I can’t believe Shepard would even allow a news reporter on the ship. You know he can’t stand most of them that we’ve come across. The one that reported on him after becoming a Spectre … Khalisah something, ugh, he hated her. He wanted to punch her for her blatant innuendos,” Kaidan says disgusted remembering and grimaces at the nerve of that Allers lady for flirting with him. 

“Ha! I remember. He did once. Back on the Citadel, last year, she brought up the lives lost during the Citadel battle. He got extremely quiet and next thing I knew, he cold cocked her right in the face. Broke her nose, I think.”

Kaidan looks up at Garrus in surprise and with his mouth twitching into a slight smile he says, “I think I would have like to see that. Was it recorded?”

“Actually, I think she deleted the footage, but one of Shepard’s crew members, Kasumi, she was there and recorded it. I’ll ask her if she can make a copy of it, if you'd like.”

“Sure.”

“Regarding Allers? Actually, I’m not sure why Shepard gave permission for her to be on the ship. You will have to ask him. Either way, she doesn’t leave her quarters often, thank the Spirits. I can’t stand her. And as you observed, she is not fond of me. Most of the crew avoids her. Also, if you ever see her camera outside of her quarters, let me know. She’s already been warned once; the rest of the ship is off limits to record, unless she is given express permission by Shepard.”

“Noted,” Kaidan says and then remembers something the reporter said, “Garrus, she called you Commander. What is that about?”

“Oh that. Yeah, you are looking at the official Reaper Advisor to the new Primarch. As such, my new official title is Commander. As Shepard’s XO, I guess it made more sense to give me a rank. I don’t know if you heard, but Admiral Hackett technically promoted Shepard to the rank of Captain. He’s just widely known as ‘Commander Shepard,’ so he still goes by that rank, at least until this war is over.”

“What? He never said anything.” Kaidan says shocked that Damien never mentioned it to him. 

Garrus chortles, “Yeah, well, I’m not surprised. I think he forgets sometimes too. He’s been the great Commander Shepard so long that his promotion probably doesn’t even register. When it counts, he dusts his new bars off and wears them, but everyday life, well, he lets everyone just call him Commander or Shepard. You know him. He’s not one to follow the rules.” 

Kaidan laughs, “Glad to see that he hasn’t changed much.”

Garrus chirps in agreement, “Hey, come on, there’s someone who I think you’ll want to see.”

Kaidan follows Garrus into the engine room and he looks around wide-eyed and whistles in appreciation. 

“Glad to see that your taste in engines hasn’t been dulled by the complacency of your other posts, Major.” 

“Lt. Adams?” Kaidan says grinning as he shakes the hand of one of the best engineers he’s had the honor of serving with. “It’s great to see you again.”

Garrus leaves the two tech heads to catch up and walks over to Daniels and Donnelly to see if they have anything to report. After receiving their normal, ‘the board is green’ responses, Donnelly turns to Garrus and exclaims, “Thanks for wiping the floor with James again. I won back the credits that he stole from me in our last poker game.” 

“My pleasure, Donnelly,” Garrus says grinning at him. 

Daniels looked up at him after sneaking a quick glance at their newest crew member talking to Lt. Adams, “Isn’t that the second human Spectre? What is he doing here, Garrus?”

“Does he play poker?” Ken asks.

“Is that all you ever think about, Kenneth?” Gabby says irritably.

Before Donnelly can respond with another volley of idiocy, Garrus catches Kaidan’s eyes and motions him over to meet the other engineers. “Kaidan meet Engineers Ken Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels. They served with us last year in our fight against the Collectors. Donnelly and Daniels, this is Major Kaidan Alenko. He’s joining the crew and will be representing the council.”

Kaidan looks them over and asks confused, “You’re Alliance? But you worked for Cerberus?”

Donnelly says, “Och man. We didn’t technically ‘work’ for Cerberus. Not really. We signed up to work for Commander Shepard. Well, him and the Normandy. Come on, how can you not work on such a beautifully designed ship.”

“Yeah, Normandy is the most precious and sweetest girl in the Alliance fleet.” Gabby interjects with a smile. 

Ken adds, “And those curves…Mmm,” smiling dreamily. 

“Kenneth! Geez, watch what you’re saying. So sorry, Major Alenko.” Gabby says turning red with embarrassment. Garrus and Lt. Adams just chuckle used to Ken’s outbursts of stupidity. Gabby says by way of explanation, “Kenneth doesn’t have much of a filter around other people.”

Ken looks at her and says simply not bothered at all by the fact that there are higher ranking personnel within hearing distance, “What? I was only admiring her ample…”

“Kenneth!”

Garrus interrupts and says ‘carry on’ even though clearly both Ken and Gabby have completely forgotten their audience and have moved off towards their stations to bicker quietly. 

As they walk towards the double doors leading out into the walkway, Kaidan looks enquiringly at Garrus and Adams. Garrus explains, “They were both on the SSV Perugia during the Battle of the Citadel, seeing Sovereign first hand. After Shepard died,” pausing when Kaidan flinches, “And was discredited, they defected and eventually were recruited by the Illusive Man to join Shepard’s crew, when they rebuilt both him and the Normandy. They never truly worked for Cerberus, like they said. After leaving Earth, Shepard authorized a pardon for their involvement with Cerberus and offered them their jobs back.”

“Donnelly’s comments may be annoying but the two of them together are brilliant engineers and I’m happy to have them onboard.” Adams interjects. “Shepard has a good eye for talent.”

“Agreed,” Kaidan says.

“The doc wanted Kaidan to stop by the med bay, so we’ll see you later Adams,” Garrus says.

Lt. Adams comes to attention and salutes Kaidan. “Welcome back to the Normandy, Major. Let’s catch up sometime.”

Kaidan waves off the salute and shakes Adams’ hand and nods, “See you later.”

{{{}}}

After getting scanned, Kaidan puts his shirt back on and looks over at a sleeping James in the adjacent bed and asks Doctor Chakwas, “How’s he really doing?”

Karin Chakwas looks up and over at the monitor that is displaying James’ stats, “He’ll be fine. He has a small concussion and a broken nose, which has been fixed. Being knocked on his face by Garrus during their ill-advised sparring rematch, aggravated his shoulder that he tore on Tuchanka. I’m keeping him here tonight for observation. I sedated him so he would stop squirming long enough to let the articulator fix the tear. 

Familiar with her methods for dealing with stubborn soldiers, he only nods at her and looks up when Garrus comes into the med bay. 

“Hey, Kaidan, another acquaintance of ours would like to see you.”

Kaidan hops off the examination bed and starts walking with Garrus towards the med bay’s exit when EDI walks in. He automatically jumps in front of Karin and puts up a barrier that encloses over her and the unconscious James, automatically starting to make the mnemonic for a Reave, when Garrus jumps in front of him and the startled EDI who raises her hands up. 

“Whoa, Kaidan! Stand down!” Garrus shouts trying to get Kaidan’s attention. 

“The hell Garrus, get out of the way. That’s the bot that almost killed me,” Kaidan yells starring at the bot in question.

Garrus looks at EDI and motions her to stay put and explains to the nervous biotic in front of him, “This is EDI. She’s our AI on the Normandy. After Menae, she transitioned a portion of herself into Dr. Eva’s body taking control. She’s a part of the crew now. Stand down.”

“Major Alenko, I’m sorry for scaring you. Commander Vakarian speaks the truth. You are a part of the crew. I cannot injure a member of the crew, it is against my programming,” EDI explains. 

Recognizing the same electronic voice from the decontamination chamber, Kaidan lowers the hand that would create the Reave but keeps the barrier in place looking suspicious. Karin touches his arm, making him flinch slightly, “It’s okay, Kaidan, EDI is speaking the truth. Thank you for trying to protect me and James, but there is no need,” Karin says quietly. 

Kaidan nods and lowers his barrier. 

“I’m sorry to spring EDI on you, Kaidan; I thought Shepard had told you about her already,” Garrus says after Kaidan watches EDI warily as she takes her leave and walks through the med bay to disappear into the AI core. 

“No. Although, now I understand why he looked panicked after we passed through the decon chamber when she welcomed me onboard. We also didn’t visit Joker on the bridge. I would presume that she was up there at the time,” Kaidan says by way of explanation. 

“Probably. She’s his co-pilot.”

Kaidan shakes himself and says by way of distraction, “Good to see you Doc. Garrus, you mentioned that there was someone else who wanted to see me?”

“Right. Follow me.”

{{{}}} 

 “So, you’re the Shadow Broker now. You mentioned that on Mars, but I guess I didn’t think too much into it at the time. However,” Kaidan looks around at her setup in her quarters, “I believe you now.” 

“You doubted me?” Liara asks.

“No, it’s just not what I expected, I guess, with your previous work as an archeologist. Hey, if it makes you happy, who am I to discourage you. I’m just happy to see you Liara. I didn’t know you were on the Normandy.” 

“Well, with decoding the Crucible project and helping with the Prothean language translations, I’m very busy. It seemed prudent for me to be stationed on the Normandy, after Mars,” Liara says shrugging. 

Huh, Kaidan thinks, she didn’t mention Shepard once. Are they still together? He hadn’t heard otherwise, and she seems so closed off now. She’s definitely no longer the young Asari maiden, innocent to the ways of the galaxy outside of her Prothean studies anymore. 

“Well, I can see that you are busy. It was good to see you, again. If you have time later, it would be great to catch up,” Kaidan says noticing that she has turned back towards her monitors that take up an entire wall of her quarters. 

“Huh? Oh yes, we’ll catch up later. Nice to see you, Kaidan,” Liara says dismissing him. 

He shrugs and walks out her door and meets back up with Garrus who is eating in the mess hall. He sits across from him and looks back toward Liara’s quarters, “So…Liara…?”

“Yeah, we don’t see her often. She’s embroiled in whatever she does as the Broker these days.” Garrus says trying to explain her circumstance. 

“Is Shepard and Liara…? You know what, never mind.” Kaidan looks away.

Garrus chuckles making Kaidan look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You aren’t very subtle, Kaidan. I know what you are asking.” 

“And?”

“You’ll have to ask Shepard.”

“Hey, I was just wondering if things were the same as they were on the SR1, that’s all.” Kaidan says trying to shrug off whatever Garrus is accusing him of.

“Uh huh. Sure. You are aware that Turians have an innate sense of smell, right?” Garrus chortles at him.

“Huh. You know what, let’s talk about something else.” 

{{{}}}

“Hey Kaidan, shoot anyone lately? Or point your weapon at a friend? Just wondering, cause I want to be prepared, just in case.”

“No worries there. I only shoot those that annoy me.”

“Oh, ouch! Glad we aren’t friends then.”

“Always a pleasure, Joker.”

“Major.”

Garrus huffs in irritation as he watches Kaidan head back towards the CIC. Then turns towards Joker when he hears him mumble, ‘Major Butthead’ as he turns his chair back around toward his console. “Joker!”

“What! There is no love lost between the Major and myself. Ever since he almost killed me after losing the Commander, we haven’t really been that close.”

“I understand Joker, but he is now a member of the crew and your superior officer. You don’t have to be friends, but for Shepard’s sake, I think he would appreciate it if you and Kaidan dropped the bullshit you have between you and get over it already.”

“Really?” Joker asks Garrus, aghast at the very idea.

“Yes really. Trust me. I’ve had my misgivings about Kaidan. Truthfully though, having Kaidan back makes Shepard happy. I could tell that his presence, even briefly, has already made an impact on our friend. I’m going to give Kaidan the benefit of the doubt and drop any anger I still have towards him and give him a chance. But, should he hurt Shepard again, I’ll help you dump him out the nearest airlock. Deal?”

“Oh alright. Anything for Shepard.”

Garrus pats Joker’s headrest in acknowledgement. 

Before returning to his rounds, Garrus asks Joker, “Did Shepard say how long he would be on the Citadel?”

“No. He only mentioned that he was asked to intervene on an investigation by Commander Bailey.”

“Ok. As soon as C-Sec gives the ‘all clear,’ I think we are in need of some shore leave. If Shepard gives the okay and no priority missions arise, then I’ll give the order for 24 hours. Let me know when Shepard returns. 

“Will do. Later, Garrus.”

Once Garrus leaves the bridge, Joker opens an extranet email to Kaidan. Taking Garrus’ advice, he sends him a brief apology note. He may hold a grudge against the idiot for all the hurtful things he has done to his friend, but when Shepard left earlier, he did notice that he seemed to be in a better mood. He was even able to make Shepard laugh. He hadn’t been able to do that in a long time. Whatever Kaidan had done to help lighten Shepard’s load, well, he guessed that he should at least give Kaidan one more chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-1: The fact that Shepard was never promoted to Captain at least during ME3, always bothered me. Especially considering the fact that he is the 'tip' of the spear according to Admiral Hackett. So, in my story, he has been promoted. Only on the DL to anyone outside of the Normandy. It also makes sense that his friends would automatically revert to 'Commander' or 'Shepard' as well, since he's famously known that way. That's my explanation, anyway...
> 
> A/N-2: An 'articulator' is a made up word for a machine that stitches material together. As in this instance, it was James' torn shoulder. At the time it made sense to me. Maybe later, when I've thought of something better, I'll change it. Told you, my muse is crazy. lol


	3. Starboard Observation Lounge

As soon as Damien returns to the Normandy, he has an overwhelming urge to seek out the company of Kaidan. Although, admittedly, he is a little confused about the amount of his interest in wanting to be with his friend, he decides it is best just to be near him so he can figure it out. Maybe Kaidan has the same feelings towards him. There is really only one way to find out. So, this is what drives him to look for his friend. But, just as he’s about to greet him, after entering Kaidan’s quarters, he notices that something is amiss with him. He seems saddened. So, Damien just decides to join him at the window and wait until he notices him. If Kaidan wants to talk, he’ll talk on his own time. 

A big sigh from Kaidan is the only indication that he knows that Damien has joined him in his solitude. He doesn’t turn towards him, but says instead, “All seems so calm from here,” as he looks out at the Citadel. 

“It does,” Damien agrees. 

“People are going through hell in a million different ways, out beyond the Citadel. I so want to be fighting along beside them, but huh, I want to be here, you know?”

“Sure. Thinking about someone in particular?”

“I heard from my Mom, Shepard. My Dad is uh, he’s MIA. He’s presumed…”

“Tell me what happened. You said that they got out of Vancouver.”

“He left Mom at the orchard and reported for active duty. It’s all we know, but it’s…it’s enough. She’s alone in this now, in ‘all’ this.”

“I feel for you Kaidan and I’m glad you told me. There is strength in camaraderie…in empathy.” 

“Thanks. You’re right. I don’t know how you do it, Shepard, keeping it all together like you do. Earth is always in the back of my mind…haunting me,” Kaidan says quietly as he finally looks at him.

Damien’s heart freezes. He knows that look. The amount of pain and hurt in Kaidan’s eyes is killing him. And, unfortunately, Damian does know what that feels like. He says, “I get that. I do.” 

Kaidan looks back out towards the Citadel, “And my students ...well. Wherever they are, I know that they are kicking ass, on Earth or somewhere.” He pauses and takes a deep breath and exhales it, like it is relieving some of his tension along with it. “You know after this war is over, there is going to be one hell of a party.” 

“Hell yeah!” Damien exclaims looking over at Kaidan. 

Still looking out through the window not really seeing the view, he says quietly, “You know my mother always wanted to go off planet. I think I’ll take her.” 

Kaidan leans his shoulder against the glass and continues to looks at the normalcy of the view of the Citadel, at its inhabitants that are going through their lives like nothing is amiss, like a war isn’t going on, destroying everything in its wake. It doesn’t seem fair really; that some people are facing a devastating loss while others are happily going through life like nothing has changed. 

When Kaidan hears the doors to his quarters open, he turns to see that Shepard was about to say something and go, and he realizes that he really doesn’t want to be alone right now. “Shepard?”

Damien says, “Yeah?”

“Stay, please. I’d appreciate some company, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” Damien says as he comes and sits on the seat that faces towards the window letting the doors close behind him. 

“Hey, would you like some whiskey? I still have that bottle you gave me, back when you visited me in the hospital. This isn’t quite the occasion I was hoping to share it with you, but I could really use a drink right about now.”

“Sounds like a great idea,” Shepard says agreeing with him. 

Kaidan walks over to his shelving unit and grabs the whiskey and two glass tumblers. He unscrews the top and pours several fingers of the amber fluid into both glasses and hands one of them to Damien before sitting across from him on the opposite seating area. 

Damien sips the amber whiskey and moans a little as the alcohol slowly melts into his mouth and he swallows it, allowing the slow burn to warm him as it slides down his throat. “Mmm, good stuff.”

Kaidan had stopped thinking about his situation as soon as Damien moaned around the glass of whiskey. Oh holy hell, that one moan did several things simultaneously; he relaxed, his heart flipped flopped in his chest making him ache to hear Damien moan again, and his dormant libido just sky rocketed into overdrive as his other brain started twitching with arousal. Crap! How can one moan from Shepard awaken his lust so quickly? Especially after hearing the news from home? Kaidan shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable from his thoughts about Shepard and how that moan affected him as well as his uniform trousers around a certain area. He readjusted his position to lean his elbows on his knees so he could hide his sudden predicament from the object of his interest. He tamps down a moan of his own when he hears Shepard moan again from another swallow of the whiskey. He needs to think of something to say…think with your other brain, Kaidan! THINK! “Uh…how did your mission go on the Citadel, Shepard?” Phew. Not bad. Now if he can stop thinking about bending his friend over the back of the seat he’s sitting on and…wait …Shit…

“Oh yeah, you remember the Volus Ambassador, Din Korlack? What was it, four years ago, he kept saying nasty things about our intentions for helping that Elcor out with the Consort?”

Kaidan said “Yeah,” quickly trying not to blush at all the images that kept popping into his head regarding Damien and him together. Him making Shepard moan as he…Hello! Kaidan huffs a sigh at himself, Shepard just asked him a question, right? What did he say? Oh, yeah, Volus Ambassador, Elcor, Consort. Oh…kay…yeah, he remembers. Yes, keep that up. Distraction! “I remember him. He was annoying and kept saying that we were only helping out to further our own goals or something, right?”

“That’s him. Well, unfortunately, he will no longer be an ambassador for the Volus,” Damien said taking another sip of the whiskey. 

“Oh?” Kaidan says a little disappointed that Shepard didn’t moan again. 

“Yeah,” Shepard grimaced, “He apparently was giving intel to Cerberus.”

Cerberus! Apparently, that is the magic word that completely wrenches Kaidan out of any lustful thoughts about Damien. He says, “What? He was working for Cerberus?”

“I thought that might get your attention. Yeah, he had dealings with them, up until during the coup. Unfortunately, by the time he tried to back out of his dealings with them, he already had a hit out on him. But, Din isn’t stupid. He is a Volus. Anyway, he apparently recorded his conversations with the operative he was working with and left the messages on his terminal for me to find. He also left a communication device that led me to his whereabouts after he was kidnapped. Fortunately, for me, one of his kidnappers is an old friend of mine. I was able to tip my friend off through the comm unit and by the time I arrived, he had taken care of things. Through some negotiation tactics, I was able to get Din to confess about his dealings, reveal that Cerberus was going to attack a Turian colony, and acquired what is left of the Volus fleet to join our cause.”

“You did all that in a couple of hours? Damn, Shepard. Can I be you when I grow up?” Kaidan says in awe.

Damien laughs. “It ‘was’ pretty quick. I wasn’t expecting my friend to help out. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have been able to save Din or that Turian colony.” Damien looks at Kaidan and winks. “It’s good to have friends,” he says indicating that he wasn’t only talking about the friend that helped him out with the Volus. Kaidan flushed suddenly. Shepard continued as though he hadn’t seen Kaidan’s flushed cheeks. “After running into Zaeed again on the docks, he will also be joining the cause, he and a few of his Veteran friends.”

Kaidan just looks at him with his mouth open. He blinks and shakes his head. “Damn! I’m glad that you’re the one in charge,” and downs the whiskey in his glass. 

Watching Kaidan’s throat swallow the whiskey from his glass, Damien suddenly feels hot. Trying to distract his thoughts from the gorgeous man in front of him, he asks, “So how did the rest of your tour go?” 

Kaidan pours himself another three fingers of whiskey after offering to refill Damien’s glass and puts the bottle down near him when Damien shakes his head, “As well as can be, I guess.” 

“Oh?” 

“It was great seeing Doctor Chakwas, Lt. Adams, and Garrus again. They were all very accommodating. Joker and I didn’t really hit if off very well, but he sent me an apology note afterward, so I guess we’re okay.” When Kaidan recognizes Shepard’s brow furrowing in irritation, he says, “Don’t worry about it, Damien. Joker and I have had a rocky friendship. I wasn’t very nice to him after the SR1 was destroyed. I don’t blame him, really, for the way he acted towards me. But, his apology changed that. Maybe we can work on rectifying our friendship now that we are serving on the Normandy, once again.”

“Okay.”

“Oh! By the way, I met EDI.”

Shepard shot out of his chair, “Oh Shit! I’m so sorry, Kaidan. Uh, are you okay? Is…she…ok?”

Kaidan chuckles a little, “EDI, are you okay?”

“I am fine, Major Alenko. Thank you for asking.” EDI says through the intercom over their heads. 

Shepard looks up at the intercom and then back down at Kaidan with a raised eyebrow.

Kaidan indicates for him to sit back down. After Damien sits, he explains, “After a tense moment in the med bay, Garrus and Karin explained to me that EDI was your ship’s AI and I probably shouldn’t harm her since she is part of the crew.”

“Thank the Spirits. So, all is good between you two?” Shepard asks both Kaidan and EDI.

“Yes, Captain. Major Alenko and I have been conversing and it was I, who was able to find out about his family. I am sorry that I brought bad news, Major. I did not mean to deliver news that hurt you.”

“It’s okay, EDI. I’d rather know than keep wondering. You did the right thing in telling me.” 

Shepard looks up at the monitor and says, “EDI, I am glad that you are okay and that you and Kaidan are getting to know each other. Could you please delete any recordings you may have from this room today? Also, please limit access to this room from now on.”

“Yes, Shepard.”

“That will be all, EDI.”

“Logging you out.”

“She recorded our conversation?” Kaidan looks at the monitor suspiciously.

“Probably. It’s part of her security protocols. It’s for if we are ever infiltrated here on the Normandy. It’s a remote chance, but it doesn’t hurt to be cautious. Also, you should be aware that Joker likes to listen in on conversations throughout the ship. There are only a few places, namely the Main Battery, my quarters, and now yours, that are off limits. Mostly, because Garrus and I know he does it and EDI has been asked to not allow him access.”

Kaidan starts to chuckle. “That sounds familiar. He used to do that on the SR1.”

“Yeah, well, he hasn’t changed much since then. Eh, his voyeuristic tendencies don’t bother me much and at times it’s highly amusing, but I can’t let him get away with it too often.”

“Ha!…so...Captain, huh?” Kaidan says addressing the other elephant in the room. EDI let it slip in her response to his inquiries and Garrus did mention that Damien wasn’t one to remember the promotion. 

“Oh, you heard that did you?” Damien said as he rubs his free hand over his face and peeks at Kaidan.

“Congratulations.” Kaidan says smiling at him.

“I guess. It’s mostly for show when the Brass is around. It makes sense for my role in this mess of a war, but it’s a nuisance really. More paperwork.”

“Welcome to my world.” Kaidan says snidely.

Shepard rolls his eyes. To change the topic, he asks “Anything else happen during the tour I need to know about?”

“Well, other than a reporter on the Normandy, two engineers that aren’t very versed in protocol, and an old friend of ours who is the Shadow Broker, yeah, the tour went well.”

Shepard laughs. “I see you met Ken and Gabby. Yeah, their protocol is not by the book, but they are damn good at what they do. They are brilliant and work well together besides the bickering and Ken’s blatant idiotic tendencies, but I’m glad they are here. They got me out of a lot of scrapes last year during our hunt for the Collectors. It was the least I could do and pardon them for their affiliation to Cerberus and give them their jobs back.”

“Makes sense. Garrus says that Ken enjoys poker, so I’m sure I’ll get my chance to interact with him.”

“It’s not Ken that you should worry about. Gabby plays too. Between her and James, they have cleaned out most of the crew who venture into playing poker with them. Just be warned.”

“Noted.” Kaidan smiles and downs his drink. After pouring himself another glass, he looks at Damien and notes that he is looking out the window again and has relaxed his stance. He’s curious about Liara and his relationship, but doesn’t want to ruin the mood. So, he asks about the ANN reporter, instead.

“Allers? Yeah, you know I don’t like reporters. I’m sure you are wondering why she’s here on the Normandy,” Damien says after Kaidan asks about her. 

“I know your track record with reporters, Damien. Remember that one who cornered us in the bar in Vancouver? He wouldn’t shut up about your involvement at Elysium. I thought you were going to knock him out.”

“I was. But, I didn’t want the attention that would inspire. Especially, with all of us there on shore leave after the Luna incident. So, I walked away. I just wanted to get back to our appointment at your…parents’ house.” Damien paused suddenly after he finished his statement. “I’m sorry, Kaidan, I didn’t mean to bring up…” and paused as he saw grief and despair wind its way into his friend’s eyes again. 

Kaidan had gasped at the memory of his parents who had invited the ground crew of the Normandy to visit for lunch while they were on shore leave. Both Wrex and Tali couldn’t make it due to other arrangements, but the six of them that were left (Him, Damien, Liara, Ashley, Garrus, and Joker) all met up at his parents’ house for drinks, a bioti-ball tournament game on the vid player, and a free lunch courtesy of his mother. 

Kaidan looks up when he sees Damien standing afore him with his hand out saying his name. He can’t help it when he grabs his friend’s hand and pulls him down to sit with him and wraps his arm around his neck to bury his face in his shoulder. 

Damien awkwardly wraps his other arm around the grief stricken Kaidan and gently pats him on the back trying to give him comfort. A soft cry comes to his ears as his friend falls apart and starts shaking with grief. Shepard tightens his grip on Kaidan’s back and lets his hand drift to his waist as he hugs Kaidan to him. Not knowing what else to do he just holds Kaidan as he continues to sob at the loss of his father. 

He doesn’t know how long he sits there trying to comfort Kaidan but after a while he notices that Kaidan is no longer shaking and is breathing normally. He slowly starts to comprehend that Kaidan’s body is completely relaxed as well. Actually, now that he is aware of this, he starts to feel a tingling sensation on his neck and realizes that Kaidan has fallen asleep in his arms and is exhaling into his neck. Suddenly he feels extremely honored that Kaidan obviously trusts him enough to totally let go and let his guard down. He smiles to himself when he feels only gratification that he was able to give him comfort in his time of need. 

Gently, so as not to wake Kaidan, he disentangles himself from around his friend and lays him down on the leather seating. Although, knowing from experience that he can lift Kaidan easily enough to get him to his bed, he decides not to, just in case he might awaken. He obviously needs his rest. He does however take Kaidan’s shoes and socks off and grabs a pillow and blanket from the made bed. He rearranges Kaidan so he will be comfortable by putting the pillow under his head and wrapping the blanket around him. As a last thought, he brushes Kaidan’s salt and pepper hair out of his eyes and kisses him on the forehead gently and smiles when Kaidan mumbles his name in his sleep. He stands back and looks at this amazing friend and sighs, remembering how it felt to hold him. He now knows why he was seeking him out earlier. He’s fallen for his friend. Actually, to be honest, he acknowledges that he has felt this way for a long time. With one last look at the object of his interest, he walks out the door and locks it behind him. 

“EDI,” he says quietly, “Please make sure that nothing disturbs Kaidan, until he wakes up.” 

“Yes, Shepard,” EDI says quietly in response. 

Damien looks at the Starboard Observation Lounge’s red orbed door and sighs. Sending a quick note to Kaidan’s omni-tool on silence mode, he mentions that the crew is on a 24 hour shore leave and ended the message with ‘should you need me, I’m available to you anytime.’ Satisfied that Kaidan can seek him out later, if needed, he is startled suddenly when his stomach growls. Damien laughs at himself and decides a quick meal wouldn’t hurt before finishing any work that needed to be done before he goes to bed. As he walks around the partition to the mess hall he pauses suddenly when his eyes alight on the glowing red orb of Liara’s quarters. SHIT. Oh, holy hell. 

He looks away and forgetting that he’s hungry his eyes alight on the door of the Main Battery with its green orbed entry beckoning to him. Thank the Spririts. Garrus! Maybe, just maybe, his best friend can help him out. 

He starts walking towards the green light at the end of the dark tunnel his thoughts have brought him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Today was a good day. All I wanted to do was write. I usually hold onto new Chapters for awhile until I can reread them a few times, editing each time, but I had to share this right away. I usually write OC story lines, but to be honest, the few canon lines I have used in this story so far is inspirational. Hope you don't mind. This is my version of when Kaidan gains the knowledge about his family. Comfort is a good thing. We all need it from time to time.


	4. Main Battery

“Hey, Garrus, got a minute? I could really use a friend right about now.”

“Sure. I’ve done enough calibrations of the guns for the evening. What’s up?” He asks turning around expecting some sort of bad joke about his constant vigilance on the calibrations of the Normandy’s guns. His smirk turns to worry when he sees Shepard’s face. He joins him on the crates stacked next to his weapon’s bench and waits patiently for his friend and CO to say what he came to ask him about.

Shepard sighs and gets up to pace in front of Garrus, not knowing exactly what to say. 

Garrus waits a few minutes and just watches his friend get more agitated as he paces in front of him. Even though he has never been very intuitive when it comes to humans, after working closely with the human Commander, his best friend, he knows that his pacing is his sign that something is really bothering him. Garrus finally stands up and puts a talon on Shepard’s shoulder to stop him from wearing a hole in the deck plating. He looks down at his friend and asks, “That bad? What is going on?”

Shepard stares at his best friend, “Uh…I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s a first.”

“What?”

Garrus steers them both over to the crates and sits Shepard down and sits next to him. “If you are saying, for the first time I might add that you don’t know what to do, I suppose that you are referring to Kaidan, yes?”

Damien looks up at Garrus startled, “What?” 

Garrus shakes his head and chirps in irritation. HUMANS! If only they had the sense of smell like that of Turians. It was so obvious that both Shepard and Kaidan had the hots for each other. Earlier in the cargo bay, upon learning that Shepard had invited Kaidan to join his crew again, the very air around them was filled with so much sexual tension that Garrus could immediately smell the arousal from each of them. Actually, he had to take a cold shower after giving Kaidan the official tour, just to get the ‘smell’ of their arousal out of his nose. 

As an evolutionary predator, he could definitely tell when individuals were; aroused, angry, sad, scared...hell any emotion really. He was a Turian lie detector. The scent coming off of prey, or in this case, his human friend, just emanated off of him. Humans had no idea how many pheromones they gave off, just walking around. It was amazing really; that they had evolved into the advanced society they were now. He laughs to himself when he remembers that they evolved from pyjaks. 

When Shepard coughs to get his attention, he scowls and hops up from the crates to do some pacing of his own. Garrus shakes his head. He saw immediately that they were hot for each other, and not just recently. The ‘scent’ had been emanating from the both of them since their time on the SR1. Using a human expression, Duh! It was about bloody time when Shepard noticed it for himself. 

“Garrus?” Damien says questioningly.

“You are such an idiot, Shepard.” 

Sudden understanding makes Damien rub the back of his neck and smile sheepishly at Garrus. “Yeah, I guess I am. You’ve known all this time, haven’t you?”

Garrus points at himself and shrugs, simply saying “Turian,” making Shepard laugh.

Damien laughter dies suddenly and with a grim facial expression, he gets up and strides over to the railing and leans against it facing towards Garrus who has stopped pacing to stare at him and crosses his arms over his chest. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s back, more than glad actually. I feel alive when I’m around him. I’ve missed him. When he almost died back on Mars…Holy hell, Garrus, I thought my heart was going to burst right there. I don’t know how I got through those few hours after taking him to Huerta Memorial. If he had died…” he left it hanging.

“Now I understand why you were so brutal and reckless. You acted very similar to how I was last year while hunting Sidonis.” 

“Yeah, I guess my latent renegade tendencies kind of took over. Up until I saw his message to me after picking you up, I think I almost had a seizure of relief when Kaidan said that he was better and open to having visitors.”

“Ahh, so the hasty return to the Citadel after Menae for no apparent reason…it’s all making sense, now.”

“So glad that you have it all figured out, bird brain.” Damien says flustered at being so obvious to Garrus, making his friend chortle at him for calling him a name. 

“So, the reason that you don’t know what to do…? Don’t tell me you are unaware that Kaidan feels the same for you. That’s not it, right? Don’t tell me that you are blind and stupid.”

Damien had been rubbing his hand over his ‘high and tight’ haircut but stopped to glare at his friend and say, “Watch it, space dinosaur, like you should talk.” He grimaces and looks away. Oops! Not wanting to piss off his shotgun wielding absentee Quarian friend, he says, “Uh, never mind.”

Garrus chirped again in question and it was his turn to say, “What?”

Damien shakes his head, “That is a conversation for another time,” pausing to glare at Garrus. Then he answers his friend’s question, “I’m not completely ignorant about Kaidan’s feelings. He’s said some things today that surprised me, but that is not the reason I’m here, actually. Although, knowing that Kaidan may feel the same way about me, that I do for him, is exhilarating. Anyway, the reason I’m not sure what to do is because of Liara? What do I do about Liara?”

{{{}}}

“Crap!”

“Yeah, that is an understatement.”

“Well, are you guys even together anymore? I barely ever see her leave her lair in the old XO’s quarters. Plus, you don’t talk about her much and I never see you two together in the same space. And last year, when she visited after the Shadow Broker takeover debacle, which was fun by the way. Remind me never to pick a fight with a Yahg, ever again. Anyway, didn’t she spend some private time in your cabin?” 

“Yeah, about that, uh…I thought we would spend more time together now that we are on the same ship, but I hardly ever see her. We said that we were going to work on ‘us’ but so far...nada. There has been some kissing, but not much else.” 

“Please Shepard, I really don’t need the details,” Garrus says and then pauses his train of thought as he thinks over what his friend just said. “Wait, nothing? You guys really haven’t…you know…,” gesturing his talons in the air.

“Nope. Not once. Not even after she came to see me in my cabin after her tour of the new Normandy last year…Uh, we were interrupted.” 

“Let me guess, Joker?”

Shepard laughs, “Not that time.” 

“Damn. So it’s been what, three years for you? How do you cope? Remember our stress talk? Besides, didn’t you have other opportunities on the ship before the Collector Base? What about Miranda or Jack? Tali even. I believe she had a crush on you for a while.” 

Shepard laughs, remembering to have that conversation with Garrus later, about the person that Tali really has a crush on. “Actually, it’s been a year, remember? Two years of that three, dead.”

“I remember. Believe me.” 

“Well, yeah, both Miranda and Jack made it known to me that they wouldn’t be opposed to having a relationship with me, it’s just that…” and stops when Garrus chortles loudly. “What?” he asks.

“You’re hopeless.”

“Excuse me? I thought I was still in love with Liara.”

“Well now you have to ruin my amusement by bringing ‘love’ into the equation.”

Damien flips his friend off and says, “Happy to oblige, asshole.” 

Garrus laughs and shakes his head in amusement at his friend’s situation. It must be nice having potential partners just throw themselves at him. The fact that he doesn’t take advantage of the opportunities given, just shows that he follows his Paragon tendencies (most of the time), both privately as well as professionally. It’s an honorable trait. 

“I think the reason I never initiated anything or ever confronted Liara, was that they weren’t the person I really wanted to be with. I get that now,” Damien says after thinking through his situation further. 

“I think you answered your own question. You need to talk with her.”

“Crap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the kudos.


	5. Liara

“Liara?” Damien says as the door to her office opens after he requests entry. 

“Hey Shepard, didn’t know you were still up,” Liara says typing frantically into her terminal. 

Damien stops just inside her door when he sees that she doesn’t even look up to see him and murmurs to himself, ‘It’s always Shepard with her. She has never called me by my first name.’

“Good evening, Captain, nice to see you again.” Glyph says peeking out of his casing and winking at him. 

Well, at least her VI acknowledges me, he thinks to himself. He nods at Glyph and comes further into Liara’s cabin so the door can close behind him. He stops at the side of her terminal to wait for her to acknowledge him. 

She finally stops her typing and looks up at him and smiles. “I don’t have a lot of time to talk right at the moment, but…mmphff.” She’s interrupted when Damien pulls her into his arms and kisses her, trying to see if they still have that ‘spark’ of chemistry they once had back on the SR1. That spark that he has saved just for them. Why else would he not give into the other offers, especially when just easing off the tension would have been nice. Kaidan technically wasn’t in the picture last year, right? Can it really be that even though they were not talking to each other, he was saving himself for Kaidan? What? Shaking himself internally, he tries to get back in the moment of kissing Liara. Does their ‘relationship’ still mean anything? He has to figure this out, before he hurts either of them by doing something behind her back. Something he is reluctant to do. 

Before he has a chance to reflect on the soft lips on his, she moans briefly (in irritation?) and extricates herself from his arms and moves a few paces beyond his reach. “Shepard, even though I am happy to see you, I really don’t have the time right now. I’m busy helping decode parts of the Prothean language for the crucible project. Can you come back later?” and turns back to her terminal dismissing him. 

“Liara, I’m not going away because you are busy. We have to talk about this. I thought you were going to make more time for me, for us. I want to be with you.” He flinches internally at his last statement. Does he still love her? Her removing herself the way she did from his embrace moments ago, hurt, more than he thought it would. 

“Is this about sex?” Liara says quietly not taking her eyes off her terminal. 

Damien just looks at her, dumbfounded. What? She’s accusing him of coming to see her just for sex? Not that it would be turned down (maybe?), but he suddenly feels angry. He’s stayed true to her all these years. Granted, two of the years, he was dead, but still…he’s been loyal. He’s waited for her to join with him in his crusade against the Reapers. And now that they are on the same ship; she still avoids him, still rejects him. Not knowing if he can respond without saying or doing something he would regret, he leaves and returns to his cabin. 

{{{}}}

75 minutes later a knock sounds on his door interrupting him from his musings about his situation. Before answering the door, he says, “EDI? Who’s at my door?”

EDI replies, “It is Liara, Captain. Should I tell her to come back later?”

Damien thinks quickly that even though using those exact words would be fitting since she said them to him earlier, he shakes his head knowing that he can’t stoop that low. It would be childish. “Let her in, EDI. That will be all. Thanks.”

“Logging you out, Shepard,” EDI says as the door slides open revealing Liara wringing her hands. 

“Come in, Liara.” Damien says from his seated position behind the partition on the couch, not bothering to get up.

Liara pauses after coming down the stairs when she sees Shepard sitting on the couch waiting for her. “I’m sorry. I screwed up, didn’t I?”

“It wasn’t one of your finer moments,” he says lightly, not smiling.

She grimaces and sits on the other side of the couch, across from him. 

“What can I do for you, Liara?”

“I was worried about you. Earlier, when I didn’t hear from you, I noticed that you had left.”

“I didn’t know what to say. Or maybe, there wasn’t anything ‘to’ say.”

Liara looks down at her lap and starts wringing her hands after hearing that. “I’m so sorry, Shepard. I’ve been so busy lately. Being the Shadow Broker really doesn’t leave a lot of time for relationships.” 

“So I’ve noticed. It’s not as if I have a lot of time, either, these days.”

“No, I guess not.”

Damien looks at her waiting to see if she has anything else to say. She looks up at him, “Damien…,” she says hesitantly, using his first name for the first time. “We should talk. I get the feeling that you wanted to, earlier. That, maybe you wanted to talk about ‘us,’ or the lack thereof.”

“Yes.” Damien says softly.

{{{}}}

“This isn’t working, is it? We are on the same ship again and we still don’t make time for each other. Well, not really, debriefings after missions don’t really count, I guess.”

“True.”

Liara’s eyes start to tear up. She says with great emotion in her voice, “I do love you, Damien. I always have.”

Knowing the truth finally, he says, “And, I love you too.”

Liara smiles sadly and sighs, “It’s just…we aren’t ‘in love’ with each other. There’s a difference.”

Damien looks sadly at her and nods in agreement. “Come here.” He may not be in love with her anymore, but seeing her cry makes him want to console her. 

She scooches closer to him and lays her head on his shoulder, accepting his warmth once more. His arm wraps around her and he brushes a tear from her cheek.

“I never thought that we would end this way. I know you’ve stayed true to me all these years.” She looks up at him and smiles sadly, “Even with all the possible distractions on your ship last year, you’ve been a true friend.” 

Damien smiles in return.

“Not being very knowledgeable of human customs and hearing the many rumors that humans are sexually prolific, I was worried that I might lose you that way. But, that is not you. I know that now. You wouldn’t go behind my back. Besides, I think that we just grew apart. Different priorities, I guess.”

“Liara, I never meant to hurt you.” 

Liara sighs and straightens next to him to say, “As did I.” She cups his face and kisses his cheek, “It has been amazing being with you. I never regretted a moment.”

Damien smiles at her, “Me neither.”

Liara stands up and says, “I should go,” laughing at using his phrase. 

He laughs too and follows her to his cabin door. “Liara…” and beckons to her with open arms.

She steps into him and gives him a hug. Before releasing him, she says, “By the way, Kaidan better treat you right. No more doubting you. If he does, I may just flay him alive with my mind.”

As she steps away from him, she notes his wide eyes as he stares at her. She quirks an eyebrow and simply says, “I’m a really good information broker.”

He grins sheepishly at her and nods.

“Truly Shepard, I want you to be happy. If not with me, then with someone who can appreciate how truly wonderful you are. I believe he can do that. Never take anything for granted. Tell him how you feel. Don’t waste what little time you may have left.”

Damien smiles at her fondly and says, “Thank you, Liara.”

She says tearing up again, “Don’t be a stranger either. We are friends, yes? Don’t let what has happened here make you avoid me. I’m going to take my own advice and do the same. We have too much history to be awkward around each other.”

Damien takes her hands in his and squeezes them, “Of course. I always take the advice of my friends into consideration, especially, those that could flay me alive,” he says cheekily.

She laughs, “Smartass.” 

He chuckles. 

“I’ll say goodnight then,” Liara says as she walks over to the elevator and pushes the down arrow, walking in as soon as the doors open.

He watches her depart and returns her wave just before the elevator doors close.

“Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm not really a Liara fan. However, I didn't want Damien to be a jerk and cheat on her. I absolutely hate the 'Liara I...' scene in the game if Shepard cheats on her. For this story, I wanted to end their relationship or lack thereof, mutually. Even an 109 year old Asari maiden deserves closure and honorable consideration. I figured my Shepard could give her that before he starts anything with Kaidan. So there it is...hope you like it.


	6. Attraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all the kudos. Comments are always welcome.

“Who the hell is this Jacob guy, Garrus?

Garrus looks at Kaidan as he eyes the injured ex-Cerberus operative currently being helped into the facility by Shepard. He notices that Kaidan is looking at the guy with disgust as he looks him up and down. Is Kaidan jealous of Jacob? Is he jealous of the way Shepard is holding the injured ex-operative or the attention that Jacob is giving to Shepard? He wonders to himself. “Jacob and another Cerberus defector, Miranda, were the lead operatives of the Lazarus cell that brought Shepard back to us. However, after Shepard was given the SR2, he joined us to help wipe out the Collectors last year. Why?”

Kaidan was eyeing the non-existent armor that Jacob was wearing. What the hell is that? That can’t sufficiently protect you from anything. No wonder the guy was injured. Also, he was uncomfortable with the looks the Jacob guy was giving Damien. He was looking at him in awe, or something. “Geez, what is his deal? He’s looking at Shepard like he’s a god, or something.”

“Oh, that’s what you are referring to. I thought you were jealous that Shepard was touching him and you were upset that you haven’t had enough time yet to mark your territory on him.”

“Wait…what? I’m not a dog, Garrus.”

“What’s a dog?” Garrus says confused at the reference. His visor is working overtime giving him references to a four legged Earth mammal, known as a dog.

Kaidan looks at Garrus and huffs in irritation. “Dogs are mammals on Earth that some people keep as pets. They have a tendency to mark their territory by urinating on the edges so another dog doesn’t take what is theirs. I guess it’s the scent that drives them away…uh…Oh? I guess that is something you are familiar with. Don’t Turians do the same thing with their mates?”

Garrus glowers at him, “Turians don’t urinate on their mates.” Kaidan snickers at the image. “But I think you get the reference...” Garrus raises his brow plates looking pointedly at him and then at Shepard. 

“Oh! … You mean…” Kaidan says reddening and starts to rub the back of his neck embarrassed as he looks away. At the sound of the Turian’s laughter at his expense, he looks back at his friend and says, “Humans don’t scent their mates, Garrus.”

“Maybe not, but you’re familiar with what pheromones are, yes? Yours have been permeating the air something fierce ever since we came across Jacob injured outside. You might not scent each other, but you are definitely giving off enough energy that indicates to those that may be paying attention. Your energy is saying, fuck off, he’s mine.”

Kaidan looks back at him agape at the realization that he is unconsciously giving that impression towards Damien. “Really?”

Garrus huffs out a sigh in annoyance, HUMANS! “Yes, really!” 

“Huh. So, back to my question, why is Jacob looking at Damien like that?” Kaidan says pointing at Jacob who is still hunched over in pain and being held up by Damien as they talk to a woman who seems to be in charge of the facility. 

Garrus grimaces, “Yeah, that. Jacob was always gushing about the attention that Shepard would give him during his walkthrough of the ship after every mission. It wasn’t like Shepard would go out of his way to seek Jacob out; he did that with his whole crew. You know how he is. He still does that. But Jacob thought he was special, I guess. He was a good operative and pretty sufficient with his biotics, nowhere near Shepard’s or your ability, of course, but more than anything he was annoying in his incessant fawning over Shepard. I think it’s something you humans call ‘hero worship,’ yes?”

“Oh, he is one of those…Fanboys. I get it,” Kaidan says grimacing. 

Then he and Garrus look at each other and say as one, “Conrad Verner.”

“Ugh. I always wanted to punch that asshole. I really thought Damien was going to laugh is ass off when that guy thought he could be a Spectre,” says Kaidan shaking his head at the memory. 

“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it. Last year on Ilium, we ran into him again.”

Kaidan looks up surprised, “What? What happened?”

“It was classic. You would have loved to see what Shepard did. Apparently, Conrad had bought an expensive replica of N7 armor and had traveled from space port to space port saying he was a part of Shepard’s crew trying to right the wrongs of the galaxy. He said it was something he had to do since Shepard had died on him and couldn’t do it himself.”

“You’re kidding…” Kaidan says in surprise.

“Wait…it gets better. He was in that bar in Nos Astra…Eternity, I think. Well anyway, he was trying to get the deed to the place because apparently according to his source they were a front for a red sand dealer and he needed it to take over to crack the ring.”

“What! Red sand is legal on Ilium.” 

“Exactly! Apparently, his source,” Garrus quoted the source reference, “Made up the story so they could get their hands on the deed to the bar with none the wiser, except Conrad, whom they could later get rid of.”

Kaidan raises an eyebrow, “So, what did Shepard do?”

“What do you think he did? He took over and ended up getting the weapons dealer who was Conrad’s source arrested for trying to take over. The best part of the whole ordeal was when Shepard shot him in the foot, for his irritation over Conrad’s reasoning over the N7 armor and his stupidity.” 

“What? He shot him?” Kaidan says shocked.

“It was just a flesh wound…nothing serious.”

Kaidan starts laughing and Garrus joins in. 

Shepard walks up to his laughing squad mates after finishing with Dr. Cole and Jacob. Once joining them, he quirks an eyebrow and waits for them to stop laughing. “What’s going on guys?”

Kaidan smiles at him, making his heart flip-flop in his chest. “Garrus was just telling me about the incident on Ilium with Conrad Verner.”

“Ugh…don’t remind me,” Damien rolls his eyes and shakes his head remembering the incident. 

“You really shot him?”

“Yeah, I did. He just made me so angry at just how stupid the situation was. He not only endangered himself but others unnecessarily,” Shepard grimaced. “What brought this on? Why are you talking about Conrad Verner, of all people?”

Garrus looks pointedly at Kaidan and tilts his head, silently telling him to explain. Kaidan huffs, “Uh…we were just comparing your friend Jacob to him. The looks that he was giving you when you helped him just now…fanboy,” he says by way of explanation. 

“Huh…” Damien looks back towards the stairs that led up towards the facilities control center and then back at Kaidan. 

Garrus noticing Kaidan’s reluctance to continue, helps him out. “Come on Shepard. You have to admit that Jacob was quite annoying last year. He was always hanging onto every word of yours and getting into your face whenever you were in the same room.”

Damien looks at Garrus and then at Kaidan, noticing his red cheeks. Was Kaidan embarrassed? He feels like he’s missing something of their conversation. Shrugging, he says, “Yeah, okay, you’re right Garrus. He was annoying. Just because he served in the Alliance and was at Eden Prime during the invasion, he thought he had a special connection with me. I tried to ignore his attention towards me, but there were times when I just wanted to avoid him.”

Garrus chortled, “Avoid? So, that is what you call it. After Omega, you never took him on another mission, until the Collector base. He was that annoying.”

“Laugh it up, bird brain. You know exactly why I didn’t take him on missions.”

“Hmm…let’s see…it must have been his incessant fawning over your past deeds in the Alliance, his own ego, his taste in Asari cuisine, his bravado in how fucking awesome his biotics are, his desire to share how many sit-ups he could do, his annoying habit of eating with his mouth open…should I go on?”

“Please stop…” Shepard says trying not to laugh.

Kaidan looks at both Shepard and Garrus trying not to laugh, remembering the antics of the guy that was apparently almost as annoying as Conrad Verner. And that is saying something. He adds, “What the hell type of armor was that guy wearing by the way? It’s not as if that outfit can hold up in a real firefight. I’m surprised that he didn’t get more than a graze.”

“Ha! Like you should talk, Kaidan,” Shepard looks at him shaking his head in disbelief.

“What? I never wore armor like that.”

“It was close. That light armor you wore during the missions chasing after Saren? So, totally like that. It definitely didn’t leave much to the imagination.”

Garrus’ eyes widened, did Shepard just say what I think he just said? Holy shit! Looking at Kaidan, he notes that he was blushing, I guess he did. Huh. 

Kaidan says curious and tilting his head at Shepard, “Really? So you were checking me out, then?”

Garrus’ subharmonics were amused. It seems Kaidan can dish it out, too. 

It was Damien’s turn to blush. He thought what the hell, there was no time like the present to start to pursue Kaidan, since he was now free to do so and apparently Liara knew already and seemed fine with the prospect. He grins at Kaidan and looks him up and down pausing to stare at his lips; he replies huskily, “Maybe.”

Kaidan grins smugly, “Liked what you saw?”

Damien’s eyes smolders with lust as he takes a step forward and cups Kaidan’s chin with his hand and runs his thumb over Kaidan’s bottom lip tracing the contour, “Still do,” he whispers.

Garrus coughs breaking the tense silence as his commander and squad mate stare at each other. The aroused scent between them was almost overpowering. Feeling a little like a voyeur, witnessing this obviously personal moment between them, he looks away and says, “Are we waiting on Jacob for something?”

Damien blinks and releases Kaidan’s chin, and looks over at his Turian friend. Oh, the mission, right. He shakes his head and steps back from the temptation that is Kaidan.

“Dr. Cole wanted to start getting things ready to leave the facility once we fix the weapons turrets. Jacob was going to find out what the problem was with them.” Looking back at a flushed Kaidan and an amused Garrus, he tilts his head motioning them onwards and starts walking towards the stairs. The sooner they can clear out the facility, the sooner he can get back to what just happened with Kaidan. He smirks to himself, finally, something to look forward to other than the horrors of war. Wait…not something…someone. 

{{{}}}

Kaidan was standing near the entrance to the med bay with Garrus waiting while Damien talked with Jacob as the guy was getting seen for the scratch he had taken during the firefight. He wasn’t really paying attention to their conversation because he was still focused mainly on what happened between him and Damien. Damn! The emotion in Damien’s eyes as he brushed his thumb over his lips was enough to get his libido jacked up. He still felt hot and bothered. Holy hell! After Shepard technically tucked him in after he lost it after finding out about his father, he hadn’t seen him since, until he was asked to join him on this mission. He was too embarrassed to seek him out during their 24 hour shore leave, even though all he wanted from the moment he awoke was to be around him. He had been tempted many times to join him in his cabin, just to be near him, share the same recycled air, or just to talk. But every time he made to walk towards the elevator to do just that, he talked himself out of it. He had even written many different versions of an invite to Apollo’s for lunch or dinner, but just couldn’t bring himself to send it. He was worried that Shepard didn’t want to be around him after he cried all over him. But, now, the way Damien had looked at him and flirted with him regarding his armor choice back on the SR1…maybe he does have a chance with him. His heart swelled. 

Kaidan looks up and focuses on the conversation happening in the med bay;  
…  
Jacob: “…I’m important to these people. I want a life, a family.”  
Damien: “Sure, I get that.”  
Jacob: “No, Shepard. The Normandy is your real love.”  
Damien: “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to say ‘the hell with it’ sometimes.”  
Jacob: “But you won’t. You can’t!”  
…  
Excuse me? What the fuck did he just say? How dare he say that to Damien! Kaidan clenches his fists and glares at the guy. The nerve…he looks up suddenly when Garrus shakes his shoulder trying to get his attention. “What!” he snarls.

Damien and Jacob look over at him when they hear him shout. Jacob looks confused, but Damien raises an eyebrow questioningly. Garrus shakes his head at the two of them and turns a furious Kaidan around forcefully and pulls him away from the entrance to a corner of the room. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Garrus asks a seething Kaidan as he looks at him. Blue wisps of Kaidan’s biotics are swirling out of his clenched fists. 

Kaidan looks up at his friend and snarls again, “The nerve of that guy saying those things to Damien. How he can’t have a life without the war. With…without…someone else in his life,” he grits out through his anger at wanting to beat the living shit out of the guy for saying something so blatantly idiotic. “Are you fucking kidding me? Damien deserves a personal life beyond this shit, more than anyone else, especially that fucker…”

Garrus looks at his angered friend. Wow! Kaidan’s protective instincts are showing. He has never heard Kaidan swear so much before. He must be really pissed. He laughs, which makes Kaidan glare at him and his usual tight control over his biotics slips some more as his eyes start to glow blue. Garrus calms quickly and puts a taloned hand on his shoulder, “Calm down, Kaidan, I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing at the situation.” 

“What is so fucking funny about the situation Garrus? You heard what that asshole said!”

Garrus nods and says, “You are absolutely right that Shepard deserves more. Jacob is wrong and should never have said something so insensitive, especially after what Shepard has done for the guy. I guess I was laughing because of your reaction to the situation. You were affronted because of what he said, may have hurt your mate. It brought out your protective instincts. You wanted to shield Shepard from his words.”

Kaidan’s anger instantly deflated. The blue swirls around his irises and clenched fists dissipated and he let out a loud sigh. He ran his hands over his face and looks at his friend shaking his head. “I’m so fucked, Garrus. I know he can take care of himself. Hell, he probably just ignored those comments, but all I wanted to do was beat the shit out of Jacob…”

Garrus looks down at his friend, “Kaidan…Shepard is your mate. You are in love with him. Shit like this is going to happen. Get used to it.”

Kaidan huffs out a slow breath, relieving some of his tension and grins a little, “Thanks Garrus. How is it you know so much about relationships and still single?”

Garrus laughs, “I’m a good listener. Plus, I’ve had a crush on the same woman for three years now and hope to have similar experiences like you are having, when I see her again.”

“Tali?”

Garrus drops his hand and blinks at him in surprise, “Wh …What?”

“Oh please. I may be stupid when it comes to my own love life, but I’ve known about your interest in Tali since the SR1. We all did.” Kaidan says smugly. 

It was his turn to glare at Kaidan, “What do you mean you all did? Shepard too?”

Kaidan nods at him.

“Shit! I teased him about Tali’s interest in him, too.”

“Tali is interested in Shepard? When did that happen? She used to gush about you whenever we talked.”

“Wait…What!” 

Kaidan shushed him, since it was now Garrus making a scene. 

Garrus lowers his voice, “Tali liked me?”

Kaidan raises his eyebrows and smirks at him, “I guess you are also stupid when it comes to your love life. Welcome to my world,” and laughs. 

Garrus growls and was about to retort when he notices Shepard coming towards them obviously finished with his conversation with Jacob. “Shepard’s coming.” 

Kaidan perks up and turns to watch his ‘mate’ walk over to them. Damien stops after noticing that he has their attention and motions for them to come with him as he turns back around and to walks towards the back door that leads to the roof and the transmitter. As he and Garrus walk over to join Damien, Garrus leans into Kaidan and growls, “We aren’t done with this conversation, Kaidan. And, you can suck it after that last comment.”

Kaidan laughs and rolls his eyes. Obviously, Garrus has been spending too much time around humans, since he has picked up their vernacular. ‘Suck it’ is also a favorite exclamation of a certain Commander. 

{{{}}}

“Hey…” Kaidan says looking up from his datapad. He had been trying to concentrate on writing a report on their mission to Gellix to the Council, but hadn’t gotten very far, since he couldn’t stop thinking about Damien and what had occurred between them. Then the door opened and his friend, (mate?) had come into the room and sat down next to him at the table, just as if he had summoned him himself. The word mate was really doing a number on him. He suddenly felt hot and extremely bothered in a certain area and was glad he was sitting down. 

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Ha. If you have to ask, I’m clearly out of practice. When we’ve got time…you’ll have to let me practice.”

Damien jerks his head up and stares at his friend. He wasn’t expecting that comment, but his body warmed suddenly at the idea that Kaidan was definitely okay with what transpired between them once they entered the facility on Gellix. His eyes roamed over Kaidan and paused again at his lips. He wonders what it would be like to kiss Kaidan, how he would taste. He’s been wondering about it for a while. Trying to distract himself from thinking about how other parts of Kaidan would taste, he clears his throat and says, “What are you doing hiding in here?”

Kaidan grimaces, “I needed to get away from that Jacob guy. I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him without causing serious damage, from just listening to him crow about saving ‘Commander Shepard’ when that Atlas almost killed you.”

“Yeah, well he did help…save me, I guess.”

“Fucking asshole…he pushed me aside to jump out of the shuttle after Dr. Cole ran out to get you. After you were helped inside and we took off, Garrus had to hold me back from pummeling the guy’s smirk right off of his face.”

Shepard laughs, “Wow, Kaidan. I’m impressed. I haven’t seen you this aggressive towards anyone in a long time.”

“What? I can be aggressive…” he raises one eyebrow and looks him up and down suggestively. Damien coughs and looks away. Kaidan smiles when he sees that Shepard has reddened enough for the low lights in the crew quarters to pick it up. Remembering that they may have an audience, he adds, “Besides, he deserved it. After what he said to you in the med bay about you not wanting something other than this,” he motioned around him at the Normandy, “Or someone to share a life with…I almost killed him when he said that to you.”

Shepard looks at him startled. Oh, so that was why he was angry at Jacob. He wasn’t thrilled to hear it either. He didn’t say anything at the time, but it bothered him that he wasn’t allowed to have another life outside of his job. He shakes his head, it doesn’t matter, and Jacob can’t see anyone beyond his own wants or needs. Besides, it looks like he may get the chance to prove him wrong, by the way Kaidan was looking at him. He also seemed possessive of him. He warms at the thought. 

“Hey, why don’t you come and grab some dinner with me in the mess. I’m a bit peckish. I expended a bit too much biotic energy down on that planet. You did too. I’m sure you could refuel as much as I could. That little protein bar you snarfed after the roof top fight couldn’t have been enough for you.”

“Checking up on me, Shepard?”

Shepard looks down and peaks at Kaidan through his lashes, “Maybe…” he smiles, “I was just making sure you were feeling all right. You were expending a lot of energy and I didn’t want you to have any residuals from doing so.”

“Oh, so that was why you gave me your supplements…well, thank you, but I’m actually okay. No headaches.”

“Good. But, that doesn’t mean your aren’t hungry now,” Damien says pushing a little, trying to find an excuse to spend more time with Kaidan. 

“I don’t think I can stand being around Jacob much longer than I absolutely have to, Shepard. Besides, I have to finish this report to the Council.”

“Oh, don’t let Jacob bother you. He won’t be here much longer. Joker found an Alliance crew transport passing through the next system on its way to the Citadel. We’ll be rendezvousing with them in about 2 hours. Before coming in here, I put him and Dr. Cole up in the Life Support room in the interim until they leave. And, with the Council report? Just do what I do, and tell them what they want to hear and summarize in as little detail as necessary to get the point across. Works for me…or rather I haven’t received any comments in the negative.”

“Ha! So, that’s why they grumble whenever your reports come up in the meetings I had with them, prior to joining up with you. I think they are too scared of what you would do to them if they complained.”

“Hmm…” Shepard says thoughtfully.

Kaidan looks at him and asks, “You aren’t going to change your reports, are you.”

“Nope.”

Kaidan laughs. 

“Come on, I’m hungry. Besides, I would like your company.”

“Okay, Shepard. Even ration packs are more tempting than to finish writing this damn report. I’ll get back to it later.” With that statement he stands up and follows Shepard as he turns around to walk out into the corridor. However, just as he’s about to exit the crew quarters he pauses just before the door, when he sees Damien has also paused just outside the door. He waits behind the deck plating to the side of the door, so as not to be seen by whoever has distracted Shepard. As soon as he hears Jacob’s voice, he’s glad that he didn’t show himself. There was no point to continue being in the guy’s presence when he wasn’t going to be on the ship for much longer. Thank the Spirits. He really doesn’t know how much longer he can keep control over his emotions before giving in and just attack the guy and beat the shit out of him for being such an annoying asshole. 

“Hey, Shepard…thanks for setting Dr. Cole and me up in the life support room. It’s nice to be on the Normandy again. I forgot how comfortable it was, but I didn’t think we would be sharing the closet that Thane lived in. Can’t we have a better room, like the Starboard Observation Lounge? I wanted to show Brynn the view, but it’s locked. Can you get us inside? Besides, it’s much bigger and more comfortable and doesn’t look out onto the engine room which is really loud, by the way. I can’t imagine how Thane could even deal with that noise longer than a few minutes. Also, I can’t believe the Alliance put the armory on the cargo deck; it just seemed so much more convenient near the CIC. Plus, that room had a great view, too. Maybe we could have that room again, I mean we are friends, right, I can’t believe that you would give us such a substandard room until we reach the Citadel…”

Shepard holds out a hand to interrupt Jacob from asking another question. Damn! Does that guy ever take a breath? What the fuck does he think this is, a personal transport just for him? Out of the corner of his eye he sees that Kaidan has started to emanate a blue biotic field, losing control slightly in his anger, which raises the hairs at the back of Shepard’s neck, making him back up and lay a hand on his and squeeze. He’s slightly taken aback when Kaidan’s biotic field dissipates and he entwines his fingers with his and squeezes back, indicating that he understands. He doesn’t let go of Damien’s hand though, but just holds it as he stays put, waiting for Shepard to get rid of the guy. Distracted slightly at the warm feeling emanating from their combined hands, he looks at Jacob again, trying to focus on what was said. Fuck! The feel of Kaidan’s hand in his makes him want to ignore everything else and back Kaidan into his quarters and not come out until they have figured out what this feeling was between them. 

“Shepard? You okay?” Jacob tries to look past him into the crew quarters and doesn’t see anything. He thought he felt some biotic energy, but ever since the Collector base and getting injured near his implant, he wasn’t as sensitive anymore when biotic energy was present, due to the nerve damage. 

“I’m fine, Jacob. 

“Oh, that’s good. So, about our room…”

“I’ll stop you right there. First of all, this isn’t a luxury liner and we aren’t going back to the Citadel, at this time. We have contacted an Alliance frigate in the next system that is on its way there and we’ll be meeting up with them in about two hours. I offered you the Life Support room for the interim, because I thought you may want to freshen up. Plus, it is the only room available for guests. To answer your other questions, the Starboard Observation Lounge is occupied at this time and the old armory is no longer accessible.” 

“Oh…okay.” Jacob says as he looks down clearly disappointed. Before he can ask another question, Dr. Cole walks out of their temporary room and sees Jacob talking to the Commander and joins them. 

“Oh! Commander Shepard, thank you so much for the accommodations. It’s lovely.” She suddenly yawns and blushes in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired. I think it’s because I just haven’t had a moment to myself with all the tension of trying to make sure everyone got out ok. Jacob? Can you join me? It would be nice to take a nap before we transfer to the other ship, especially since we may not have such nice quarters.”

Jacob’s whole demeanor changes and he smiles at his girlfriend and wraps one of his arms around her. “Of course, my love,” he says and looks back at Damien who hasn’t moved from the doorway to the crew quarters, “Talk to you later, Shepard.” He and Dr. Cole walk back to the Life Support room and wave goodbye right before walking inside. 

As soon as their door shuts, Damien turns around and beckons to Kaidan to exit the crew quarters. As soon as Kaidan walks out they release their hands and stare at each other. Damien smiles sheepishly, “Uh…still hungry?”

Kaidan looks at him and notes how cute he looks when he blushes. He waves in front of him and says, “Lead on, Captain.”

Damien smirks at him and shakes his head, “After you, Major.”

They laugh at each other. Damien moves off to the side and waves Kaidan forward. Mostly, so he has something to look at as they make their way to the mess hall. 

Kaidan huffs and walks ahead of Damien; they could do that all day. He really was hungry though, so kept going. As he turned the corner to walk around the partition, he notices that Shepard is looking at a particular part of his anatomy as he follows behind him. 

Just as they get to the mess counter to wait for Sgt. Walker, the mess sergeant, to notice them, Kaidan leans in to Damien and whispers “See something you like?”

Still focusing on that particular body part, Shepard jerks his head up and blinks at Kaidan and blushes, again. 

Kaidan laughs. 

Damien ignores him and orders two of the special, and turns towards the mess tables and sits in his regular spot. Kaidan sniggers and follows, sitting in the chair next to him. As he settles he slightly brushes along Damien’s side, making him jump. Hmm, curious. Is the famous Commander Shepard ticklish? Kaidan raises an eyebrow and hides a smirk…maybe he’ll get to find out for himself sometime. Just as he is about to comment again on Damien’s musings about his ass, James strolls up to them and slaps them both on the back, “Hey, mi amigos, how’s it hanging?”

“James…” Damien says with a little irritation in his tone.

James laughs and says innocently, “What?”

Shepard shakes his head in exasperation, “Never mind, it’s pointless…”

James winks at him and walks over to the mess sergeant to get his dinner. Once he orders, he walks back and sits across from them. 

Kaidan asks James, “Out on bail?”

James looks at him confused and when Kaidan points at the med bay, he laughs, “Uh yeah, Doc says I’m good to go. So, Loco, if you want me on your ground team again, I’m ready and willing.”

“Noted.”

“Loco?” Kaidan asks looking between James and Shepard.

Shepard laughs, “James has a thing for nicknames. Everyone gets one eventually.”

“Oh?”

“Even you, Major. I just haven’t been around you long enough.” James says looking at him.

“Ok. But, why Loco?”

“Seriously? He’s fucking crazy.” Shepard and James laugh. Noticing that Kaidan is glowering at him, he adds, “Hey, before you get all riled, I mean that in the highest respect.”

Damien explains, “It’s really okay, Kaidan. He’s serious. The crazier you are the more he respects you.”

“Huh.”

“So who knows what I’ll end up calling you. I’ve heard you are one of the best and your biotics are CRAZY powerful. But of course you are, since Loco wouldn’t have you on his ground team if you weren’t.”

Kaidan looks at Damien, “Is that so?”

James agrees, “Yep,” completely oblivious to the looks the two men were giving each other. 

They are interrupted when Sgt. Walker brings over all three of their plates, piled high with a large portion of the special, which is spaghetti and meatballs; and sets down an additional platter of garlic bread in the middle between them. “Thank you, Sgt., smells delicious,” Damien says. 

James smacks his lips and digs right into the big bowl of spaghetti, using one of the slices of bread as a spoon. Kaidan and Shepard laugh at the younger man’s enthusiasm for his meal and join him. It’s not the best spaghetti he’s ever eaten, but not bad considering it’s military fare. All three of them, being in the Alliance as long as they have, are used to what kind of food is provided for soldiers. However, this being the crew of the Normandy, Damien made it his priority to make sure the food provided was the best, and that included dextro foodstuffs for Garrus, too. He also made sure that his mess sergeant was skilled enough to handle not only the fine ingredients he had Steve order, but the know how to make dextro meals too. After the slop they all ate on the SR1, anything is better than that. 

“Hmm, what’s that smell?” Joker says as he hobbles around the partition and walks over to them. He leans over to see what they’re eating, “Oh, yummy. Gimme!” he exclaims as he hurries over to the mess counter to order his own plate. 

Garrus walks down the gangway from the main battery and joins Joker at the counter to order his own meal. After another few minutes, Garrus sits on the other side of Damien and Joker sits across from Kaidan, with a to-go version so he can eat it in the cockpit. 

Garrus watches James, Shepard, and Kaidan eat their portions and looking disgusted, he finally asks, “What the hell is that? Dead worms?”

Kaidan and Shepard laugh. James looks affronted, “Pfft! No Scars, not dead worms. It’s spaghetti and it’s yummy. MmmHmmmHmm.”

Garrus looks at James and grimaces at him as he continues to slurp up the noodles, “It still looks disgusting and it’s bleeding.”

James stops and gapes at him.

“Forget it, James. Garrus will never understand,” Damien says smirking at their exchange.

The mess sergeant brings over a bowl of broth still steaming with other foodstuffs floating in it and sets it in front of Garrus.

Garrus takes a long sniff of the aroma of his dish and sighs in ecstasy. Before the mess sergeant can walk away, he compliments her, “You outdid yourself on the Niala this time, Sgt. Walker. It smells amazing!”

Sgt. Walker blushes and nods her head, “Thank you, Commander,” and walks away. 

Kaidan, Shepard, and Joker, aware of what was set in front of Garrus try to keep straight faces, when James, ever curious, leans into Garrus’ bowl and takes a sniff of his own. Not sure if he likes the smell, he asks, “What type of soup is that?”

“It’s not just a soup…it’s a delicacy, from the area where I grew up on Palaven. It’s called Niala.” He takes his spoon and starts to mix up the ingredients lying on the bottom of the bowl and an eyeball pops to the surface along with all its appendages and what looks like a tongue with a sucker on the tip.

James jerks back as soon as he sees the eyeball, “What the fuck!”

Unable to keep in their laughter any longer, the rest of the occupants at the table burst out laughing. After a little while, Damien puts down his fork and wipes a stray tear from his cheek. He looks at a very bemused Garrus, “Scaring the newbies with your choice of food…I bet that never gets old.”

Garrus glares at his best friend, “What? This is a real delicacy. It may have eyeballs, but it’s delicious.”

“Come on, Garrus! Look at James. He’s turning green…” 

Garrus pauses and turns to look at James, who is holding a hand to his mouth looking at the floating eyeball with wild eyes. He starts to chuckle…”You’re right, Shep, it is fun.”

Kaidan remembers when it was him turning green looking on at Garrus as he ate this dish. Now though, it was fucking funny. However, he decides to take pity on the young Lt. He distracts him by waving a hand in front of his face, “James, maybe you should go talk to the doc or take a break.”

James looks at Kaidan with his wild eyes and nods suddenly really fast, “See you later…” and runs off. 

Everyone watches him leave and then falls over laughing, again. Garrus chortles and then starts to slurp up his soup. Even though he did order it to tease James, it really was a Palaven delicacy and he ‘was’ hungry. 

Joker averts his eyes from Garrus eating his disgusting soup and asks Damien, “So, Shepard, where’s our favorite annoying fanboy.”

Damien rolls his eyes, “Jacob is with Dr. Cole in their quarters.”

“Oh? Did he ask you for your autograph again?”

Kaidan chokes on his food, also averting his eyes from Garrus eating the eyeball soup. “What?”

Damien grimaces, “Thanks a lot, Joker, and no, he didn’t.”

“Ahhh, what a shame. Too bad he will be leaving soon. Always a pleasure when he’s around,” Joker says sarcastically. 

“Yeah, you aren’t his favorite person either. But, I will agree with you, Joker…it will be nice to have a Jacob free Normandy, again.”

Garrus and Joker look at each other agape and then look at Shepard in surprise. Garrus breaks the sudden silence, “Wow, Shepard. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say anything so negative about an ex-crew member before. I’m shocked.”

Damien looks down and shakes his head. That’s true. Normally he’s more forgiving, but the real reason he can’t wait for Jacob to leave is because of Kaidan’s reaction to him. He wants to make Kaidan happy and if getting Jacob off the Normandy does that, then so be it. Plus, to be honest, the man was extremely annoying. 

Noticing Damien’s discomfort in being called on his honesty, Kaidan exclaims, “Well, as much fun as it’s been getting to know one of your previous crew members, was there anyone else on the ship last year that was just as interesting?”

Joker laughs, “Hmm…that’s a tall order, Kaidan.”

“Why?”

Garrus and Shepard look at each other and laugh, remembering the assortment of crazy people who were recruited last year.

Joker pipes up, “Well, first of all, there was yours truly, most ‘awesomest’ pilot in the galaxy.”

Kaidan hides a smile behind his hand, “I already know that you, Garrus, Tali, and the Doc were all a part of the crew. I’ve also met the two engineers below. Anyone else?”

Joker huffs and glares at Kaidan, obviously not happy that his ‘awesomest’ comment was ignored. “Fine. Besides fanboy, we also had; a criminal, a justicar, an assassin, a tankbred baby Krogan, a mercenary, a thief, a geth, a salarian doctor, a bitch XO, and a stick up his ass Turian. Oh, wait, you already met Garrus.”

Garrus reaches across the table and steals Jokers hat for his insolence on the Turian reference.

Joker says, “Hey! Give that back!” and tries to grab it from the Turian chortling at him across the table. 

Damien lunges for the hat and grabs it out of Garrus’ outstretched hand and smashes the bill into an inverted crescent before giving it back to Joker.

Joker inspects his precious hat and glowers first at Garrus for stealing it and then at Shepard for mauling it, “You ruined it, Commander!”

“Ah, it’s in better shape than it would have been, had Garrus taken it back to the main battery. You know for sure that he would have dipped it in engine grease just because he can…”

Joker looks at Garrus in disgust and then nods at Damien, “Your right. Thanks for getting my hat back for me, Commander.” At Damien’s nod, he adds, “Your my hero,” making everyone laugh again. 

Kaidan looks at Shepard aghast, “A Geth? A fucking Geth! Really?”

Damien grimaces, “It’s a long story…”

Before Kaidan can ask about the Geth, they all pause when they hear the elevator doors open and Liara’s voice say, “Hello, Jacob, how are you doing?”

They all look at each other and as one they stand up. Joker immediately gathers up his plate, grabs a couple slices of garlic bread and mumbles, “Have to get back to the cockpit, EDI needs me.” He salutes Damien with the stolen pieces of bread and shuffles off in the opposite direction around the partition. 

Garrus stares at the retreating back of Joker and says, “Me too…have to get back to the guns. I’m sure there is something that needs calibrating…” He pauses when both Shepard and Kaidan both say ‘calibrating’ at the same time as him. He glowers at them and flips them off, mumbling, ‘assholes,’ before dropping his empty bowl off at the counter and walking back to the Main Battery. Damien and Kaidan look at each other still grinning at the response of their Turian buddy to their teasing and start gathering their empty plates to take back to Sgt. Walker. 

The loud noise of meal trays getting gathered up is what Jacob, Dr. Cole, and Liara walk into as they round the partition towards the mess. Jacob looks at the empty plates and frowns, “Hey, Shepard. Do you want to join us for a meal before we leave?”

“I’m sorry, Jacob, Dr. Cole…I have some urgent business to take care of in the CIC,” Damien says trying not to look at Liara as he lies through his teeth. She’s looking at him suspicious and then when she notes Kaidan is trying not to laugh, she looks away with her lips twitching and motions Dr. Cole to join her at the counter to order their respective meals. 

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” Jacob says disappointed, “See you later, then.” He turns and walks towards Liara and Brynn to order his food. 

Damien motions to Kaidan with his head and after they drop their trays off at the counter, they walk together towards the elevator. As they round the corner, they meet up with Joker, who has been hiding.

Damien looks at his friend with a raised eyebrow, “Joker? What are…?”

“I didn’t want to run into him again and I thought you might need a ride…uh,” looking at Kaidan, “I thought you might be going in the same direction,” Joker says off hand.

Before Damien can say anything, Kaidan interrupts, “It’s okay, Shepard. I have to finish that report, remember?”

Damien rubs the back of his neck and nods, “Sure.”

The elevator doors open and Joker and Shepard walk inside. Joker hits the up button, but holds the door open. “Hey, Kaidan! It’s great having you back onboard. I know I was rude to you at first, but it’s nice having another SR1 alum onboard to shoot the shit with.”

Kaidan looks at him in surprise, “Uh, thanks Joker. That means a lot.”

Joker looks a little sheepish and asks, “Umm…do you think you could give me some poker tips sometime. I keep losing my shirt to James.”

“Sure.”

Shepard laughs making them both look at him, “Good luck with that Kaidan. Joker has a terrible poker face.”

Joker grimaces, flips his friend off, and grumbles as he looks at the floor. 

Kaidan chuckles, “Great…I like a challenge,” and looks at Damien and winks, “See you around.”

“You bet.”

The door closes and Kaidan smiles to himself and walks back toward the crew quarters to finish his report to the Council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As you can probably tell, I'm not a Jacob fan. As far as the other stories I've read, I'm pretty sure not many are. He seems so fake. As far as using canon for inspiration, I wanted to use the Kaidan/Shepard speech in the crew quarters after the Arrae mission in a different way. Hope you liked it... :)


	7. Someone to Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is NSFW. 
> 
> This chapter is another version of the Apollo's dinner scene when your Shep can pick Kaidan as a LI. For this story, it seemed stupid to go back to the Citadel just for their dinner. So, I added parts of their conversation here. Hope you like it. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments are always welcome. Also, due to this chapter, this story is now rated Explicit. You'll understand why as you read the chapter. Enjoy!

{{ A grey haze surrounds him while a strong mist clings to him, dragging him down, as he runs through a forest of blackened and scarred trees, their limbs reaching out to him like claws trying to extinguish his light. Voices from the dead whisper to him as he stumbles through the darkness towards a light in the distance, a wisp of bright color twirling out of the dark, beckoning to him to hurry...he runs faster, his stomach in knots, his breath coming in harsh gasps as the voices around him whisper louder trying to catch him, to make him fall, to suck him back into their grasp once again… 

‘…Shepard…’ 

‘…It’s seems there will be no one to morn me when I die…you’re the only friend I’ve made in ten years…’ 

‘…Shepard, excellent timing, good to have you here…’ 

‘…Now go back and get the Lieutenant, and get the hell out of here! You know it’s the right choice…’ 

‘…Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness…’ 

‘…Someone else might have gotten it wrong…’

‘…Shepard…’ 

His heart aches at the voices surrounding him; Ashley, Mordin, and Thane. Friends who had died for the cause…for him…friends he couldn’t save. The voices start to swirl around him darkening his vision as he nears the clearing where the light swirls around a figure reaching out to him. As he comes upon the figure he stumbles and falls to his knees to catch his breath. Looking up, he sees that the figure is Kaidan and he is reaching out to him in the darkness. With longing…his heart in his throat, he tries to grasp Kaidan’s hand, when suddenly a beam of red light slices right thru him and engulfs Kaidan in flames…KAIDAN! }} 

{{{{}}} 

Damien jerks up gasping in bed, tears on his cheeks, as the last glimpses of his nightmare slowly fades from his mind swallowing the images of Kaidan screaming in terror and pain. He clutches his chest and winces as his heart clenches at the thought of losing another friend. No, that isn’t right, not just another friend, someone he is starting to think he can’t live without. 

Holding his head in his hands, he tries to shake the horrible imagery out of his head. He unwraps himself from the twisted sheets and blankets from around him and gets out of bed to walk to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower can help dissipate the horrors within his mind. 

He takes his time letting the hot water stream down his body, washing away his tension and leans against the wall staring at nothing. Making a sudden decision, he turns the water off and dries himself off, before wrapping the towel around his waist. He walks down the short flight of stairs and sits at the edge of his rumpled bed. He powers on his omni-tool and sends a request to chat with the only person he can think might be able to cheer him up.

Inter-ship Text Chat

From: Captain Shepard

To: Major Alenko

>>

23:14 D: You awake?

23:17 D: Shit. Just realized that it’s late.

23:19 D: Never mind. Sorry to bother you.

23:23 K: Damien? You still there?

23:24 D: Yes. Did I wake you?

23:25 K: No. Just got back from taking a shower…You okay?

23:27 D: To be honest? No.

23:28 K: What’s wrong?

23:30 D: Shit. Sorry, this was stupid. I shouldn’t have bothered you.

23:31 K: You’re not bothering me. 

23:34 K: What’s going on?

23:37 K: Damien?

23:42 D: Do you still have that whiskey?

23:43 K: Yes.

23:44 D: Would you like to have a drink with me?

23:45 K: Sure. Where?

23:47 D: Come up to my cabin. Deck 1. 

23:48 K: Be there in a few…

User has disconnected

Promptly a few minutes later, his door chimes. Because he had asked EDI to switch to silent mode earlier before going to bed, he walks over to the door himself and swats the open button. Kaidan dressed in Alliance blue sweats and a hoodie stood on the other side with the Peruvian whiskey bottle in his hand. He moves to the side and gestures for Kaidan to enter. 

Kaidan doesn’t move a muscle. He was floored at the sight of Damien standing in front of him, dressed only in a towel wrapped around his waist. Holy Shit, the man is gorgeous! He remembers recently thinking the man looked different, more muscle tone. Man, was he right. Damien was all hard and defined muscle standing in front of him. He suddenly is glad that he decided to dress down for the occasion, by wearing his loose Alliance sweatpants. He starts to feel hot and bothered; his cock swelling with arousal as he unconsciously lets his eyes roam over the beautiful sight that is Damien. Looking at him suddenly dry mouthed, his eyes eat up the miles of creamy hairless chest, noting a few scars that he wants to lick, before running his eyes down his toned abs to the trail of hair that just peaks out of the top of his towel below his navel. 

Damien blinks at his friend as Kaidan ignores his gesture and stares at him. Seeing desire spring in his friend’s eyes he looks down at himself and suddenly realizes that he’s still wearing a towel, completely forgetting that he hadn’t changed back into his sweats after his shower earlier. “Shit. Sorry, Kaidan. Let me change…Make yourself at home,” he says turning around and walking into his bathroom to change back into his sweats. 

Kaidan blinks and tries to shake the fog of lust out of his brain and chokes when he sees that Damien has a tattoo on his shoulder blade of the Alliance logo. He wonders suddenly if the man has other tattoos hidden beneath the towel. He walks into Damien’s cabin and is instantly amazed at the size. Wow! He’ll say one thing for Cerberus; they sure know how to build a ship. The loft as Deck 1 is known as is large for a Captain’s cabin. Trying to distract himself further, he stops and stares at the large fish tank. Fish…tank? What? He notes the different types of fish swimming around and blinks when he sees jellyfish. He is startled suddenly, when Damien comes up behind him and leans against the bulkhead next to the fish tank, as he gapes at the sight. 

Kaidan looks at Damien noting that he is wearing an N7 logo sweatpants and hoodie set and is looking at him in amusement. What a pair they make. He in Alliance blue and Damien in N7 black. They look good together even in casual wear. Tearing his eyes away from the temptation that is Damien once again, he says, “You have a fish tank in your quarters? Uh…” and shakes his head, completely at a loss for words.

Damien chuckles making Kaidan shiver listening to his deep husky voice, “Yeah that was my reaction when I first boarded the SR2. I’m used to it now. It’s actually kind of soothing.” 

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Kaidan says turning away from staring at how Damien fills out his sweatpants and walks over to check out the desk space and shelving units next to the bathroom. He pauses when he notices movement in a glass cage on the first shelf. He looks at Damien, surprised once again, “You have a hamster?”

“Yeah, meet Tet.”

“Tet?”

“Short for Bosh’Tet.”

Kaidan laughs, “You named your hamster a Quarian swear word?”

Damien reddens, “Sort of. Tali named him.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I think her exact words were, ‘This little Bosh’Tet bit me!’ We were on shore leave at the Citadel and Garrus and I were at the kiosk in one of the specialty shops in the Zakera ward arguing over a particular rifle mod when we heard Tali exclaim that in a loud voice. She had wandered over to the hamster cages and was trying to coax one of them out, by cooing at him. It was the funniest thing, I’ve ever seen.”

“So you bought the hamster and named it Tet?”

“Yeah, I did.”

Kaidan laughs and shakes his head, “Remind me never to let you name anything, ever again.”

Damien gapes at him, “What? Tali loves the guy, would always come up here and play with him.”

“Be that as it may, naming your hamster ‘Bosh’Tet’ is horrible.”

“He likes it. Don’t you, Tet?” Damien says as he walks over to the cage and chitters at the little guy through the glass. Tet comes out of his shelter within his cage and wrinkles his little nose at Damien when he baby talks at him scratching his finger on the glass. 

Kaidan gapes at the big badass muscle bound hero, baby talking to a hamster. Wow, he thought he’d seen everything. Obviously not! He starts to laugh and laughs louder when Damien turns towards him and glares at his insolence. Kaidan moves off to the side when Damien determinedly comes over to him and shoves him a little in gest before grabbing the whiskey bottle still in his hand and bounds down the steps to walk over to sit on the couch. 

{{{}}}

Shepard pours each of them a few fingers of the whiskey before settling into the couch and putting his feet up on the coffee table. Kaidan had followed him down and around the glass partition and after taking the tumbler of amber liquid offered to him he settles into the comfortable couch a few feet separating him from his friend. Taking a couple of sips letting the liquor do its thing in relaxing him, he watches his friend sigh out a long breath before leaning his head back against the back of the couch. Folding his arms in front of him, he waits for Damien to talk.

Damien cracks an eye and looks at him turning his head, “Mmm, good whiskey. You always did have great taste in liquor.”

Kaidan grins, “It’s the company one keeps while drinking the whiskey that is the best part.”

“True. I’m glad I had the foresight to contact you.”

“I’m glad you did.” 

Damien rubs a hand over his face and peeks over at him, “I needed cheering up and knew you were the right person for the job.”

“Oh? Happy to help. That’s what friends are for, right? I’ll always be here for you, Damien.”

Shepard frowns at the ‘friend’ reference and hides his disappointment before noticing that Kaidan is also looking a little troubled. “What is it?”

“Uh…I just thought that you would contact someone else first. Not that I’m complaining.”

“Who would I contact first?” Shepard says confused. 

“Oh…ah…I just thought…um…you know…Liara? Aren’t you two…?” Kaidan says stumbling over his words and flushing with embarrassment.

Damien sits up pulling his feet off the coffee table and looks at his friend. Liara? So, that is why Kaidan is confused. He thinks that he and Liara are still together. His heart starts to beat faster, hope filling him that Kaidan may want more than good friends, but is hesitant because he thinks that he is taken already.

“No. Liara and I are not together. Not anymore. We broke up a few days ago.”

“Oh. I’m sorry Damien.”

“It’s okay, really.”

“You don’t need to tell me.”

“No. I want to.”

“Ok.”

“You know we were together on the SR1, right?” He says looking over at Kaidan, curious at his reaction.

Kaidan nods looking a little wistful, “Yeah.”

“Well, that is the last time we were together, if you know what I mean.”

Kaidan perks up and looks at him surprised. What? How could Liara keep her hands off of him? What the hell is wrong with her? Crap! Focus, Kaidan! Trying to hide his shock, he asks, “Uh…what happened?”

Damien sighs, “We just grew a part, I think. After I died, she changed. I really can’t blame her. I guess a lot changed while I was gone.”

Kaidan nods and looks down, staring at the floor not really looking at anything. He whispers, “Everything changed. Life without you in it…was not pleasant.”

Damien put a hand on Kaidan’s shoulder squeezing it gently before dropping his hand, “I’m so sorry, Kaidan.”

Kaidan looks up into Damien’s pure green eyes, “Why are you sorry? It’s not as if you could have stopped it from happening.”

“True. But, I’m sorry that you had to go through that type of pain. Losing a friend or someone close to you hurts. I know…” he pauses and leans on his knees with his elbows staring down, unconsciously duplicating Kaidan’s last pose. 

“Are you okay?”

Damien takes another sip of the whiskey and sighs, “I’m just thinking about those I’ve lost in all this…and others that I don’t know if I’ve lost.”

“You mean like Tali?”

Damien nods at him. “She’s one of them. I haven’t heard from her. I have no idea if she’s okay. She’s like a little sister to me. It’s not just her though…I’ve been thinking about my Mom.”

Kaidan jerks his head up and exclaims, “Oh Shit! Aww, I’m such a horrible friend. I never asked you about your Mom. I’m so sorry…burdening you with my problems after learning about my father, and you not knowing about your own family?” He shakes his head and runs his hands over his face in disgust for not even thinking about Hannah Shepard.

“Kaidan,” Damien says as he scoots towards his friend until they are sitting side by side, “Hey…” he bumps his shoulder with his own. “You never burdened me with your problems. That’s what friends do, right, be there for you when you need them. And, at the time, you needed me. Don’t worry about my Mother. She’s scrappy and knows how to survive through difficult situations. She is a Shepard, remember?”

Kaidan looks over at him and nods, not trusting himself to speak. Not because he was an idiot for not asking his friend about his mother, but because he was sitting so close. All he had to do was reach out and touch him, to kiss him…Trying to distract himself from wanting to find out what Damien looks like naked, he leans back and tries to relax, grabbing his glass from the table to drink another gulp of the fiery liquid. 

Damien finishes his glass of whiskey and pours another round to both of them. Setting the almost empty bottle back on the table, he leans back and drapes an arm across the back of the couch unconsciously letting his thumb rub circles along Kaidan’s shoulder making him shiver at the contact. 

Kaidan takes a gulp of the whiskey, gasping slightly as it burns down his throat and settles his hand holding the tumbler over his hardening cock, trying to hide the sight from Damien. Unable to think of anything more intelligent to say since he’s not really thinking with the right brain, he says, “I like your tattoo.”

Damien laughs, “Oh you saw that, did you?”

“Do you have more?”

Damien looks at Kaidan and notices that he’s blushing. Curious to why he was asking, he says, “I used to.”

Kaidan raises an eyebrow, “Oh? What did you have?”

Damien laughs, “Right after boot, I had ‘Hoo-rah!” tattooed on my bicep. My squad all got the same one, thinking we were cool, I guess. It was stupid. Later, after Elysium, I got the Alliance logo tat on one shoulder and after N7 training; I got an N7 tat on the other. That’s all. Not very original,” he shrugs. 

“So, what do you mean you used to? You had them removed?”

“No. When Cerberus rebuilt me, they had to regrow new skin. So, all my scars from battle and tattoos were gone. After I awoke and found this out, I decided to re-tattoo myself with what was most important.”

Kaidan runs his eyes over him again and asks, “So, the Alliance logo was most important to you? I thought you loved being an N7.”

“I do. But, I was always an Alliance officer, first. Even during my tenure with Cerberus. That tattoo reminded me of that. It’s only been recent since I started thinking about the N7 distinction again. I think it was James who reminded me of that, especially, after getting his own recommendation for the training. Maybe after all of this, I’ll get another tattoo of it. But, to answer your question, I have one other …” he pauses staring into Kaidan’s amber eyes, the color of the whiskey in his glass. Almost drowning in them, he whispers, “And that one means the most to me.” He looks away and clears his throat, settling back into the couch and crossing one leg over his other knee. 

Kaidan asks, “What is it of?”

Damien licks his lips thinking about the design on his hipbone. It was Kaidan’s service number in the design of their dog tags. “I’ll show you sometime. What about you? Do you have any tats?”

“Only one…Got it about three years ago.” 

“Not sharing?”

Kaidan looks up at those mesmerizing green eyes again, and shakes his head, “Someday.”

Damien nods understanding.

{{{}}}

Kaidan looks at Damien as he relaxes sitting right beside him. His arm is still draped on top of the couch behind him and he is still at times rubbing his thumb over his shoulder in a gentle caress. Enough is enough. He is about to burst with nervous energy, not knowing if this thing between them is just hormones or if it is something infinitely more than that. Finally having the nerve to find out, he says, “I’m glad we have taken the time to do this. To talk. I needed a sanity check.”

Damien laughs…Sanity check? That is definitely the right phrase for their situation. “Things have been pretty crazy.”

Kaidan turns towards Damien, one knee touching his, he gets down to the brass tacks of the conversation. No time like the present. You never know what tomorrow might bring in their hectic life. He can’t go another day without knowing if Damien feels the same way that he does for him. He jumps in with both feet, so to speak. “You know my life flashed in front of my eyes on Mars and…there weren’t enough moments like this, with people I care about.”

“How are you feeling these days?”

Kaidan braces his arm facing the back of the couch against it and lays his hand on Damien’s bicep, “I’m feeling up to whatever the Reapers throw at me, and grateful that I could help you sit down for a half a second and relax.” 

Damien smiles at him.

“You know what though? I feel good about our chances.”

Damien eyes widen looking at him, “Yeah?”

“Yeah…lets me sleep better at night.”

Damien sits up, uncrossing his legs. He leaves his one arm trapped under Kaidan’s hand, enjoying the warmth, and puts his other on his friend’s knee and squeezes, “You aren’t sleeping, Kaidan?”

“Maybe a little restless…it’s just you plan a career, you focus, and then suddenly the world’s ending and it’s too late to uh…find someone.”

“Someone?” Damien says, his eyes lowering to watch Kaidan form words with his luscious mouth. 

“We’ve been friends a long time, Damien. Have you ever known me to be with anyone? I guess it’s because I’m just choosy, or patient, or…I don’t know…Maybe what I’ve never found or what I want, is something deeper with someone that I already care about.” He sighs, “That’s what I want.” He looks down and then sneaks a peak at Damien through his eyelashes. “What do you want?”

Damien looks away from Kaidan’s mouth and after processing what Kaidan said, he stares into his eyes, “You and me, is that what you are saying, Kaidan?”

“It feels right, doesn’t it?”

Damien’s heart bursts in his chest. Holy shit! He warms all over when he sees the amount of emotion in Kaidan’s gaze. He smiles and says, “It would be nice to have someone to turn to when things get grim. Someone to live for…maybe love…” 

Kaidan grins and asks, “Someone?”

Damien cups his chin and runs his thumb over Kaidan’s bottom lip again. Looking up into his eyes, he says, “You, Kaidan.” He brushes the back of his hand along Kaidan’s stubble enjoying the roughness and pulls him closer, a hairbreadth away from his lips and whispers, “It does. It does feel right. After all this time…huh…you and me…I like that…a lot.”

Kaidan smiles with his heart in his eyes, “And that makes me so happy.” After dropping his gaze to pull back a little so he can run his own hand across Damien’s goatee, he looks back into his eyes and says suggestively, “And, there are benefits to that happiness.”

Damien quirks a brow and says huskily, “Really?”

Kaidan nods and says, “Yes, really,” and pulls him forward to kiss him. He starts out gentle, exploring the contour of Damien’s lips first. Moaning, he runs his tongue along the seam of Damien’s mouth and growls when Damien opens his to tangle his tongue with his. Tasting some of the whiskey in his mouth; he groans again forgetting to keep it gentle as his desire for the man takes over. He grabs him about the neck and pulls him against his chest as he continues to ravage him with his lips and tongue. 

Damien, enjoying himself immensely, turns the tide on Kaidan as he runs his hands into his salt and pepper hair, making him gasp and moan at the new sensation against his scalp. Breaking their kiss briefly to gasp for air, Damien turns Kaidan’s head to the side and continues to kiss and lick across his jaw and over to his ear to suck and nibble upon his earlobe, making the man moan in ecstasy. He tilts his head the other direction and nibbles his way down his neck, pausing to suck on Kaidan’s pulse point. 

“Oh, Gods! Damien, that feels so good,” Kaidan breathes, gasping at the sensation. 

Damien chuckles but stills when Kaidan’s hand finds his way under his shirt to brush across his nipples, making him shiver. He jumps and jerks away from Kaidan, adding a few feet of space between them. 

Kaidan looks at Damien, shocked at making him respond that way, “Damien? Are you okay?”

Damien blushes and lowers his head, “I’m sorry, Kaidan. I didn’t mean to pull away so suddenly. Shit!” and buries his head into his hands.

Kaidan straightens himself and tries to hide his erection by leaning his elbows on his knees. “Uh…should I go?” It would be damn hard, pun not intended, to leave Damien, but maybe it was best if he did. He didn’t know what he did, but he didn’t want to ruin any chance of taking their relationship any further.

Damien looks up at him and says, “No. Don’t go.”

“What…?”

Damien puts out a hand, making Kaidan pause. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to have that reaction. Everything felt so amazing. It’s just…it’s been so long since anyone has touched me that way. You’ve overloaded my senses, Kaidan. It’s probably my new skin and the cybernetics. Even just that little touch was enough to almost make me come,” He says flushing a deep red. 

Kaidan gapes at him, surprised. So, it was the pleasure that made him pull away. Interesting…he chuckles, making Damien look at him with suspicion. “Hmm, that sounds almost like a challenge.”

Damien narrows his eyes at the aggressive man in front of him, looking at him as if he’s something he wants to devour. He shakes his head remembering that he said earlier that day that Kaidan wasn’t aggressive. Holy hell was he wrong. He says, “Wait. There is something you should know.”

Kaidan grins and decreases the space between them, giving Damien a predatory smirk, looking him up and down, “Hmm?”

Damien looks down and peeks at him sheepishly, “I’ve never been with a man before.”

Kaidan stops his pursuit. He notes Damien’s reddened cheeks and sighs to let out some of the raging lust he has for the man in front of him. Ok, that changes things a bit. It doesn’t matter, he can wait. He’ll wait a life time if he needs to, just to be near Damien. And, that is enough. He’ll have to take cold showers for a while, but it will be worth it. He backs up and folds his arms in front of him to relax, giving Damien the space. Let him make the move. 

{{{}}}

Taking in Kaidan’s relaxed posture and open expression, he relaxes a little. He didn’t like the space between them but was happy that Kaidan had backed off when he finally got out the words that he should have said a long time ago. Feeling suddenly empty at not having Kaidan’s warmth next to him, those few feet suddenly feeling like a chasm between them, he makes a quick decision and suddenly stands up, making Kaidan gasp and look away. He smirks, even though he may not have much experience with men, not yet anyway, he knows that when he stood up he was standing ‘up’ in all his glory. He isn’t one to brag, but he was aware that he is what women call ‘well endowed.’ Walking over to his bed, he straightens the covers and tosses Kaidan a smirk when he looks at him and takes his hoodie and sweatpants off. Pulling the covers on his side down he pauses to wait for Kaidan to look back up at him after running his eyes over his body and pulls his shirt off, leaving just his boxer briefs on. He sits and props himself up against the pillows at the head of the bed, covers his lower half with the sheet and pulls down the covers on the other side, beckoning to Kaidan, who has raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Stay the night, Kaidan. I don’t know if I can do much more than sleep with you tonight, but I would like to wake up with you here.”

As soon as Damien said ‘stay’ he stood up as well and started to disrobe. He also removes his hoodie and pauses to take off his shirt in front of Damien. Damien has seen him half undressed before, they both have actually; working out, disrobing to put on armor, when he was in the hospital, etc. but not in this context before. He walks over to the other side of the bed, his side apparently, and takes his shirt off. Shepard gasps and his erection becomes rock hard when he runs his eyes over Kaidan’s defined chest and abs. He suddenly feels the urge to run his tongue over every contour, every scar, and every inch of the man in front of him. Kaidan chuckles and Damien’s skin pebbles in goosebumps just from listening to that husky voice. He groans and shuts his eyes. Kaidan goes to all fours and arranges the pillows so he can sit like Damien, leaning back against them. Once he arranges himself accordingly he sees Damien look down at his covered legs and back to his face, “What?”

“Sweatpants?”

Kaidan grins wickedly, “I’m going commando and didn’t want you to come at the sight of me.”

Damien groans and buries his head in his hands. 

Kaidan laughs.

“You are a naughty man, Kaidan.”

“You have no idea.”

“Oh…fuck me!” he whispers moaning at the thought of how Kaidan might act when in bed for something other than sleep.

“That wasn’t my intention when dressing after my shower, but I’m game whenever you are.”

Damien groans again and slinks down into the bed…and turns on his side facing Kaidan. “You are trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

Kaidan looks down at his friend, uh…boyfriend…and smiles a beautiful smile, “Only with pleasure, babe.”

Damien groans in pain this time, his cock leaking pre-cum into his briefs and opens his eyes to stare back at Kaidan. Before he can say anything, he notices the image of numbers tattooed in a vertical line on Kaidan’s side from his waist to his armpit. He sits up suddenly and leans over him to look more closely. 

Kaidan groans, oh yeah, he forgot about that. He shivers slightly when Damien runs his fingers over his side, running them from one end to the other. Damien looks up into Kaidan’s eyes and says, “This is ‘my’ service number.”

“Yes.”

Still running his fingers over the tattoo, he waits for Kaidan to give an explanation.

Kaidan looks serious for a minute and extricates himself from Damien’s exploration. Sighing, he says, “Let’s just say that I’ve had a crush on you for a long time. I’ve wanted to be with you from the very moment I met you, Damien. Losing you to Liara hurt, but I was content to just be friends with you. Having you in my life, even that way, was enough. However, when you died, I lost everything. It almost killed me. It changed me in a million different ways especially because I never got to tell you how I felt about you. I got the tattoo of your service number in remembrance of what you meant to me. It’s not something that I take lightly. I can’t explain it…it’s almost like what happened to me on Mars. I got a new perspective on life, given a second chance. These last couple months since then, seeing you again, has been the best of my life.”

Damien wraps his arms around him and they hold each other. “Thank you,” he whispers to the wonderful man in his arms. He pulls away and cups Kaidan’s cheek and kisses him on the lips. Pulling away he lays his forehead on Kaidan’s. Deciding that this is the best time to be honest himself, he says, “I’ve also had a crush on you since I met you. It was different for me, because I also had fallen for Liara. Don’t get me wrong, I did love her. Actually, I still do, in fact.” When Kaidan tries to pull away at that admission, he stalls his movement when he says, “Wait, and hear me out. I might love Liara, but I’m not ‘in love’ with her. That’s the reason we broke up. Plus, she recognized that I wasn’t hers anymore. I’m yours. And, I hope that you are mine.”

Kaidan pulls away a few inches to look into Damien’s eyes and gasps at seeing several emotions all at once; honesty, hope, desire, lust, and what can only be love. “Are you saying that you love me, Damien?”

“I am…and maybe it’s too soon, but I can’t deny what I feel for you anymore. Life is too short. Trust me, I know. I don’t want to wait another day without telling you how I feel for you. You are everything to me. You have been for a long time. It’s funny and a little ironic, but maybe it validates that we are made for each other…because I also have your service number tattooed on my body. It was the one tattoo that meant the most to me after I woke up.”

Damien looks at Kaidan, his eyes shut as he listens to him. He holds his breath, waiting to see if he just ruined whatever this was between them. He should have kept his mouth shut. It was too soon. 

Kaidan looks up at him, tears in his eyes, “I love you, too.”

Damien laughs and pulls the love of his life into his arms and kisses the daylights out of him. They moan in unison as they ravage their mouths and entangle their tongues, Kaidan pulls back gasping for breath and lays his head on Damien’s shoulder. “We have to stop. I don’t know if I can hold back if we continue. I’m sorry. I can wait…it’s just…extremely difficult to pull back, you are that tempting.”

Damien smiles and understands that he is torturing Kaidan. He’s feeling the stress of it as well. However, he can’t drop the feeling that he had earlier. Sighing…maybe they can move into the physical side of their relationship slowly. It will be torture for both of them, but he can’t rush into this and possibly regret it later. He can’t do that to Kaidan.

“Turn around, let’s spoon.” He slinks down further into the mattress and waits for Kaidan to turn around. Being the slightly bigger man, he automatically assumes the position of the larger spoon and drapes his arm over Kaidan as he slides into his arms and presses himself into his body. 

“Shit. Maybe that wasn’t such a great idea…” Shepard says as Kaidan wiggles his ass against his aching cock. He arches his back, moving his cock away from Kaidan slightly to relieve some of the tension. 

Kaidan chuckles, “Oops, sorry…” 

“Yeah, right. You did that on purpose.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about…”

Damien laughs, “I can see you are going to be quite the handful.”

Kaidan twists over and leans on his elbow looking down at him, “Really Damien?”

“What?” Thinking about what he said... “Shit! That wasn’t what I meant.”

“Uh huh.”

They look at each other and start laughing. 

Kaidan turns back over and lies still, waiting for Shepard to make his move. 

What the hell. Let’s try what had popped into his head when Kaidan rubbed his ass against him. He slowly presses himself against Kaidan’s ass, pillowing himself between his cheeks. He starts to grind against him and groans a bit. Not quite getting the friction he desires, he pauses. 

Kaidan in the meantime has been biting the inside of his cheek, trying to let Damien lead. 

Feeling a little bold, he kisses Kaidan’s neck and whispers, “Take your sweatpants off.” He wants to feel Kaidan’s ass without the clothes between them. 

Kaidan stills, “Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything, tonight.”

Damien tweaks Kaidan’s nipple making him yip and then moan in pleasure at the slight pain. “I’m sure. I want to know what you feel like without clothes between us.” 

Kaidan sits up and takes his sweatpants off under the covers and lays back down. One thing at a time. Seeing him completely naked right now might be too much for Damien to take, but under the covers, that’s a whole different thing. 

Damien in the meantime was thinking the same thing, in reverse, knowing that seeing Kaidan in all his glory might be too much, he turns around and also takes off his briefs under the covers. Turning back around, he sees Kaidan waiting for him in the same position he was in before he removed his sweatpants. He slides back into the center of the bed and presses his body up against him. Oh, Gods! Damien almost comes right there, the feeling of Kaidan’s creamy skin against his. He moans and buries his head in the nook of Kaidan’s neck, taking quick breaths, trying hard not to lose it. 

Kaidan is also feeling the sensations of being next to Damien’s warm body. Holy hell! This was a bad idea. He whimpers trying to keep it together. 

Fuck it! Damien loses control and starts grinding his cock into the pillow of Kaidan’s ass…sliding up and down from balls to tip, slowly, feeling every sensation as he glides over him, using his pre-cum as lubricant. He slides his hand down Kaidan’s chest to his cock and slides his hand over him, loving him like he would love himself. He groans as he nips and sucks on Kaidan’s neck loving the feel of him in his arms. 

Kaidan in turn starts groaning loudly intermittently whimpering at the abundance of sensations; Damien’s cock between his ass cheeks, his hand on his cock, and his kissing on his sensitive neck. Just at the verge of a shattering orgasm, he loses control of his biotics and glows blue, which in turn sparks Damien’s biotics. The combined pulses of biotic energy between them quickly makes them see stars as they shatter at the same time. 

Kaidan lifts his head to meet Damien behind him and kisses him. Damien pulls back and whispers in his ear, “I love you.”

Kaidan whispers it back and smiles. He slowly moves onto all fours and says, “I’ll be right back,” and kisses Damien before jumping out of bed and hurrying over to the bathroom. 

Damien had stilled as soon as Kaidan jumps out of bed and his eyes follows him as he walks over to the bathroom. The glory that is a naked Kaidan was a sight he hopes to see again and again. Holy Shit, that man was beautiful. He shifts in bed and brings a finger up to his mouth and gives a tentative lick. Mmm, Oh Gods, Kaidan tastes amazing. He’s only ever tasted himself, curious about what he might taste like. Do all guys do that? Doesn’t matter, he suddenly feels cocky that he’ll be able to get up close and personal as many times as he wants. He continues to lick the cum off his hand, enjoying every drop.

“Are you licking my cum off of your hand, Damien?” Kaidan says starring at him through the glass partition after coming out of the bathroom with a towel, wiping off his back and stomach. 

“HmmMmm…Yummy.”

“That is probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed anyone do, ever.”

Damien smirks at him and loves the idea that he can turn his boyfriend on at any time, “Come here,” he says.

Kaidan walks up to the bed completely hard and aching as he watches Damien lick his cum off his fingers. He starts to stroke himself, completely turned on for another round. Whatever Damien is game for, he’s ready. Shepard finishes licking his fingers and stretches, kicking the covers off, giving Kaidan an eye full, as his cock has fully hardened and is aching again after watching Kaidan walk around naked. 

Kaidan gasps and eyes Damien’s cock. He is so beautiful. He moans and bites his bottom lip wanting to lick every inch of him. He guesses that Damien is about 9 inches in length…and Oh Gods, pretty thick too. He’s had bigger, but Holy Hell, he can’t wait until Damien is ready to go all the way. Seeing him relaxed and comfortable enough to be naked in front of him bodes well that he will be ready soon. 

“So, what would you like to do now?” Kaidan says, arching an eyebrow at him as he continues to stroke his cock. 

Damien looks him over, pausing as he watches him stroke himself and asks tentatively, “I take it that you like to bottom?”

Kaidan smirks, “I can ‘top’ too. Doesn’t matter to me, I can do either. Whatever you are comfortable with, Damien. I just want to be with you. I would be happy with just cuddling…anything to be here in your arms.”

Damien gestures for him to lie down next to him. Once Kaidan comes closer he grabs him and kisses him desperately again. They groan and fall onto the mattress with Kaidan on top of Damien and they wrap their limbs around each other while they kiss. Coming up for air, Damien blushes and says, “I don’t have any lube.”

Kaidan looks down at Damien and strokes his face. “I do, but I don’t think you are ready for that yet.”

Damien stills and nods at him. “Sorry…”

Kaidan interrupts him by placing a finger on his lips, “Don’t ever be sorry for that, Damien. We have the rest of our lives if we want. We’ll get there eventually. I don’t want to rush you. Take your time. There are other things we can do.”

“Oh?”

Kaidan looks at him suggestively and grinds his cock against his.

Damien gasps at the sensation of their cocks sliding together. He counters Kaidan’s thrusts with his own, making Kaidan gasp in return. 

Breathless, Kaidan whispers in his ear, making Damien shiver, “For a newbie, you learn fast.”

Damien chuckles and uses Kaidan’s own words from earlier, “You have no idea.”

Using his biotics to lift Kaidan further up the bed so his back and head is cushioned, he settles between his legs and proceeds to kiss and lick his chest, making him mewl out his need for him. He makes his way down Kaidan’s magnificent body and pauses at his groin as he takes in the beauty that is his cock. He’s not as long and thick as he is, but he’s absolutely perfect. His mouth waters looking over his 7 inches of silky length, leaking pre-cum in anticipation for whatever Damien wants to do to him. Licking his lips and looking up at his lover, he leans over and licks him from root to tip, stopping to nibble on his head, using his pre-cum to help lube his length. Kaidan moan, long and loud, “Suck me, Damien. Swallow me whole…please,” he begs grabbing fistfuls of the bedding on either side of him. 

Damien grins wickedly, “As my Major commands,” and swallows him all the way to the hilt. Kaidan yells out and grabs his neck and fucks himself into Damien’s hot mouth. Between the two of them, they set a rhythm and just before Kaidan loses all control, Shepard withdraws his mouth, making Kaidan shout in disappointment. This feeling is short-lived when Damien licks and sucks his balls gently and continues southward to his perineum. Kaidan stills suddenly and lets out a loud moan, almost losing it when Damien shocks the hell out of him by spreading his cheeks and rimming him with his hot mouth and tongue. Oh Fuck!

Pulling back again before Kaidan can orgasm, Damien shocks him again when he takes a spit lubed finger and slides it into his ass making his sensitive nerves scream in pleasure. Oh Shit, the sensation of that finger in his ass. Then Damien returns his hot mouth to his cock again and swallows him, starting another volley of using his mouth and tongue up and down his shaft, all the while fingering him. Damien notices that Kaidan is all but screaming his desire for him and quirks his finger into his prostate to heighten Kaidan’s pleasure even more and sees him lose that last shred of his control and orgasms into his mouth, releasing a biotic surge that makes the whole room glow for a few seconds before losing consciousness from the amount of pleasure that Damien has inflicted upon him.

Noticing that Kaidan has done this, he chuckles and removes his finger from his ass. He makes sure all of Kaidan’s cum is cleaned up with his mouth, since his very taste is heaven on earth and jumps up to grab a hot hand towel from the bathroom before he returns to his slumbering boyfriend. He quickly cleans him up and himself before tidying up the bed and other towels off the floor before lying down next to him and gathering him into his arms. Wow. He would never have known that they could be so explosive together, but he should have guessed it. This chemistry that they had, starting from the instant they saw each other, those four long years ago, should have prepared him for this night alone. He smirks. He is the luckiest bastard in the whole universe. He kisses Kaidan gently, smiling when he says his name again and falls into a dreamless sleep, comforted with the knowledge that he will wake up with the man of his dreams, beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I want to give a shout out to all the authors who write the M/M romance in the Mass Effect universe. Damn! It is from them, I drew my inspiration from, for this chapter. As Damien is a newbie with a man, I am a newbie writing M/M sex scenes. I hope you liked this, it was fun to write. I know it wasn't the whole tamale (pun intented), but I'm working my way up to that. Also, like Damien, I need to warm up. If you have any comments or want to share smut prompts, I'm game. Any help will be appreciated. :)


	8. Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s another chapter with yummy goodness, also NSFW. Enjoy!

Jerking awake from a deep dreamless sleep, Damien groans when he hears the incessant beeping and vibration coming from his omni-tool. He hits the on button, grumbling at being interrupted from the best sleep he’s had in a long time, and growls at whoever is on the other side, “Yeah, what is it?” 

“Good morning to you too, Commander, sleep well?”

“What do you want, Joker?”

“We’re an hour out from Eden Prime, sir. I just wanted to let you know.”

Damien sits up slightly, pushing up into the cushion of pillows behind him and rubs the sleep from his eyes, pausing when he notices Kaidan is sprawled diagonal next to him lying on his stomach, with one arm hanging down off the bed and his legs tangled with his. Hmm, it seems Kaidan is a bed hog. He smiles and stares at his boyfriend snoring away, completely oblivious to the world around him. Gods, he’s a beautiful sight. This is exactly what he wanted to wake up to. Running his eyes down Kaidan’s muscled back; he bites his bottom lip and grins when he notices that the bed covers have fallen down to just below his waist outlining his perfect ass. Almost moaning at the sight, he is startled when Joker interrupts him.

“Are you still there, Commander? Rise and shine.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. What’s with the hour notification? Usually you only give me half that.”

Joker snickers, which alerts him that something smart-alecky was coming next and it seemed that Joker was overly chipper this morning, which was suspicious by itself. “Oh, just thought that you might need extra time today, seeing as you never sleep in. It is 0900, Commander. That’s all.” Knowing somehow that he wasn’t done, Damien waits for Joker to continue. “Hey, do you know where Major Alenko might be? I figured you might want him to join you on mission today and was going to notify him. Maybe you can do that for me?”

Aww, there it is. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He stifles his own chuckle when he hears in the background of the cockpit, “Ow! That hurt Garrus!”

“Stop being such a big baby. You deserved it.” Garrus says chortling at his friend.

“You could be gentler, you know. Fragile, remember?” Joker says with an injured tone.

A new voice, one that is feminine but mechanical says, “Like that is going to stop you from making an ass of yourself.”

Complete silence and then a Turian trill is heard and Garrus says, “Nice one, EDI!”

Her voice sounding slightly embarrassed, “Did I say that out loud?”

Damien speaks up, “You did. By the sound of it, you completely shut Joker up too, which by the way is normally hard to do. Good job!”

Grumbling comes over the comm with clear words of ‘Assholes’ and ‘It must be pick on Joker day…’

Damien chuckles, “You’ll live, Joker. Garrus, let’s meet in the CIC in 30 minutes to go over the mission brief. Otherwise…consider the Major notified. Understood?”

Joker whistles and Garrus chuckles at the reference and says, “Finally…and uh…take your time this morning, Captain. No hurry, I’m your XO, remember? I can get everything ready.”

Damien rolls his eyes again and grins at his friends for looking out for him. “In that case, I’ll notify you when I’m ready for the brief.” Getting another couple of bawdry comments from the peanut gallery, he interrupts using his command voice, “Off the comm you two.”

Automatic ‘Aye-aye, Sir’ statements from the both of them comes over the link and the connection clicks off. 

Chuckling to himself, he pauses when a low sleepy moan is heard from the man lying beside him. Kaidan opens one eye to peak up at him and mumbles, “Mmm, your command voice is very sexy.”

“Good morning,” Damien says and slinks back down into the mattress to wrap his arms around his sleep sexy bedmate and buries his head into his neck to nuzzle against the sensitive spot he found last night that drove Kaidan crazy; his pulse point. Kaidan moans and in return grinds his morning wood into his, making them both groan. Damien counters Kaidan’s movement and they both gasp and groan as the sensation of sliding their cocks into each other takes them over. Knowing they don’t have enough time to fully satisfy their craving for each other, Damien slows and stops his movement, “As much as I am enjoying this, we need to get up. We should be arriving at Eden Prime in an hour.” He sighs in disappointment at having to return to the real world beyond the arms of the man he loves. 

Kaidan groans at the loss when Damien gives him a hard kiss and extricates himself from his arms and sits up. He lays back and shuts his eyes to try to calm his raging lust for the man, knowing that duty should come first. However, it is almost impossible to resist the temptation of Damien especially now that he has tasted the fire within him. He’s never lost consciousness from oral sex before. The combination of the amount of sexual chemistry between them and the shock that Damien would be so bold with him, just culminated into the best damn blowjob he’s ever had. Plus, the heightened pleasure of Damien’s biotics, Holy Hell, that man was powerful and somehow he knew just how to use it to return pleasure. He’s never lost that much control over his biotics before. Hell, he was known for his control. Apparently with Damien, he will just have to get used to not having any. He smiles, oh well; maybe he can use it to his advantage and turn the tables on Damien. He just needs more time with his boyfriend to find out exactly what torture he can inflict in return. Fuck! He hits the bed in irritation. If only they had more than an hour. Hearing a deep chuckle, he frowns up at his smirking boyfriend and grumbles out, “Tease.”

Damien chuckles.

Kaidan turns on his side to face Damien and leans on his elbow, letting one of his hands slide down his chest to pause to play with the edge of the sheet just barely covering his aching cock. Noticing that Damien is gazing at his hand biting his lip, he stretches to the side a bit which makes the bed sheet lower, showing most of his hardened cock, making Damien gasp and redden before turning away. Now who is the tease. Chuckling, Kaidan recovers himself, done teasing for the moment and asks, “So, that was Joker on the comm?” Damien turns back to him and nods, not trusting himself to speak. He frowns in confusion, “Was that Garrus on the comm as well? What did he want?”

Damien blushes again, “Uh, they were letting me know that I needed to notify you about the mission.”

“That ‘you’ needed to…Oh, they know that I’m here with you.”

“Yeah.”

“Huh…and are you okay with that?”

Damien leans down and kisses him, separating when they become breathless. Taking his face in his hands he brushes his thumbs along Kaidan’s stubbled cheeks. Looking into his eyes, he says, “Of course I’m okay with that. Garrus already knew how I felt about you and I think Joker figured it out…Liara knows, James is oblivious as usual, and I don’t think Steve or Sam cares one way or the other. I’m not sure about Karin or Greg, but truthfully, I don’t care. I love you and anyone having a problem with that can fuck off. I’ve given my pound of flesh for the Alliance, I deserve to be happy. What about you? I don’t want to ruin your career because we are definitely fraternizing since technically I’m your CO.”

“Seriously? You think I give a damn about the frat regs? I’m with you on the ‘fuck off’ notion. If someone has a problem with it, I guess we can deal with it then. Otherwise, I’m all in, Damien. Obviously, we still have our duties plus the added troubles of being Spectres, but in here, it’s you and me. Out there, we’ll figure it out.”

Damien grins and kisses his nose, “Sounds good to me.” He releases Kaidan and hops out of bed to stretch. A loud moan comes from the bed as Kaidan’s eyes widen at seeing Damien naked for the first time. The night previously, he hadn’t the opportunity to see all of him. He runs his starving eyes over every inch of the man stretching in front of him…All that creamy flesh, he licks his lips. Oh Gods! He wants to lick every single contour, every scar…outline the edges of his tattoos. His eyes goggle as Damien bends over, stretching out his hams and glutes, and he whimpers when he looks at the most perfect ass he has ever seen. He hardens even further, pre-cum leaking onto the bed sheets as he imagines plunging his cock into those perfect orbs…Holy Hell! He moans again and falls on his face to hide how much seeing Damien naked is torturing him. 

Damien chuckles at his reaction, knowing exactly what he was doing to him with his stretching… “Am I bothering you, Kaidan?” 

“Ugh…go take your shower…leave me here all by myself…” comes a strained muffled response. 

Damien grins and leers lasciviously at the naked man in his bed, and because he just can’t help it, he leans over and swats Kaidan’s ass, making him yelp and turn to glare at him. Smirking he walks up the stairs and into the bathroom to take care of business before turning the shower on. 

Within a few minutes and while he was dowsing himself in the hot water, he feels strong arms wrap around his waist and a hot body slide up against him. Kaidan leans into his ear, “How much time do we have?”

“Maybe 25 minutes…”

“Definitely enough time…” Kaidan says spinning them around and settles Damien in front of him as he leans against the shower wall. He pillows his aching cock between Damien’s ass cheeks and starts to slide himself slowly up and down, root to tip like Damien did the previous evening. He uses one hand to grip Damien’s neck to turn his head so he can ravage his mouth and slides the other down Damien’s perfect chest to his cock taking him in hand. Using the warm water, he slides his hand up and down, taking special care to cup Damien’s balls before he gives as much love as he can to all 9 glorious inches of him. Damien arches into him, whimpering into his mouth as Kaidan changes angle with his thrusts to tantalize Damien’s nerves in that area, trying to give him a new experience and maybe look forward to additional stimulation the next time.

“Oh Gods, Kaidan! I want you so fucking much!” Damien says losing all inhibition and restraint. He braces one of his hands on Kaidan’s hip helping him with his rhythm against him and with the other he uses it to guide Kaidan’s head down to his neck, specifically his amp port, and taking the hint, starts to lick and suck on the sensitive nerve bundle which sparks Damien’s biotics. Damien lets out a loud cry of pleasure and comes into Kaidan’s hand and at the same time pulses his biotic energy into Kaidan which in turn sparks his biotics as he spurts his release with a loud groan, across Damien’s lower back.

Relaxing against each other as they come down off their respective highs, Kaidan gently nips Damien’s ear and whispers, “That was explosive.” Damien chuckles, which jostle the both of them, reminding Kaidan that he’s feeling a little crushed. Pushing against Damien to move so he can breathe easier, he says, “Ugh, you’re heavier than I expected, Damien.”

Damien laughs and switches their position; him against the wall and Kaidan facing him as he wraps him in his arms so they can relax together. Reaching up to direct the spray of the water over their bodies, he nuzzles Kaidan’s sensitive neck and says, “Half robot, remember?”

“Mmm, so I’m dating a bionic man, huh?”

“Ha! That is an old reference, Kaidan.”

“It’s true, though. I think you’ve shown that you have stamina that lasts for days.”

Damien licks and kisses his neck and blows on the trail he’s made, making Kaidan shudder in pleasure and whispers huskily, “I guess we’ll find out if that transfers to the bedroom…won’t we.”

Oh Gods, the imagery of that statement. Kaidan takes Damien’s head in his hands and kisses him, ravaging his mouth. Hearing a chime at the door, he releases Damien and pulls back enough to look at him with enough passion to make a rock horny. 

Damien exclaims, ‘Fuck!’ and moves over to the door of the shower to stick his head out, “What is it EDI?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, Captain, but Joker wants me to remind you that you do have a mission today. Apparently, Cerberus needs its ass kicked, his words not mine. We are now 15 minutes out. Also, Liara wants to go with you due to the Prothean artifact that they apparently found.”

“Understood, EDI. Tell ‘nosey’ that I’ll be down momentarily.”

She laughs and says, “Will do. EDI out.”

Damien turns back towards his boyfriend and pauses as he watches him finish up washing himself with his soap and shampoo. Trying to keep his hands to himself, he eyes the lucky soap suds glide over Kaidan’s body and sighs. Duty calls. 

Kaidan finishes what he's doing and moves out of the spray towards the shelf of towels grabbing one and towels off as Damien moves into the spray to wash himself. Waiting until Damien closes his eyes to dowse his head in the water, he takes his towel and snaps it in the direction of Damien’s ass, making him yelp when it makes contact with a wet slap. He rushes past Damien before the man can grab him and chuckles when he hears him grumble ‘bastard’ before the door slides shut behind him. 

He finishes toweling off and rushes to dress into his sweatpants and shirt, pulling on his hoodie when Damien comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Kaidan walks over to him and leans in to kiss him briefly, “Meet you in the cargo bay, babe. I have to go to my quarters first, before I head down. Need to change into my uniform.”

Nodding, Damien kisses him again and says, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Damien turns and watches him leave and smiles when Kaidan waves at him before the doors close behind him.

It’s crazy, but Damien suddenly misses him. He’s been gone less than a minute and Damien already feels different. The heavy life sucking weight of the war that he carries upon his shoulders, that had been temporarily lifted with Kaidan’s presence, suddenly overwhelms him again, sucking all of the happiness out of him. His chest feels heavy and he sucks in much needed air as he almost doubles over with the feeling like he had when he was falling into space, his air hose cut, slowly suffocating. He suddenly remembers that his last thoughts were of Kaidan. His heart thunders in his chest and he groans in pain, falling onto the bed to clutch at his throat. 

“Captain, are you alright?” EDI asks concerned. “Do you need me to call Doctor Chakwas?”

Trying to calm himself, he sits on the bed and wheezes out a response. “No, EDI. Thank you for asking, but I’ll be fine…”

EDI softens her voice into a more soothing tone, “Your metabolic rates say otherwise, Captain, but I know you would rather not talk with the doctor. However, due to your scans from the past 12 hours, I would surmise that returning Major Alenko to your cabin would be the wiser course, as he seems to calm and center you.”

During EDI’s analysis of his situation, he actually had been able to calm down and listen to what she was saying. Staring up at the camera which only she has access to, he nods and says, “You are definitely right about Major Alenko, but I will decline your offer to fetch him, because I already feel better. And, I want you to know that I feel better because of you, EDI. So, thank you.”

“Your heart rate has definitely calmed down since I started talking to you, so I can surmise that you are feeling better. And, as your friend, I am happy to help.”

Smiling, he says, “That will be all, EDI.”

“Logging you out, Shepard.”

Damien takes a deep breath to clear the dark thoughts from his mind and hurries to get changed into his uniform. As he waits for the elevator to take him down to the cargo bay, he decides that maybe it is time to talk about these dark feelings he has from time to time with Kaidan. Maybe it will help to get it off his chest. But, there is still the problem of the separation anxiety he is having when Kaidan is not around. Obviously, there will be times when they can’t be together since they are both busy men; and duty does come first. However, there may be a solution to at least minimize the pain of being a part. If Kaidan is willing, maybe he can convince him to move into his quarters with him. That at least would help lighten the burden that he carries; give him something to look forward to. He smiles, thinking about the possibilities. Feeling a little lighter, he steps into the elevator and hits the button for the cargo bay, looking forward to seeing Kaidan again, even if it’s brief while they ready for their mission.


	9. Eden Prime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter refers to the 'From Ashes' DLC. Thank you for all the kudos and comments. 
> 
> I would like to dedicate this chapter to one of my best friends for her birthday. She has been a great inspiration in her support of this story and for giving this whole genre a chance, since she is not familiar with the game. Although, after talking plot points with her, I may have brought her into the fold. Welcome to Mass Effect, my friend. It's an amazing ride.

“Thank you, Garrus.” Damien says once he and the Turian finish the brief about the upcoming mission. 

“Are you sure you don’t need me on this one, Shep?” Huffing on his talons and brushing off invisible dust from his shoulder, he adds, “Having Archangel as your back-up…you know, just in case your ass isn’t covered sufficiently by Kaidan…” pausing to give his last statement emphasis, “…Or Liara. Having a badass sniper could help you with that, just saying...”

Damien looks at an amused Kaidan as they are both at their lockers changing into their heavy armor. Shaking his head over Garrus’ boasting over his skills as a sniper, he laughs, “Thanks, but you’re not my type.” 

Garrus looks at him shocked a second before doubling over and laughing, making all of them chuckle at the bad joke. Kaidan finishes changing into his armor and grins at the two friends as they continue to bicker at each other; he walks over to meet up with Steve to ready his weapons and check the seals on his armor. 

Watching Kaidan walk away, Damien adds, “Besides, I think three badass biotics can handle anything that Cerberus has to throw at us. Plus, I think you’ve forgotten that I’m not bad with a sniper rifle myself. Why do you think I carry this around,” he says pointing at his M13 Raptor. 

“Pfft. That little peashooter? I can’t even call you a sniper until you use a real sniper rifle, like my Widow.”

“Ah, I see. You’re a rifle snob. I get it.”

Garrus just smirks at him, “One of these days, we’ll have to have a contest to find out who’s the best.”

Damien agrees, “You’re on.” 

Garrus waves to him as he leaves, saying he has to get back to his rounds, when James comes over to help Damien check the seals on his armor as he finishes up getting ready. 

“You dog!”

Damien pauses adjusting his gauntlets and looks at James as the younger man is helping him check over the latches on his back plate and exclaims confused, “Excuse me?”

James nods his head over at Kaidan who’s talking to Steve over near the shuttle as he readies his weapons in their holsters and then looks back at him. “Oh, come on, Commander. Your eyes have been glued to the Major’s ass the whole time you’ve been down here. How many times did I tell you in Vancouver that you needed to get laid. It improves your disposition and looking at you, yours has definitely been improved. You’re almost glowing with happiness. That by itself without the eye wandering was enough for me to notice that you finally had taken my advice.”

Damien eyes the young lieutenant in front of him continuing to check his seals on the rest of his armor; he realizes that he’s misjudged the man. He apparently notices a lot more than he lets on. Huh. Impressed with the young lieutenant’s ability to see beyond the obvious, he realizes that James has a keen mind. He just hides it behind a flirty demeanor with a blatant disregard for command structure which can be forgiven because he is a great soldier and loyal friend. He nods at him and grins, “Yes, you know best.”

“Damn Skippy!” James says smiling at Damien for agreeing with him. Patting him on the shoulder, indicating that his armor is sealed properly, he waits until Shepard is distracted with readying his weapons in their harness and stealing another brief glimpse at Kaidan across the cargo bay, which in turn has also snuck in a few glances at him, he coughs to get his Commander’s attention. When Damien looks up at him, he asks curious, “So Loco, how is he…you know…in bed?”

“James…” Damien scowls at him for even asking such a personal question.

“Ha! Got you. The look on your face, Loco…”

Never mind, he is no longer impressed. Looking at the lieutenant smirk at him and waggle his eyebrows at him, he shakes his head. “You are incorrigible, James. Why do I put up with you?”

“Pfft! Like this ship could run without me. It would be a pretty dark place without my style and panache. Even people who have nicknames that are supposed to instill the need to lighten the mood with humor can’t do it with my skill. Some people have it and some don’t.” 

“I heard that, Vega,” Joker chimes in from the intercom and camera overhead.

James looks up at the camera and blows him a raspberry.

Damien rolls his eyes and shakes his head, “You two should just make out and get it over with.”

“What!?!” they exclaim in unison, outraged at the suggestion. 

“Ha! Got you.” 

As he walks away from the shocked and insulted gentlemen he laughs when he hears them call him names for his outrageous suggestion; ‘Bastard’ and ‘Jackass’ being among them. He laughs as they move beyond their outrage and continue to bicker as James returns to his workstation. Damien reflects on what James had said about how his attendance has changed the atmosphere within the ship. He chuckles, James is right. This ship would be a much quieter place without his presence. That prospect can either be good or bad. Some of the crew would be rather pleased if James wasn’t around to continue to take their money in poker, but he would be someone who would hate to see him go. They had become pretty good friends when James served as his guard on Earth. He was also a brilliant soldier and tactician. Plus, James kept Joker on his toes. That by itself was worth the smartass comments that James tended to dish out. 

Reflecting on the rest of his crew, he smiles, they are all characters in their own right, and all contributed in one way or another in keeping the Normandy an interesting place to be. Obviously some of the crew meant more to him than others, but the thought of losing any of them would be a tragedy by itself. He’s already lost so many. Besides, just the fact that they were willing to fight by his side and serve with him, was an amazing thing on its own. For his part, having the chance to be their Commander in this time of chaos has been an honor of his and he’s proud to know all of them and call them friend.

{{{}}}

Joining Kaidan to wait at the shuttle for their third squad mate to arrive, Damien leans back against the door. Noticing that Steve was doing his pre-flight check of the outer hull, ignoring the two men to get the shuttle ready for departure, Damien leans into Kaidan’s ear to whisper, “You look so sexy in your heavy armor. I just want to strip it off of you one piece at a time.” 

Kaidan moans softly and gives him a hot look before whispering back, “What would you do with me once I’m naked?”

Damien pulls Kaidan into him so he can trail his whiskered cheek against his, making Kaidan shiver, and suck on his earlobe briefly before whispering, feeling bold, “Hmm, I think you know what I want to do with you, Kaidan…I’m ready. After last night and this morning…I can’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to be inside you. To feel you come from my cock thrusting into your hot depths. I can’t stop thinking about fucking you, Kaidan. You did say I’m a fast learner…” he smirks at his boyfriend as Kaidan whimpers, listening to him. 

Kaidan moans and growls making Damien grin in satisfaction. Oh Gods! He wants Damien to fuck him so bad. He leans into the man who is currently kissing his neck and closes his eyes imagining what Damien’s cock would feel like inside of him and adjusts his suddenly tight armored trousers. “I think you enjoy torturing me, Damien.” 

Damien murmurs, “Maybe,” against his pulse point. He chuckles when Kaidan groans and separates them enough to look at him like he wants to take advantage of him right here and now, audience be damned.

Shaking his head to clear his wanton thoughts about Damien, Kaidan asks, “I meant to ask you earlier, how you knew what to do last night? I’ve never lost consciousness before. It was mind-blowing, literally.” 

“What? A guy can’t do a little research?” Damien says chuckling when Kaidan gapes at him in shock. 

“When?” Kaidan sputters.

“I told you I’ve had a crush on you a while now, Kaidan.” He shrugs, “I was curious…if I ever had a chance with you; I wanted to know I could make you lose control.” Smirking at him as his boyfriend reddens, he adds, “Apparently, I succeeded.”

“That’s an understatement, Damien,” Kaidan says as his eyes start to glow blue with swirls of energy as his control slips just thinking about the idea that Damien had thought about giving him pleasure for years. Thinking about the intense pleasure from last night and this morning, it was tempting to drag Damien upstairs, mission be damned and ravish him until he can’t see straight, returning the favor. 

With a soft moan of disappointment, Kaidan pulls away suddenly when he hears the elevator doors open. They both straighten and step away from each other, just a few feet so they are no longer tempted by each other, when Liara walks out of the elevator and grabs her weapons from James as he hands them to her. Trying not to look at Damien, Kaidan tries to get his body back under control. He feels as though he’s about ready to combust, his body is still vibrating with need for the man standing beside him, who apparently is also finding it hard to control his own desire for him. Releasing his energy, Kaidan suddenly realizes that this will be the first time that he and Damien, now a couple, will be alone with Liara. He hopes his friendship with her won’t be strained now that he and Damien have started seeing each other, so soon after their breakup. 

Liara walks over to the shuttle, completely armored and ready to go. “Hey, Shepard…congratulations by the way…” she says with a straight face after noticing the hot looks that he and Kaidan had been giving each other before they tried to mask them. 

“About what?” Damien says confused. 

She looks at him and then at Kaidan and snickers quietly when they both blush. Pursing her lips, she gives him a knowing smile.

Sighing, he asks, “Does everyone know?”

“I think it was sent out in the morning status brief…” Liara says teasing him.

“What?” 

She laughs, “No. Shadow Broker, remember? I know everything.”

“Meaning you monitor the cameras throughout the ship and saw Kaidan come to my room last night and didn’t leave until this morning.”

She smirks, “Well yeah, that too.”

Having finished his preliminary check of the shuttle’s exterior, Steve catches the last bit of their conversation and stares at the two men in front of him. He whistles, “Nice.”

Rolling his eyes, Damien huffs in irritation, “Why is my sex life so important to people?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Steve says as he opens the door to the shuttle and precedes them inside. 

Kaidan laughs and shrugs enjoying Damien’s discomfort and boards the shuttle, sitting in the farthest seat and smiles up at him when he follows and stands next to him within touching distance. 

After following the men inside, Liara shuts the door behind her, seals it, and sits in the opposite seating area from Kaidan. She grins when she notices that they are already cognizant of each other, when Kaidan shifts, Damien moves, always not far away. She responds by saying, “Because you are their Commander. They care about you. They hope to see you happy and clearly Kaidan makes you happy. And, by the look on his face, you do the same for him.”

Damien reddens and looks down at the sexy man sitting next to him and brushes a gloved hand over Kaidan’s cheek. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

Kaidan places his hand on Damien’s and squeezes it, giving him a beautiful smile and winks at him. 

Liara hides a smile behind her hand. She’s extremely happy for Damien. There is a slight twinge that they were not able to make things work, but she is glad that he has Kaidan. Seeing how they act together and the hot looks between them, she realizes letting him go was the right choice. The slight twinge goes away and she only feels privileged to have not only known the great Commander Shepard, but to call him friend. Deciding to use some of the human vernacular she has picked up after serving alongside them for so long, she says, “Geez, get a room.”

They gawk at her and Steve starts laughing from the pilot’s seat. 

{{{}}}

After clearing the hangar bay of the Normandy, Steve pilots the shuttle down to the planet’s surface. Upon their approach, Steve puts up a visual image over the vidscreen in the cabin and Liara stares at the beautiful planet. Not being there the first time, like her squad mates, she sighs, “Eden Prime. This is where it all began.” 

Damien looks at the visual of the planet below them. Having no words, too many memories bombarding him all at once, he nods and looks away. 

Liara moves to stand in from on him and says quietly, “Where the Prothean beacon gave you the vision that warned us about the Reapers.”

“We lost a lot of good people when Saren and the Geth hit this place,” Kaidan says standing up, his voice choked with emotion.

Liara nods at him, “Yes. And now with Cerberus here, Eden Prime’s colonists are under attack again.”

Shepard looks at the two of them, “Seems like a lifetime ago.”

Kaidan looks at him and then away, staring at nothing as he remembers, “A lot of memories here. Jenkins and that damn Geth recon drone.”

“And Nihlus,” Shepard says remembering all those he lost that day. 

Kaidan nods, “Guess we’ve got a lot of people to remember down here…even if we’re not fighting Geth this time.”

Shepard looks at Kaidan and smiles slightly, remembering that if not for him, this place would feel different, less significant somehow. This place; the two of them fighting side by side, trying to save as many as they could, and now, almost four years later, returning to fight once again. “Not a lot of people have had my back from the beginning. Thanks for coming.”

Kaidan holds out his hand and Damien takes it and squeezes it, “I wasn’t going to miss this one.”

Waiting until turbulence makes the two men drop their hands to grab the railing in the ceiling to keep upright as they descend into the atmosphere, Liara adds, “Cerberus hit Eden Prime hard. Whatever they found here was worth a major offensive. There are survivors elsewhere on the colony, but they killed everyone near the dig site.”

Damien lowers his voice in anger, “They deserve better.”

Liara nods and says softly, “I know. The Alliance did what it could to evacuate colonists, but Cerberus came in so quickly…”

“If we find survivors, we’ll do what we can. What about this artifact? Any idea whether it’s part of the Crucible?” Shepard asks Liara.

“The Alliance didn’t get any specifics about what Cerberus has uncovered. I know it would help to have another source of information on the Catalyst, but we can’t count on that.”

Shepard nods in agreement and says, “Let’s hope that this time, luck is on our side.”

Steve interrupts them bringing Shepard to the cockpit, “I’m bringing you in as close to the dig site as I can. No way will we avoid detection, but you should have a few minutes.”

Shepard taps Steve’s chair in acknowledgement and says, “Understood.”

Walking back into the cabin, he joins back up with Liara and Kaidan near the door to the shuttle, “Alright everyone, get ready to move.”

Liara nods and says, “If our luck holds, we can get to the dig site before Cerberus knows we’re here.” 

Steve brings the shuttle to hover a few feet over a clearing on the edge of what looks like the dig site. 

After following Shepard and Kaidan to the ground and doing a preliminary check of their surrounding area, Liara observes, “No sign of survivors. Come on, we need to find the dig site.”

Walking in formation with Shepard on point, they start walking towards the buildings ahead of them. 

Surveying the landscape around them, Damien observes, “This was a beautiful colony once.” 

Kaidan says encouragingly, “Colonists came back after Saren and the Geth attacked, they’ll come back again.” 

Damien grunts in acknowledgement and pauses at the edge of the large depression in the ground, waiting for his squad mates to catch up to him. Whistling at the sight, he says, “Look at that, bits of Prothean tech, sticking out of the ground like an old bone.” 

“You ever uncover a dinosaur, Liara?” Kaidan says, tongue in cheek as they look over the dig site in front of them. He looks over at Damien and winks.

Damien shakes his head and grins behind a hand when Liara huffs and answers indignantly, “No. Dinosaurs and other fossils would be paleontology. I’m an archeologist. I study artifacts left by sapient species. The two fields are completely different and…AH, you were joking.”

“Nah…”

Liara rolls her eyes and huffs off to the platform in the distance, making Damien and Kaidan laugh as they follow in her wake. 

Their light hearted banter soon turns to shock as they discover just what Cerberus had unearthed, not just an artifact, but something far more valuable, something hidden for the past 50,000 years…not something, but someone. 

{{{}}}

After fighting through wave after wave of Cerberus enemies while trying to find the codes that would successfully open the cryo-pod without killing the occupant inside, Damien groans. Unceremoniously thrown to the ground biotically by the strange alien awakening after such a long sleep, probably an instinctual reaction, Damien staggers to his feet, being careful of his leg that was injured from their fight against Cerberus. Staring after the alien, a Prothean apparently, who had fled from them and was now looking around their surroundings in confusion, Damien checks his squad mates to see if they are okay and seeing they are, he limps over to see to their new guest. 

Already standing up, apparently having recovered faster from the aftereffects of the Prothean’s strange biotic powers, Liara warns, “Be careful Shepard, he’s confused. Remember, it’s been 50,000 years for us, for him it’s only been…”

A few minutes…

Their strange friend brings Damien into another dreamlike trance as soon as he touches him, and shows him how he had found himself in his current predicament as being the only one of his species to survive the Reaper invasion of his time and how he and he alone would remember those that were sacrificed. How he had made a vow to call down vengeance upon those who would oppose him once awakened. 

This trance was different from the others; the images from the transmissions Cerberus had extracted were shown to him like he was watching a vid on a screen, while hunting for the codes to release the cryo-pod. This was different. He was immersed, like he had lived through it, a first person point of view; more intense, more real. Damien felt like he was the Prothean, Commander Javik, experiencing the hurt and grief of losing his entire race to the demons trying to wipe out every trace of his very existence from the galaxy. 

Choking in agony, Damien breaks free and doubles over as the latent images of the lost Prothean Empire leaves him unable to catch his breath. Damien goes to his knees, gasping at the disturbing images of war and death, leaving him cold and shaking. Seeing Kaidan out of the corner of his eye, starting to move to his side, he puts his hand out and waves him away, as he turns to look at the Prothean by his side, staring at him.

“How many others?” Javik asks.

Shepard stands up shakily and says still breathless, “Just you.”

Javik shakes his head and closes his eyes in despair at hearing what he only guessed at previously. 

“You can understand me?” Damien asks, curious as to how Javik can speak his language without a translator.

“Yes…I have read your physiology, your nervous system…enough to understand your language.”

Looking down at him, Damien says, “So you were reading me while I was seeing…”

“Our last moments…” Javik says getting to his feet; he shakes his head, “Our failure…”

Damien walks around him to stand at his side as Javik looks out over their surroundings, “I saw what happened to your people. Your people did everything they could. They never gave up. We don’t know much about your race, but we do know that. We may not have long before we need to leave this place, we don’t want to attract more attention from our enemies. If you read me, you probably also read that we are fighting the Reapers like you did in your time. I know you must be grieving for your people, but, you need to know that they died 50,000 years ago. My people are dying right now. We could really use your help, if you are willing.”

“Will I be able to fight at your side? I have a desire to bring vengeance to the Reapers.”

Damien laughs, “That I can guarantee. I see more combat than most others fighting in this war. If you would join me, I would be honored to have you fight at my side.”

Javik scrutinizes him and then looks at his squad mates, “Asari…Human. I’m surrounded by primitives.”

Damien looks at him and frowns…that word, primitives, triggers a memory, one he hasn’t thought of in over three years. That strange experience he had on Eletania, back during his search for the conduit and stopping Saren. The floating orb they had found that was triggered by that strange key the Consort on the Citadel had given him. That was a trance like dream, as well. A primitive human being watched by beings in the sky. He had always assumed that the beings were probably Protheans observing his species at the time. It made sense that Javik’s people would be familiar with other primitive species in the galaxy, like the Asari or Turian. He startles when Javik grunts at him as he stares at him with his four eyes, as though he was aware of what Damien had just recollected about that strange phenomena. 

Javik nods at him and says, “We shall see,” before moving off to the edge of the dig site to look at the last vestiges of his race’s infrastructure. 

Damien looks after Javik in awe and shrugs. He’ll have to contemplate the meaning of what he just concluded on, later. The implications could rewrite their entire galactic history. Shaking his head to clear it, he watches as Javik moves away, saying out loud, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Liara and Kaidan walk over to join him. Liara stares in awe at Damien and then at the Prothean in open mouth wonder. Stammering, she asks, “Take what as a yes?”

Looking at her in confusion, “You heard him, he said ‘We shall see’ when I asked him if he would join us in our fight against the Reapers.”

Liara looks at Kaidan and then back at him, “We didn’t understand a word of what you were saying, Shepard, past your comment of him reading you. Then the rest of your conversation was in a language we couldn’t translate. I suppose it could have been the Prothean language. It sounded like the language spoken by that broken VI on Ilium.”

“What? I was speaking the Prothean language?” Damien says shocked.

Kaidan says looking impressed, “It must be the cypher you received on Feros, those few years ago. Similar to understanding their language on Ilium, you must have been given the knowledge to speak it as well as understand it.” 

“Huh,” Damien says surprised. “Another skill for my resume, I guess.”

Rolling her eyes, Liara huffs in irritation, “Shepard…”

Grinning at her, he says, “Why don’t you try talking to our new Prothean friend. His name is Javik, by the way. Commander Javik. I’ll call the shuttle to come and pick us up.”

Liara nods at him and walks off, leaving Kaidan waiting by his side. Damien turns away and limps towards some crates stacked to the side, suddenly feeling the ache from his injury and calls Cortez over the radio, “Steve, we are ready for pick up. Can you land near our position?” At his confirmation, Damien signs off once he’s informed that his ETA was 5 minutes. 

Kaidan narrows his eyes at Damien as he watches his boyfriend limp over to some crates and sit down on top of them to check over his wound, grimacing at what he finds. Pausing to watch Liara try to talk to Javik, who was ignoring her, as he looks over what have become of his once vast empire, Kaidan walks slowly over to Damien, still feeling stiff from being biotically thrown, and says, “Let’s see this leg wound of yours.” After their final fight with Cerberus, Kaidan had noticed that Damien was favoring his left leg. 

“I’m fine, Kaidan, I only need some medigel. There’s no need to fuss over me. Why don’t you transmit that data we found to the Eden Prime resistance movement? I’m sure they could use the intel.”

What’s with the cold shoulder all of a sudden? Why is Damien ignoring him? He remembers back to the fight with Cerberus. He had gotten cornered by the Atlas and his shields and barrier had been whittled down to almost nothing when he felt more than heard Damien charge at the Atlas and had broken through the canopy, successfully hijacking it. He had grabbed the operator by his armor and shot him point blank in the face, sneering something like ‘Get away from my boyfriend, you bastard!’ before taking the rest of the troopers out with their own mech. He definitely appreciated the save, but it was seeing Damien fight so ruthlessly that had been such a turn on. He had looked forward to teasing him about how protective he was towards him, but ever since, Damien had almost ignored him. What the hell? Hurt and a little angry, Kaidan grit out, “As your medic, I insist on looking at your injury, Captain.” 

Blanching at hearing Kaidan use his rank instead of his name, he finally looks at him and sees hurt in his eyes. Shit. Feeling low at ignoring him since almost watching him die right in front of him before he hijacked the fucking Atlas, injuring himself in the process, taking his fear and anger out on the fuckers who dared to hurt what was his, Damien sighs and grunts in assent. He moves to sit on the ground, and stumbles in his attempt. Kaidan grabs a hold of him and helps him sit down and lean against the crates, with his bum leg stretched out in front of him.

“Stubborn jackass…” Kaidan mumbles to himself as he examines the wound with his omni-tool. Peering through the splintered armor at the damaged area, he says, “Looks like a through and through, however since I can’t tell from here whether the bullet has hit a bone or not, I’m going to use your armor to help compress the wound after I clean what I can of it, before we get back to the Normandy and Doc Chakwas can look at it.” Looking up when he hears the shuttle arrive, Kaidan looks over to watch it land and says, “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He stands up and when Damien goes to do the one thing he just asked him not to, he bends over and puts a hand on Damien’s shoulder, frowning at him and says, “Don’t move. Understand?”

Looking up at Kaidan in exasperation, Damien grumbles, “I’m fine.” He starts to get up again and pauses when Kaidan threatens to use a stasis field on him if he moves again. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he finally settles back and nods. 

Running into Steve at the door to the shuttle, Kaidan hurries inside to grab the medicine bag that holds more emergency gear, beyond the basics that he always carries. Steve looks at his Commander sitting against some crates and how fast the Major is grabbing his gear and sniggers to himself. His CO did have a reputation for hating anything to do with hospitals or doctors. Considering the fact that his new boyfriend was a certified medic, well…he grins, this should be interesting and leans against the shuttle to watch the fireworks. 

{{{}}}

As soon as the shuttle docks on the Normandy, Garrus waits for the all clear and strolls over to the hatch, to find out for himself what all the commotion was about. Cortez had informed him and Joker that they were returning; however his tone was highly amused and a little awed. They were warned that they had a new crewmate and their CO was not in the best of moods. His exact words were, ‘be warned, the beast is back.’ That was enough to inform Garrus and the crew that Damien was not to be messed with unless they wanted a version of the man’s reputation known throughout as the most feared warrior in the galaxy. The strange thing about the transmission from Steve was that the man could hardly get the words out from laughing so hard. 

Once the hatch to the shuttle opens, Garrus looks inside and blinks at the strange alien Liara is talking to, who looks sort of like a modified Collector. He is more surprised, however, when his CO growls at a flustered Kaidan to leave him alone as he stumbles out of the shuttle and almost knocks him over. Garrus grabs his swearing friend from falling over and is about to ask if he’s okay, when Damien apologizes to him and limps off to the lockers to sit heavily on the bench and then proceeds to swear a blue streak as he tries to unhook his weapons from their harnesses to hand them off to James, who is staring at him open mouthed.

Looking after his best friend in shock, Garrus exclaims out loud in confusion, “What the hell?” to no one in particular.

Kaidan walks to Garrus and sighs as he looks over at a grumbling Damien, glaring at anyone who dares to look at him, as he continues to struggle with his weapons. Once he unhooks them, he hands them to James who had tentatively walked over to help out. The strain on James’ face would be amusing at any other time, but in this instance, they don’t envy the young Lt as he waits for Damien to dismiss him. 

Noticing Kaidan at his side, Garrus asks, “Why is Shepard having a temper tantrum?” 

Rubbing a hand over his face and wincing, Kaidan looks at Garrus and says, “Damien got injured, as you can see, and we have a new Prothean crew mate.”

Garrus huffs in irritation, “Yeah, I can see that Shepard was injured. That by itself doesn’t bode well for the crew because he is legendary for his moods when he’s injured, which thank the Spirits, doesn’t happen often, but I was referring to what’s going on with the two of you. Regarding the Prothean crewmate…uh…I’ll let Liara take that one for now, one problem at a time. The most important one at the moment is that…” Garrus says waving at their CO, still making James’ life miserable. 

“Uh…he’s ignoring me. Or, he has since he hijacked the Atlas that was trying to take me out.” Kaidan says trying not to look at his friend.

Garrus groans at hearing the explanation. Fuck! HUMANS!!! If only they had his sense of smell, Kaidan would know exactly what was going on. It seems that it’s another instance of ‘Garrus to the rescue’ again, hopefully saving his best friend from making a complete idiot of himself again. He should start charging Damien for his advice. He would be rolling in credits by now. According to his sense of smell, Damien is emanating a sense of fear for his mate. Apparently, whatever happened on Eden Prime, scared the shit out of him and now he is dealing with it. Badly, of course, but it’s this feeling of fear, that is the reason for the return of the beast…and being injured, of course. Shit. Having seen the hurt in Kaidan’s eyes as he looked at his mate across the cargo bay, Garrus sighs, it is time to deal with the wrath of Shepard, if not for his friends, then for the Normandy crew. With that in mind, he turns towards Kaidan who is looking down at the floor, lost in thought, and says, “Take our CO to the med bay, Kaidan. Don’t take no for an answer. You know he will try to get out of seeing Chakwas, if he can.”

Kaidan looks up at his friend and nods, agreeing with him. As he starts to walk away to drag Damien to the med bay, Garrus stops him with a hand to the shoulder.

“About the other thing…him ignoring you…he’s emanating fear, Kaidan. Was your life in danger by chance?” At Kaidan’s nod, Garrus continues, “You said he hijacked an Atlas? Fuck. I’ve only seen him do that one other time. In that instance, he was protecting a friend. He was probably feeling like he was going to lose you. He reacted on instinct to protect you, too. Plus, this new relationship you have, it’s no wonder that Damien is on beast mode. His protective instincts took over.” Garrus shakes his head at the man in question, “He loves you, Kaidan. He’s probably still coming to terms with this new instinct to protect you from anything that would threaten not only you but what you mean to him. You have it, too. You felt something familiar back on Gellix, remember? Don’t let him push you away. Deal with this. He needs to be reminded that this is who he is, a protector. I think he forgets sometimes.” 

“Thanks Garrus,” Kaidan says smiling at him, “You are a good friend, to the both of us.” 

Garrus grunts and seeing Liara and the Prothean depart from the shuttle, he says, “Go. I’ll help Liara. Tell Damien that I’ll take care of our new friend here, help get him situated.” 

Kaidan nods in assent and walks towards his boyfriend who is growling at James that he can take care of himself, when the Lt tries to help him stand up. Handing over his own weapons and then nodding at the Lt, who looks extremely relieved at being dismissed, Kaidan chuckles at Damien, making the man glare at him. “That wasn’t very nice, Damien, scaring the man for trying to help you.”

“I told all of you that I’m fine. Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” Damien says growling in irritation.

Kaidan looks at his disgruntled stubborn boyfriend and laughs, shaking his head, “Because you are not okay, Damien. You are in pain and need to go to the med bay. As your medic and your boyfriend, I’m going to take you there myself. You can shake your head and swear at me as much as you want, but I’m going to drag you there myself, no matter what.”

Rolling his eyes, Damien sighs, “Fine. Let’s go.”

Kaidan grins and says automatically, “Aye-aye, Sir.” 

Damien flips him off and grunts when Kaidan wraps his arm around him and pulls him to his feet. Between the two of them, they hobble off to make their way to the med bay. 

{{{}}}

A few minutes later, being met at the elevator by the doctor and leaning heavily on Kaidan, they make it into the med bay. Grumbling that he can walk on his own, he pushes away from them and stumbles onto one of the beds and groans when the doctor props his leg up to get a better look at his calf through his torn greaves. “I’m fine, Doc, I only need medigel.”

“Really? And, when did you get your medical license to diagnose that conclusion?

“Uh…”

“That’s what I thought; don’t move, take off your armor, and be quiet. Marines!” Doctor Chakwas says loudly extremely irritated as she turns and stomps off to her medical stores to grab her instruments waving her hands in the air while she grumbles the whole time about stubborn jackasses…

Damien glowers at Kaidan standing next to him, when he hears him snigger behind his hand at the situation. 

As a medic, Kaidan has seen his fair share of stubborn soldiers and truly, Damien, is one of the worst. 

“Laugh it up, asshole, this is your fault.”

“My fault! You’re the one who was playing hero and decided to hijack an Atlas!”

“Excuse me? That Atlas had cornered my boyfriend and had taken out your shields. You were maybe a few seconds away from…” Damien pauses as he turns away to bite his lip. Fuck! So much for not being impartial during missions with Kaidan, he was well and truly compromised, as far as he was concerned. Running a hand through his hair in frustration, he looks up when Kaidan brushes a hand across his cheek, distracting him. 

“I know what you are thinking, Damien. I thank you for saving me, truly I do. However, do you really think that you would have done anything different if instead of me being trapped, it was Liara, James, or Garrus? You would have put your life on the line for any of us. Yes, we, you and me, are different now, but don’t shut me out. This injury would have happened regardless.”

Looking at the love in his boyfriend’s eyes, Damien nods and pulls Kaidan into him to wrap his arms around him. “You’re right…I’m sorry,” Damien says his voice gruff with emotion as he buries his face into Kaidan’s neck, breathing him in. 

“Alright you two, enough of that,” Chakwas says as she walks back over to them to start scanning his leg. Huffing at them, for clearly disobeying her orders by not removing his armor, she stares at Kaidan and says, “Either you can stay and be helpful or you can leave.”

Rubbing the back of his head with his hand, he looks at her sheepishly and says, “I’ll stay,” and immediately helps Damien remove bits and pieces of his armor, paying close attention to not jostle the compress he had covered Damien’s wound with while doing his initial exam back on Eden Prime. 

After reassuring Damien that he will return promptly, Kaidan extricates himself from a suddenly clingy boyfriend and leaves Damien in his undersuit, taking the rest of his armor to James and change out of his own and back into his uniform. Shaking his head at the complete reversal of Damien’s mood from earlier, he smiles to himself. Damien is not only a protector, a trait that Kaidan thinks highly of, but apparently navigating around Damien’s other character traits will be an interesting adventure. Laughing, he remembers his frustration at the stubborn jackass earlier in the shuttle. He was grumbling the whole way back about not needing any help and even though Kaidan could see the hurt and pain in Damien’s eyes, there were a few minutes there, where he wanted to hold him in a stasis field just to get a little peace and quiet. Instead, he caught Liara’s irritated rolling of her eyes and her gesture for him to take care of things and almost choked when he realized that Damien was ‘his’ to take care of. Although, the man was obstinate at times, he did love him. That by itself was an amazing thing. So, he ignored the ‘temper tantrum’ as Garrus put Damien’s reaction and tried his best to take care of him. Then after making Damien see reason in the med bay, his boyfriend wouldn’t let go of his hand during the whole time he was being looked at by the doc. He laughs. What a quirky goofball, his boyfriend is turning out to be. Not wanting to be gone too long, Kaidan heads back to the med bay. 

{{{}}}

Giving Damien a sedative to help relieve some of the pain, Chakwas says, “I have something else for you, Shepard.”

Damien looks up after examining his bullet wound. It turned out to be a through and through, missing the bone entirely. Kaidan was right in his assessment. 

Chakwas grabs whatever it was from her desk and walks over to him to hand him a bottle. Without looking at it he says, “What’s this?”

She rolls her eyes and waves at him to look at it.

He examines it and exclaims shocked at what he’s been given, “Karin! What?”

She smiles and laughs, “I just wanted to make sure you were prepared, that’s all.”

Damien blushes and looks up as Kaidan walks back into the med bay dressed in his uniform. 

Seeing Damien looking extremely uncomfortable, Kaidan pauses, in the open doorway. He looks at him inquiringly. 

Looking away from his curious boyfriend, Damien looks at Chakwas in disbelief and says, “It’s raspberry flavored.”

Biting her lip trying not to laugh at Shepard’s facial expression, Chakwas says, “Exactly. Have fun.” 

Extremely intrigued now, Kaidan walks over to Damien and plucks the bottle he’s holding in his hand to examine the label. Reading that it’s raspberry flavored lube, he chokes and stares at the doctor completely flabbergasted. 

Finally unable to hold it in any longer, she bursts out laughing at both of their expressions of complete shock. Recovering before them, she explains back to business, “Light duty only, Shepard. No missions for at least a couple of days. You need to rest and relax. Understood?” She says glaring at him until he nods at her. She then smiles, “Do you think you can help him with that, Kaidan?” Chakwas says winking at the man in question with a twinkle in her eye.

Kaidan blushes and looks at an equally blushing Damien, he nods and smiles at her. 

“Good. Now off with you, before I change my mind, Shepard, and decide to keep you here overnight for observation.”

Shaking his head in bewilderment at the doc for giving him a bottle of lube, for fuck sake, Damien gingerly stands up and with Kaidan’s help, he hobbles out of the med bay towards the elevator and his quarters to change. Feeling awkward suddenly as they both wait for the elevator, he looks up when Kaidan starts to laugh. 

“I’m gone perhaps 10 minutes and the doc goes from scolding you to giving you this,” holding out the bottle, “I’ve forgotten how crazy she is. Absolutely zany. I’ve missed her though.”

Chuckling also, Damien says, “Yeah, Chakwas always had her quirks, but she’s the best doctor in the Alliance and I’m happy that she’s wanted to serve with me all these years.”

“No. I think it’s more than that, Shepard. She treats you like a son. Hell she treats us all like family; Joker, Garrus, Liara…James when he got beat up from Garrus, she may have yelled at him for being pigheaded but I caught her look of fondness as she took care of him afterward. You won her over on the SR1, Shepard….you always have the best at your side.”

Damien grabs Kaidan and hugs him as he leans against the back of the elevator as they ascend two floors to his cabin. “Hmm, I do at that,” he says nuzzling into Kaidan’s neck, making him groan and arch into him. 

As soon as the elevators doors open, they hobble into the entrance of his quarters and as soon as the doors close behind them, Damien shoves Kaidan up against the wall nearest the door, and kisses him until they are both breathless. 

Kaidan moans and pushes Damien a little so he steps back and then flips their positions taking care not to jostle his injury, “Damien, the doctor said to take it easy, relax and rest. How is this resting?”

Damien slides his hands down Kaidan’s back and grabs his ass, “I’ll rest after I use this lube the doctor gave me, and find out just how you feel as you come around my cock.”

“Oh Gods, Damien…yes, oh yes, I want that too. But first, as your medic, I need you to take a shower and get cleaned up. I don’t mind the scent of gun oil and sweat babe, but the overwhelming scent of blood and other things is not so pleasant.”

Damien grimaces and looks down at his soiled undersuit and nods his head understanding. 

“I didn’t get a chance to clean up either, so I’m going to go do so on my own, while you do what you need to do up here.”

Before Kaidan can walk off and leave him, he grabs his hand and blurts out what he wanted to say that morning, “Move in with me, Kaidan. You can still have the lounge for a work space, of course, but I would really like you to be up here with me. You don’t have to of course, I just thought…you know…it might be easier to spend more time together if you stay here with me…or for convenience, uh…never mind, I’m always rushing things with us,” he says dropping Kaidan’s hand and turning away his heart pounding; when Kaidan just stares at him.

“Damien,” Kaidan says softly, making Damien turn back towards him looking hopeful, “I would love too.”

Damien beams at him but before he can grab him again, Kaidan puts a hand out and says, “After the shower. I’ll go grab my things, clean up, change, and meet you back up here. Okay?”

Damien nods with his heart in his eyes. “I’ll be waiting,” he says huskily.

{{{}}}

Pacing or rather limping back and forth at the edge of his bed, wondering at what is taking Kaidan so long to get cleaned up and packed, granted it’s been maybe 15 minutes since the man left, Damien lets out a frustrated sigh as he leans against his desk to give his aching leg a break. He had hurried with his own shower and getting dressed, just in case Kaidan had returned. He had wanted to take advantage of every second they had together. 

Why the fuck was he so clingy all of sudden? What is it about the two of them that is making being separated from him or out of eye-sight like down on Eden Prime so hard for him to handle today? Frustrated he starts pace-limping again. Feeling the ache increase, he lets out a loud ‘Fuck!’ and plops down on his bed to bury his face into his hands. Son-of-a-bitch this feeling of loss fucking sucks! He remembers with absolute clarity what it felt like when he knew that Kaidan was a second away from probably dying today, he felt like his heart was going to explode. After all this time of pining after Kaidan and finally having a chance at happiness, losing him now, would devastate him. He doesn’t think he would be able to handle it. 

Looking up when the doors to his quarters open and Kaidan walks in with a duffle bag slung across his shoulders and a box in his hands, Damien meets him halfway and helps him by taking his stuff and setting it down on his desk, before pulling him into his arms to hold him. 

Kaidan in turn, wraps his arms around Damien and relaxes into his hold. 

Loving the feel of this man in his arms, he continues to hold him, memorizing how this feels. It feels so natural, like he has found the other half of his soul. 

“Damien, are you okay?” Kaidan says when he feels Damien shudder.

Nuzzling into Kaidan’s neck and holding on a little tighter, Damien says, “I almost lost you today.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I don’t think I can live without you, Kaidan. You mean everything to me.”

“I know what you mean.”

Pulling away finally, Damien says, surprised, “Really?”

Taking Damien’s face in his hands, Kaidan kisses him and says softly against his lips, “Yes, really. Why do you think I put up with you, babe? I love you. You mean more to me…than anything else in this galaxy, Damien. We just found each other. The thought of losing you in this war, creeps me out. I can’t lose you again.”

Kissing Kaidan again until they are breathless for lack of air, Damien grins at him and says, “Aren’t we quite the pair.”

Kaidan laughs, “Yes we are.”

Quirking his eyebrow at him, Damien drags him over to the bed and sits down, relieving the ache in his leg. “Want to help me relax, Kaidan? I could use some of your special talents as my medic for the next few hours.” 

Smirking down at his boyfriend, Kaidan teases, “Shouldn’t I unpack first? I also have lots of messages to go through and it’s the middle of our duty shift. Plus, you know…the mission...”

Standing up, Damien starts to unfasten Kaidan’s uniform and he says, “You can unpack later. The messages can wait a few hours and the mission…well, fuck the mission, or at least until I’m done with you. Could be several hours or days, you never know. I like to be thorough. Attention to detail is a good thing, in our line of work. Besides, you heard the doc, light duty only. Plus, you were asked to help me relax…and, I know exactly what would help me relax…you,” he says huskily as he starts nibbling on Kaidan’s neck after helping him take his shirt off. 

Growling with need, Kaidan starts working on Damien’s uniform and pauses to rub his hand over his boyfriend’s erection as he fumbles with the fastenings on his trousers. “Oh Gods, Damien, I want you so fucking much…AARRRGGHH!” Half undressed, both aching with need for each other, they pause when a chime sounds out of EDI’s old alcove.

Snarling at the sound, Damien growls, “Somebody better be dead…what is it, EDI?” 

Sounding hesitant, “I’m sorry Captain; however, Liara is requesting your help with our new crew mate. He is refusing to talk to anyone except you, sir.”

“Let Liara know that I will be down in a few minutes, EDI.”

“Will do, logging you out, Shepard.”

Resting his head on Kaidan’s shoulder trying to bring his body back under control, he groans when Kaidan starts to refasten his uniform top. Raising his head, he grabs Kaidan’s face and kisses him and mumbles an apology. 

Finishing up with redressing Damien, Kaidan says, “The burden of command. I understand.”

“Come with me. I don’t want to be separated from you.” Damien says as he starts to button up Kaidan’s uniform in return. 

Kaidan groans when Damien brushes against his erection and winks at him as he buckles his belt. Shaking his head to clear his lustful thoughts, he says, “Mmm, as much as I want to be near you, I’m going to decline. I don’t think Javik likes me too much. He kept giving me strange looks on the shuttle.” 

“I don’t think he likes any of us. We are primitives to him.”

“Except you being able to speak his language, that will probably put you at a higher level than the rest of us. You are also the Captain, the one in charge. That also may make a difference. Either way, I’ll stay here, move in, make myself comfortable in our quarters, get some work done, and be waiting for you when you return.” 

Damien groans and pushes Kaidan up against the nearest wall, kissing him breathless, and trails his lips across his jaw and down his neck to his pulse point and nips his neck, while exploring his body with his hands, ending on his ass and squeezing, “Gods! When you said ‘our’ quarters, it just made me want to ravish you right here.”

His voice smoldering with need, Kaidan huskily says, “Go, Damien. Do what you need to do. Hurry back. Don’t make me wait long.”

Giving him one last kiss, lingering within his lovers arms, Damien sighs. Taking a step back, he smiles at his boyfriend, “I won’t be long.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

{{{}}}

Leaving Kaidan in their quarters was difficult, especially the sexy version of his boyfriend; aroused with bruised swollen lips, from their passion for each other. But, what was really shocking was the separation anxiety that he felt that morning, didn’t trigger that life-sucking weight of the war feeling he had felt earlier that day. In fact it was completely gone. It may be him coming to terms with the knowledge that he loves Kaidan, or knowing that he is still someone worth loving in return, or that they now have a place they can call theirs, or maybe it’s a combination of all three. But, more than anything it is probably the overwhelming feeling of happiness that comes over him as he descends in the elevator. Happiness as defined as, absolute joy and exhilaration, for finding someone he can share a life with…to fight for…to win the war for…and to stay alive for…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ‘Get away from my boyfriend, you bastard!’ is a restructure of the famous Aliens quote of ‘Get away from her, you bitch!’ I thought it was appropriate. Plus, I think of the Atlas as more of a guy than a girl. :P
> 
> I apologize I have not posted anything for awhile on this story...I've been focusing on my other fanfiction story, 'Silent Unspeakable Memories.' Check it out if you want to read a Joker/Femshep romance.


	10. New Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is rated 'E' for explicit content and is NSFW. Thank you for all the kudos and comments.
> 
> I want to give a shout out to Snowybiscuit for their continued support of this story and their dedication to having my grammar match my content. Sometimes as I write, I don't stop to check. So, thank you. 
> 
> Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. I must have rewrote the scene at the end 10 times before finally feeling as though it was ready to post. I wanted to make sure that Damien and Kaidan's first time had the fireworks that they both deserved after waiting so long to be together. Plus, I wanted to make sure that it didn't come off as being a cheap thrill. This is supposed to be true love, folks. Hope you like it.

In transit to the engineering deck where Liara had decided to transform the Port Cargo hold into Commander Javik’s new quarters, EDI slows the lift and informs Damien that he has an urgent call from Admiral Hackett in the war room. After taking a detour to the command deck, Damien limps off to the war room to answer the call. Five minutes later after being ordered by Admiral Hackett to find out if Commander Javik knew of anything that may help them win the war against the Reapers, Damien switches gears and as he is making his way back to the elevator, he gets another urgent message from Liara. Apparently, Javik had barricaded himself inside his room after expelling the marine guards with force, putting everyone on high alert. Blowing out a breath of frustration, Damien meets Garrus, who was also informed of the situation, at the elevator in the CIC to ride down to the fourth level to help disband the hostilities. As soon as the elevator doors open, they are met with quite a sight. 

A green sheen of energy is rippling across the entrance to the Port Cargo hold, with an obviously angry Prothean pacing at the entrance just inside the room, mumbling to himself about ‘fucking primitives.’ By the obvious confusion on everyone’s face; Liara and the six armed marines standing in the hallway, they couldn’t understand a word that Javik was saying. Liara was glowing blue with a biotic barrier and had her hands up, one facing Javik and the other at the marines; as she’s planted herself between them, telling everyone to stand down. Taking one look at Garrus, who raises a brow plate at him and nods him forward, Damien huffs in irritation and says with authority, “Stand down everyone! What is going on here?”

Liara lets her barrier go, releasing her energy as soon as Damien and Garrus make their way to her side as they pass through the marines. “I’ve tried to make the room more accommodating, but they,” glaring at the marines, “Won’t let me talk to him.”

Looking at Lt Young, Damien says, “Explain, Lt.”

Looking nervous, Young shuffles his feet and says, “Apologies, sir, contact protocol with a new species, is to assume hostility. We had to dust off the regulations…probably made back during the First Contact War.” Suddenly realizing what he just said, he gapes at Garrus, their Turian executive officer, and blushes in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Commander, I didn’t mean anything by my statement… uh…shit.” 

Huffing and shaking his head, Garrus just waves his hand at the Lt and he shuts up. ‘Assume hostility’…indeed. Thirty years after the First Contact War and the Alliance is still using stupid racist regulations that attributed to their respective species; Turians and Humans, going to war with each other in the first place. How times have changed…Not. Or, at least Garrus thought they had, especially with him as XO on a human designed warship. Or maybe it was just Shepard that had changed the times…with his complete trust in his crew, no matter the species. 

Watching the exchange, Damien shrugs and shakes his head, then looks back at Javik who has stopped his pacing and was staring at them, assessing everything. 

Liara says not understanding the nuance of the exchange between Lt. Young and Garrus, “But he is not new. I’ve spent my life studying Protheans.”

“At ease…I don’t think our guest will be a problem. Will he?” Damien says walking up to the barrier of green energy still rippling across the open door.

Still assessing everyone, Javik steps through his own barrier and says, “That depends on you…” and grabs him by the arms extending his energy to engulf Damien making him stiffen at the intrusion, as he ruffles through his mind, which in turn puts everyone on high alert. Reacting instantly, Garrus puts a hand out towards the marine detail and they pause in rushing to their Captain’s aid as they watch him writhe in discomfort within the green energy. 

Continuing to rifle through his mind, Javik says, “For a soldier facing the Reapers, I sense…more confidence than fear. You believe you are winning.”

Separating after Javik releases him, Damien releases a sigh in relief after the strange energy dissipates and asks, “What do you mean, you sense?” 

Assessing the group of them again with his four eyes, Javik releases his barrier across the door and says, “Your crew is loyal. You obviously are a man of honor.” With that declaration he turns his back on them and walks back into the room, leaving the invitation clear that it’s alright to enter and follow him. 

Turning toward the marines and Garrus, Damien assures everyone, “I’m alright. You are all dismissed. Return to your work stations.” After returning their salutes, he waits as the marines disburse and turns towards Garrus, “I got word from Admiral Hackett. We have orders…please inform Joker that we need to go to the Horsehead Nebula to visit a Cerberus fighter base on our favorite ice planet of Noveria.”

Garrus lets out a huff of disbelief, “Ugh! Seriously? I hoped to never visit that hell hole ever again. Permission to not be on the ground team for that one…” he shivers in remembrance of their last visit during the hunt for Saren. 

Since Turians were technically allergic to the cold, Damien grins slightly and nods, “Noted.”

Watching the exchange, Liara nods at Damien and says, “I also would rather not be in on that one. If you recall, I don’t have a lot of fond memories of that place, either.”

Looking at Liara, Damien puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes, “I understand. I wasn’t going to ask…”

Smiling briefly, Liara nods her head and after waving at Garrus, she walks into the Port Cargo hold to wait for Damien to continue their conversation with Javik. 

Watching Liara walk away, Damien says to Garrus, “I’m on orders from Chakwas for light duty for a couple of days, or at least until my leg heals. So, tell Joker to take his time. Since we had to use our stealth mode on Eden Prime, I’m sure we need to discharge and find some fuel. We may as well…”

Nodding his head, Garrus says, “I’ll take care of it…” Smirking at his friend, he leans in and quietly says, “Maybe take this ‘light duty’ order from the Doc to oh…you know…take care of business with Kaidan…” 

Damien raises an eyebrow at him, and says quietly, “What makes you think I haven’t already?”

Garrus huffs at him, “Seriously? Did you forget that I’m a Turian, Shepard…I can smell you.”

Damien laughs and rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment, “Right.”

“Idiot.”

Damien jerks his head back and looks at him, “Hey!” 

Garrus chortles at him. “You are allowed to take a day or two off, you know. I’m sure Kaidan can help you with it, if you need extra incentive…” clicking his mandibles in amusement, when Damien reddens. “Come on, Shepard. I know that you never took a minute for yourself during our 24 hours leave on the Citadel…”

Rolling his eyes, Damien waves him off and says, “Neither did you, Garrus…but as subtle as you think you are, I agree with you. After I take care of this situation, consider yourself in charge. Or at least until something that needs my attention comes up. Satisfied?”

“Roger that.” Before walking away, Garrus adds with a smirk, “Have fun blowing off steam.” 

“Garrus…” Damien says warningly, which only makes his best friend laugh at him. 

Never tired of making his best friend, the most feared warrior in the galaxy, turn every shade of red in embarrassment, Garrus walks away chuckling at his expense. Seeing his friend shake his head at him and flip him off, only makes Garrus laugh louder as he walks into the elevator. 

Taking one last look at his chortling Turian friend, Damien walks into Javik’s quarters to await his explanation regarding this sensory ability of his.

After hearing the doors close behind the Captain, Javik turns around and looks at his visitors, his four eyes flitting between the two of them, assessing them, and answers the earlier question. “All life provides clues for those that can read them. It is in your cells…your DNA. Experience is a biological marker.” 

“Then what exactly did I experience back on Eden Prime? That was a hell of a flashback.” Damien asks as he remembers the images Javik instilled within him during their brief contact back on the planet.

Looking down at his hands, Javik explains, “The battle left its own mark on me. I communicated this to you. It can work both ways.”

“Like your beacons,” Liara says joining the conversation.

“Yes. Which…” Javik walks to Damien and grabs his arms, closing his eyes. Suddenly the images of what the Prothean beacon instilled into Damien’s mind those few years ago back on Eden Prime came rushing back in flashes of death and pain, leaving him gasping until Javik releases him and stands back, looking at him oddly. “…You found one,” he says in his strangely accented voice. Then he frowns, “You saw it all, our destruction, and our warnings…why weren’t they heeded? Why didn’t you prepare for the Reapers, human?”

“It’s Captain…and nobody could understand your warnings. The beacon nearly killed me.” Damien gasps after leaning over and bracing his hands on his knees. Liara lays a hand on his shoulder, her expression concerned. Damien nods at her and she releases him and steps back. 

Observing their brief contact, Javik huffs and walks over to the sink filled with water to wash his hands, “Then communication is still primitive in this cycle.”

Ignoring Javik’s flippant statement, Damien explains, “We pieced together what we could and used it to stop a Reaper invasion three years ago.” Catching Liara looking at him, he smiles at her, remembering that because of her, they were able to put together the puzzle pieces of the message of that beacon imprint and other such messages they picked up along the way and ultimately stopped the invasion. 

Javik turns around and looks at him and Liara, “Then the extinction was delayed.”

Damien nods. 

After discovering that Javik didn’t know anything about ‘The Crucible’ device or anything having to do with the catalyst, Liara changes the topic of their conversation and finally gives in to her curiosity about Javik’s long dead culture. Happy to see a semblance of the Liara that Damien had originally fallen for; Liara the Archeologist and expert on everything Prothean and not the cold blooded ‘Shadow Broker’ persona, Damien lets her take the lead. 

Listening, Damien flashes back to the memory that Javik imbued upon him after meeting him and the strange phenomena that he experienced. Jerking back to the present, he narrows his eyes to contemplate Javik’s request to join the fight alongside him and his crew, so he can avenge his comrades long dead. Witnessing, even by proxy, the few memories of what happened to Javik; Damien recognizes his need for vengeance more than anyone, especially after losing his own fair share of friends who have died for the cause. Deciding to take a chance on Javik’s request, so long as Javik can fight by his side, taking his orders without letting his need for vengeance endanger his crew, Damien accepts. 

After declaring, ‘The last thing the Reapers hear before they die will be the last voice of the Protheans sending them to their grave,’ Javik reverts to talking to him in Prothean, completely ignoring any more attempts from Liara to ask him questions about his people and culture. 

Not realizing that Javik has reverted to his own language until Liara touches his shoulder and looks at him in exasperation, Damien asks Javik why he doesn’t want Liara to hear them speak and in response, Javik huffs out in aggravation, turning his back on him; like an angry child. 

Rolling his eyes, he shrugs at Liara when she looks at him questioningly. Rubbing his face with his hands, he supposes Javik has the right to be angry. Hell, what’s been 50,000 years to them, has been just hours to Javik. He needs time to decompress…to understand what he’s woken up to. More than anything, he imagines that Javik just needs time to adjust to the fact that his whole species is now extinct, except for him. Thanking the Spirits that he himself lost only two years, compared to what Javik just woke up to, holy fuck! Javik has every right to react however he wants. Suddenly angry child seems mild, compared to what they could have gotten out of him. Wincing at the thought, Damien really can’t blame the guy for being difficult. 

With that thought in mind, Damien turns to Liara and says, “Let’s give Javik some space. It’s been a long day, or in his case 50,000 years. I think your questions can wait, don’t you think so?”

Looking at the alive Prothean in the room, still ignoring them, Liara turns back and nods at him in understanding, “I suppose you are right, Shepard.” Turning toward Javik, she says, “If you need anything, Commander, please feel free to contact me.” Not receiving anything from him other than a quiet grunt, she turns back to Shepard and says, “See you later, Shepard,” and leaves, letting the door to the Port Cargo hold close behind her. 

After watching Liara leave, Damien turns towards Javik to see that he has turned around to acknowledge him. “I will let you get comfortable,” Damien says deciding that he too should leave the Prothean alone. Giving him a short bow like the Turians do in respect of a fellow comrade, he adds, “It is an honor to have you here with us, Commander. I look forward to having you fight by my side.” 

Javik blinks at him and reciprocates the gesture. It seems that even a 50,000 year old Prothean can understand a gesture of respect.

“We are in transit to our next assignment and if you are willing, I would like you to accompany me ground side as part of my squad. Our enemy is the same as that on Eden Prime…Cerberus. My XO, Garrus, can give you intel on who they are and why they are considered our enemies in this conflict. Plus, it will allow us to see if our fighting styles are compatible with yours. It is several days out, however, so if you need time to adjust and get used to this cycle, then please make yourself at home.”

Just as he is about to leave, Javik takes a step forward and quietly asks, “Captain…?”

Turning back around to face him, Damien says, “Yes?”

“May I accompany you as you do your rounds? I would like to get to know my surroundings and crewmates,” Javik says hesitantly. “Plus…it pleases me to have someone I can speak to in my cycle’s language…it helps me adjust…” Javik cuts himself off looking confused, as if his sudden need to ask a primitive for help is beneath him.

Deciding not to touch that one…Damien nods and says, “Sure. I would like the company,” and leads the way.

{{{}}} 

Damien yawns and leans against the back of the elevator, as he ascends the few floors to his cabin. Who knew that talking to a 50,000 year old Prothean would be so exhausting? Ending up in the Port Observation Lounge and looking out at the stars as they passed them by in FTL travel, they had talked about the culture of this cycle, until Javik had finally asked for some alone time and left to return to his quarters. Before returning to his, Damien had visited with Liara to see if she was okay. Liara had been over the moon or as Joker mentioned bouncing with excitement. ‘Had’ being the operative word…that is…since it seemed that the reality of who Javik was or was turning out to be, really put a hamper on what she had perceived through her studies. Damien had to give Liara credit, though. She was a real trooper…especially regarding the fact that to her the coolest thing about their guest was that she now had a chance to study and learn a 50,000 year old dead language. 

Thinking about the last couple of hours, Damien shakes his head in consternation about his crew’s reaction to Javik and his strange sensory ability. Talk about awkward…within moments, Javik could read the crew’s whole life history after just briefly touching them. This was demonstrated on him, actually. While in the elevator on their way down to the cargo bay, Javik had picked up on what was waiting for him up in his cabin. After an uncomfortable silence when Javik asked him why he would mate with someone incapable of carrying his young, Damien had to explain about love and passion. That was uncomfortable, to put it mildly. Damien grimaced. Who knew that waking up this morning; he would have to give a birds and bees discussion to a Prothean. Will wonders never cease? 

Other than making another ally, not quite a friend, yet, there was one advantage to taking Javik on a tour of the Normandy and meeting the ground team. Damien doesn’t have to have that talk with Garrus anymore about Tali. Javik had picked up right away that Garrus was pining after someone who could technically procreate with him and asked why Garrus had never done so since it was plain from their mixed memories of the young Quarian that she obviously wanted him in return. Laughing at his best friend’s surprise and stubborn facial expression, Damien had to cough a few times to cover his continued amusement when Garrus tried to deny his true feelings for Tali. Javik wouldn’t take any of Garrus’ bullshit, however, and ended up shaking his head in disgust and calling Garrus a ‘stupid predatory primitive.’ 

Not able to keep in his amusement, Damien laughed uproariously when all Garrus did was glare at the both of them. When, Garrus went to grab a weapon, though, Damien decided enough was enough and decided that moving on with their impromptu tour of the Normandy was the best course of action. Acting quickly, not wanting to incur the wrath of Garrus, which he will get in trouble later for saying out loud, Damien motioned for Javik to precede him down the gangway that led to the mess. Before following, he caught his friend’s gesture of wrapping a noose around his head and hanging himself with it and pointing at him, before turning away. Wincing slightly, Damien hurried after Javik just as the Main Battery doors shut, but not before an angry Turian voice promised retribution and that they would be having a conversation later. 

Another surprising encounter was between Javik and Doc Chakwas. Javik had the same reaction to her that he did; pure stubbornness when it comes to being examined. Not really surprised that the mentality of soldiers of not liking Doctors hasn’t changed much in 50,000 years, what happened in the med bay was pretty funny. When the Doc had politely asked Javik to sit on a bio-bed to be scanned, Javik had refused outright. When the Doc had tried to scan him anyway with her omni-tool, he had backed away and threatened to throw her out the airlock if she touched a scale on him. All Chakwas did was stare him down without blinking in reaction to his threat, not budging on getting what she wanted. Apparently seeing this, Javik had begrudgingly given in to her request and cooperated. After being banished from the med bay, Damien had paced agitatedly outside the doors, ready at a moment’s notice if any violence was to ensue. Thinking back, he wonders who he would have had to defend against; the Doctor or the Prothean warrior, both being formidable in their own way. Within 10 minutes, Chakwas opened the doors to let him back in and Javik joined him grumbling about ‘stubborn maniac doctors.’ When the Doc nodded at him that they were free to go he turned quickly to lead the way back to the elevator trying not to laugh when he catches Chakwas grumbling in return about ‘stubborn vengeful ancients.’ 

After only a few minutes from meeting EDI, whom Javik ignored, and Joker in the bridge, Damien had again hastened their departure, especially after Joker being the smartass that he is, insisted in calling Javik, ‘Prothy the Prothean.’ Javik had responded by saying that if the ‘primitive pilot’ insisted on the name, then he would throw him out the airlock. Throwing someone out the airlock was apparently one of Javik’s favorite threats, and after telling him that he can’t throw any of his crew out the airlock, without his permission, making Joker frown at him, Damien hustled them out of the bridge as quickly as possible. 

All in all, Javik made quite an impact on his crew. He won’t make many friends with his blunt demeanor, but since the Normandy was a close-knit family, Damien hopes that eventually Javik will become comfortable enough to relax and let his walls down. Or at least let someone else in other than him. 

Stepping out into the entrance to his quarters, he sees that his door lock is on. Curious, Damien asks, “EDI, has Kaidan gone back to the Starboard Observation Lounge?”

“No, Shepard. Based on his biometrics, he is sleeping. He programmed the lock to engage whenever the cabin was occupied by either of you or both, for privacy. He didn’t want just anyone walking in, he said.”

Damien laughs, “Anyone in particular, he was referring to?”

“He didn’t say. However, he was mumbling about someone who was nosey. I think he is referring to our helmsman.”

Damien laughs again and says, “Possibly. Let’s keep this between us, EDI.”

“No worries, Captain. I understand. The doors are programmed to open only for the both of you. Waive your hand over the lock and it will open.”

Damien does exactly as instructed and walks into his quarters and pauses when he sees the lights are on low and there is a lump in the bed with a pillow for a head. Laughing low, Damien walks back out to the entrance and lowers his voice. “EDI, turn the lights off in the cabin and lower the fish tank lights to a minimum, please.”

Whispering in return, EDI responds, “Done.”

“That will be all for the evening, EDI. Please do not disturb us until the morning, unless we have a priority message come in. I believe I deserve a little bit of a break.”

“Sounds like a great idea, Captain. I’ll inform any crew member that Garrus is in charge until you return to duty.”

“Thanks, you are a true friend, EDI. That will be all.”

“You are welcome, Shepard. Logging you out.”

{{{}}}

After being quiet in his evening ritual in the bathroom and noticing the new aftershave and shampoos that must be Kaidan’s personal preference, Damien grins and disrobes on the way to the bed. Loving the notion that Kaidan technically lives with him now, he takes a minute to just enjoy the view, a view that he will be able to indulge in again and again in the coming months, now that they have finally gotten together. Looking down at the love of his life, he smiles and shakes his head at his boyfriend while he sleeps lying on his side, diagonal, with his head buried under a pillow. Obviously, his assessment that morning that Kaidan is a bed hog was accurate. 

Sitting on the bed next to him, Damien takes the datapad that Kaidan had been reading as he waited for him to return, before falling asleep, and sets it next to the raspberry flavored lube, the Doctor had so graciously given them, on the nightstand. Knowing he hadn’t placed it there; the fact that the lube was out, was a clear indication that Kaidan had planned on using it in some way before they went to sleep. Smirking a little at the idea, Damien gently lifts the pillow off Kaidan’s face and sets it behind him. Glad the lights of the fish tank reached the bed, Damien leans over and brushes his fingers down Kaidan’s face, hard coding the contours to memory. He pauses in his exploration when Kaidan exhales and murmurs his name as he flops over onto his other side, switching to lie diagonal the other way. Laughing softly, Damien gently lifts the covers to slide in behind Kaidan, groaning a bit when he notices that his sexy boyfriend is sleeping in the nude. Good. Easier that way, Damien thinks to himself. 

As Damien molds his naked body to Kaidan's, he sneaks his bottom arm under his neck and wraps the other around his waist. Using his hands to mold Kaidan’s body to his, he nuzzles into his neck at his pulse point, making him moan in his sleep. Although, it would be easy to fall asleep, especially after the day they just had, he can’t help himself as he positions his aching cock between Kaidan’s ass cleft and slowly pumps his hips, making Kaidan murmur in his sleep and arch into him. Wanting to take things slowly so he can savor every second, Damien hums into Kaidan’s neck as he kisses him. Moving him gently to get to the back of his neck, Damien blows air over Kaidan’s amp port, making him gasp. Knowing that he is extremely sensitive, which most biotics are around their implant site, himself included, Damien gently nuzzles the spot, eliciting a low growl. Feeling bolder, Damien starts to gently trail a hand down Kaidan’s body, taking special care to outline every indentation, every contour of his muscles, all the way down to his cock, which has hardened. Taking him in hand, he times the strokes of his hand along Kaidan’s length with his gentle licking and suckling of his amp port. With a small jolt, Kaidan awakens as he begins to glow. Angling his neck, so Damien has better access, Kaidan grabs the bed with one hand and Damien with the other and gasps out, “Faster…Oh Gods…” 

Increasing his ministrations, Damien nips his neck and Kaidan tenses just as his biotics flare out and he orgasms into his hand. Breathing heavily after being awakened in the best possible way, Kaidan angles his head towards Damien and turns slightly to catch his lips in a lingering kiss, moaning into his mouth as their tongues meld. Pulling away a few inches, Kaidan cups Damien’s face and rubs his thumb over his lips. Pulling him forward once again to kiss him briefly, savoring the taste of him, Kaidan huskily says, “Hello.”

Damien chuckles and leans forward to indulge in his mouth again, sliding his tongue inside to explore his boyfriend’s mouth, before pulling back to suck on his lower lip. Moaning loudly when Kaidan rakes his hands through his close cropped hair to cup the back of his neck, he lays his forehead upon his and asks huskily, “Sleep well?”

Kaidan hums a yes as swirls of dark energy alight his eyes showing his arousal when he watches Damien lift his hand still glistening with his spent seed to his mouth, proceeding to lick the cum off of his fingers. Pausing, Damien slows down when he notices that Kaidan is watching every stroke of his tongue around his fingers, intently. Moaning at the taste of him, he relishes every last drop and doesn’t stop until his hand is clean. 

“Something on my face?” Damien teases him afterwards when Kaidan keeps staring at him. 

Kaidan grabs him and kisses the breath out of him, tasting himself on his lips. Parting when they both need air, Kaidan wraps a leg over Damien’s hip to bring him closer, and breathlessly says, “I want you. I want to feel you inside of me.”

Moaning, Damien wraps his arms around Kaidan as they gently thrust their cocks against each other. Even though he wants to be with Kaidan in that way…desperately so…Damien is still worried that he’ll hurt him. “I don’t want to hurt you, Kaidan.” Looking down at himself, he winces and says, “I’m not exactly small.”

Kaidan smirks at him suggestively and licks his lips as he bucks his hips into him, making Damien groan, out loud. “You know, I think I’ve noticed that.”

Laughing at his aggressive boyfriend, Damien rolls his eyes and says, “Smartass.”

Kaidan stills his thrusting and cups his chin to kiss him gently, “You’re not going to hurt me Damien.” 

“You’re sure?”

“Trust me…this isn’t my first rodeo.”

Damien scoffs and pulls away to sit up. Pulling the sheet to cover his aching cock, he leans against the stack of pillows and says his brow furrowed, “Thanks. Remind me that you’ve been with other guys.”

“And women too,” Kaidan says as he also sits up and wraps his arms around his bent knees after covering his lap. 

“Really?”

“Uh…yeah, a few Asari as well.”

Surprised, Damien mumbles to himself and then says, “Huh, I didn’t know you were such a player, Kaidan.” 

Kaidan looks at him and notices that Damien is looking a little uncomfortable. Confused as to why that might be, his eyes suddenly widen and he gapes. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” Damien says a little too quickly.

Kaidan laughs and when Damien huffs at him, he scoots closer to him and snuggles into his arms. Damien encircles his around him and they move to lay close again, slightly leaning back into the softness of the pillows. With Damien’s slightly larger frame wrapped around him, Kaidan feels safe and secure and buries his face into Damien’s neck as he encircles his arms around his waist. Reaching up to cup the back of his neck, he brings him closer to brush his lips against his. When Damien groans and tries to deepen the kiss, he releases him just enough to say, “I love you, Damien. You are it for me. No one else has ever held a candle to you, my love.”

Damien mewls against his lips and lets him take the lead as they once again let their desire for each other takeover. Kaidan runs his hands over Damien’s back and down over his ass. Feeling a slight roughness to his skin over his hipbone, Kaidan kisses Damien again before separating enough to slide down his body and take a look. Stilling, Damien lets Kaidan check out the design of the tattoo that he got on the Citadel just after being awakened so abruptly last year. After being stonewalled by the Council once again and getting nowhere with Anderson about how to contact Kaidan, he hightailed it to a bar to drown his anger and frustration. Once Miranda left in a huff about soiling his new organs with Krogan liquor, he ditched Jacob and ended up at a tattoo parlor he knew about and got the one on his hip. The only one that really mattered to him, actually, even though the Alliance was important, too. Only, it wasn’t really the Alliance itself, but, more that it was where he had met Kaidan. 

Shivering as Kaidan outlines the image of the dog tags with his service number on them, Kaidan leans down and kisses the tattoo and then looks up at him with love in his eyes and smiles. Moving to match Kaidan’s posture only opposite so their faces are on the same level, Damien leans in to kiss him briefly, saying, “I love you too. Even back then, I knew you were mine, Kaidan.” Kissing him again, he whispers after they separate to look into each other’s eyes, “And, I’m yours.”

“Damn, right.”

Damien smiles and then yelps when Kaidan suddenly stands up to walk to the bathroom. Enjoying the view of Kaidan traipsing across their quarters buck naked, he leans his head on his elbow to wait for him to return to their bed. Remembering how he came undone within his arms earlier, he starts to stroke his hardened cock. Wondering what it will feel like to be enclosed within Kaidan’s succulent ass, Damien moans out loud and stops himself from finishing, wanting to do just that as Kaidan returns with a bunch of towels in his hands. 

“Don’t stop on my account. I love watching you come.”

Damien groans and looks up at his fully aroused boyfriend, “I want to come inside you.”

Kaidan smirks at him, “Trust me, I want that to. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“I’m ready.”

“I know. But, I’m not.” When Damien is about to say something, Kaidan raises a hand and says, “Before you say anything, yes, I want you inside me…but you need to prepare me first. It’s been a long time.” Kaidan says dumping the towels on the edge of the bed and sitting next to him.

“How long?”

Raising an eyebrow at him, Kaidan explains, “Before I met you on the SR1, actually.”

Looking surprised, Damien asks, “It’s been that long for you?”

Taking a big breath, Kaidan says, “Yeah.”

“Really? No one night stands?” Damien asks again, disbelief in his voice.

“I told you once that I don’t do those or at least I don’t take relations lightly. Remember?”

Straightening, Damien leans into him and kisses him quickly before settling back to lean against his elbow, again. Smirking at Kaidan at his quick intake of breath, Damien lets his other hand trail a path down Kaidan’s thigh, from groin to knee, leaving goose bumps in its wake. “I remember. It’s just hard to believe, that’s all.”

“Why?” Kaidan asks huskily as he closes his eyes in ecstasy as Damien gently brushes against his cock as he navigates another pass of his hand down his leg. 

“Because, you are sexy as hell and uh…I can’t seem to stop touching you.”

Kaidan laughs and groans when Damien gently takes him in hand before moving his fingers to stroke upward, making him shiver as he strokes up his abs and chest, gently tweaking his sensitive nipples before brushing against his clavicle and then traveling up his neck, pausing at his pulse point briefly before retreating down an arm. Finally able to form words, Kaidan says, “I thought the same thing when you told me it had been three years for you. I thought Liara was crazy not to be with you, every chance you got to be together.” Giving Damien a smoldering look, he adds, “I know I would never let you out of bed without giving you pleasure.” 

Groaning at the imagery, Damien pulls Kaidan down on top of him and huskily tells him, “I guess we are going to be really busy, then.”

Grinding his cock against him, Kaidan moans and kisses him hungrily, “I guess we are.”

Biotically lifting his boyfriend to position him against the pillows, Damien sits up and leans over to grab the bottle of lube and returns to lie against Kaidan, returning to their earlier position of limbs entwined. Taking Kaidan’s face in his hands, he lingers on his lips and then suckles on his bottom lip. Then he rubs his goatee against his cheek, and moves to whisper into his lover’s ear. “Relax, babe. Let me take care of you.” Kaidan hums and gasps his breath hitching as Damien dips his head to nuzzle into his sensitive pulse point, enjoying the feel of their sweat slickened skin against each other, before inhaling his lover’s masculine scent. 

Taking the lead, Damien gently nudges Kaidan’s leg to move higher up his waist, so he has better access. Grabbing the lube, Damien squeezes out a small amount into one hand and gently runs his lubed fingers against Kaidan’s hole coating the outside enough that he is able to gently slide in a finger. Kaidan tenses slightly and Damien pauses. He kisses him, again, and when Kaidan whimpers against him, he continues to prepare Kaidan again by pumping his finger within his hot depths. Able to fit another finger inside, Kaidan starts to arch into his hand, panting and moaning. When he lies back to give Damien better access, Damien flips the angle of his thrusts with his hand, slipping in a third finger and presses against Kaidan’s prostrate, making the man yelp in ecstasy. Scissoring his fingers to widen Kaidan’s passage, Damien watches the many facial expressions flash across his lover’s face as he moans and closes his eyes at the sheer ecstasy of Damien’s actions. Wanting to see the same expressions on his face when he’s inside him, Damien pauses and asks, “Are you ready for me, my love? I don’t think I can wait any longer. I’m about ready to burst, I want you so badly.”

Kaidan opens his lust filled eyes, completely engulfed within swirls of dark energy and huskily says, “Fuck me, Damien. Please…oh please…right now.”

Damien lubes himself up and positions his cock at Kaidan’s entrance, “Talk to me Kaidan, tell me if this feels good, or if you need time to adjust, or…AHHHH!”

Kaidan had taken the lead while Damien had been talking to him and after holding his legs apart, he had pushed himself onto his lover's glistening head. Feeling stretched even further than Damien’s three fingers had stretched him, he thought that he would feel pain, but just the fact that it was Damien’s cock was enough to help alleviate some of his anxiety. This was something he had wanted forever, it seemed. Going slow, he arches into the hard cock another inch and almost cries at the ecstatic sensations. His control slipping on his biotics, he lights up, encasing himself and Damien with blue fire as Damien’s cock slips past his tight ring. “Oh Gods…mmm…slowly…” Kaidan says after seeing Damien hesitate. 

Damien pushes his head in further and pauses again when Kaidan groans. Not knowing if the groan was in pain or not, Damien is about to pull out, when Kaidan stops him and shakes his head. Not having the brain power to express himself, he pulses his energy through them to help them both relax and says, “More.”

Taking him at this word, Damien obeys and continues to sheath himself within Kaidan’s hot depths all the way till he hilts. Pausing to just enjoy Kaidan’s silky walls, Damien groans when Kaidan starts to move his hips. 

Feeling fuller than he has ever felt before, Kaidan grinds up against Damien’s beautiful cock and grabs Damien’s face, making him open his eyes and look at him. Kissing him briefly, he demands, “Move.”

Damien grunts, “As my Major commands,” and starts to move. As Kaidan meets him thrust for thrust, it doesn’t take long for them to completely lose their minds at the sheer bliss they share of being together. 

The amount of ecstasy that comes over him as he grinds into his lover is enough to set off his own biotics, which pulses into Kaidan and he groans right before coming onto his stomach and shortly after, only able to thrust a few more times, Damien joins him and comes deep inside.

Breathing heavily, Damien is about to pull out, when Kaidan pleads, his voice husky, “No…don’t…I want to feel you… I want to savor the feel of you inside me…please don’t leave me, my love.”

Nodding, Damien pulls out just enough to move one of Kaidan’s legs around his body and rearranges himself to lie behind, spooning him. Nuzzling his neck again, he licks the salt off of him and murmurs sweet nothings into his ear. 

Shivering slightly, as Damien kisses his neck, Kaidan groans and reaches back to grind Damien’s hips into him, further deepening his cock within him. After being so thoroughly fucked and coming a second time for the evening, Kaidan is not really surprised that he’s still horny for the man behind him, currently suckling on his neck and taking shallow thrusts, since he is now semi-hard. 

Since both of them has been going without for so long, Kaidan knows that it will take a while before either of them will be willing to stop at only one orgasm a night. With them, it will definitely be more. With that thought in mind and loving the feeling of Damien’s now hard cock, throbbing within him, he cleans himself off with a corner of the sheet and starts thrusting himself upon him, testing to see what Damien will do.

Chuckling low at his eager boyfriend, Damien wraps his arm under Kaidan’s leg next to him to raise it up and curls into him to give himself a better angle to thrust deeper within him. They both groan when they begin to thrust together in tune with each other’s needs. With the new position of being sideways, Damien is able to intermittently kiss Kaidan as they make love. Pausing briefly, making Kaidan moan, he brings Kaidan’s forehead to his and says, “You are mine now, Kaidan. Forever.” He then begins to move within him again, and Kaidan cries out when he slides his hand down to start to stroke him, timing his thrusts with his hand. 

Keeping Damien close to him, Kaidan’s eyes glow with his dark energy again. Watching, their shared desire and ecstasy flash across Damien’s face, which he probably mirrors, Kaidan says, “Come inside me, babe. Fill me up. I want to watch you lose control…mmm…faster, babe…Oh Gods, like that…mmm.” When Damien starts adding a twist to his thrusts that brushes against his prostate, he loses all control and his biotics flash across their quarters, bathing the room in blue light, with each thrust. His eyes close, tears streaking down his face, completely overwhelmed by the amount of white hot ecstasy that engulfs him and Kaidan shudders before coming hard into Damien’s hand. Barely able to stay conscious, Kaidan opens his eyes to watch his lover and squeezes around Damien’s cock to further stimulate him. He smiles dreamily when he hears Damien shout out just as he comes inside him, coating him with hot jets of cum.

Barely able to move, his lethargic body wanting to spend every moment besides his lover’s welcoming body, Damien begrudgingly slides out of Kaidan, making him moan at the loss and grab the few towels still at the edge. The others long since getting knocked to the floor from their lovemaking. Gently, Damien dries off Kaidan’s stomach and flaccid cock and then cleans as much as he can reach of his passage, before cleaning himself with another towel. Dropping the soiled towels on the floor, not caring about the mess, he snuggles up to his dozing boyfriend and pulls him into his arms. Feeling completely replete and happy by just holding the man of his dreams in his arms after giving him two consecutive orgasms in a row and him too, from just being inside of him, Damien nuzzles into him and wipes the tears from his lover's face, before softly telling him how much he loves him. 

Feeling completely relaxed, Kaidan opens his eyes and murmurs his love for the amazing man who is holding him as if he is the most precious thing in the known galaxy. Feeling his heart swell with the amount of love he feels in this moment, he responds to Damien’s words from earlier. “You are mine, as well. Always.”

Damien smiles at him and closes his eyes only when Kaidan snuggles into him, trying to get as close as possible and drifts off, feeling safe within his lover’s arms. 

{{{}}}

For the rest of the night, they would intermittently doze wrapped around each other and when awake, they would take turns giving each other orgasms; orally or by hand. As far as Kaidan was concerned, the few times they went beyond and indulged their desire to make love again, he was perfectly happy to oblige by being the bottom in their relationship. Having Damien’s beautiful cock deep within him, was ecstasy on its own. If Damien never wanted to be the bottom himself, than Kaidan was perfectly happy to do so; since just being with him in any way, was making Kaidan the happiest man in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, now that you've read all the sexy bits, what do you think? Did I do good? Either way, I wanted to thank you all for your continued support in my endeavor to bring these characters to life. It's been fun... 
> 
> Side note: Even though it's been a while since my last posting on this story, I haven't just written one chapter, but almost three. So, to answer one of my received comments; I'm not done with this story, yet. I'll be posting another chapter again, soon. :)


	11. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the comments and kudos. This chapter is NSFW.
> 
> ~I really wasn't expecting to post another chapter this soon, but had the chance to write today. This chapter is not one of the ones that I mentioned in the A/N in the previous chapter. So, again, I will say...stay tuned, because I hope to post those sooner rather than later.

Awakened to the sound of the door closing and perking up at the smell of coffee, Damien moans and opens one eye to search for the source. Laying on his stomach, spread eagled it seems after falling asleep from their last bout of sex; Damien reaches out for Kaidan and finds he is alone in the bed. Panicking at first, he calms as soon as his boyfriend comes into view wearing only the bottoms to his sweats as he sets down two trays of food on the coffee table. 

Seeing that Damien is awake and watching him, Kaidan sits on the edge of the bed next to him and leans in to kiss his lips, “Morning.”

Sitting up, Damien grabs Kaidan around the waist and tumbles him back into bed and wraps his arms around him. Running his hands over his back and up to cup his face, Damien runs a thumb over Kaidan’s bottom lip and says, “Mmm, morning.”

Chuckling when he recognizes arousal in his boyfriend’s eyes, Kaidan pushes him back a little to say, “Breakfast is ready now, Damien. You don’t want it to get cold, do you?”

“Fuck breakfast, I want you. You are more delicious and I can’t wait to taste you again.” Damien says as his own biotics swirl in his eyes as he runs his hands down Kaidan’s chest and rests on the elastic waist band of his sweatpants. Grumbling at the clothing barrier, he growls, “Off,” as he tugs at them. 

Knowing that he wants Damien to bring him to pleasure once again, Kaidan moans and says, “Let’s compromise, then. I’ll get naked and we eat breakfast in bed. I’m hungry. Deal?”

Tamping down his aroused beast mode, Damien nods when his own stomach growls and he pulls away to lean up against the pillows stacked behind him.

As Kaidan jumps out of bed and retrieves their breakfast trays from the coffee table and arranges them on the bed, Damien reflects back to their previous night together. Sometime during the night, they had changed the bed sheets after thoroughly soiling them, the towels on the floor being too far to reach as they clung to each other in ecstasy after feeding their hunger for each other. They had also taken a long hot shower together, lingering until the water grew cold. Eventually, they were able to pry themselves apart enough to stumble naked back to their bed before giving in to their need for each other again. Finally, over several more hours of exploring how far their passions ran, they eventually fell into dreamless sleep wrapped around each other, exhausted. 

After arranging their breakfast trays the way he wants them and getting a irritated grunt from Damien as he motions him to remove the offending item, his sweatpants, Kaidan does so and moves back onto the bed to sit next to his impatient boyfriend. When Damien growls and bodily moves him closer, almost sitting him in his lap, Kaidan laughs and kisses him, assuaging the beast. Before Damien can move things further, to start another round, Kaidan purrs, “What happened to compromising, babe?”

Grumbling, Damien finally concedes and calms his body from reacting to Kaidan’s closeness and stills him movements. However, he doesn’t move away and wraps his arm around his lover's waist, resting his head on Kaidan’s shoulder as he leans back against him. “I’ll behave,” Damien says and nips Kaidan’s neck when he scoffs, disbelieving him, since Damien has started to brush his fingertips along his side, ever so gently, making him shiver with pleasure at the slight touch. 

“Uh huh,” Kaidan says and moves to lay one of the trays over Damien’s lap, opening the side legs so it stands up. Then he does the same to the other one and set it over his lap. “…and voila, breakfast in bed.”

“Very romantic...” Damien says as he leans in to suckle on his shoulder. Running his tongue along Kaidan’s neck he nibbles his way up to his jawline and turns his head enough to kiss the corner of his mouth. Encouraged by Kaidan’s moan, he pulls him just enough to nibble on his lips until Kaidan gasps and opens his mouth. Damien takes advantage and explores his mouth with his tongue. 

Enjoying the assault, Kaidan groans and cups Damien’s face with his hands, angling his head so he can do some exploring of his own. Shivering when one of Damien’s hands slides down his chest to cup him through the sheet, Kaidan bucks into his hand, making the tray rattle a little. Distracted enough from the action, he pulls away and grabs Damien’s hand to stop him from stroking his cock. Indecision over pushing their trays aside to continue exploring their desire for each other or eating breakfast first, makes Kaidan hesitate long enough until his stomach makes the decision for him and he sighs. Taking a couple breaths to calm down, he says, “I need you to focus, Damien.” Admittedly, he says that more for himself than his insatiable boyfriend. 

Smiling wickedly at his boyfriend who is eyeing him like he is a tasty treat, Damien nibbles on his lips again and brushes a path up his chest with his hand, tweaking a nipple making Kaidan gasp, and huskily whispers, “I am focusing…on you.”

Groaning after hearing him say that, Kaidan reluctantly pulls away long enough to grab the insulated covers off over their plates and says trying to distract Damien, “There’s bacon...”

Chuckling, Damien stops his exploration and raises his hands in defeat, but before he can tease Kaidan for trying to distract him away from what he truly wants, Damien looks down at his breakfast and moans, “Waffles? Where did you…oh yum, is this real whipped cream?” Damien says as he dips his finger into the fluffy mass on top of his strawberry laden waffles and licks the cream off. Looking up when Kaidan moans, he grins at him and suckles louder. 

Closing his eyes so as not to be tempted at the sight of Damien suckling on his finger in the way that he suckles on his cock, Kaidan tries to distract himself with answering his question, “EDI made them. She wanted to congratulate us on finally boning. Her words not mine.”

Damien releases his finger with a wet pop and chokes, his eyebrows raised, “What? She said that?” When Kaidan nods, he snorts and starts laughing. After calming, he says, “Remind me to reprimand Samantha for teaching EDI words that are not appropriate to say to her superior officers.”

“Samantha…you mean Specialist Traynor? Why would she be the one to teach EDI? I thought that Joker was the one that would be reprimanded…wait, I’m confused. Isn’t Joker and EDI…ah…together?”

Damien chuckles, “I’m not surprised that you would think they were an item...the way they bicker like an old married couple…but, no. Joker is dating someone who works on the crucible project.”

“Ah, so that is why he keeps bringing up that he wants to visit there. Who is he dating?” Kaidan asks as he picks up a piece of vat grown bacon and eats it.

Watching Kaidan chew and swallow, Damien smiles slyly and says, “It’s a surprise. Let's just say that we have a double date set up. I’ll introduce you, then.”

“Okay,” Kaidan says as he narrows his eyes at him. Seeing that he isn’t going to get any more information about Joker’s friend out of Damien, he asks, “So, I take it that EDI is with Samantha, then.”

“Yeah. They’ve been together since just after we extracted civilians from Benning. EDI had been requesting to join my ground team on a mission to see if her mobile platform was suitable enough to give me the support I would need from a squad mate. She performed very well, actually, but had taken a stray bullet when she shielded one of the civilians before we were able to be extracted. Sam volunteered to help repair her and the rest is history. Apparently, during the retrofits back on Earth, Sam had flirted with her incessantly and now that EDI has a body, they took their relationship to the next step.”

“Huh,” Kaidan grunts in response. Thinking about his stray thoughts about the Specialist and how she acted around Damien during his first few days onboard, he sighs and shakes his head. Obviously what he thought about her was completely wrong. Waiting until Damien ate most of his meal and him too, since he truly was famished, he says still working it out in his head, “So the Specialist bats for the other side. Ok. That explains it.”

“What explains it?” Damien asks after swallowing a bite of his waffle and washing it down with a sip of coffee.

Kaidan turns away a little embarrassed, “Uh…when I first came onboard, I was worried that I would have to compete with her…you know…for you.”

Damien smiles and leans in to kiss his lips, lingering over them briefly before retreating. “No, Kaidan. There was never anyone for me, but you. Even Liara knew this.”

“I know. It’s just that…Samantha is a very attractive woman, don’t you think? I guess I was just a little worried, that’s all. I’ve already had to watch someone else win your affections and wanted to prepare myself, just in case. It doesn’t matter now anyway, because I am never letting you go. You’re mine,” Kaidan says gruffly as he takes Damien’s hand and kisses the back of it, his eyes closing. 

Damien growls and turns his hand over and cups Kaidan’s face. Taking his other hand, he quickly moves his tray over onto the nightstand but before returning, he dips a finger in what is left of his whipped cream and lathers Kaidan’s lips with it. After licking off the residual cream from his finger, he leans into Kaidan and gently kisses his lips, letting his tongue linger as he licks the cream off, savoring the taste. 

Having enough brain power left before giving in to their shared passion, Kaidan quickly grabs his tray and transfers it to his nightstand before turning back and grabbing Damien and crushing his mouth to his.

Following Kaidan down to lie horizontally on the bed, Damien lies on his side so as not to crush him as they devour each other’s mouths. Wrapping his other arm around behind Kaidan as he snuggles into him, he strokes down his back and over his ass, molding his body to his own and entwines his legs with his. Letting Kaidan take the lead as they continue to kiss, Damien lifts Kaidan’s leg higher on his waist so he has better access to his ass. He then starts to gently stroke him, making him shiver in anticipation and pulling away just enough to suck on a finger long enough to get it wet, Damien returns his hand to gently probe Kaidan’s channel and slides his finger inside, preparing him once again. However, when Kaidan hisses, Damien pauses with his probing and pulls away enough to say, “Are you okay, my love?”

Arching into the finger inside of him, before Damian can remove it, Kaidan moans and nods his head, closing his eyes. “Imokay…” he murmurs, still thrusting his hips into Damien’s hand. Encouraged by his boyfriend’s enthusiasm, Damien plunges his finger in a few more times before adding a second finger. Seeing Kaidan flinch, he removes his hand and sits up.

When Kaidan groans at the loss of Damien’s hand, he lies back and looks up at him apologetically. 

Concerned, Damien says, “You are not okay. What’s wrong?”

“I guess I’m just a little sore…that’s all. You don’t have to worry about me,” Kaidan says as he brushes his fingers along Damien’s jaw.

“Too late,” Damien says as he gets out of bed and grabs his tray to return it to the coffee table. Motioning to Kaidan to stay put, he walks around the bed and gathers his tray, as well. After cleaning up a little, he grabs a few more towels from the bathroom after washing his hands and joins Kaidan on the bed again. 

Worried a little from Damien’s expression, Kaidan motions him to lie down, and when he does they hold each other so they can talk. Kaidan brushes his hand along Damien’s jaw, enjoying the roughness of his beard, “Babe, I’m really okay. It’s just been a long time since I’ve had the kind of attention you gave me last night. I’ll need some time to get used to this, that’s all.” When Damien sighs and nods in understanding, Kaidan gently kisses him and then rests his forehead on his. Smirking, he adds, “You did warn me that you’re a bionic man. You have definitely lived up to having enough stamina that lasts for days. I just have to keep up with you.”

“Not at the expense of you getting hurt, I don’t.” 

“Not gonna happen. I want you too fucking much. The feel of your cock inside me…oh my gods…it feels amazing.” Kaidan groans in remembrance and dark energy starts to swirl in his eyes as he hardens again. Taking Damien’s hand in his, he sets it on his cock and wraps his hand around him, huskily adding, “Feel how you affect me. I can’t get enough of you. Besides, there are other ways…ahhhh,” he pauses when Damien takes advantage and starts to stroke him as they look into each other’s eyes.

“Let me try something that I’ve been thinking about…” Having already lost control over his biotic energy a few times during their night of passion, the pulses he released were involuntary. Still…those few times were damn pleasurable and afterward, he had started to think what would happen if the energy pulses were on purpose. Thus, wanting to find out, he lights up and extends his energy around Kaidan, which makes them both shiver with pleasure, their already heightened nerve endings sizzle in ecstasy. Letting his energy caress them as it flows between them, he waits until his panting boyfriend tenses, about ready to come due to all the stimulation and sends out a low resonating shockwave directly through his hand, into Kaidan’s cock. With a loud shout, Kaidan convulses around him and shoots his seed all over his own chest and Damien’s too, before losing consciousness. Completely aroused watching his lover lose all semblance of control, Damien allows himself to follow and soon after, ends up mixing his cum with Kaidan’s.

{{{}}}

Kaidan awakens when he feels something other than soft silky skin slide over him, cleaning up the mess that they made. He opens his eyes to watch his boyfriend, lovingly slide a hot towel over him and then set the towel down and join him in the bed, covering them both with the sheet. Snuggling up to him when Damien wraps his arms around him, Kaidan tries to form words to say something…anything really…about Damien’s idea. Giving up, since apparently his brain is not functioning at the moment, he slurs out, “Holy fuuuckkk!”

Damien chuckles, “That good, huh?”

“Mmmhmm,” Kaidan hums and lifts his hand to trace the contour of Damien’s lips. “Love you so much.”

Damien smiles and kisses his fingertips, “I love you, too.”

Kaidan yawns, his lethargy finally catching up with him. “Sleepy.”

Smiling fondly at his lover, who has closed his eyes, Damien whispers, “Sleep, Kaidan, I’m not going anywhere. This is exactly where I want to be…in your arms.” Feeling the steady breaths of his boyfriend on his neck, clearly already asleep, he grins and leans down to kiss his forehead. Snuggling closer, as close as he can get, Damien also closes his eyes, feeling completely relaxed, happy…and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1: Hope you enjoyed a little bit of fluff between my guys. I figured they truly did deserve a break, longer than just an evening together. It also seems that they are taking advantage of the time they have...good for them. 
> 
> A/N 2: Wanting to switch things up a bit, I went OC with the Joker/EDI characters. Since I paired up EDI with Traynor, can you guess who I paired Joker with? Don't worry, if you can't guess, it comes out later on after their next mission. hehe


	12. Revelations: Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the kudos and comments. This chapter is NSFW.
> 
> Comments are always welcome...you know...should you wish to comment...pfft...I'm a goof.
> 
> Hmm...this chapter...I have to steal one of Kaidan's lines in the game..."I just can't stop grinning..."

“Mmm…” Kaidan murmurs and awakens when a heavily muscled arm wraps around his middle and soft lips nip at the back of his neck, as he lays sprawled on the bed, face down. Shivering at the slight brush against his amp port, despite feeling absolutely relaxed and sated, he moans again and his cock starts to harden. A low chuckle sounds, which further arouses him and Kaidan turns around in his lover’s arms and pulls Damien’s lips to his and kisses him.

“Good afternoon, babe. Sleep well?” Damien asks after their lips part, and leans up on his elbow to get comfortable as Kaidan lays back into the bed and smiles up at him, sleep mussed and sexy as all hell. Damien smiles back, enjoying the view of his lover as he wakes up, wrapped in the sheets. This is a view he will never tire of. 

Kaidan blinks his eyes and rubs a hand over his face and yawns as he looks up at his lover, who is watching him. Remembering that Damien asked him a question, he sleepily grins at him and says, “Better than I have in a long time.”

Damien grins in return, “I know what you mean. Ever since I had the bright idea to invite you up here, I’ve been sleeping better, too.”

Kaidan raises a hand and brushes it over Damien’s face, enjoying the downy bristle of his beard that he’s grown out since shacking up with him and rubs his thumb over his bottom lip, “I’m glad,” he says huskily. 

“Hungry?” Damien asks before he gives into the temptation that is his boyfriend as he looks up at him with a clear invitation in his eyes. He definitely didn’t miss that his insatiable lover is sporting an impressive wood under the sheet, wrapped tightly around his waist. Just as he is about to lean in anyway, his eyebrows raise when he hears a loud stomach gurgle and smiles when Kaidan turns red and looks up at him sheepishly as he rubs his stomach. Chuckling, he adds, “I guess so.” Getting up, Damien walks over to the coffee table and grabs the two trays he set there earlier after returning from the mess, thinking lunch in bed was a good idea after waking earlier. 

Sitting up in bed, Kaidan finally notices that his boyfriend is now the one wearing sweatpants and little else as he grabs two covered trays from the coffee table. An exact reverse of this morning, after he had answered the door and received the food offered from a shy EDI after making breakfast for them.

Narrowing his eyes at the fact that his boyfriend is wearing too many clothes, he demands, “Off,” and points at his sweatpants as Damien stacks the trays on his bedside table. 

Damien laughs and salutes him before chucking them off and dumping them on the nearest chair, before joining him in bed, leaning up against the pillows and straightening the sheet before draping it across his lap. 

Groaning at the sight of Damien’s hard body and obvious arousal, Kaidan mimics Damien’s posture against the pillows and asks pointing at the food, “EDI, again?”

Damien shakes his head and explains as he sets up their meal like that morning, “No. I wanted to surprise you by making my specialty.”

Kaidan looks down at his meal and laughs when Damien flourishes the covers off and says, “Sandwiches?”

“Not just any sandwich,” Damien says smiling and waggling his eyebrows at him, “It’s a club sandwich.”

Kaidan laughs and shakes his head at him in disbelief at such a minor detail, “You’re a goof…”

Damien chuckles at him and leans in to blow a raspberry on his neck and leans back before Kaidan can swat at him. Damien shrugs and says, “I’m a sandwich kind of guy. I’m not much in the kitchen. Just enough to get by, I guess.”

Kaidan nods and grins at him, “I think I knew that about you…not to worry, babe, cooking is my thing. I love to cook.”

Damien’s eyes light up and he impishly adds, “Hmm, I think I can get used to Canadian delicacies…if it includes meat and potatoes.”

Kaidan laughs louder this time and rolls his eyes, “I think I can handle that.”

Damien wiggles his hips a little in excitement and smiles at him, “Goody.”

Seeing the gleam in Damien’s eyes as he looks at him before digging into his sandwich…wait, scratch that, club sandwich…Kaidan laughs again, shaking his head in amazement around the fact that Damien can be such a goofball and starts eating too. After taking a few bites and drinking some of the ice water that was also offered, Kaidan groans a little and starts devouring his large sandwich. It’s really good. His boyfriend may not be talented, for once, in the kitchen arena, but the sandwich is hitting the spot. It’s exactly the type of food needed after expending so much energy over the course of two days; both in combat and in bed. Licking his lips and eating every crumb off his plate, he looks up at Damien, when he chuckles at him. “Alright, you win. This was really good, Damien, just what I needed.”

Smiling, Damien smirks at him, “That’s not all I brought with me,” and turns to grab the smaller covered bowl still sitting on his bedside table.

Looking expectantly at Damien, Kaidan licks his lips and asks, “Oh?”

Motioning for Kaidan to move his tray aside and after removing his own, he takes the cover off. 

Kaidan gasps and his eyes widen, “Holy shit! Where did you get those?” he asks as he eyes the bowl of succulent green grapes.

Smiling at his boyfriend as he eyes the proffered gift with desire, Damien explains, “Private Westmoreland offered them to me. It seems she picked up a bunch of grapes on the Citadel before we departed and has been hoarding them in her private stash.”

“Oooh…gimme…” Kaidan says biting his lips and goes to grab the bowl from him and says “Hey…” when Damien holds the bowl out of range.

Laughing at the faux rage in Kaidan’s eyes, Damien says, “I want to feed you, babe,” and pats his lap, motioning for Kaidan to lay his head on him.

Quirking an eyebrow, Kaidan leans in and kisses him first before lying sideways and placing his head on Damien’s sheet covered lap and curls his legs to the side to face him and also so he still fits on the bed. Then he covers his waist with the sheet. It seems his boyfriend wants a little cuddle time now that they are both feeling sated with food. 

Laying the bowl of grapes in the hollow between the pillows and Kaidan’s torso, Damien curls into Kaidan and stuffs a pillow under his head so he’s more comfortable. Plucking a firm green grape from the bowl, he pops it into Kaidan’s mouth, and groans when his boyfriend moans in ecstasy as he bites into the succulent treat. Damien shifts uncomfortably when his cock hardens a little under the soft pillow, as he watches Kaidan lick his lips, when a bit of the juice from the grape escapes. When did eating grapes become such a turn on? He grabs another small orb from the bowl and repeats the gesture, his eyes soaking up every little movement of Kaidan’s mouth as he eats the grape and sucks on the juice. Fuck…he closes his eyes as even the sound of Kaidan swallowing the grape makes his cock start to throb and ache and images of the past evening and morning start flitting through his mind. Damien rubs his face with his hand as he tries to tamp down his desire for the man sitting in his lap. All he wanted to do was cuddle; enjoy the simple task of feeding his lover a bowl of grapes. It seemed like such a great idea when he was in the mess kitchen earlier, but now watching his boyfriend chew and swallow and lick his lips as he groans around the fruit in his mouth, all he wants to do is let his beast out and ravage the man. 

Hell, ever since Kaidan showed back up into his life, everything about him became a turn on. He no longer walks around in a fog or a red haze, letting the gloom and doom of the war rampage through his life. Kaidan has brought him back to life, so to speak. He no longer feels suffocated; his chest no longer feels like it’s being crushed from the inside out. He can breathe easily now, enjoy every single moment, treasure every little nuance of this new life with Kaidan. 

After swallowing his second grape, immensely enjoying the burst of flavor on his tongue, Kaidan looks up to encourage Damien to give him another one, when he sees that Damien has closed his eyes and has a hand covering his face. Worried, he lifts a hand and cups his chin, “Damien? You okay?”

Damien lifts his hand and looks back at him. Seeing the worry in Kaidan’s eyes, Damien smiles and smooths a random strand of Kaidan’s hair away from his face. Then, he gently brushes his callused fingers over the crown of Kaidan’s ear as he looks down at him, enjoying the sound of his quiet gasps as he shivers at his touch. “Damn, you’re sexy. Just watching you eat a grape is turning me on…something fierce.”

Chuckling huskily, Kaidan raises one eyebrow suggestively and says, “Oh really?”

Damien hums a yes and feeds him another grape and pops one into his own mouth. Damn, the grapes taste amazing. He files away a reminder to thank Private Westmoreland again, later. 

Frowning a little, Kaidan asks him, “You didn’t go downstairs in just your sweatpants, did you?”

Damien cocks his head and says teasingly, “What if I did?” curious to see why Kaidan would even ask that question of him. Of course, he didn’t. As the CO, walking around in just sweatpants would not only be unprofessional, but he wouldn’t want anyone to get the idea that he was available. Only Kaidan is allowed to see him naked. Apparently, being teased for showing jealousy, because that is what his question was really about, wasn’t the answer Kaidan was looking for. So, in response, his boyfriend narrows his eyes at him and pinches his side making him yip and start to laugh. Putting his hands up in surrender, Damien says, “Of course not. I put the whole ensemble on; N7 sweats. I’m not ready to go back to work yet, so my casual wear seemed appropriate. Besides, I was worried that I would be interrupted if I wore my uniform.”

“Where you?”

“Nope. I guess Garrus made the announcement that I wasn’t to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary. He runs a tight ship…maybe I should go on vacation more often.”

Kaidan laughs and says as he plucks a grape from the bowl and feeds it to his happy boyfriend, “Hmm, I think I would be able to come up with things to keep you occupied.”

Damien’s eyebrows go up and he says, “Oh really?”

Shivering a little as Damien has continued to gently brush his fingers over his ear and play with his hair, it is Kaidan’s turn to shift, suddenly uncomfortable, as his cock hardens. Trying to distract his wayward thoughts, he absently says, “Nothing happened while you were making lunch? You were completely ignored? That’s surprising…” It seemed to him as he was getting settled into living on the Normandy again; those first few days…no matter what time of the day or night, if Damien was onboard, he always seemed to be busy. It was either the crew coming to him with concerns; him doing his daily rounds; working in the CIC or War Room; meeting with ground crew in the conference room to talk over missions; meetings with Admiral Hackett or Admiral Anderson, talking to the Council, etc. He was always busy. No time for himself. So, even with their promised couple of days off, Kaidan seriously thought that they would have been interrupted ages ago. Although, hearing that Garrus was playing interceptor for them, was a great relief. They really needed this time together. He knows that this moment won’t last forever, of course, but the last 12 hours has been the best of his life, so far. He hopes that after the war is over, there will be many more days like this. 

Damien laughs, “No interruptions…no. But, I did have a run in with James.”

“Oh?”

Damien rolls his eyes, “Yeah…just be warned…the cat is out of the bag. He might tease you a little.”

Kaidan looks at him and frowns, confused.

“He kind of guessed that I wasn’t eating alone and that we’ve been getting it on, so to speak. His gestures where obvious, but I ignored them.”

Shaking his head at the audacity of the young lieutenant, Kaidan entwines his fingers with the hand closest to him. “You already mentioned that he caught you staring at my ass, yesterday, as we were getting ready for our mission...”

“Ha! Yeah, he did. He was mostly boasting that his tirade to me back in Vancouver was correct.”

“About what?”

Damien rolls his eyes, “He used to tell me that all I needed was to get laid. Apparently, it would improve my disposition.”

“He’s right. It totally does…” Kaidan says smirking at him.

Damien laughs, “Let’s not tell him that.”

Kaidan nods in agreement.

“Speaking of Garrus…apparently, I’m in the dog house with him, especially after Javik asked him why he hasn’t mated with Tali, yet. He walked by while I was making lunch and when I went to greet him, he glared at me and flipped me off, before storming back into the Main Battery.”

Kaidan jerks and looks up at him after staring blankly at the hand he was softly twirling his thumb over, making shivers of pleasure run up and down Damien’s arm. Then he laughs and says, “Yeah, I’m not Garrus’ favorite, either. After telling him that he’s been blind about how Tali really feels about him, he told me to go ‘suck it.’”

“Ugh…that Turian…sometimes, we are blind about those we love, aren’t we?” Damien says softly, as he squeezes Kaidan’s hand and brings it up to his lips to kiss his palm. 

Kaidan’s eyes start to twirl blue as he sits up and pulls Damien to him to kiss him hard. Pulling back just enough to respond, he huskily whispers, “Never again.”

Damien moans and quickly puts the half eaten bowl of grapes on the back shelf behind the bed and follows his lover to lay beside him limbs entwined, as they savagely devour each other’s mouths as they start round whatever…finally giving into their mutual desire for each other. 

{{{}}}

Kaidan hums in satisfaction, as he comes down off of his high from Damien giving him an amazing blowjob without biotics. It was Damien’s idea, actually, which he promptly disobeyed when he lost control and flashed their quarters with a burst of blue energy as he shot his seed into his boyfriend’s mouth, especially after Damien included some prostate action. He was still slightly sore after their numerous romps in the sack the previous evening and this morning. Boneless and completely relaxed now, Kaidan allows Damien to gently reposition him to the head of their bed so he can lie against their pillows. He grunts and entwines his limbs with Damien’s as his boyfriend assumes the larger spoon role automatically, and faces him to bury his head in the crook of his neck. Enjoying the lull, they both look up at the passing stars as the Normandy travels unobtrusively by in FTL. The blue wisps of their passing gently blur the bleak darkness of the surrounding stars in an almost dreamlike fashion, making it slightly romantic to look upon. 

A pattern has emerged in their time together, so far. It seems Damien is quite possessive and has the need to give pleasure first before taking in return. Not that Kaidan minds very much. He doesn’t care who goes first as long as their passion is mutual. He’s been aggressive before in past relationships; always taking charge in the bedroom, but truthfully, after always having to give, it got old and boring...fast. So far, in this new relationship with Damien, he’s mostly been submissive, letting Damien do what he feels comfortable doing, since this was so new to him. Maybe later, after they’ve been together for a while, then Kaidan can get more aggressive. 

Truthfully, it really doesn’t matter, since so far…the orgasms he’s had are mind-blowing. And, that is putting it mildly. He’s never lost consciousness before after oral sex. He thought the first time that it happened, several days ago, was just a fluke…a onetime thing, since their passions were so new for each other. Nope. Damien’s idea last night to use his shockwave…even on low…was fucking amazing! Hell…just being with Damien; in his arms, in his mouth, his cock inside him, oh Gods…he can’t wait until he is no longer sore and they can start experimenting again. Damien is definitely a fast learner. Smirking slightly at the thought, he kisses the smooth skin under his head and snuggles as close as he can to the man beside him. When Damien kisses the top of his head in response, Kaidan smiles, his heart feels so full of love for this amazing man. He’s the lucky one…not only is the sex fucking awesome, but it’s more than that. Just being with Damien…calling him boyfriend…laughing with him…sharing his life with him…making memories…kissing him…he couldn’t be happier. 

Wanting to give pleasure in return, Kaidan trails his fingers down Damien’s chest, tracing his contours, slightly flicking the nipple he can reach and twisting just enough, the way Damien showed him, and smirks with pleasure when Damien sucks in a breath and groans. Continuing his exploration of Damien’s glorious chest, he brushes his fingertips down over the defined abs and down the trail of downy hair and stops just before intercepting the throbbing cock that is leaking pre-cum from all the anticipation. Kaidan bypasses the big guy, and lightly cups Damien’s balls and starts to gently stroke them, pausing when Damien gasps and starts panting. Then, when Damien whimpers with need, he brushes his fingertips up and down Damien’s impressive member and then starts stroking him the way he would stroke himself; giving a little twist at the head, making Damien jerk and groan in ecstasy. 

“Spirits…that feels amazing…” Damien gasps and arches into him. 

Continuing to stroke Damien, paying special attention to his sensitive head, making him gasp and buck into his hand, Kaidan repositions Damien so he can draw his thigh over his hip. Damien’s eyes widens and he gasps, realizing what Kaidan intends on doing. Hearing the catch in Damien’s throat, Kaidan pauses with his strokes and nips his neck before asking, “May I return the favor, Damien?”

Slightly hesitant, Damien searches Kaidan’s face and sees the love he has for him shining through and nods. Slightly out of breath at the idea, Damien gulps just thinking about what Kaidan is wanting to do. He’s suddenly a little scared.

Seeing Damien’s reluctance and something else in his eyes that he just can’t describe, Kaidan leans into his lover and kisses him. “Don’t worry, my love, I’ll take good care of you.” Then he ducks his head and kisses the path down Damien’s body that his fingers just explored and rearranges himself to lie between Damien’s legs and before Damien can change his mind, he takes Damien’s gorgeous cock into his mouth. Damien yelps and then starts to moan, a hand grabbing a fistful of sheets and the other to guide Kaidan’s mouth up and down his length. Not able to completely take in all of Damien’s 9 inches of silky hard cock into his mouth, Kaidan uses his hands in tandem. After several minutes of thoroughly distracting his boyfriend, making him buck up into him and start to fuck his mouth with his cock, Kaidan moves one of his hands southward, multitasking. Giving a slight tug to the balls, Kaidan sucks in a finger to moisten it and gently brushes it over Damien’s tight hole. Damien jerks in response, but instead of asking him to stop, he groans louder, “Don’t stop, Kaidan. I’m ready…aahhh,” he gasps when Kaidan probes into him just barely, making gentle strokes with his finger until he is past the tight ring. Then he starts to thrust the finger into Damien’s tight hole as he continues to multitask. Damien starts humming and thrashing his head back and forth, “So close…please…please, Kaidan…so close.” Humming in response, to Damien’s pleas, knowing the vibrations will feel amazing against his cock, Kaidan quirks his probing finger into Damien’s prostate and gives it a rub. With a shout of pure fucking ecstasy, stars exploding behind his closed eyes, Damien loses all semblance of control and also disobeys his earlier decision to not use biotics and flashes their quarters with blue energy as he comes hard into his lover’s mouth, who greedily swallows every last drop. 

Dazed and a little blurry-eyed after coming so hard, completely emptying himself into Kaidan’s hot mouth, Damien barely moves when Kaidan gets up and walks naked into the bathroom to grab a towel. Blinking at the sight of such an amazing ass, Damien sighs with pleasure and grins when Kaidan returns with a cold towel, since they are both slick with sweat after giving into their passions, once again. Smiling at his beloved, they both use the towel on each other to not only clean any spent left over but to cool down. After air drying, they once again relax, wrapped in each other’s arms. 

Not having much of a brain left, Damien exclaims, “I wasn’t always like this,” he waves down at his waxing erection still relishing his release into his boyfriend’s mouth, having immensely enjoyed the noises Kaidan made as he feasted upon him.

Kissing Damien’s neck and murmuring sweet nothings into his ear, Kaidan says, “You’re perfect,” and goes back to kissing and nipping along Damien’s neck and shoulder.

“I mean I wasn’t always 9 inches, Kaidan.”

Kaidan stills and looks at him, a little shocked, “Huh…how is that possible?”

Damien blushes, “Let’s just say, the person in charge of my rebuild took a few liberties.”

“How many liberties?”

“Just an inch.”

“Pfft…” Kaidan scoffs, “So you were 8 inches? Oh the horror!”

“Hey, it wasn’t about that, but thanks, it was kind of demeaning that I wasn’t good enough, or at least in that way,” Damien tries to explain. 

Looking down at his mere 7 inches, Kaidan looks up at Damien and says in a small voice, “So…am I okay?”

Damien grabs Kaidan’s chin and kisses him fiercely, “Spirits, yes, Kaidan. You are the one who is perfect. It may take me a while, but I definitely want to know what you feel like inside me…and after what you just did…someday soon. Besides, even if all we do is what we just experienced, I would die a happy man. You taste amazing, by the way.”

Kaidan laughs, “Okay.” He kisses Damien, “So, this person who rebuilt you, what else did they take liberties with. You look the same, as far as I remember. You are a little meatier, but I figured it was all the combat that you’ve seen.”

“Yeah that’s part of it, but Miranda augmented me with skin-weaves and cybernetics so I can hold more muscle. I did say I was part robot, remember? So, yeah, that’s why I look meatier…” Damien says his eyes twinkling at using Kaidan’s words. 

Kaidan frowns, “Miranda? That’s the other operative that worked with you last year, right? She was the one who rebuilt you?”

“Yeah, that’s her.”

“Well that makes more sense, I guess.”

“What makes more sense?”

Looking a little exasperated as if it’s not obvious, Kaidan adds, “She took liberties with you. She did. She made you more to her specs…I take it she probably came on to you at some point…am I right?”

Damien looks away and sits up, thinking about what he said. Turning back to look at Kaidan when he also sits up across from him, Damien blushes and nods in assent. “Yeah, she did. She wasn’t the only one, but you are right, she did make it pretty obvious that she wanted a relationship with me. Whether it was more than one night, I don’t know.”

“Well obviously you didn’t take her up on it.”

“Believe me I was tempted. The tension was pretty high last year, and it would have been nice to relieve some of it. Plus, she’s gorgeous…but…”

“But…?” Kaidan prompts, trying not to feel jealous.

“She wasn’t you.”

Kaidan smiles and quirks an eyebrow as he looks his boyfriend up and down, “Remind me to thank her when I meet her.”

Damien scoffs and swats his arm, making Kaidan chuckle. Rolling his eyes, “I seriously doubt she would appreciate that, since she was…how do I put this…uh…extremely pissed that I rejected her. That’s not quite the words that Garrus used when I described the situation to him after he noticed the tension between us, but you get the picture.”

Eyeing the growing bulge under the sheet, Kaidan licks his lips and says, “I would imagine.”

“Kaidan…focus,” Damien says chuckling, remembering when Kaidan said the same thing to him earlier during breakfast. 

Kaidan drags his eyes from the object of his affection and looks innocently up into Damien’s eyes and smirks, “Mmm, I am focusing…” He gets another playful swat in response. He chuckles and then frowns. Remembering that their friendship was quite rocky last year, Kaidan asks curiously, “You rejected her even though…” he pauses leaving his thought open for interpretation. 

Damien sighs and says, “I know we weren’t exactly talking last year…especially after…uh…Horizon, but…” stopping when he sees Kaidan flinch and turn away. “Kaidan, hey…” Damien says cupping his face to turn him to face towards him, “We are past that, remember? You are here now…we are together…that’s all that matters now.” Kaidan nods, tears glistening. Brushing a tear from his face, Damien leans into his lover and kisses him. Pulling back, he says, “I’ve only ever wanted to be with you, Kaidan. I love you.”

“Love you too.” 

{{{}}}

Deciding to take a shower together, Damien washes his lover from head to toe and while Kaidan does the same for him, he huffs out a laugh after realizing that Kaidan had looked a little jealous after finding out Miranda had tried to start something with him. Not wanting to point it out exactly, he remembers something from their previous tour together, and had always wondered...deciding that now was the time to find out, he says, “You know it’s funny, because I thought you and Ash were together on the SR1. You were always spending so much time together. I was always so jealous of her, monopolizing your time like that. I barely got to spend time with you outside of missions.”

Kaidan laughs and shakes his head, “Uh…no. She was crazy in love with you, actually.”

Damien sputters, “What? I never knew that.”

“Right…pretty much as soon as Liara showed up you were oblivious to everyone else, plus your reputation was hard to get around. I think that and frat regs was why Ash never said anything. We used to talk about you. That’s what we had in common, actually, our mutual interest in you. She always thought it was sad that you were so oblivious to two people so obviously in love with you.” 

“Huh…completely unaware.” 

Kaidan laughs sardonically in response, remembering the heartache he felt after finding out that this wonderful man was in love with Liara. 

Damien takes Kaidan’s face in his hands and kisses his forehead, “I’m sorry I was so stupid and hurt you,” pausing to kiss both of Kaidan's closed eyes. When Kaidan tries to speak, he shakes his head and continues. “What matters…is you and me, right now,” pausing again to kiss one cheek, “Being with you, is the most amazing feeling. I don’t regret a thing, Kaidan…the waiting…the wait to be with you. It was worth it. You are worth it.” He pauses again and kisses his other cheek, “You and I are meant to be and we have the rest of our lives to be together…to make memories…to love…to cherish what we have. That’s what matters, babe. Don’t look back,” he says whispering the last before kissing him on the lips. Kaidan whimpers against him as more tears run down his cheek as Damien’s words engulf him in happiness. 

Kaidan brushes a hand down Damien’s cheek, his love for this man pouring off him in waves as he looks at him. Then because he can’t think of anything else to say because this moment is absolutely perfect, he blurts out, “Will you marry me?”

{{{}}}

Damien blinks at him, completely shocked. “Damn! I thought I moved fast…”

With water pouring down both of them, Kaidan smiles and asks with his heart in his throat, “Was that a yes?”

“Are you sure?”

Quirking an eyebrow at him, Kaidan says as his thumb brushes across Damien’s bottom lip, his eyes following the action, “I wouldn’t have asked if I was not sure with every cell in my body.” Then he lifts his eyes to stare into his lover’s eyes, “You complete me, Damien. I’ve never been happier. Even with a war on, and the galaxy falling apart around us, being with you…” He’s suddenly slightly breathless and choked up as he sees the love that is shining back at him, “It’s the most amazing feeling…you give me hope…for a future…for a life outside of this…” he waves around him. “You are my family…my heart…my soul. I can’t think of anything that would make me happier than to call you husband.”

Unable to say anything due to the amount of emotion locked in his throat at Kaidan’s proposal, Damien’s eyes brim with tears and one slips out and runs down his cheek. He doesn’t cry often, but there was just something about what Kaidan said, about being his husband and what that would mean to him. Brushing the tear from his face he swallows the lump in his throat and answers, his heart full of love, “I guess since I already said to love and to cherish…” and pauses when Kaidan gasps. Seeing hope spring in his beloved’s face, Damien continues, “Yes, Kaidan. A million times, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fuck! Try writing the shower scene while listening to songs from ME2 & ME3, specifically the ‘Suicide Mission’ by Jack Wall and ‘I Was Lost Without You’ by Sam Hulick. Holy Shitballs…that was intense. Was I the only one that was emotional during Kaidan’s proposal? I never cry…ever. Fucccckkkk…my heart is going to burst over in the corner…later…


	13. Revelations: Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all the kudos and comments. This Chapter is NSFW. Enjoy!

{{{}}}

After their eventful shower, and enjoying a relaxing douse of just holding each other until the water turned cold; Damien felt it was probably time to trim his beard back to his normal goatee, when Kaidan offered to do it for him. Surprised at the offer, Damien shrugs and leads his towel clad fiancé to the mirror to hand him the specially made mint shaving cream and razor. Pausing briefly, he makes a surprised sound and shakes his head in wonder, realizing that, holy shit…he’s engaged now. That’s gonna take some getting used to. 

Having seen Damien pause and his eyes widen in awe in the mirror, Kaidan turns towards him and asks, “What is it?”

Damien smiles and wraps an arm around his lover’s waist and kisses him, before saying, “I was just realizing that you’re my fiancé now and I had automatically referred to you as such in my head.”

Kaidan smiles and gives him a hug in return, “It’s an amazing feeling, alright.”

Damien hands his fiancé the shaving cream and stands still as Kaidan slathers it on his face. Taking special care to outline his beloved’s cheeks and jawline, Kaidan muses, “I’m surprised you don’t use the auto-shavers available now. Although, learning that you preferred this ‘old-school’ way to shave back on the SR1, it became just another reason why I love you so much...your rebellious nature against the military code for preferring a goatee over a clean-shaven face.”

Damien laughs, “I’m not exactly rebelling against anything, really. It’s mostly just paying homage to my father. He used to prefer the ‘old-school’ way of shaving and I guess this is my way of staying true to his memory.”

“You never talk about your father much,” Kaidan says hesitantly as he washes his hands of the residual cream on his fingers and dries his hands. Actually, thinking back to their various conversations, he remembers only one other time when Damien mentioned his father. It was a comment he made in reference to how he took after him in looks; same red hair and green eyes. 

“There’s not much to tell. He died when I was really young. I don’t have a lot of memories, other than what my mother has told me.”

“What was he like?”

Damien closes his eyes and grins as he remembers his father; Colin Shepard. “From what I can remember…he was a kind man, always laughing, and he loved my Mom…immeasurably. They were extremely happy when they were together. And, he loved me. We were inseparable. One of my earliest memories was of him teaching me to shave. I was, maybe four…it was right before he died actually. He was getting ready to ship off for his next assignment and I remember him slathering shaving cream on my face, giving me a bladeless razor, and showing me how to shave. I remember that every motion he did, I copied. After I made a mess of things and getting most of the cream in my hair, he laughed and ended up twirling me about. My mother caught the both of us making a mess of ourselves, completely covered from head to toe in shaving cream.” Damien laughs and shakes his head, opening his eyes when Kaidan brushes a tear from his face. “I thought the world of him. Even though I was only four when he was killed in a shuttle accident; the few memories I do have of him, I’ll always treasure.”

“I didn’t mean to dredge up the pain of losing your father, Damien. I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay.” Taking a large breath, Damien hands Kaidan the razor, “Anyway, that’s the reason why I prefer the ‘old-school’ way to shave. I use the auto-shaver for when I don’t have time, but I keep a can of the shaving cream my father preferred to use around for when I do have time…like now.” Kaidan nods in understanding and tips his face to the side to start on one of his cheeks, “Besides, it seems that you know your way around a razor just fine.”

Kaidan blushes and hesitates when Damien tilts his head at him in question for his response. “Uh…I never used to…but after you died, I started shaving ‘old-school,’ as well. I guess it was my way to feel closer to you. I mostly use the auto-shaver, since I don’t have to shave as much, but…well…” he shrugs and continues drawing the blade down Damien’s cheek.

Damien stands still; his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches his fiancé work meticulously on his face, making sure to get every stray hair perfect. He loves watching Kaidan work like this, the tip of his tongue emerging from his lips as he concentrates on every stroke of the razor, which is beyond cute. Kaidan always did try to do everything perfect the first time, so the fact that he was concentrating so seriously on making sure his goatee came out perfectly, makes his heart flip flop in his chest at just how lucky he is to have such an amazing man to call his own.

Waiting until he was finished with the one side, Kaidan looks up into his lover’s eyes and asks, “Did you think it would be like this with us?”

Understanding immediately what Kaidan is asking, Damien responds with, “I had a feeling that it would…yes. What about you?”

“Mmm…I was hoping…” Kaidan says and pauses with his ministrations as he turns Damien’s head sideways to check the evenness of his goatee before moving onto his other cheek. 

Grinning impishly, Damien ducks his head and rubs his shaving cream laden cheek against Kaidan’s face, making him yelp, “Hey!” After wiping the smear from his face off with his forearm, he glares at his laughing fiancé and grabs a towel to clean off the residue from his face and forearm. 

Damien chuckles when Kaidan narrows his eyes at him and threatens him with the can of shaving cream by pointing the nozzle at his face, for his impudence in playing with him while he was distracted. “That stuff is expensive…careful where you point it,” he says as he raises his hands in surrender. 

Setting the can down, Kaidan huffs and rolls his eyes at him before grabbing the razor to get back to work, after flicking Damien’s nose, making him snicker at him. “What am I going to do with you, Damien?” 

“Come back to bed with me, I hope. I think I can make it up to you in some way…” Damien says his eyebrows waggling as he looks his fiancé up and down and licks his lips.

Finishing up, Kaidan grabs a hand towel and wipes his lover’s face, removing any residual trace of the cream. Cupping his face with both hands, he leans in to kiss him briefly before releasing him, to lean against the counter and fold his arms over his chest, giving his lover a smirk, “Oh really?”

Damien hums an affirmative before grabbing his aftershave from the shelf. Pouring out a small dollop into his hands, he pats the small bit of fragrant liquid onto his cheeks. Before wiping off his hands, he pauses when one of his hands is taken and brought up to Kaidan’s nose. Surprised, he looks at his fiancé as he closes his eyes and breathes in deeply the smell of the aftershave. 

After opening his eyes and seeing Damien's surprise, Kaidan blushes and ducks his head, slightly embarrassed. “Uh…the smell…it just reminds me of the salty ocean breeze of where I grew up...Vancouver.”

It’s Damien’s turn to slightly blush, “Uh…yeah. I got this aftershave on the Citadel, just after receiving the tattoo on my hip, last year. It reminded me of you.”

Kissing the fingertips of the hand he is still holding up against his face, Kaidan smiles, “Just another reason why we are so perfect for each other.”

“Yep.”

Kaidan takes the hand in his and starts leading Damien out of the bathroom, his intention clear by the expression on his face. “I think you said something about wanting to go back to bed, babe?”

Before Damien can respond, a loud chime from his omni-tool interrupts him and he stops at the top of the stairs and motions for Kaidan to wait. Powering up the haptic display, he notes that it’s Specialist Traynor trying to contact him. Accepting audio only, Damien says, “What can I do for you, Specialist?”

“Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but Admiral Hackett is requesting to speak with you over the vidcom. Should I tell him that you are busy and ask Commander Vakarian to respond?”

Looking at Kaidan who gives him a slight nod in understanding, Damien says, “No. I’ll take the call. Tell the Admiral that I’ll be a few minutes.”

“Yes sir.”

Before she can log off, Damien interjects, “Traynor…tell EDI, thanks for breakfast. You too. It was very thoughtful of you.”

“Uh…your welcome, sir. Traynor out.”

Looking at his lover who is trying to hide his disappointment, Damien exclaims, “Raincheck?”

Kaidan takes off his towel and walks boldly over to their shared closet and grabs one of his uniforms out and lays it on the bed. Pausing to make sure his lover is watching his every move; he bends over to grab his boots, enjoying the quick inhaling of breath and a distinct moan from behind him. Straightening, he bites his bottom lip and smirks at the obvious sign of arousal currently making a tent out of the white towel wrapped loosely around Damien’s waist. “Abso-fucking-lutely!”

Also taking off his towel, Damien walks naked over to Kaidan and pulls him into a searing kiss and wraps his arms around him. Sighing in remorse for having to break their bubble of domesticity that they have enjoyed for the past day, Damien smirks and after turning away to grab his own uniform out of the closet, he quickly takes his discarded towel and uses it to slap Kaidan’s ass as he bends down to grab some socks, making him yelp and turn to glare at him. “Going somewhere?”

Forgiving Damien for using the same dirty trick on him that he used a few days ago, Kaidan hurries into his uniform trousers and sits on the bed to put his boots on, “Yes, I’m coming with you. You are not leaving my sight until we are officially on duty tomorrow morning.”

“How very possessive of you…”

“Pot…kettle…” Kaidan rolls his eyes when Damien laughs. Then he shrugs, “I figured you were going to ask me to come with you anyway, so…I may as well catch up on some messages…”

“As you so aptly put it, yes, I was going to ask you to come with me. I ‘am’ feeling possessive right now. You’re mine, Kaidan. I know it will be difficult to separate what we have from our work, but until we have to, I want you at my side as much as possible, babe. I don’t want to waste a single moment, with you…”

Finishing up with his uniform, Kaidan grabs Damien’s hand and brushes his lips over the back of his hand, “Trust me, I completely understand. Let’s keep our new status between us for the time being. It’s still so new and wonderful and I want to bask in this warm fuzzy feeling a little longer before the rest of the galaxy finds out. I just want to relish the idea that the great ‘Commander Shepard,’ super soldier biotic extraordinaire, is mine.”

“I’m nothing without you, babe.”

Kaidan pulls Damien in briefly for a hard and hot kiss, before releasing him to quickly fix his hair in front of the mirror tacked to the closet door. 

As Kaidan tries to looks even sexier, Damien finishes up getting dressed and snapping his rank pads to his uniform.

After taming his unruly locks the best he can and seeing Damien struggle with the fastenings, Kaidan steps forward to help. “I always wondered why you like to wear your Class A uniform. I understand why you don’t wear the dress uniform, it being kind of itchy and all, but why not the B’s?” he says as he waves down at the uniform he’s wearing.

Finishing up buckling the shoulder he’s working on while Kaidan finishes the other side, Damien explains, “Eh…the B’s were always a little too tight in the shoulders and thighs.”

“Not everyone is built like the hulk, I guess.”

Rolling his eyes, Damien adds, “The Class A’s feel looser on my bulkier frame. Besides, even though normally I don’t flash my rank around, it makes things easier when I speak to the Council or others coordinating this war. Since being reinstated, I’ve gotten used to wearing it now.”

“I guess that makes sense. It probably comes in handy when you’re on the Citadel, too. Everyone gets out of the way of the great ‘Commander Shepard.’ Must be nice…” He says as he winces at the prospect of the amount of people now living on the Citadel, especially now that it’s become a safe haven away from the horrors of the war. 

Shrugging, Damien says, “A little of that too, yes.”

Kaidan laughs, “Ready?”

“Sure, let’s go. I want to know what’s so urgent that even Admiral Hackett would break his oath to not disturb me even though he requested that I take a day off. Well…it wasn’t exactly a request. He kind of ordered me to take a day off.”

“He did? I didn’t know that. When did you speak to him?”

Cringing a little, Damien shrugs and precedes Kaidan out of their quarters to the elevator and presses the button. “I sent him a message yesterday that I was taking today off and he approved, telling me it was about time that I followed his orders. He kind of…uh…told me to take a day off after Sur’Kesh and then again after we cured the genophage.”

“Damien…” Kaidan rolls his eyes at the man, for rebelling against the powers that be again. Having the Normandy’s exploits forwarded to him while he was in the hospital, he had kept up with what Damien and his crew had been doing the whole time he was recovering, not being able to stand not knowing. That had been worse than the pain from his injuries. Doing the math, Kaidan figures Sur’Kesh was at least over a month ago and Tuchanka was two weeks ago. He shakes his head and knowing his fiancé as he does, it’s most likely that Damien hasn’t had a day to himself since being incarcerated back on Earth before the war started. Knowing that chastising him was a waste, Kaidan grabs him and kisses him hotly and when the elevator doors open, he follows him in. “Now you have something to look forward to when you are ordered to take a day off, my love.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I plan on spending every moment with you and when it’s possible to take additional time, you can bet your sweet ass that we will be doing so, in bed.”

Before the door opens upon the CIC deck, Kaidan moans and kisses him hotly. Releasing Damien, they have just enough time to compose themselves and slip their military officer personas on long enough to walk through the CIC, nod at a gaping Samantha as she eyes the two of them, and walk through the security scanner. Once they are in the deserted conference room, they steal another kiss before walking into the war room, ready to temporarily return to duty. 

{{{}}}

“I’m sorry I had to interrupt your much needed day off, Captain. However, I believe my reasons for doing so are well worth disturbing you,” Admiral Hackett says, his eyes crinkling; the only sign that whatever he is about to say is going to be interesting. 

Intrigued, Damien straightens and puts his hands behind his back in parade rest. 

“Shepard, I wanted to let you know that your mother is alive and well, and promoted to Rear Admiral. She is overseeing the logistics behind the Crucible project…I figured having another Shepard around might be a good idea.” 

“That’s great news, sir. I’ll admit that I was wondering…”

A knock sounding behind the Admiral distracts him enough he puts up his hand and says, “Wait one, Captain.” Then, after speaking outside the QEC beam in a muffled voice, he returns and beckons to someone behind him, which makes Damien extremely curious. Hackett turns towards him once more and smirks, “I have someone here who wants to speak with you.” He smiles and walks out of sight from the QEC as a new person takes his spot and steps into the beam. 

Damien blinks at the new figure and exclaims, “Mom!” 

Hanna Shepard beams at her son, wearing a dress uniform, showing off her new rank of Rear Admiral. “It’s so good to see you, son.”

Damien automatically comes to attention and salutes his mother, “Congratulations on your promotion.”

Returning the gesture, she says, “Thanks, you too Captain.”

Noticing that she is looking behind her with a smile on her face, and glowing by the looks of it, he asks her slyly, “Is there something you want to tell me?”

She looks back at him and blinks innocently, “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please. You’ve had a crush on him forever. Is there something going on between you two?”

Looking off to the side, she smiles, “Maybe…”

“Uh huh. How long?”

Looking back at him, she says, “Since he rescued me off of my ship, after the destruction of Arcturus.”

Cringing at the loss of so many, Damien focuses on what his mother just told him, “He rescued you?”

“He has tried to tell me that he was rescuing as many survivors as he could, and maybe he was...but, I did notice that he made sure that it was his ship that docked with mine and led the rescue team himself, to find me.” Coughing behind her makes her look at the man in question and laugh, “Don’t be coy, Steven. You do remember who my son is, yes? I can spot deception from a mile away.” Damien laughs when he watches his mother make a shooing gesture. “Off with you, you odious man, I want to speak to my son without you listening in.” Apparently, satisfied that he was leaving, she turns back towards him and winks before saying, “That man does have a great ass.”

Damien turns red and looks down. Did his mom just say Admiral Hackett has a great ass? Apparently so…in the background he hears the Admiral say, ‘Hannah!’ so clearly not out of hearing range yet. Then he sees his mom blow a kiss at the retreating head of the Alliance fleet and shakes his head in wonder; his mother hasn’t changed a bit. 

Waiting for his mom to turn around, he asks the question he first thought of after finding out that she was rescued after Arcturus, several months prior. “Mom, if you’ve been with the Admiral since he rescued you after Arcturus, why did he wait so long to tell me? Why did you? I’ve been worried about you. I know that as a ‘Shepard,’ you can take care of yourself, but…it would have been great to know you were okay.”

Hannah turns to look fully at her son and notes the confused look he is giving her. She runs her eyes over him and notes the dark circles and worry lines around his eyes. She also sees that he has bulked up some since last seeing him on Earth. Curing the genophage and killing Reapers is going to do that to you. She also sees that there is something different about him, a glimmer of hope in his eye. He also seems to be glowing with an inner fire. She instantly recognizes it as something she also feels for a certain someone. Knowing that the Normandy crew compliment recently increased by one, she wonders if that particular someone has something to do with the hope that Damien is now exuding. Hmm…right now though, she needs to make him understand why she’s waited this long to contact him. 

“Damien, I wasn’t okay. I was injured in the attack and was in an induced coma for a time after Steven rescued me. Once I had awakened, it was slow going for a while, but I can tell you that it was because of him being there every day at my bedside, telling me about your exploits in the war...that made me get better so I could see you once again. I’m sorry, son, but I wouldn’t let him tell you. I told him to wait…maybe I shouldn’t have, but I figured you would worry and you wouldn’t be able to do what you needed to do for this war. I’m so sorry that you have been loaded down with the burden of all this. I can understand Steven’s reasoning, but it just kills me that he and Admiral Anderson are asking this of you.”

He shrugs and looks down. Her reasoning for not telling him was sound, but sometimes…it would be nice to be considered a concerned son, not a soldier in the Alliance. Not knowing whether she had survived the destruction of Arcturus or not, had been slowly killing him, piece by piece. Shaking his head, he tries to understand…and finally lets out a loud sigh. She was only being a parent; shielding him in her way…relying on his military upbringing to get him through the worst of it and carry on, reminding him that the mission always comes first. He can rail at her all day for not telling him, but in the end, he knows why she did it. He was already under enough pressure from the war; knowing she was injured would have only added more stress to his already overwhelming role in the war. 

“Damien?”

Looking at her, seeing the concern on her face, he smiles, “I understand, Mom. I’m just glad that you are feeling better now and have someone in your life. You deserve happiness and it has been a long time since Dad. Plus, I highly respect the Admiral. However, just know that if he hurts you…” he leaves the rest of the sentence unsaid, as he looks pointedly at her.

Hannah laughs, “I’m sure he knows what he’s getting himself into. I’m not the easiest woman to date, especially with the great ‘Commander Shepard’ as my son.” She pauses and looks at him suddenly concerned, “My relationship with him won’t make things awkward between you two, will it?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Good. So, what about you? How’s Liara?”

“Uh…” he says and turns away to rub the back of his neck.

Oh, so she was right. She smiles and waits until he looks back at her, “I take it that you have finally come to your senses and ended things with her. Don’t get me wrong, I always liked Liara, it’s just I know she wasn’t the one for you, son. She didn’t make you happy.”

He nods and says, “Yeah, we also realized that and broke up a while ago.”

“So, how’s Kaidan? Fully recovered from his injury back on Mars?”

He looks at her suspiciously, “He’s doing well. He’s a member of my crew now and joining me on missions.”

She smirks at him, “He’s also moved into your cabin, hasn’t he?”

“What!?!”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ Good. It’s about time.”

“Mom…” Damien looks at her aghast for being so blunt.

“What? I know my son. I saw the looks you gave him during the ceremony after ‘The Battle for the Citadel’ and I saw how he acted during your memorial. You boys were meant for each other and I’m glad that you finally realized that.”

Damien shakes his head and rolls his eyes. Apparently everyone knew how he felt for Kaidan before he did. 

“Why don’t you fetch him? I’d like to see him.”

Damien goggles at her, “What? Uh…he’s probably busy working…uh…” Shit! He desperately tries to think up a better excuse so Kaidan doesn’t have a close encounter with his new fiancé’s mother. Fuck! Fiancé…maybe he can get away with not telling her…yet. 

“Oh please, what was it I said earlier, I can detect deception a mile away…I know you, Damien. Being as busy as you are, if it’s possible to keep him close by, you will find a way to do so. Kaidan is in the other room, isn’t he?” Damien blushes and nods looking at the floor, shuffling his feet. She laughs making him look up and frown at her. “Go on, fetch him…I’ll wait.”

“Mom…I’m a grown man, I don’t need to…” at her stern look, he says, “Fine,” and he turns and walks out to the entrance to the QEC and gets Kaidan’s attention and beckons him to come over. Inwardly groaning, he motions him to precede him into the room and stands to the side. 

Curious as to why Damien is asking him to join him, Kaidan walks into the QEC chamber and stops when he sees Admiral Hannah Shepard staring back at him. Oh Shit! He immediately straightens and salutes her.

She waves off his salute and says, “It’s good to see you again, Major. How are you?”

“I am doing well, ma’am. And you?”

“I’m doing very well, especially now that I’ve seen my son again.”

Kaidan looks at a grimacing Damien, quirking an eyebrow and looks back at the Admiral, “Yes, he was worried about whether you survived the destruction of Arcturus. I’m glad to see that you are well.” Confused when she just smiles and continues to look at him, he asks, “Was there something I can do for you, Admiral Shepard?”

She laughs further confusing him. “Kaidan, you can call me Hannah. There’s no need for formality between us.”

“Uh…” he says surprised and looks back at Damien, who has dropped his head into his hands. Finally, understanding dawns and he realizes what this meeting is about, and he blushes and looks up at her and nods. He smiles and says, “Hannah, it is nice seeing you again.” 

She laughs again, enjoying the hilarity of the situation. Feeling more like a mother than an Admiral for once, she says suddenly serious, “Things are going to get much worse before they get better. Now is the time to be honest with each other…don’t waste these precious few moments that you have together…you never know what tomorrow may bring. Trust me, I know. For once, I’m taking my own advice and I’m doing the same thing.”

Curious to what she means about her doing the same thing, Kaidan looks at Damien and sees that he is looking at him with love and so he walks over to him to take his hand. They look up at her together and nod in understanding. 

“I can see that you have made my son very happy, Kaidan. Thank you. I feel better knowing that he has someone who gives him something to live for in all of this chaos. You too…” she says smiling at him. Wiping the tears of happiness from her face, she adds, “Hopefully, I’ll be able to meet up with the two of you, soon, but if not, take care of each other. Speaking of not wasting time, I have to go. Damien, please keep in touch and if you can’t reach me for some reason, tell Steven, and he’ll forward me the message. I love you, son.”

Becoming choked with emotion, Damien nods at his mother and says, “I love you, too.”

Before signing off, Hannah looks at the both of them, “And son…kick ass!”

Laughing, Damien salutes her and says, “Copy that.”

Winking at them, she says, “Admiral Shepard out,” and the QEC clicks off.

Kaidan looks at Damien and brings the hand he is currently holding up to his lips and kisses his palm. He cups his fiancé’s face and leans in to kiss him briefly. Pulling away, he wipes the stray tear from his cheek, “I love you, Damien.”

Damien leans into Kaidan and rests his forehead on his. They stand like that for a little longer and breathe the same air, content to let the chaos of the war rage on without them for a few minutes as they bask in each other’s love. 

{{{}}}

Inter-ship text chat:

From: Commander Garrus Vakarian

To: Captain Damien Shepard

>>

16:23: GV: Now that you are done blowing off steam, come see me…NOW!

16:26: DS: Good afternoon to you too, buddy...and I will never be done blowing off steam. Kaidan is too delectable. Can’t get enough…mmm, tasty.

“Damien…” Kaidan admonishes as he reads the chat over his lover’s shoulder as they hide in the QEC chamber, before possibly getting interrupted again or even having to get back to work. 

Damien chuckles and pulls him closer so he can kiss him again. As he devours his lover’s mouth, he runs his hands over Kaidan’s broad back and down to his ass and grabs him to grind his lower body into his. 

Kaidan moans softly against his lips and gasps when Damien bucks into him; his cock straining against his uniform trousers. It seems Damien really can go for days, because it has only been a couple of hours since their last encounter and he is ready for another round. Groaning as images of their night and morning together flash through his mind, Kaidan grabs Damien’s face and fiercely kisses him in response as their lower halves continue to grind into each other, completely oblivious of any crew who may come upon them. They are hiding within the darkened corner and the war room was vacant when they came in, but truly he doesn’t really care much at the moment. Long ago, after losing Damien the first time, he stopped caring about the frat regs. Besides, it seemed the Normandy crew were decent folk and didn’t seem to care one way or the other if their superior officers were dating or not. 

A loud beep echoes after a few minutes and Damien pulls away breathlessly to look down at his omni-tool and laughs. Apparently, Garrus didn’t appreciate being ignored, especially so he could make-out with his fiancé. 

16:27: GV: Gah! Spare me the details…

16:30: GV: Are you still there? What happened?

16:33: GV: HELLO!

16:35: DS: Sorry…got distracted with something…you were saying?

16:36: GV: Yeah right. Kaidan with you?

16:37: DS: Maybe

16:39: GV: Ugh…you’re hopeless. 

16:40: DS: What do you want, Garrus? If it can wait, I seem to remember that I have until the mission tomorrow, before I’m officially on duty. I have another task that needs my attention right now.

16:42: GV: Sure…meaning you want more alone time with your boyfriend. I’m sure you can stand a few minutes apart from each other. What I want to talk to you about is important. 

Damien looks at Kaidan and nips his lower lip and sucks on it, before turning his head and sucking on his earlobe. “Do you mind, babe? I can very easily wait…”

Gasping as Damien strokes him through his trousers, Kaidan breathlessly says, “Go, Damien. Garrus is your best friend. He’s done us a great favor today and whatever he wants to talk to you about probably needs to be said. Fix whatever rift is between you and come back to me. I’ll be waiting.”

“You’re amazing, my love. Alright…” Damien stops torturing his lover and sends his answer.

16:45: DS: Be right there, Garrus. Shepard out.

Kissing his lover again, lingering just long enough to groan with his need for the man in his arms, he steps back to try to tamp down his desire and distract his wanton thoughts, “Walk you to the elevator, Major?”

“Yeah…although I think I’ll take a detour and go clean my weapons in the cargo bay. Where are we going by the way, I never asked?”

Grimacing at the thought of where they are headed, he waves Kaidan to precede him as they make their way back to the elevator once again. “Oh, you are going to be so thrilled….” Damien says sarcastically and makes a face, making Kaidan suspicious. “Let’s just say, uh…it’s somewhere that both Liara and Garrus, declined to go.”

“Oh?” Kaidan says and then pauses in the hallway leading to the screening room. When has Garrus ever not wanted to use his sniper skills…wait, there was only one condition that always made Garrus hesitate to join the ground team for a mission. It was always when their destinations involved cold climates. That was the only time he ever decided to forego the pleasure of fighting alongside them. And, if Liara is also declining…fuck…there is only one place that fits both scenarios. Shit. “Ugh…you’re not suggesting that we are going to…Noveria?” Kaidan groans.

“You got it.” Seeing Kaidan wince and shiver in anticipation, Damien cups his face to look at him, “You don’t have to come. I have already asked Javik to join me, so I can see how compatible he is with my fighting style, and it’s only a Cerberus fighter base…I can ask James or EDI, if they want to join.”

“No way!” Kaidan says vehemently. “Who’s going to watch your six, babe? I know that you won’t always be able to take me on missions, but when I can join you, I’m there…100%.”

“Ok. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus, as we are the ranking officers on the ship, I would rather have Garrus stay on the Normandy, just in case. Plus, there is always the possibility that Javik won’t take orders from anyone other than us, since we are his direct superiors. Coming from a military background, he seems to recognize rank. So, I figure having you there and as another Spectre, it makes sense that he’ll follow your orders, too.”

“We’ll see. Let’s not keep Garrus waiting…shall we?” Kaidan says as he indicates that Damien should precede him now. When Damien passes him he grabs his hand, “Besides, the sooner you talk to Garrus, the sooner we can continue where we left off…eh?”

His energy sparking a bit, Damien’s eyes glow as he hums and nods. Then releasing his lover’s hand, he walks into the security room and resumes his role of CO and walks back into the CIC, ignoring the few eyes who ogle them and walk into the elevator, that is waiting for them. As soon as the doors shut, they start kissing each other as if they are starved for each other. 

Pulling away breathless, Kaidan moans and lightly brushes his lips over Damien’s shaved cheek, breathing in the fragrance he now associates so much with his lover. “Ping me when you’re done and I’ll meet you back upstairs.”

After asking EDI to halt their elevator on the crew deck, but not open the doors, Damien leans into Kaidan’s ear and whispers, making him shiver, “Can’t wait to be inside you once again and I want to taste you…sooo delicious.”

Wrapping his arms around Damien to rest his head on his shoulder, he sighs, “You know, eventually we will have to show restraint around each other and get back to work. Maybe act like officers in the Alliance?”

“Yes, I know. We will, but tomorrow. Right now, I can’t think of doing anything other than you, babe. Just thinking about you makes me hum with pleasure. But, yes, we will have to return back to our professional selves…but not tonight. Tonight we can be deviants. I’m going to make sure that you are sore again tomorrow after fucking your brains out.” 

“Oh, Gods yes, I want that too.” His voice hoarse and his body shaking with need Kaidan leans into his lover and moans, “Soon. I noticed that you didn’t mention…uh,” he pauses suddenly remembering where they are and looks up at the intercom above their heads, a reminder that EDI is listening. “EDI, delete this conversation, please.” Then he looks at Damien, “You didn’t mention our secret to your mother.” 

“Yeah, like we discussed earlier, I wanted to wait until the time is right.”

“Speaking of which…EDI please don't tell anyone our secret.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Major," EDI says, her voice coming out of the intercom, proving that indeed she was listening. "The only conversations I have overheard between you and the Captain do not match any secret you may have discussed. Both your quarters and the Starboard Observation Lounge are off limits to my monitoring devices. I can extrapolate, however; based on your current metabolic rates...factor in that due to you both being male, that excludes one type of news...and since the Captain has already invited you to live with him...and you have already consummated your relationship...I can assume you mean…”

“That’s enough EDI,” Damien says exasperatingly. “It’s a secret, remember?”

“Understood. Logging you out, Shepard.”

Damien looks at his fiancé's surprised face and starts laughing, knowing that eventually the news will come out and the whole ship will know within minutes of anyone spilling the beans. Such is life on a small ship. 

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Once the elevator opens and he departs on the crew deck, Damien straightens his uniform and his resolve and becomes the great Commander Shepard again, even though his heart is aching to be back with his mate. Even this little bit of separation, almost makes him want to say, ‘fuck it’ and recall the elevator so that they can go back to their cabin and continue what they’ve built together. One day is not enough…but since his other friendships are also important to him, he strides purposefully to the main battery to confront what he knows to be a furious Turian. 

{{{}}}

Gaining entry into Garrus’ inner sanctum, Damien walks over to the railing and leans against it and crosses his arms over his chest to wait for the dressing down that he knows is coming from his XO and best friend.

After several minutes of getting completely ignored, Damien turns towards his friend who is silently cleaning his sniper rifle at his weapon’s station. Thinking maybe he should start by saying something nice, Damien says, “Thank you Garrus, for helping me make today a very special day. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to make a future for myself and Kaidan.”

Garrus turns his head and looks at him, his mandibles fluttering against his face as he thinks about the sincere sentiment and nods succinctly before returning to his task. 

Not used to seeing this side to his friend, since they have always had an easy rapport between them, Damien frowns and walks over to his friend and lays his hand on Garrus’ forearm, stalling his hand. “I’m sorry, Garrus. I never meant to keep you in the dark about Tali and her feelings for you. She is my friend, too, if you remember. She asked me not to tell you. I think she wanted the chance to speak to you herself. It’s just that she got pulled back to her people so quickly after the destruction of the Collector’s base. I really think she thought that she would have more time.” Damien pulls away from Garrus and starts pacing and rubbing the back of his neck in irritation after not getting a response from him. “I will do anything in my power to find her again. I promise…Fuck…not hearing from her thus far in this goddamn war has me feeling nervous…wondering how she’s doing…if she’s safe…hell, she is like a little sister to me. She’s family…Damn it! Please, Garrus…this rift between us…it sucks, to be honest. You are my best friend and confidant…shit…” Damien finishes by mumbling to himself as he continues to pace, his hands gesturing wildly. 

Garrus turns towards his friend and watches him pace in front of him. Wow…Shepard only babbles when he’s nervous or agitated. He must truly be worried about their friendship right now. “Damien…” Garrus says using his given name for the first time, ever.

Realizing this, Damien stops his pacing and looks up at his friend, expectantly.

“You’re forgiven. I think it’s just that I’m so clueless when it comes to the affairs of the heart. When Javik insulted me so blatantly about my feelings for her...I guess that I took it out on you. I’m sorry about that. I’m just worried about her and I…I miss her.”

Damien lets out the pent up breath he was holding and nods at his friend who has started to pace in his stead. Trying to put enough conviction into his voice to believe in what he is about to say, he grabs his friend’s arm again, halting his stride. “I’m sure the reason that Tali hasn’t contacted us is because she is safe and sound and with her people. There’s nothing she can’t handle. She does know how to take care herself…shotgun and all.”

Garrus grunts in acknowledgement, knowing that Damien is trying to give him a reason to breathe easier about the woman that he loves. He grins and latches on to Damien’s last statement. “She did threaten me once with the fact that she has a shotgun and knows how to use it.”

Damien grins, remembering the conversation between them, when they had accompanied him on to the Citadel last year. “She only said that because you tried to dredge up our long lost conversations we had in all those elevators, during our search for Saren.”

Garrus looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes in remembrance of a good memory, “Yeah, good times.”

Damien shakes his head at him and laughs, “You may be the only one who remembers those conversations fondly. I seem to remember that you once insulted Tali…something about; if not for the Quarians and their manipulation of illegal AI software, we wouldn’t have the Geth problem.”

Garrus stares at him and gapes, “Shit! I did, didn’t I? Fuck! Just another reason to find her again…to apologize for my stupidity...”

“I think she has forgiven you for that slip of the tongue, Garrus.”

“I’d like to slip her more than my tongue…” Garrus says as he smirks at his friend.

Damien crosses his arms over his chest and leans his face into a hand and shakes his head. “Ugh…thanks a lot for sharing that little tidbit.”

Garrus laughs and nudges his friend’s shoulder, “Now you know how I feel when you talk about Kaidan.”

Damien raises his head and stares at his best friend, “So…are we okay?”

“Yeah,” Garrus agrees. Looking at Damien more closely, Garrus notices that the shadows under his friend’s eyes have lessened and he seems to be glowing with an inner light. “You look happy, Shepard.”

“I am happy, Garrus. More than I can even describe.”

“Wow…well, whatever Kaidan is exuding to pull that off, I’m impressed.”

Ignoring the comment that Kaidan may be attracting him by secreting something, Damien says, “You will have to ask my fiancé that question,” to distract his friend from continuing that line of thought. 

“What?!?” Garrus sputters in surprise.

Smiling in response to Garrus’ surprise, Damien shrugs nonchalantly even though he wants to shout it to the universe, “Kaidan proposed.”

“Holy Shitballs! Really!”

“Yeah…” Damien says sheepishly.

Garrus walks over and squeezes his shoulder and beams at him, “My friend…my brother…Congratulations!”

Damien jerks his head up at the brother declaration…Garrus has never called him that before, but feels honored to be known as such, and nods at him. 

After patting him on the back, Garrus asks, “Now that you have your happily ever after…you will help me when we meet up with Tali, yes?” He glares at him, daring him to say no.

“Of course, Garrus! Nothing would make me happier than to see my two best friends mated and happy, too. When we find her…not if…when…I will do whatever I can to help you. Okay?”

“Deal.”

Before leaving the main battery, Damien turns towards his friend who is beaming at him, “Let’s keep the ‘fiancé’ news on the DL, please. I’m still getting used to it…I wasn’t supposed to say anything to you, either, but as my best friend, well…”

Already knowing what DL stands for, having Damien explain it in one of their many conversations, Garrus uses the gesture of twisting his lips into silence, “As you humans say, my lips are sealed.”

“Thanks.” 

{{{}}}

“What’s up, Joker?” Damien says as he walks up to the bridge after EDI tells him that Joker wants to speak to him. Joker turns around to face him and he realizes that he’s come face to face with an upset pilot. With his face set in a grimace, like someone has stepped on his favorite hat, Joker scowls at him. Worried, Damien asks, “What’s wrong?”

Examining his nails on one hand, Joker looks over at his co-pilot and asks, “Can we please have privacy mode, EDI?” 

“Of course, Jeff, let me know when you are done and I will return,” she says as she gets up from her chair and leaves without a backward glance, the door to the bridge closing behind her. 

Watching EDI leave, Damien turns back around and looks at his friend, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

Still looking at his hands, Joker asks, “Are we friends, Shepard?”

“Of course.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…what’s going on?”

“Would you consider us best friends?”

Damien looks at him surprised. Then without a second of hesitation, he adds, “Absolutely! You, Garrus, Tali…all three of you have been with me since the beginning and have always supported me. I hope that I’ve been there for you in return. I couldn’t do this without you, Joker. You are not only my friend but the best damn pilot in the galaxy…and I don’t say that lightly. You’ve proven it, time and again. You know that.”

“True.”

“What’s this really about?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? If we are best friends, then when were you going to tell me about your engagement?”

Damien stares at him aghast, “How did you find out? Nobody is supposed to know!”

EDI speaks out of the intercom above them, “I may have let it slip earlier, before you asked me not to tell anyone.”

“Geez, EDI, I asked for privacy mode. That means you don’t listen in on our conversation,” Joker says exasperated at her intrusion. 

“Sorry, Jeff. However, I wanted Shepard to know that you weren’t to be blamed for knowing when he specifically asked for his news to be kept a secret.”

“Uh…thanks EDI. I guess that you were right to interrupt, then. Sorry…” Joker says apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck, a trait that he’s picked up from his friend. 

“That’s okay, Jeff.”

“EDI, does anyone else know?” Damien asks before she logs off. He’s curious to see if during the one minute that EDI had extrapolated the correct answer of their status, in the elevator, and had lived up to her nickname of ‘blabbermouth,’ and told someone. 

“No, Captain. Only Jeff…and uh…Samantha.”

Joker slaps his head and says ‘Ow,’ as Damien rolls his eyes. Of course, Samantha knows. No wonder his Specialist gave him a suggestive wave earlier. Knowing it may already be futile, Damien asks, “Can you ask that Samantha keep this to herself, please? And, whoever else she may have told already?”

There was a pause while EDI relays his message to her girlfriend and Damien and Joker look at each other and grimace, knowing that it’s extremely likely that someone else knows, since Sam isn’t known to keep her mouth shut either. 

EDI chimes in slightly hesitant, “Samantha has been told not to tell anyone. Apparently, she has only written one email that hints at your news and uh…the loop has been closed, Captain.”

Confused from her answer, Damien blinks when a chime rings out of Joker’s omni-tool and curious, he watches when Joker looks down at it to check who is contacting him. 

Seeing the sender, Joker laughs and shows Damien, who’s moved to lean against the partition next to his chair, so he can observe.

Ah…this will be interesting, Damien thinks to himself. 

<<

Inter-relay Text Chat

Location: Unknown

From: Rose Petal

To: Jeff ‘Googly Bear’ Moreau

>>

Damien looks at the To: field at the nickname and snorts before starting to laugh. Joker looks up at him and flips him off before reading the first entry:

18:01: RP: Hey, babe. Heard the news, yet?

18:02: JM: Yeah. EDI told me.

18:04: RP: Exciting stuff. 

18:05: JM: You can say that again. It’s about frigging time, too. They’ve only been making gaga eyes at each other for four years, now. 

Damien scoffs and flips him off, when Joker looks up at him and smirks.

18:07: RP: We should send an engagement present.

18:08: JM: What would you recommend? You always have great ideas.

18:09: RP: Smooches, babe. That’s sweet. Although, my last idea landed us in trouble and Shep had to bail you out of the C-Sec jail…remember? 

18:10: JM: Not really. I was trashed, babe. The only thing I remember is having sex surrounded by really cold water and on one of the benches in the Presidium. Not really all that comfortable, if I remember correctly...

Damien interrupts by choking on his groan, remembering having to bail Joker out of the drunk tank at C-Sec headquarters on the Citadel. This was after celebrating their success over the destruction of the Collector’s Base and their declaration of freedom from Cerberus. The crew had taken him out for celebratory drinks at the local dance club, Purgatory; the new club owned by Aria. Mostly, he spent the night chaperoning; over his adopted son, Grunt, from not trashing the place; a weepy Garrus, moaning into his dextro drinks about Tali leaving to join up with the Flotilla the day before; and bailing Jack, Joker, & Zaeed out of jail for roughhousing . Or the charge of drunken disorderly, in Joker’s case. Or at least, that was the trumped up charge, Bailey gave him. When, Bailey had explained where Joker had been found, he didn’t quite believe what the man told him until now. It seems though, that Joker had been led astray from his very elusive girlfriend and was found skinny-dipping with said girlfriend in the lake on the Presidium and streaking naked across the parklike settings. It had taken him and Thane three trips to gather everyone back on the Normandy and dump them in their bunks to sleep it off, before Damien could take a breather for himself. He had ended up drinking a few beers with Jacob and Miranda, in the lounge. Not his first choice, since he didn’t want to encourage Jacob’s hero worship and Miranda was still miffed that he turned her down. This was only after locking the Normandy down, so no one else could leave and cause trouble. He’ll have to thank his buddy, Commander Bailey again, for making sure Joker was released into his custody without having to serve additional time. Shaking his head in disbelief, he rakes his hands over his face and looks through his fingers at Joker when he laughs at him. 

18:13: RP: Yeah, the benches weren’t all the comfortable. You’re right. Don’t worry, we have lots more places to find on the Citadel that have a greater potential for trying out those positions that you’ve been researching by watching all of that porn, so diligently. I especially liked the last one, it reminded me of…

Gah! Damien gets off the partition he’s been leaning against and starts pacing in front of Joker’s chair. Joker laughs wickedly and enjoys his CO’s discomfort at knowing about his sex life. 

18:15: JM: You’re making Shepard uncomfortable, babe. He’s here with me.

18:16: RP: Oh, yeah. Sam mentioned that he might be with you if I contacted you. 

18:18: JM: Nice one, babe. I like your type of torture. Sweet, sweet, torture… 

18:19: RP: Only for you. Miss you.

18:20: JM: Miss you too.

18:21: RP: Is Shep still there?

18:22: JM: Yeah…you want to talk to him?

A request to make their text chat a vidcall instead, chimes over his omni-tool and Joker switches it over. A picture of his girlfriend appears over his haptic display, a hood hiding her beautiful blue eyes, as she smiles at him. Her smile is full of secrets only he can interpret and she blows him a kiss. “Hey…looking good, babe. I always loved to watch you fly.”

Joker blows a kiss back, “I always fly better when you’re at my side. I wish I could see you in person. It has been too long.”

“I know…I’m sorry that I can’t join you on the Normandy, but I’m doing great work here, Jeff.”

“I know…it’s just hard.”

“Yeah…hey Shep?”

Damien walks back to the partition and leans against it as Joker angles his tool at him, so he can see the screen. He nods at the image, “Rose Petal, it is good to see you.”

“That pseudonym doesn’t work on you, since you know the significance behind it.”

“I figured that since a red rose was your calling card at one time, the name of ‘Rose Petal’ had to be you, Kasumi.”

“Yeah, well. I have to keep up appearances…or at least to those I don’t care about. You two though, you’re family. If not for you, Shep, I wouldn’t have Jeff. It’s because of you and giving me your advice after Keiji that I've found real happiness with him. Thank you.” 

Damien nods and lays a hand on Joker's shoulder, gently squeezing it, always cognizant of not putting too much pressure on his friend’s fragile bone structure. “Although, I understand why you turned me down, you are surely missed here on the Normandy. No one quite has your flair or your type of combat style of fighting…I always enjoyed fighting with you at my side, Kasumi.”

“Speaking of which, I heard you got a new crewmember and that congratulations are in order.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.”

Kasumi smiles and has to look away to blink the emotion out of her eyes, missing these two amazing men in her life...their constant bickering…the camaraderie she felt while serving with the two of them and the other crew members on the Normandy, the year prior. Just thinking about the type of exploits they got up to…she smiles in remembrance. However, she didn’t lie to Shepard when he offered her another chance to be on the Normandy, again, after helping her save the Hanar homeworld. Even with the prospect of seeing Joker every day, their sojourn through the Omega 4 relay was too much. Even with a heavy heart, she had to decline Shepard’s offer, and go her own way. They were able to compromise though and she was recruited to work as the Shadow Broker’s counterpart on the Crucible project. Her immeasurable skills as a former thief had come in handy on the immense logistics behind building it. So, all in all, she was still able to play an integral role in the war…just not on the Normandy, itself. However, not being with Joker 24/7 was also extremely hard, but she trusted Shepard to keep Jeff safe and sound. But, her working on the Crucible was also her way of helping Joker focus on his job; as badass pilot extraordinaire, and not worry that his girlfriend was in harm’s way. Being under Hackett’s command, helped the both of them stay in contact, too. It was just the distance that was hard, seeing him like this, laughing at his friend, smiling at her…she missed him so much. 

To be honest, it wasn’t just Jeff she missed; it was also what it meant to serve on the Normandy with Shepard. He was a force to be reckoned with and no one could rally the troops better than Damien Shepard. But to her, Shepard was more than a leader, but also a fierce and loyal friend and confidant. Over their tenure together, they had become a family…the lot of them. Shepard had not only helped her grieve over her lost love, Keiji, but had also encouraged her to pursue her attraction to Jeff. He had also whole-heartedly approved of her moving on and rocking the world of the belligerent pilot, he was so fond of. 

Kasumi jerks suddenly after hearing Joker say her name, a question in his eyes. She waves her hand in dismissal and deflects with humor, taking a page out of his book. “About that present…would you appreciate some S&M stuff? I came across a shipment of it a while ago and kept a few key pieces,” she says winking at Jeff. 

Damien laughs and shakes his head when he sees that Joker’s ears have reddened in embarrassment and he’s ducked his head under the brim of his hat to hide his eyes. 

Feeling a little wicked, Joker smirks, “Nah, babe. S&M is too hardcore for our illustrious friend, here. I’m sure his sex life with Kaidan is too ‘vanilla’ for such things.”

Kasumi sniggers when she sees that Damien has narrowed his eyes at his ‘ex-friend.’ She’s surprised when he retaliates and grins at her, winking, “Put me down for handcuffs and blindfolds, Kasumi…if you got any.”

Kasumi laughs and gives a two-fingered salute and winks back at him when Joker mimes a gag. “Pfft. That’s enough, I have to sleep later and I don’t want to wake up screaming in horror over those images.”

“Hey…be nice, Joker. Remember that drunk tank incident I just relived in my head?” When Joker and Kasumi snigger, Damien arches an eyebrow at them and adds, “I have a news reporter living on the ship, remember? Payback is a bitch.”

“You’re no fun, Commander…” Joker shakes his head smiling despite the threat.

“Didn’t you get promoted, Shep?” Kasumi asks confused, cocking her head at them and then looking at her boyfriend pointedly. 

Joker ducks his head, sheepishly, and looks at his friend. “Uh…I don’t know, I guess the household name of ‘Commander Shepard,’ is just too ingrained…I sometimes forget. Sorry, sir, I…”

Damien waves his hand and shakes his head, “Joker, it’s okay. I forget sometimes, too.”

“Isn’t your first name, Damien? We’re friends, right? We should call each other by our first names,” Kasumi declares making the decision for them. 

Joker shakes his head, disagreeing, “Hmm, that’s the military training, babe. You don’t call your CO by his first name, even when you’re friends, I guess. Although, after the war…”

“You can call me whatever you like, Joker. I don’t call you by your first name often enough, either. It’s pretty ingrained, I guess, the rules about rank. Either way…I don’t think there is any situation where you could upset me, we’ve been through too much shit together,” Damien says grinning at the two of them. 

“Yeah, I’ve even killed you once…” Joker pauses as he grimaces over his not so funny joke about their one very bad day. 

“Babe…” Kasumi says automatically, her voice stern. 

“Joker…” Damien says at the same time, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him going down that road again. 

“Yeah, yeah…” Joker says waving at the both of them, knowing what they are going to say: It wasn’t really his fault…shit happens…even if he had evacuated when the order was given, more people would have died…he did his duty as ship’s pilot and Damien did his as Captain…blah blah blah…same old tired lines. “Anyway, we shouldn’t keep Shepard here, I’m sure he has other people to see, or do…oops.” Joker smirks with a twinkle in his eye, trying like hell to move them past their last topic. When Damien glares at him and scoffs, Joker looks at his girlfriend’s image, “Did you know, babe, that Shepard here is actually taking a day off?”

Understanding that Joker is backpedaling to get their attention off of his slip of the tongue, Kasumi eyes her friend as he rolls his eyes at them, “Doesn’t look like it? Do you wear your uniform in bed, too?”

“Maybe we should ask Major Alenko. I bet he would tell us,” Joker says thoughtfully and grins innocently at Damien as he frowns at him. 

Kasumi laughs, “You know, uniforms can be sexy too. There are all sorts of porn centered around…”

Damien raises his hands in the air and says, “I surrender. Please stop. If you want privacy to talk about porn…which is Joker’s favorite topic, by the way,” and pauses when Joker scoffs and Kasumi laughs, “Then, I’ll leave you to it. It was good seeing you again, Kasumi. It’s always great to see that my friends are thriving and staying safe.”

“Shep…I’ll keep your secret for you…about your engagement. Although, I think your mother would like to know eventually.”

“Your mother?” Joker says surprised as he looks at the two of them.

Damien nods, “Yeah, when Admiral Hackett called earlier, he informed me that my mother was alive and well and promoted to Rear Admiral. We talked for a bit. It was great to see her.”

“That wasn’t all she told him. I’ll tell you later, babe,” Kasumi smirks when Joker jerks and looks at her expectantly. 

“Do you know everything, Kaz?” Damien sputters.

“You do remember what I do for a living, right? I would be a very poor thief, if I didn’t have my resources.”

“You and Liara should talk…”

“Who do you think I do business with?”

“You know what? I don’t want to know…” Damien waves away the statement and looks away. 

Joker laughs and winks at his girlfriend.

Seeing the wistful expressions of his favorite couple of friends as they look at each other, Damien adds, “Maybe after a few more missions, which Admiral Hackett wants me to check out, we’ll stop by for a visit? It would be great seeing you again. Plus, I would like to see my mother in person. It’s been a long time.” 

Not one to leave a conversation without having the last say, Kasumi smirks and says, “Don’t be too long, Shep. I need another few shots of my googly bear to tide me over for a while…”

Damien takes that crude imagery as his sign to leave and waves goodbye after chuckling when Joker blushes and Kasumi wickedly laughs as she waves goodbye. 

{{{}}}

“Did you hear the good news?” James asks Steve as he sidles over to the requisition console that his friend is currently working on.

“What’s that?” Steve says absentmindedly as he finishes up the last order of goods that Garrus had sent him and looks over at James as he leans up against the console with his arms crossed.

“Shepard and the Major…it seems that they finally did the deed, if you know what I mean.” James says waggling his eyebrows at his friend, suggestively. “Also, it seems that the Major was invited to stay permanently and has moved in with him.”

“Huh…” Steve says grunting in acknowledgement, turning back to his console to double check that he hadn’t forgotten anything. “What makes you think that?”

James chuckles wickedly, “I ran into Shepard at lunch. He was either extremely hungry or picking up enough food for two people who had been getting busy all night and had the munchies.” 

“Maybe he was just really hungry,” Steve says contradictory.

James scoffs, “And then there was EDI, who mentioned to me that Shepard was not to be disturbed for any reason unless it was a priority call by Admiral Hackett himself. Plus, according to Joker, the last time he saw any footage of the Major, he had all his stuff packed and hasn’t left the CO’s cabin since last night. So to me, that means that 'Kamien' has officially been launched and put to bed…probably several times over.” 

“Kamien?” Steve says confused.

“You know…when two celebrities get busy and you combine their names? Kaidan…Damien…and viola, Kamien! I am the nickname guy, I have to stay up with the times,” James says buffing his T-shirt looking pleased with himself. 

“Huh…” Steve says again and looks down and away with a hurt expression.

Surprised at Steve’s noncommittal acknowledgement and hurt look on the discussion of their friend’s sex life, James looks at Steve more closely and notices that he’s grimacing. Why would Steve be uncomfortable with the news? Thinking back through all their conversations, James winces when he remembers vaguely a conversation they had a month back after the Tuchanka bomb mission, while drinking a lot of Mescal Tequila, trying to get the images of all the worthless deaths of the 9th platoon, especially the Primarch’s son, out of their heads. During their drunken recollections of other missions that measured up to being just as shitty, Esteban had mentioned that he had a crush on Shepard. Shit! So, that is why his friend is looking like he’s been punched in the gut. Looking sideways at the other occupant in the room at the weapons’ bench cleaning his weapons from their last mission to Eden Prime, James leans into his friend and lowers his voice, “Sorry man, I didn’t realize you still held a torch for Shepard.”

Jerking back and then also stealing a glance at their visitor, Steve whispers, “Do you want to get me killed, James?”

“Why would he do that, Esteban? Besides, it’s not as if he’s listening right now. Look at him, he’s listening to music. See…he’s bobbing his head.” James says pointing at the Major.

Looking over and seeing just the thing that James pointed out, Steve sighs. “Fine, yes, I was holding a torch for our CO, especially after he helped me with my grief over Robert. But, Shepard never once gave any indication that he was interested. Besides, we all were of the inclination that he and Liara were involved.”

Nodding James says, “That’s true, although, I always suspected that that was a front. You never saw them together…you never heard them talk about each other…hell, there wasn’t even any spark between them, not like the chemistry that sparked as soon as the Major showed up.” Seeing that his words probably hurt his friend, because he lowered his eyes and clenched his jaw, James leans in and says, “I’m sorry, Esteban, but I think Shepard already knew deep down who he wanted. You have to be happy at least that he’s found someone to love in all this chaos. I just hope that both you and I get to find that as well, someday.”

Steve looks up into his friends eyes and nods hesitantly, “Yeah…your right. Shepard does seem to be a lot happier these days and I think that they complement each other really well. Not that I haven’t had my fantasies of being with him…Fuck!” Steve laughs sardonically and then sighs, “Shepard is an extremely attractive man, not just physically, but he’s the whole package.” Steve rubs his hand over his face and looks at James, “I am happy for them, truly, it’s just…”

“Yeah, I get it. I understand for you…I mean…What you’re saying. It’s just I’ll have to take your word for it since I don’t swing that way. But, to be honest, until the Major showed up, I didn’t think Shepard did either.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “I don’t think you do understand, it’s not whether you swing one way or the other, or both, it’s sometimes just as simple as ‘what the heart wants, is what the heart wants.’ And, it seems as though Shepard wants the Major. The awesome part of this…even though it hurts a little knowing…is that the feeling is mutual and the Major wants him back. That’s an amazing feeling…trust me, I know.” 

“Uh huh, like I said. Great News!” James says impishly looking at his friend with a twinkle in his eye. He knew what he said was going to get Steve’s hackles up and defend what he already knew, that Kaidan and Shepard’s relationship was a great thing to happen to their CO, who is not only their fearless leader in this goddamn war, but their friend and confidant. Someone who has put his life on the line many times over, to not only save theirs, but to save the whole galaxy from annihilation. If one man/woman/alien could give this savior one moment or a lifetime of peace and happiness, from the horrors of their situation, then so be it. For, that is something to fight for, and damnit not only did Shepard deserve happiness...they all did. 

Understanding suddenly dawns on Steve that James knew exactly what to say to rile him, and realizing that he fell for it, hook, line, and sinker, he elbows him in the stomach and mumbles, ‘asshole,’ making James laugh at him after rubbing the ache away from the slight. Not appreciating being laughed at, Steve strong arms his friend into a choke hold leaving enough room for his friend to continue to laugh at him. “Come on, idiot; let’s go drink some of that rotgut Tequila you have stashed upstairs. We are both off duty and I can’t think of anything better to do than drink your ugly ass under the table, while you try to take my money in poker.”

Extricating himself from the chokehold, James follows his friend to the elevator and nudges his shoulder in gest, making Steve shove him back good naturedly. Finally able to see his friend get over his sadness, James laughs as they enter the elevator to take them to the crew quarters and the Tequila waiting for them. 

{{{}}}

Watching the two friends leave the cargo hold together, Kaidan grins. After being warned earlier by Damien that James was on to them making their relationship official, he had decided to wander down to clean his weapons and fake listen to music, just to see if their new relationship status was bothering any of the crew. However, he hadn’t known that Steve had at one time had a crush on Damien, but wasn’t surprised really. Not feeling jealous, for once, since he knew Steve to be an honorable man, Kaidan couldn’t blame him for recognizing that Damien was quite the catch. Not only was he attractive physically, but it was more than that. What Steve said was true, Damien was the whole package. Thinking that he needed another round of private time with Damien after last night and this morning along with the breakfast and lunch in bed surprise, Kaidan asks EDI where Damien was. Finding out he was talking to Liara in her quarters, Kaidan asks EDI to tell their CO that he wants to see him in the Starboard Observation room, asap. 

{{{}}} 

“What’s up, Kaidan? I thought we were meeting upstairs.”

Looking around the room without seeing his fiancé, Damien suddenly stills from the waist down and can’t move a muscle, realizing that he’s caught in a partial stasis field. Hearing a growl from behind him, he turns his head just enough to see Kaidan walk up from leaning against the wall next to the door. “Kaidan…what?”

“EDI, please lock the Starboard Observation Lounge and make sure we are not to be disturbed.”

“Of course, Major Alenko. I will inform Garrus that he is in charge for the time being. Logging you out Shepard,” she says with a slight tinge of humor in her voice as the lock is engaged on the door.

Raising an eyebrow at his lover, Shepard says, “All you had to do was ask, babe. There is no need for a stasis field.”

Walking around Shepard and eyeing him lasciviously, Kaidan purses his lips and says, “I think there is, Damien. Now I can have my wicked way with you.”

“Oh really? You know I can get out of this easily, right?”

“But you won’t, will you, when you know it’s my turn to ravish you, my love.”

Moaning at the thought, Damien releases the energy he was going to use to break out of the stasis field and waits for Kaidan to make his move. 

Kneeling down in front of Damien, Kaidan releases his belt and slides his trousers down his legs along with his boxer briefs, revealing that he is achingly hard and leaking pre-cum in anticipation. “Hmm, it seems that you are already ready for me, babe. Was it something I said?”

Damien chuckles, “You know that all I have to do is think about you and I get this way…” and moans in ecstasy when Kaidan licks him from root to tip and starts sucking on his head, lapping up his pre-cum with his tongue and starts using his mouth and hands in tandem as the vibration of the stasis field starts to hum around him, “Spirits, Kaidan…I’m going to come, babe, if you don’t release me. The vibrations are…Oh Gods….” 

Pulling Damien closer to try to swallow as much of his cock as possible, Kaidan slowly narrows the field down to Damien’s groin area and Damien, unable to handle the multiple onslaught of hand, mouth, and mass effect energy on his cock, orgasms into his lover’s mouth, shooting his hot seed down Kaidan’s throat as he swallows every drop, loving the salty sweet taste of him.

Unable to stay upright after another amazing blowjob, Damien staggers over to the bed in the corner, after Kaidan releases him, and falls face first. Rolling over onto his back, Damien looks up to see a smug Kaidan as he disrobes and stands at the edge of the bed, naked, looking down at him. “Unbe-fucking-lievable, babe. I didn’t know you could do that with a stasis field. I will never look at that talent the same way again, ever.”

Kaidan sits on the edge of the bed and starts to stroke himself, slowing down when he catches Damien watching him. “Never done that before…but I’ve always wanted to try it. Obviously, it’s something I think you will want to try again?”

Sitting up to take off his boots and what’s left of his clothes, Damien sits back to watch the show of Kaidan stroking himself, “Fuck yeah! I think I just might need you to teach me that trick so I can use it on you.”

Kaidan raises an eyebrow and purses his lips, “I think we can try to fit in a little training…sure. If I can train myself to use Reave, then you can train a new talent, as well. You are very powerful and can probably do anything you put your mind to, Damien.”

Damien goes to his knees and leans in to pull Kaidan down on top of him to kiss him and whisper softly in his ear, “Is that right…I think my mind is saying that I want to fuck you, Kaidan. What do you think of that?”

Pulling away to look at his very aroused fiancé, Kaidan leans over to the nightstand and grabs his bottle of lube, “Gods, Damien, I want you so fucking much. Can we skip the foreplay and go right to the fucking? I need you inside me right now…” Kaidan whispers huskily and hands the bottle to Damien and flips his body around to lean on his hands and knees. Looking behind him, Kaidan leers at his surprised lover, “That was an order, soldier.”

Smirking, Damien salutes and says, “As my Major commands.”

{{{}}} ... {{{}}}

Sometime during the night cycle after several more rounds of biotic adventures in bed, Damien and Kaidan found themselves back up in their quarters on Deck 1. This was due to a side comment from Kaidan, when he mentioned that their bed was much softer and more comfortable. Not being able to say no to his beloved, Damien bundled his fiancé up in a blanket, grabbed their clothes after wrapping a sheet around his own naked body and they made a mad dash to the elevator; once they made sure that the coast was clear with EDI. The only camera that recorded their presence was hooked up to a monitor in the XO’s cabin. Fortunately, Liara was for once taking her CO’s advice and getting some much needed rest of her own. Her only perplexing thought was not of a lost lover, but of a mysterious four-eyed alien who constantly plagued her dreams, especially after he sought her out and asked her about the nature of Shepard’s day off...specifically why everyone was so interested in his sex life. 

That was an interesting conversation…especially after the topic moved on to one that was closer to home than human sexual behaviors…and more on Asari mating rituals... 

Let’s just say, Javik got an education on more than he asked for…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Regarding the Stasis scene in the Starboard Observation Lounge - I understand that stasis fields immobilize their intended target, but I figure that the old adage of who ever dealt it can manipulate it, works in this case. Plus, I was able to melee a target in a stasis bubble in ME2 and he moved accordingly. Never did that before. Always stayed away from stasis…not anymore. Even Damien has a new appreciation for the talent. :P
> 
> Regarding the Liara bit at the end...I just wanted to give a little hint at what is to come. 
> 
> Hoped you liked this chapter...I wanted to give the other characters scenes of their own with Damien during his much needed day off. This has been a long couple of days for my guys...the next chapter will be about Noveria and back to work for Damien and Kaidan.


	14. Unity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is rated 'M' for mature content; implied sexual relations and combat situations. 
> 
> Due to life intervening, I had to take a break from writing for a while. I never meant to leave this story for this long, but I am excited to share that I have written a lot of the next three chapters and hope to post again soon. Thanks for all the kudos and comments. It pleases me to know that my story makes people smile. :)

{{{}}}

“SHEPARD!!!”

No, no, no, no…Oh Gods! Not now. Not after just finding each other…after making a life with each other. 

Kaidan’s heart clenches in despair as he watches in horror as his nightmare from the night before comes to fruition, right before his very eyes… “NO!!! SHEPARD!!!”

{{{}}}

That morning had started out so memorable. So normal. 

Waking up in the arms of his fiancé…his lover…was something Kaidan will never get tired of. It was made even more delicious, due to how Damien woke him up, with just the right amount of incentive, too. Kaidan grins to himself, remembering. Damien was so attentive, so gentle…right up till he’s encouraged not to be. A little aggression goes a long way, especially when you want to live every moment together, to the fullest. 

The only drawback to Kaidan’s morning with his lover was the nightmare he dreamt the night before. However, Kaidan had decided not to tell Damien, not wanting to spoil the moment. In actuality, he figured it was just the natural way his mind was adjusting to their new situation, prior to a mission. It was a huge undertaking to try to separate his relationship with his fiancé vs. his CO, something he knows will be difficult to do, at times. However, even though they had talked about it the previous day, it was a necessity…with their busy lives…as Alliance officers and fellow Spectres. Kaidan knew that most importantly, if he wanted to watch Shepard’s six while on missions, he had to shove the sense of panic and pain of the thought of losing him, to the side. Or, at least wait to examine those emotions until after the war was over and just focus on the here and now…especially when Damien was so enthusiastic about the importance of morning sex. 

After a brief but satisfying shower together, the two of them got ready for the day after receiving notice from Joker that they were two hours out from Noveria. Not needing any further motivation other than a little kissing and some over the clothes action, they managed to get ready, without much delay. They even managed to be professional in the mess when eating their breakfast…well, at least outwardly so, unless you had a direct line of sight of them covertly touching each other under the table. Not surprisingly, their fellow friends weren’t fooled and they weathered several sly winks and sniggers, whenever they smiled mischievously at each other. 

Later, in the conference room as they waited for the rest of the ground crew and command staff to arrive for the mission briefing, Kaidan found it quite difficult to focus on his accumulated emails he had received since sequestering himself away with Damien for the past two days. He was thoroughly distracted, to be honest, by continuously sneaking glances of how perfect Damien filled out his uniform; while he, Garrus, and Liara met to discuss what had been happening the last few days and catch up on any last minute details on the mission since arriving within system. Finding it difficult to concentrate, Kaidan’s eyes glaze slightly as they wander over Damien’s ass, and unconsciously licks his lips as he remembers just how yummy Damien looks naked. He blinks suddenly when he hears Garrus chortle at him and blushes bright red when Damien turns around to look at him across the room and winks before smiling in return, having guessed what was on his mind. Embarrassed, Kaidan turns bodily around to keep from ogling his fiancé as he tries harder to read his correspondence…for the third time. Feeling hot suddenly, he adjusts his uniform after remembering how Damien had used his luscious body and hands over the past few days, and gives up before rereading his email again. Instead, he drops his datapad to hide his obvious discomfort in a certain area as he reflects that his life has forever been changed because of this beautiful man. Smiling, Kaidan leans back against the wall and feels genuinely happy for the first time in a long time, especially considering how the rest of the galaxy is fairing at this moment. 

Damien sidles over to him, apparently done with his debrief with Garrus and Liara and mirrors his stance. Seeing his fiancé smiling at him, he leans in closer and whispers, “Want to share the secret?”

“Not really a secret, Shepard. I’m just really happy.”

Damien gifts him a beautiful smile and nudges his shoulder. Since, they are about to be inundated with people, the doors to the security room just then opening to reveal a line of the crew passing through, Damien straightens into parade rest and whispers, “Ditto.”

{{{}}}

Waiting for his crew to assemble around the large conference table, Damien clears his throat to gain everyone’s attention. “A couple of light topics to begin with, before we move on to the mission brief on Noveria…a favorite locale of ours…” He pauses when the SR1 alumni snicker after his statement, regarding their last dismal visit to the ice planet, making him smile. Then, he straightens and scrolls through his datapad and looks around at his staff. “Apparently, our staff is a bunch of overachievers and the Alliance brass would like to award them with granting a few of my recommendations…finally.” When Garrus and Liara laugh at his side note, Damien continues and says looking at his crew standing around the conference table, “Hmm, it seems a few of my crew are out of uniform.”

After receiving a few confused looks, Damien smiles mischievously and reads from his datapad, “Staff Lieutenant James Vega, you are hereby promoted to Lieutenant Commander. You are also awarded the status of N3 after your achievements throughout the war, so far. Since, ICT training is on hiatus until the war is over, you will automatically be placed within N4 training upon its return. Congratulations, LC.” 

Stunned and a little shocked at the news, James blinks and exclaims, “Wow.” After receiving his new designation and promotion orders through his omni-tool haptic display, he blushes slightly when everyone starts to clap and slap him on the shoulder with congratulations after the shock wears off from their CO’s announcement. 

After the camaraderie quietens down, Damien smiles and looks around the assemblage once again. Finally glancing at his next intended target; Joker, who frowns slightly at him, Damien smirks, “Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, you are hereby promoted to Lieutenant Commander. This is due in no small part to your excellence as the best pilot in the galaxy and your achievements at the ‘Battle of the Citadel’ and our arduous journey through the Omega 4 relay. It has also come to the brass’ attention that you have taken it upon yourself to share flight maneuvers with other pilots; especially those that include the few close calls we’ve had while outrunning Reaper ships and drones within our system searches, gathering the data needed for our never ending requests. Just the fact that you’ve taken the lead in making sure everyone has a fighting chance against our enemy is enough to get the tongues wagging about your performance, Joker. It’s about time too, my friend. A long time coming…and I’m thrilled to be the one to promote you. Keep up the good work!”

Joker blinks, despite himself, for being shocked at seeing the emotion of pride in his friend’s eyes and blushes a dark red, making him pull down his ever present ball cap over his eyes as his fellow crew mates start to congratulate him. Clearly at a loss for words, for once, he looks at his friend and CO, and smiles and nods his thanks. 

Smiling brilliantly over making his friend feel uncomfortable, even though well deserved, Damien turns to his assistant. “Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor, you are hereby promoted to Staff Lieutenant, due to your achievements, thus far, in the war and your duties served upon the Normandy. Without your unwavering due diligence, we never would have been able to save the students at Grissom Academy as well as the Ex-Cerberus scientists on Gellix. Congratulations!”

Blushing, Samantha straightens to attention and says, “Thank you, sir,” in her crisp British accent. 

“Other promotions have been granted for our engineer technicians; Ken Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels, to 2nd Lieutenant, as their service has been exemplary and should have been promoted long ago, as well. Their dedication to the upkeep of the Normandy needed to be awarded and is a clear sign that they deserve to join the officer’s ranks. I will inform them later upon our return from Noveria, since they and Lieutenant Adams could not be here during the briefing.” Seeing that everyone is smiling and relaxed, Damien continues with his update. “A few other tidbits before we start the mission brief. As Garrus is the XO, I’ve requested that Liara take 3rd chair, if both he and I are indisposed for some reason, with our new LCs as back-up. That way the chain of command is unbroken.” 

“Uh, what about Major Alenko, sir,” Joker says pointing at him across the table.

Smiling at his fiancé, Damien nods at his crew and says, “As I’m sure you are all aware, Major Alenko and I are together, now. As such, as I’m sure he would agree, if I am indisposed, I would imagine that he is as well. Also, as a Council Spectre, be he a Major in the Alliance or not, he is excluded from the command structure onboard the Normandy. That being said, since he does hold the rank of Major, he is to be treated as such.” Kaidan looks at him and nods in understanding, knowing what he is leading up to. 

Sam looks at the two of them and asks, “Why is he excluded, sir. I’m confused.”

Damien smirks at Kaidan and answers bluntly. “As a Council Spectre, he can abscond with our ship whenever he so chooses, should his mission deem it necessary to accomplish it favorably. At any cost, as the saying goes.”

“What?” Joker chokes out, shocked. “I didn’t know Spectres could do that.”

Damien grins at him, “You did say Spectres are trouble. Did you not?”

Rolling his eyes, Joker grunts in acknowledgement. “Pfft. Yes, I did, didn’t I?” he says remembering that very conversation, back on the SR1, just before their first mission; Eden Prime. They all knew how that ended up. 

Damien shrugs and says offhandedly, “I guess you were correct in your assessment then, Joker.”

Shaking his head at him, Joker frowns in consideration. “So, since you are also a Spectre, then…”

“No need. The Council and the Alliance are on the same footing when it comes to me. I absconded with the Normandy when you picked me up on Earth, if you recall.”

Joker huffs and cognizant of his new promotion to LC, he glares at his CO, when clearly he wants to flip him off, instead. Forgoing the gesture, for once, he turns his back on Damien and looks out the window at the passing stars, trying not to smile at his friend’s cheekiness.

Trying not to laugh at Joker’s plight at being called out on his own actions; Kaidan looks around the room and says just to mollify any ruffled feathers at the news of the duties of Spectres, “I have no need to steal the Normandy. Especially, since I am here at the behest of the Council and Captain Shepard’s express permission.” 

Garrus looks at him slyly, “We never expected you to do anything else, Major. I think we can all agree that your presence here has greatly affected the moral of all concerned.” 

Most of the rest of the staff smile and start to laugh, with one exception. EDI looks confused and leans in conspiratorially to her girlfriend and asks loud enough for everyone to hear, “He means the moral of Shepard, right?”

After covering her face to hide her blush, Sam shushes her, when everyone laughs at her embarrassment. 

Chuckling at Sam’s expense, Damien sobers and says, “Alright, let’s begin the briefing.” Everyone straightens and turns to stare at the giant haptic display against the outer glass wall of the conference room, currently displaying their destination. “As you can see, we are looking at the ice planet of Noveria where a Cerberus Fighter base has taken residence of one of the abandoned conglomerates. Unfortunately, we are arriving during the stormy season and as such, the LZ is currently experiencing some gale force winds, which you can imagine will make landing near our target almost impossible. It’s too bad we don’t have a Mako anymore or within driving distance of Port Hanshan, since they also have one.” Damien breaks off and sighs in remembrance of their numerous missions driving from one end of their planetary AO to the other, during their search for Saren, three years ago.

Kaidan and Liara groan and Garrus glares at Damien and says one word, “No.”

Damien blinks and looks at his friends, who are shaking their heads at him. “Oh, come on, guys. You can’t tell me the Mako wasn’t awesome. It was a tank…a beautiful tank, if I might say so. I miss it.”

James grins and nods, “I’m right there with you, Captain.” Nudging Cortez with an elbow, he adds, “The Mako is pure brilliance. The best tank, ever.”

Looking at James who has given him a thumb up gesture in regards to his statement over the Mako, Damien smiles at his SR1 companions and smirks, “See? James agrees with me.”

Garrus glares at the newly minted LC and says, “You wouldn’t say that after blowing chunks from planet to planet due in no small part to Shepard’s driving skills.”

Joker sniggers when Damien says, “Hey,” faking a hurt gesture by grabbing his chest.

After checking his own omni-tool stats of the weather on Noveria, Cortez pipes up to join their conversation. “Based on the newest data regarding that weather system, the eye of the storm will miss the LZ by 50 klicks. It will still be extremely dangerous, but after finding a topographical map of the area, if you come into the base from the mountainside, there is a clearing big enough for me to drop your ground team off a klick to the south. Any other direction would be problematic since the base is sitting on a cliff overlooking a deep gorge...which is probably why Cerberus picked it, I guess.”

Waiting for Cortez to update their onscreen data, Damien looks at the new data and nods, “We will have to wear our helmets and be wary of the wind with our biotics, but your assessment has merit, Lieutenant. Good job.”

{{{}}}

After briefing the staff on how his ground crew, consisting of Kaidan and Javik, were to clear out the base; due to the strategic advantage the fighter squadron has over the sector, Damien is just about to dismiss the crew when James cuts in. “So, it’s another SNAFU mission, then. Phew, I’m glad I’m not going…just saying.”

“Thanks for your candor, LC,” Damien says rolling his eyes. 

James winks at him. 

Having stayed quiet throughout the entire briefing and standing at the back, leaning against the outer glass wall to observe the crew; Javik looks strangely at Vega, not understanding what he just said. “SNaa-foo? That is not in my vocabulary.”

James huffs back at him, “Not SNaa-foo, Buggy. It’s S.N.A.F.U. or just SNAFU.” Just to be cheeky, he adds with a gleam in his eyes, “Gotta learn the acronyms to fit in…in this cycle.”

Javik glares at him, waiting for him to elaborate some more. 

Grinning at the alien innocently, James adds, “At least the mission isn’t FUBAR.”

Growling, Javik suddenly alights with his green biotic power and looks at his Captain, who is trying to keep a straight face. “Do I have your permission to throw him out the airlock?”

Attempting to school his face into one of thoughtful reflection until James huffs at him, he shakes his head at Javik and says, “Nope. The new LC may have a death wish for teasing you,” and Damien pauses to glare at the man in question, who just grins at him, not bothered in the slightest for causing a scene. Shaking his head, he adds, “Just ignore him, Javik. Liara will explain the acronyms James is referring to.” It's Damien's turn to grin at Liara, when she huffs in annoyance at him for delegating the task to her. 

After looking around at the assembled crew trying without much success from laughing out loud at the scene, he adds, “We have a mission to prep for. Crew dismissed.” 

{{{}}} 

Overall, the fighter base had been pretty easy to clear out, in retrospect. Being back on Noveria after all this time wasn’t a picnic. It was as cold as ever and just because they were just that lucky…they just happened to land when the wind and blizzard were the worse yet and as miserable as it sounds. Even though their view of their target was obstructed, the noise of the storm helped them in the long run, allowing them to land in relative silence. This resulted in them having the least amount of resistance, or at least until they reached the main base. With their eyesight severely hampered, having to use their helmets, haptic displays, and infrared detectors, was not the best course of action once word got out of their attack and they had enemies coming at them in all directions. Once they worked out their battle plan, they cleared out the base pretty quickly. 

Surprisingly, Javik’s fighting style highly complemented his and Shepard’s already honed combat styles, once they worked out the kinks. There were a few tense moments when Javik got frustrated at them and decided to go off on his own. After being subjected to Shepard’s command voice to follow orders, since technically both of them outranked the guy, Javik eventually acquiesced and followed suit, but not before mumbling enough curse words to make Damien clench his jaw and wince upon hearing them. As far as the words Kaidan could understand, there were a lot of primitive this or primitive that, but overall Javik finally conceded to follow both of their directions. 

The differences between their combat techniques and Javik’s own were great. Shepard and Kaidan took care of their targets efficiently and effectively. Forever mindful to try to minimize the pain and suffering of their lethal attacks to a couple well placed shots or biotic attacks that would end the life of their opponent, as quick as possible. Javik, on the other hand was just brutal. His biotics did as much damage as possible and he tended to overkill his opponents. Instead of using a couple well placed shots, he would use as many as he could get into them.

If their intent was to unleash hell on their enemies than Javik was surely that…he was a menace. Basically, he was a weapon in Shepard’s arsenal and all you had to do was point him at an enemy, or in this case a Cerberus trooper, and Javik would unleash all his aggression and anger upon them. Kaidan had thought several times during their attack on the base, Javik could be likened to an Earth mammal called the Tasmanian Devil. He would attack with one intent and purpose, to inflict as much damage and pain on his opponent, as possible. Let’s just say, what was left was a bloody mess. Deciding not to say anything out loud, Kaidan decided to leave that conversation for another snowy day and back him up should he need it and continue to watch Shepard’s six as he flitted across their battlefield charging into their enemies at close range; his Vanguard abilities on full display. 

Things were just wrapping up when over the static of the radio, due to the storm; Steve informed them that they had company in the form of an Atlas. Remembering how Shepard had reacted to him getting cornered by an Atlas mech the last time they dealt with one, Kaidan keeps his distance and attacks from afar. There is no reason to add stress, when he can very easily help take the thing down without making Damien worry about his safety and possibly risk his own life to save his, once again. Or, at least that was the plan, anyway. 

It was working too, the three of them acting in tandem trying to confuse the operator enough to follow them to the higher ground behind the fighter wreckage, its smoke further obscuring the view of the operator within. Shepard had relayed his idea to catch it off balance enough to topple the mech off the railing that overlooked the icy gorge, far below them. Just as the Atlas was backed up against the outer railing, Shepard made his move and had charged at the hatch of the mech to try to crack it open. Balanced against the edge of the opening to do so, he succeeded in opening the hatch and was preparing to launch back onto the deck plating with the startled operator in hand, using his momentum off the mech to tip it over the edge, when the unthinkable happened. Javik intervened growling in impatience and used his slam technique to wrench the operator from Shepard’s grasp making him stumble and pitch forward instead, right into the recently vacated operator’s seat, the hatch reclosing. Then, as if in slow motion, the Atlas spun around and teetered on its feet, its shields gone, making it lurch and tip over the edge…falling into the abyss, taking a startled Shepard with it.

{{{}}}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1: Regarding the promotions - There is still confusion in when James Vega's promotion to Lt. C went into effect from the animated movie that starts his journey from Shepard fan to Normandy crewmate in ME3. I figured, what the hell...now is as good a time as any. Hey, let's lump Joker's in there, as well. They are both well deserved. Hope you agree. Keeping it, either way...
> 
> A/N 2: LZ - means Landing Zone  
> AO - means Area of Operation
> 
> A/N 3: Regarding SNAFU/FUBAR. You should know these acronyms by now, since there are very notable movies that have included them. Or, you could just google them, I suppose. Good old Google. Either way, here's the meanings:  
> \- SNAFU: Situation Normal All Fucked Up, &  
> My personal favorite:  
> \- FUBAR: Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition (this one is used in both Tango & Cash and Saving Private Ryan, and many more I expect)  
> ;)


	15. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter is rated 'M' for language. Thanks for your kudos and comments. 
> 
> This Chapter has been weighing heavily upon me for awhile now. I wanted to get it just right...and now I can breathe easier now that it's posted. Phew! Hope you enjoy my interpretation of how their sojourn to Noveria concludes. :)

{{{}}}

“SHEPARD!!!” Kaidan yells into the blizzard and races over to the edge of the railing to see if there is anything he can do to save the love of his life. If the Atlas mech had its full shields and hadn’t been shot to shit, but still in working order, then it might have held up enough to make the several thousand feet drop. It’s just…that wasn’t possible after their coordinated attack on it, before it plummeted to its death. Not being able to see anything due to the haze of the blizzard whipping up from below, Kaidan tries desperately to get Shepard over the squad channel, his voice breaking, “Shepard! Do you read me? Damien? Please come in…are you there? Please don’t be dead…oh gods…Shepard!”

No response. No static, nothing. Just a dead comm line…ominous in its silence. 

With a sense of foreboding and great loss, Kaidan forgets for a second who he is and turns around to find the cause of his misery looking shocked at what just happened, standing behind him with a dead Cerberus trooper at his side. Insurmountable fury settles over him and he lights up with all of his biotic energy, blue flame rippling over his body. Without a thought on whether his action would kill Javik or not, Kaidan makes the throw mnemonic and sends him reeling backward with enough force to dent the back wall of the facility they just cleared. Stalking forward to follow the Prothean’s flight path, who has barely had enough time to catch his breath after sliding off the wall, Kaidan grabs him around the neck and slams the back of his helmet against the wall once again, rattling him further. With barely suppressed rage and despair, his energy sparking around his fists, Kaidan sneers into Javik’s face, “I don’t care who you are or how important you may be to this war…if Shepard is dead, so are you.”

Javik raises his hands in supplication and nods at him, whether he agrees with him that he will be dead or just because he can’t speak due to the fact that Kaidan’s fist is still wrapped around his windpipe.

Able to calm enough to remember who he is and where, Kaidan narrows his eyes at him through his visor and lets him go, turning away as Javik heaves in much needed air. Suddenly, the enormity of the situation drops on him and he gasps for breath, doubling over, grabbing his chest. Before losing it further, Kaidan contacts the Normandy. They need to be aware of what has happened. 

{{{}}}

After losing the feed a few minutes ago from Shepard’s suit-cam, seeing only static from Javik’s, and blurry images from Kaidan’s, the Normandy’s chief pilot cycles through the communication system to the ship to shore channel and is about to request a SITREP, when a panicked sounding voice and a bunch of static comes over the comm link. “Shhhhh…groushhh team to the Normanshhhhhhhh…come in. Pleashhhhhhh come in.” The connection is interrupted with a garbled sob, and then, “Shhhhepard…shhhhhhh dead.”

Hearing his friend sounding desperate over the static of the comm link and really only hearing the last few words, Joker sputters in shock. “What? Come again, ground team? Did you just say that Shepard is dead?” Turning towards EDI who is sitting in the copilot’s chair next to him, he gapes at her. Knowing that time is of the essence in this situation, Joker sidelines his shock and the pain of losing another friend (maybe) and urgently requests, “Inform Garrus to come up here ASAP and inform Doctor Chakwas to listen in on our comms.” Trying to adjust their reception with the ground team on the planet below, Joker lets out a frustrated sound when more static comes over the comm link. “EDI, can you clean this up?”

“I will try,” EDI responds and immediately informs not only Garrus but others who may want to know what has happened regarding their transmission with Major Alenko on the planet below.

A couple of minutes later, harried large footsteps come running up to the bridge along with a smaller stride as both Garrus and Liara join Joker on the bridge. James, Samantha, and Doctor Chakwas soon follow and a few others who were drawn in by the urgent summons from the cockpit. The small space is soon crowded with concerned crew members for their beloved CO and friend. 

“Linking in the shuttle to help boost the signal,” EDI says to Joker when he asks again if the comms have been fixed. 

Lieutenant Cortez chimes in to respond to his query and to let the ground team know that they are transmitting. “Cortez here, the ground team is connected.” 

A choking sound of someone crying comes over the comm channel, making it obvious that someone is upset and is grieving. With slightly slurred speech, Kaidan repeats his earlier transmission. “It’s Shepard…it’s possible he’s dead.”

Liara gasps in pain and swoons against Garrus’ armored torso, making him steady her as they gape at each other and look at Joker in stunned silence. Sobering quickly, Garrus asks, “What? How could that be? It was a simple Cerberus mission…” 

Doctor Chakwas, ever the professional, gently yet firmly asks over the comm channel, “Major Alenko, please explain the situation. I need you to focus soldier. Is there any chance that Shepard could be alive?”

Recognizing the command in the doctor’s voice, Kaidan straightens and walks further into the facility to a more sheltered location, so his transmitter isn’t affected by the blizzard. Taking a shaky breath, he tries to explain the situation. “We were fighting the Atlas and Shepard had the idea to use its momentum against it to topple it over the railing into the ravine below.” Taking another ragged breath, he adds, “When…” pausing to look pointedly at Javik who has followed him into the facility but keeping his distance, “Unfortunately, something happened and Shepard was caught inside it instead, and…it toppled over the side. The Atlas was damaged and its shields were depleted. There isn’t much chance that it could have survived such a fall…” and he clenches his eyes shut when another bout of soul-wrenching pain hits him, making him gasp and lean against the wall, tears streaming down his face. 

“Understood…hold on ground team. Cortez is on his way back down to you and we’ll discuss this further when you are out of harm’s way of the storm. We just got confirmation that the storm is getting worse in your AO.” Garrus acknowledges over the comm line now that he has his shock under control after hearing what the situation was. Fucking Noveria…he just knew that something was going to happen on their old stomping ground. 

“Copy that, Normandy. We’ll be waiting,” Kaidan says thickly trying desperately to hold onto the only thing he can think of right now that will get him through the next few minutes; his years of training as an experienced Alliance officer. Training that will help him figure out how to resolve this C.F. of a situation and if possible rescue his heart from shattering into a million pieces…once again. 

{{{}}}

After Cortez picks them up on the landing pad next to the wrecked fighter, they fly above the storm to see if the shuttle’s systems can help get a better picture of what the situation was looking like with the storm system currently sweeping over the area the Atlas fell into. Another reason they decided not to return to the Normandy in orbit was to be accessible to Shepard if he were to contact them and they could easily launch a rescue mission before the storm finally blew itself out. 

Rising above the clouds, they open a direct link with the Normandy and start pouring over the data they are able to extract over their haptic displays; radar for the weather, infrared readouts of the valley below, geospatial data of the area, etc. Anything that may help plan their rescue and where to start their search. 

The radar readouts weren’t very encouraging; apparently it was that time of year where snow drifts piled high and the roving winds of the storm were making it almost impossible to map the ravine’s floor for any LZ big enough for the shuttle to land safely. Plus, the storm that had passed by them earlier had collided with another storm moving south and had doubled back harder than ever. What was so discouraging was that these storms tended to rage for days and was just getting worse each minute as they discussed their options. 

If that wasn’t disappointing, the infrared readouts weren’t much better…no life-signs detected at all. It could be the storm and the cold; obstructing everything and anything that would usually show up and confusing the readouts, but still not good news. 

After using a brilliant idea of Traynor’s, to use echo-location to bounce sound off the ravine bottom, they were able to locate the wreckage of the Atlas. However, that was where the good news ended. Apparently, it was lodged into a crevasse at the bottom, completely cut off due to an avalanche that was caused by the impact. Plus, there were no flat surfaces to land the shuttle at the bottom of the ravine, especially with the treacherous and volatile landscape that the Atlas had fallen into. There were only steep inclines and narrow passageways and the wreckage was too damaged by the looks of the LIDAR imagery they used to see if the cockpit had even stayed intact. 

The news they were able to collect wasn’t very promising, and as the storm continued to rage below them, their spirits started to wilt as each piece of discouraging data was received and discarded. It was looking more and more like it would be almost impossible for Shepard to have survived the fall. 

The only thing keeping them from not giving up on their search, was for the fact that Shepard would never give up on them and until they had a body, there was still hope that their Captain and friend was still alive. 

{{{}}}

Still new to this cycle of primitives, now running the galaxy, Javik feels as though he’s out of place and time with this jumbled crew. Sure, he’s happy to be alive and out of the pod that preserved him for so long, but it’s been only a few days since waking up to find that everything he knew and loved was gone…hell, worse than gone…extinct…and had been for over 50,000 years. There was that number again. How does one adjust to the knowledge that their life that centered on an advanced civilization that ruled the galaxy has crumbled into ash. Other than decrepit stone and rock ruins, there’s nothing left of the once great Prothean empire, other than rumors and legends. What does that make him, once a Prothean warrior and the avatar of vengeance? A warrior of nothing? Grimacing at the thought, Javik closes his eyes…how has he come to this? He was once the apex elite of his race, sometimes likened to a God. And now, in this cycle…he’s not only a warrior of nothing but he’s now taking orders from a human…scratch that humans, plural. The word ‘human’ was insulting to him, especially knowing that they were now the apex race in the galaxy and apparently shared power with other races. Shared. Power. Javik shakes his head in frustration. Stupid humans, sharing power. In his cycle, humans were lowly creatures that lived in caves. 

Shaking these thoughts from his head, all except one is sidelined away for another day. There is one human he can tolerate and if given a chance, maybe eventually respect and call friend. The others he met so far, to include the non-human races on the ship, he’s already deemed unworthy of his attention. Well…to be honest, there was one other…a blue-skinned Asari. There was just something about her…Liara. Shaking the thought of soft blue scales that make his fingers itch to touch them, Javik focuses his thoughts on the human called Shepard. 

Shepard confused him. Not liking to admit that, it was obvious that Captain Shepard is different. Yes, he outranks Javik, which bothers him to no end, but based on the research he’s done on the human, he’s earned his distinction as the avatar of victory, in this cycle. He’s already saved the galaxy twice before and is doing everything in his power to do so again. Also, it doesn’t hurt that Shepard can understand and speak his own language. It is pleasurable to be able to have one aspect of his cycle available to him…even with a lowly human. 

Sighing, there was another aspect of Shepard that was frustratingly confusing. The relationship he had with the human male biotic was bizarre. Clearly, they weren’t together to procreate, impossible it seems for male humans to do so, but they claimed to care for each other. Love each other. Javik had relations in his past, but nothing compared to the emotions he’s observed between these two humans or the connection Shepard had with his crew. His sensory ability was on overload with all the emotions running rampant around the ship, but the feelings of loyalty was beyond the biggest emotion he’s been able to pick up from everyone he’s met or observed when it comes to the Captain. 

Wincing, Javik knows he’s to blame for their current situation. If he had just had better control over his patience…damn it…why couldn’t he have listened to his instincts and followed Shepard’s orders. Looking up when the human called Cortez and the Major start to pace once again in agitation, after hearing about the disappointing conditions of their situation, Javik once again reflects back to when the human biotic reacted to his error in judgement. The fact that the Major didn’t kill him when he threw him against the wall still confused him. Stretching a kink out of his back, Javik has to admit, that ‘Throw’ hurt. He’d barely had enough time to put up a barrier to prevent further injury other than a few bruises, it was so sudden. He was sure that afterward when the human had grabbed him about the neck and squeezed, that he was looking death in the eye…the human was that angry with him. But, then he was further confused when the Major let him go and walked away. Surely had their positions been reversed, Javik would have killed him instantly, without a second thought. 

Suddenly Javik straightens up from his perch on the seat in the cabin of the shuttle and tilts his head to the side as if he’s trying to listen to something. There’s something odd about the comm channel. Knowing his interference wouldn’t be well received from either of the two humans talking in low tones, Javik stands and tries to get their attention anyway. “Major? I…” 

“I think you’ve done enough, Javik. I don’t want to hear from you again.” Kaidan says angrily as he turns away and continues to make another circuit around the shuttle, unable to stay idle long, his thoughts erratic as he tries to think of another way to find out if Shepard is still alive. There must be something…anything. He’s never going to give up until he has Damien back in his arms or at the very least, his body...wincing at the thought. 

Upon hearing another whisper of something through his comm unit and knowing somehow that it’s an unnatural sound repeating in a pattern, Javik growls out a Prothean expletive at the aggravation of the humans not letting him speak. Knowing he may not survive the encounter with the angry biotic, Javik grabs his armored arm anyway, stopping him from making another circuit around the shuttle. 

Instantly, Kaidan lights up in a biotic fervor for the rude interruption. 

“Human!” Javik growls irritatingly and pauses again when the shuttle pilot automatically grabs his weapon stashed in the armor locker in the cockpit, and points it at him. Releasing the Major, Javik puts his hands up slowly and points at the comm link, “Listen!”

Turning towards the open comm blinking on the dash, Kaidan and Steve notice a steady pulse of static that comes out in a particular pattern of ‘…_ _ _ …’ and then pauses. After several seconds, another volley of pulses, ‘… _ _ _ …’ comes over the comm line, which again repeats. Kaidan and Steve look at each other agape, realizing what they are listening to. 

“Holy Shit!” Kaidan exclaims and opens another link to the Normandy. “EDI, do you hear the pulses coming over the comm unit?”

“Yes, Major. I believe it’s called Morse code. The pulses of three dots, three dashes, and then three dots again with no breaks, are S.O.S. And if my data is correct, S.O.S. was used as an international distress code from Earth, a couple centuries ago.” 

“Geez, EDI, you could have just said yes or no. We don’t need a history lesson.” Joker says irritably. “Do you think it’s Shepard?” he asks the general audience still assembled in the cockpit. 

“It’s possible. We were taught all sorts of ways to communicate if something happens to your comm device, in the academy. Morse code was a part of the curriculum.” Even with a sense of renewed hope, Kaidan does have to point out that Morse code is used by all sorts of people, not just Alliance officers. “It’s possible that we are getting a transmission from elsewhere on Noveria, though. EDI, can you translate, ‘Identify yourself’ into code, so maybe we can find out who’s in distress?” he adds, silently keeping his fingers-crossed that its Shepard. 

“Yes, Major Alenko, doing so now.” A series of pulses goes over their link to the transmission they received. They all wait with bated breath as they try desperately to hear if a response is given. 

They all perk up when they hear:  
‘…’ (S) and then a pause  
‘….’ (H) pause  
‘.’ (E) pause  
‘._ _.’ (P) pause  
‘._’ (A) pause  
‘._.’ (R) pause  
‘_..’ (D).

As soon as EDI translates the response they all cheer, renewed hope blossoming within their hearts at hearing that their friend is alive. 

More pulses come over the comm and they all go quiet. EDI translates;  
‘ESCAPED MECH, TOO DAMAGED,’ ‘FOUND CAVE,’ ‘COLD,’ ‘HURT,’ ‘3 HRS OF HEAT LEFT IN SUIT,’ and then a pause, ‘HELP.’

As the crew exclaims in excitement around knowing at least that Shepard is alive and safe for the moment, Javik makes a decision about his role in this situation. He will do whatever it takes to bring Shepard back to his family, no matter if it takes his own life. He owes this human a huge debt. Until he is out of danger, then and only then will he ask him for forgiveness…something he never would’ve considered doing even in his own cycle. With that thought, Javik sits back on his bench and waits for his chance to redeem himself. 

{{{}}}

As Doctor Chakwas converses in pulses through EDI with Shepard about his condition based on his SITREP of being cold and hurt in the CIC, the rest of them start going back over the data with a fine-toothed comb to see if there is anything they had missed the first time; regarding ways to rescue their CO. 

Although appreciated, plans to land the shuttle and rappel down into the ravine from the fighter base to follow the same path taken by the Atlas, was immediately dismissed. It was not only dangerous due to the weather raging below, but whoever attempted to do so would most likely end up in similar circumstances. It would be a wasted effort on the already overtaxed crew and would put Shepard in jeopardy by wasting what precious time they already had to mount a rescue mission. 

Their only option was to fly the shuttle into the ravine and with controlled precision navigate through the landscape cautiously, dealing with any dangers that may present themselves within. With that decision made, the next dilemma asserted itself. Who would pilot the shuttle? With EDI available to fly the Normandy, Joker and Cortez were the best options. That’s when things started to fall apart. Everyone had different opinions about; who was more experienced, better friends with Shepard, known him longer, more medals flying different vessels, which pilot had already saved the galaxy twice, etc. What was so frustrating was the arguing didn’t come from either Joker or Cortez; it was from the peanut gallery crowded around the bridge, not the pilots themselves. Even with Garrus and Liara in attendance, the designated OICs if Shepard was unavailable, the usual calm and professionalism of the crew went out the airlock as soon as the enormity of Shepard’s predicament and safety was in question. So, with no one controlling the situation outright, the already frayed nerves of the crew started to unravel into chaos. 

As the shuttle hovered in a holding pattern over the storm raging below, Kaidan growls in frustration as he listens to the noise the Normandy crew is making over the comms. Finally able to push his grief aside to attack their current predicament head on, this squabbling wasn’t accomplishing anything. In fact, it was wasting precious time. Damien’s precious time. Nothing was more important than saving Damien. Agitated as all hell over the fact that Garrus and Liara were allowing the crew to continue their incessant chatter, over the open comm link, Kaidan starts to get angry. This conduct was inexcusable. Seeing that Cortez is also looking disgusted at the unprofessionalism of the Normandy crew, Kaidan interrupts loudly, using his command voice, “SILENCE!” In shocked gasps, the crew on the Normandy shuts up. “All this squabbling is doing nothing to solve our problem. Get it together, people! We are professionals. We are the crew of the Normandy! Shepard would be ashamed of all of you, if he was listening.” Pausing to give his last statement time to process, he continues, “Shepard is alive, folks. Let’s keep him alive. We have decided that the best course of action is to follow Shepard’s path in the shuttle. Even though Joker is one of the best pilots, so is Cortez. I trust him with my life. Cortez will pilot the shuttle. In the meantime, since we are here in the shuttle and it would take too much time to return to the Normandy, Javik and I will be the ones to rescue Shepard, once we figure out what we’re doing. No more arguing. Understood?”

Automatic ‘yes, sir,’ responses comes over the comms.

Nodding at Cortez who is grinning at him, Kaidan adds, “Let’s make Shepard proud of us.”

{{{}}}

Before they have a chance to make additional plans on how they will find Shepard once they traverse into the ravine, EDI interrupts them and translates the latest message received. 

Translation:  
‘SUIT ERROR,’ ‘1/2 HOUR TOPS,’ ‘GTING TOO COLD, CN’T MOVE,’ ‘CHEST HURTS.’ Then after a small pause, ‘HONOR SERVING WITH EACH OF YOU,’ and ‘MY FAMILY.’ A larger pause follows, allowing all of them to look at each other in horror. Apparently their time has run out. More pulses come through the link, EDI translates, her voice going soft as the message turns personal. ‘TELL KAIDAN, I LOVE HIM,’ ‘BEST TIMES OF MY LIFE WERE WITH U,’ ‘FIGHTING LIKE HELL TO HOLD YOU AGAIN.’ 

“Oh, Gods! We’re losing him. We need to hurry!” Kaidan exclaims as tears stream down his face, the sidelining of his emotions from earlier cracking under the onslaught of fear at hearing his fiancé’s message. 

Doctor Chakwas chimes in over the comm link, “It may be that his cybernetics are shutting down. They were never tested in cold environments like he’s in now, at least not for extended periods of time. The fact that Shepard is telling us that his chest hurts is a sign that they might be short circuiting.”

Garrus looks pointedly at her, “What does that mean?”

“It means that if we don’t get him out of there and soon, we’re going to lose him. If his implants stop functioning, he’ll die. That’s what that means.”

Garrus and Joker look at each other in shock. Thinking about contingencies, Garrus asks, “When we get him on board, can you fix him on your own?”

Looking worried Doctor Chakwas shakes her head, “It depends on the extent of the shutdown. I have machines that can be used to keep him alive for a short period of time until we get him to a hospital. But, if the damage is too severe, I can only make him comfortable until his body completely shuts down and we lose him.”

“We can’t lose Shepard! We won’t!” Kaidan hastens to add over the comm. 

“We will if he is too far gone, Kaidan. I can only do so much. The procedure that brought him back to us is still science fiction. There is only one person who could help us.”

Garrus turns his omni-tool on and scrolls through his contacts, types a quick message and sends it. “Then that’s what we do. I’ve sent her an S.O.S. message just now to contact me ASAP.”

Looking at everyone in the bridge, Joker knowingly nods and asks, “Do you really think Miranda will help us?”

“She owes Shepard her life many times over including the life of her sister. She’ll help. And, if she doesn’t…then, I can add one more ex-Cerberus operative to my long list of enemies and I will hunt her down and make her regret her decision.”

“I’ll help.”

“So will I.”

“Count me in.”

“Me too.”

“And, I’ll fly you all there in style.” Joker says as he looks around him at his friends, all willing to fight for Shepard. Then as an aside to Garrus, Joker adds, “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

Garrus gently squeezes his friend’s shoulder and turns away when he gets a ping on his omni-tool. Checking the message, he smiles and says to the group of people gathered in the bridge, “It seems as though we don’t need to all become bounty hunters. Miranda is willing to help. She’ll rendezvous with us on our way to the closest hospital…which is where exactly? How far out are we from the Citadel.”

Joker was looking over his navigational panel, “Yeah, I was looking that over just now. With the amount of use the relay in this system is taking and the delay in the Widow Nebula with the amount of refugees arriving daily at the Citadel, it could be upwards of…four days…” he calculates as the data pours in. 

“Try using Shepard’s Spectre status, or mine,” Kaidan points out through the comms.

“Yeah, I tried that and even with two Spectres onboard, I was able to get us moved up the line from 8 days to 4. 

Several expletives are expressed throughout the bridge and shuttle listening in. 

Shaking her head, Doctor Chakwas adds more fuel to the fire of doom they are starting to feel once again. “Four days is too long, even with help from Miranda.” 

“Then our options are limited. There is only one place that I can recommend, but…” Joker looks directly at Garrus and motions a cut across his neck and then looks at the other people in the bridge.

Catching the hint that what Joker wants to talk about is classified at the highest level, Garrus says to the rest of the occupants in the room, “Alright folks, we have a rescue to finish, get back to work. Liara, Doctor Chakwas, stay. Kaidan, switch to your private channel.”

Waiting for the rest of the gaggle of people to leave the bridge, until only those that were asked to stay along with EDI, are left, Garrus shuts the bulkhead door to the rest of the gangway leading to the CIC. “What would you recommend, Joker?” Already thinking he knows what Joker is going to say. 

“The closest facility is, ‘The Crucible,’ actually. They have the personnel, the facility, and equipment needed, to save Shepard’s life. Miranda is already aware of the location, according to Shepard. She can rendezvous with us along the way and work her miracles again once we arrive.” At Garrus’ surprised exclamation that Miranda was aware of the top-secret weapon they were building, especially since she was a senior ex-operative with the terrorist organization out to get them all, not long ago, this news was a little disturbing…but helpful, now. “She was read in when Shepard met with her on the Citadel after Menae and has helped with the ex-Cerberus scientists who are now working on the project.” 

Willing to think about the risk in Miranda’s involvement later, Garrus narrows his eyes on his friend, “You wouldn’t be recommending this location just to see Kasumi, are you?”

Hurt that his friend would think he would recommend this only for his own selfish desires, Joker splutters in anguish. “Absolutely not, Garrus! I would never gamble with Shepard’s life like this. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to see Kasumi again, but Shepard takes precedence. We need him in all this. Without Shepard, I’m afraid that we will lose this war and I will never get to have my happy ending along with everyone else. Besides, he’s one of my best friends…I’ve followed him to hell and back, several times, and he’s saved our lives many times over. I just want to save him for once.” Joker pauses as tears run down his cheeks at the emotion he feels over possibly losing his friend.

“I’m sorry, my friend. I didn’t mean to doubt your intentions…truly, I’m sorry I hurt you,” Garrus winces as he pats Joker’s shoulder awkwardly, looking contrite. 

Unable to talk due to the emotional strain of the situation, Joker nods at his friend, forgiving him.

Now that they have a plan for once they save Shepard, they now have to get to the saving part. Knowing they are running out of time, Garrus orders Cortez to start the descent. Looking around at his fellow crewmates’ expectant faces, he declares, “Alright folks, let’s make Shepard proud of us. It’s time to save our friend and Captain. EDI, let Shepard know that we’re coming for him. We can’t let him give up hope.” As EDI transmits his message, Garrus takes charge. “Kaidan, we don’t have time to come up with a plan, just get ready to do whatever it takes to save Shepard. Just please keep us informed, we will do whatever we can to support you.”

“Will do, Garrus,” Kaidan responds. 

{{{}}}

As they descend into the raging storm below, Kaidan rummages around in the shuttle’s emergency supplies to gather whatever equipment they might need that will help Shepard thaw out from the cold. He gathers the thermal blankets, extra heaters, and sets up a cot that they will use to get Shepard off the cold deck plating of the shuttle’s hull. Handing the packaged thermal blankets to Javik, anticipating that he will need the Prothean’s help, he plugs the space heaters into the shuttle’s power supply, one on each side of the cot. Ignoring his animosity towards Javik for the time being, he informs him of what he’s trying to do when he notices that he seems to be confused. “Once we have Shepard onboard, he will need to be warmed up. It’s the cold that is apparently aggravating his implants. As such, the best course of action is to get him out of his armor as soon as possible. I’ll take mine off too, so I may use my body heat to warm him. I haven’t forgiven you for your part in this, Javik, but I’m going to need your help regardless.”

“Understood, Major.”

Nodding at him, Kaidan unclips his helmet making it ready to put on and strides into the cockpit to check on their progress as they descend into the abyss. Blinking in surprise, he looks out at the snow flurrying around them as Cortez cautiously monitors their descent. It seems that Cortez has activated the external cameras so they can use the virtual windows to help navigate their way, since the storm was playing such havoc with their instruments. 

Pinpointing where the wreckage of the Atlas is located, Cortez pilots the shuttle with great precision, as it continuously gets bombarded with strong gusts of wind and snow as it barrels through the ravine from every direction. Sighting in on the crevasse where the remnants of the mech remain, only partially visible, they make a 360 degree rotation with the shuttle to check out the surrounding rock formations, looking for a clue as to where their beloved Captain may have found refuge from the storm. 

Cortez looks at Kaidan worriedly, “Shepard’s message said he found a cave, right? Do you see one?”

Looking around at their surroundings, Kaidan shakes his head, despair in his voice, “No. I don’t…”

He’s interrupted by a static-y EDI coming through their open comm channel. “New message from Shepard.” She translates; ‘NO HEAT.’ ‘SO COLD,’ a pause, then ‘THIS IS SHEPARD, SIGNING OFF.’ 

Shit! Cortez looks at Kaidan, watching pain and anguish flash across his handsome face as he again frantically looks around at the harsh landscape, not willing to give up on his fiancé. Knowing what it feels like to lose the other half of his soul, Steve never had a chance to rescue his husband when the Collector’s hit their colony the previous year. He wouldn’t wish the pain and loss of that day and everyday since on anyone, especially this man who would give his life to save his beloved if necessary. Kaidan and Shepard just got together and have a lifetime to look forward to. It was unfair. Suddenly an idea comes to him, “EDI! Ask Shepard if he can send out a visual signal of where his location may be. We could pinpoint the trajectory of it and follow it to his location.”

“I will try.”

Kaidan grips his shoulder, “Good idea. Let’s hope that Shepard has enough energy left to try it. Otherwise…” he pauses and shakes his head, not willing to say out loud what they are both thinking. If Shepard can’t signal them, there’s no way with all the interference they are having from the storm that they would get to him in time, to save him. They would have to wait for the storm to die down so they could retrieve Shepard’s body. Kaidan stops himself from continuing that line of thinking. Shepard won’t give up. He can’t. 

Waiting several minutes with bated breaths, all three of the shuttle’s occupants continuing to use the virtual windows to help them see whatever Shepard decides to use for his signal. That is, of course, if he isn’t too far gone. 

With tears streaming down his face and his heart aching, Kaidan tries desperately to keep from falling apart as they wait. 

“There!” Javik yells, pointing above them as a flare rockets out of the cliff wall further down the ravine and catches afire just as a biotic detonation makes it explode spectacularly.

Never one to be dramatic, it seemed that Shepard had just enough biotic power left to signal them, knowing that Kaidan would recognize his signature biotic detonation. It seems that the explosion was hot enough to show up on their infra-red indicator and they were soon underway, following the path of the flare. 

They were soon met with a welcome sight; their Captain was clearly visible in his yellow and black striped armor, leaning against the entrance of the cave he had sheltered in after surviving the Atlas’ fall. Will miracles never cease? 

Thank the Gods that Shepard had just repainted his armor that morning before the mission. He was easy to make out amidst the snow covered cliff. Kaidan remembers teasing him when his chest piece came out of the armor locker freshly painted. He had laughed at his fiancé and exclaimed, “Nice bumblebee color.” Shepard had glowered at him and scoffed, “What? Better to see me in the blizzard below. Not everyone can look like a smurf.” Kaidan had laughed, looking down at his Spectre logoed bright blue armor, “Touché.” Apparently not liking to be teased for his color choice, Damien had grabbed the front of his chest piece and slammed him up against the lockers, covering his body with his as he kissed the daylights out of him. Just as Kaidan was starting to give into Damien’s onslaught, forgetting for a moment that they weren’t in their private quarters, but the cargo bay, they were rudely interrupted. James had arrived via elevator and woot-wooted at them as he walked past on his way to the weapon’s locker to help get them ready for their mission. They had separated quickly and both blushed as they finished getting their armor on. 

Cortez pipes up after checking over his instruments, shattering Kaidan’s recollection of their teasing. “With this wind and the angle of the cave’s entrance, there’s no way we can get close enough to get Shepard onboard. It will take everything I got just to keep the shuttle stable enough to stay in one place. Whatever you are going to do, you will have to do it without me, Major.”

Pushing his emotions to the side, Kaidan squeezes the pilot’s shoulder and says, “Understood, Lt. Just keep the shuttle as still as possible.” With Cortez’s automatic ‘aye-aye, sir,’ Kaidan walks over to the shuttle’s starboard side hatch and puts on his helmet. As he waits for Javik to put his helmet on as well, Kaidan attaches a safety harness to both his and Javik’s armor, anchoring them to the shuttle. There was no point in them toppling off into oblivion once they open the hatch. Looking at his squad mate, Kaidan is for once glad that Javik is the one to help him rescue Shepard. It’s looking as if the only way to successfully do so is to combine their biotic power, to get it done. Thank the Gods, Javik is as powerful as he is, if not more so. “We are going to have to combine our powers, Javik. I’m not strong enough to biotically lift Shepard in this weather. I’m thinking of putting him in a stasis field, so he is easier to maneuver. Then maybe…hmm,” he pauses frowning as he thinks through their options.

Catching onto his thought process, Javik adds, “After you use your ‘Stasis,’ I’ll use my ‘Slam’ technique to wrench him out of the cave entrance.” When Kaidan starts to shake his head, remembering that the ‘Slam’ technique is what got them in this situation in the first place, Javik motions him to wait. “On the downward angle, use a ‘Pull’ mnemonic to control his descent and catch him. He will come fast, human. Together, we can save him.”

Satisfied that Javik seems to comprehend that not only will they be expending a great deal of energy on what they quickly hashed out, but they only have the one chance to do so. Nodding, Kaidan says, “Ready?” At Javik’s nod, Kaidan grips onto the shuttle’s handles, “Let’s do this. Open the hatch, Cortez.”

{{{}}}

That’s exactly what they do, too. 

As soon as the hatch opens, they are bombarded with gusts of wind and snow. As Cortez lines up the shuttle with the cave entrance, they see that Shepard hasn’t moved from his position. Firming his resolve, Kaidan doesn’t let the image of his lover reaching out to him deter him from doing what he needs to do, even with his heart galloping in his chest at seeing his fiancé so close yet so far away. Asking Cortez to tilt the shuttle at an angle ripe for the catch, he motions to Javik that at the count of three, he will release his stasis bubble to capture Shepard. 

3…2…1

Kaidan releases a stasis field, capturing Shepard within, encompassing him within a white bubble. Tensing for the next part, Javik releases a controlled slam, engulfing the white bubble in green biotic energy. With a flick of his wrist, Shepard is pulled out of the entrance at an upward angle and just as he’s about to slam to the ground several hundred feet below, Kaidan releases his ‘Pull’ technique, something he’s been practicing but not quite proficient enough to use in combat. He’s not as good as Damien, but when he taught himself ‘Reave,’ he figured he could add ‘Pull,’ too. This was hardly the time to test his new skillset…not that he had a choice. At least in this circumstance, saving Shepard was enough incentive to get it right the first time. 

It seems that luck was on their side. His ‘Pull’ was successful as it grabbed onto Shepard; however, he was coming towards them fast, just as Javik had said he would. Even though his ‘Pull’ slowed down Shepard’s descent, he was still plummeting toward them with great speed. Unhooking his harness, Kaidan releases his ‘Stasis’ field and catches Shepard with a loud ‘Oomph,’ just as he enters the shuttle. Kaidan instantly puts up his barrier to take as much of the impact of the two of them slamming into the other side of the shuttle, as possible. They land with enough momentum that Kaidan’s helmeted head whiplashes against the opposite hatch, making him black out for a second. Thank the Gods he had enough foresight to wear his helmet. 

Coming to as the man in his arms moans in pain, Kaidan orders, “Cortez, get us to the Normandy, ASAP. Let them know we have Shepard and once we land to have Doctor Chakwas meet us in the cargo bay.”

Unwrapping himself from the human popsicle laying within his arms, Kaidan sits up and takes his helmet off. “Javik, help me take off Shepard’s armor.”

Between the two of them, they quickly relieve Shepard of his armor and under-suit. Kaidan also strips and leaving his underwear on, he helps Javik physically lift Shepard onto the waiting cot. Wrapping his arms and legs around his lover, he jerks in reflex at just how cold and clammy Damien’s skin feels against him. After instructing Javik to turn on the space heaters, he wraps the thermal blankets around them and with Javik’s help; they make a cocoon, trying to warm Shepard up as soon as possible. 

After waiting over ten minutes, with the interior of the shuttle getting warmer and warmer, Kaidan starts to worry that Shepard might not wake up, since he hasn’t stirred enough to open his eyes. Not knowing what else to do, since Damien continues to shiver violently, his body jerking within his arms, Kaidan uses the last of his biotic energy to send pulses through Damien’s body, warming him from the inside out. Suddenly feeling odd, Kaidan notices the blue field around them start to glow with a greenish tint. Looking up, he sees that Javik has added his biotic energy to help warm Shepard, as well. Javik’s energy feels different than anything he has ever felt before, but only nods at him when Javik notices.

After what seems like forever, but in reality only another few minutes, Damien opens his glazed eyes and lifts his head enough to look around at his surroundings. Blinking in confusion at the shuttle interior, he gradually becomes aware that he is wrapped around a hot body. Recognizing the face of his beloved, he snuggles further into his arms and raises his hand to cup Kaidan’s cheek, enjoying the roughness of his five o’clock shadow.

Kaidan kisses his forehead and huskily says, “Hi.”

Brushing a tear from his fiancé’s face, Damien is startled when he hears the bench-seat at the back of the shuttle creak as Javik falls exhausted into it. Blinking in confusion as to why the Prothean would be watching them, since clearly they are partially naked, Damien frowns for a second and then whispers into his lover’s ear, “Never thought you would be into this, Kaidan. Kinky…”

Chuckling, his nerves shot, Kaidan shakes his head in disbelief. “I thought I lost you and you’re making jokes?” 

Looking lovingly at his fiancé, Damien asks, “This isn’t heaven?”

Tightening his arms around Damien when he shivers again, Kaidan huskily whispers back, “It’s always heaven within your arms.”

“Damn right it is,” Damien agrees. With his vision blurring, he kisses his lover one last time, relishing the feel of his lips on his. With the last vestiges of coherent thought before giving in to the oblivion of darkness beckoning to him, Damien says haltingly, “Love you…al…ways. Never for…forget that.” Then with another shudder, he convulses and falls unconscious, his breath going still.

“Damien! Come back to me…I love you, too.”

Javik comes forward and lays his hand upon Damien’s forehead. With his sensory ability, he reads him quickly. Assuring the Major, he says gently, “He’s alive, but barely.”

“Cortez, ETA!”

“Two minutes, sir. The Normandy is meeting us half way.”

Not knowing if Damien would make it, those were the longest two minutes of his life. Things happened fast after that. As soon as they docked, the shuttle was overrun with the Doctor and two orderlies who helped transfer Shepard onto the hover sled. Wrapping one of the thermal blankets around his nakedness, Kaidan follows the unconscious Damien to the medical bay. Once there though, he quickly gets out of the way as the Doctor takes charge and starts hooking him up to the machines that would help save his life. 

Relaxing enough to settle upon the bio-bed next to Damien’s, Kaidan lets out his pent up breath, finally able to let go of all of his tension over the past few hours. They have successfully rescued him. For right now, Shepard is alive. As the crew gathers out in the mess hall, looking in as the doctor works her magic, Kaidan reflects back on what they’ve accomplished, together. They had never given up hope and through hard work and dedication; they had pulled their friend and Captain out of death’s grip. Without everyone pulling together as one, Shepard would’ve surely been lost. 

Now to keep him that way, that is the question. It was now up to the powers that be to save him once again from death’s door. The man who has saved the galaxy twice already and will again a third time once the Reapers are defeated; is in need to be saved in return. 

Settling in to wait for whatever is to come next, Kaidan takes Damien’s hand in his. Whatever happens…he’s ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I always wanted to use the sentence, 'This is ____, signing off.' It always reminds me of the last line in Aliens. (Wierd, right?) Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Off to write the next one. It's mostly done. I just have to finish my interpretation of Miranda. As Tali says in ME3, Miranda is such a bitch. The question is, do I make her one, or not. Hmm...
> 
> A/N 2: Just in case you don't know these acronyms:  
> LZ - Landing Zone  
> SITREP - situation report  
> ASAP - as soon as possible  
> CO - Commanding Officer  
> AO - area of operation  
> C.F. - Charlie Foxtrot or Cluster Fuck, take your pick  
> LIDAR - Light Detection and Ranging (Google it)  
> OIC - Officers in charge
> 
> A/N 3: I capitalized & quoted each of the powers used in this chapter when referring to them as an entity (i.e. 'Pull'), since they are the names used within game. I know Kaidan doesn't use 'Pull' however, since he taught himself to use 'Reave' I thought why not add another. He's a smart guy...let's add to his impressive repertoire. Makes him sexier if you ask me. Mmm, yummy... :P


	16. Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the kudos and comments. Your continued support has motivated me to post this chapter far sooner than I had planned. Enjoy!

{{{}}}

A grey haze surrounds him, as he runs through a forest of blackened and scarred trees, their limbs reaching out to him like claws trying to extinguish his life. Whispers from the dead…familiar voices from his friends he couldn’t save, murmur forlornly to him as he stumbles through the darkness towards a bright light in the distance. This beacon, a spotlight of pure white light is twirling out of the dark, beckoning to him. He feels as though he belongs there. He needs to hurry. Running, his chest burning, pain searing in flashes across his body…he gasps in much needed air. The light in the distance flickers…he runs faster, his stomach in knots, his breath coming in harsh gulps as the voices around him whisper louder trying to catch him, to make him fall, to suck him back into their icy grasp once more… 

‘…Shepard…’

‘…Shepard, excellent timing, good to have you here…’

‘…Now go back and get the Lieutenant, and get the hell out of here! You know it’s the right choice…’

‘…Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness…’

‘…Shepard…’

His chest, aching again as his heart flutters within, the voices of his dead friends; Ashley, Mordin, Thane…’I’m sorry!’ he wants to yell, ‘I couldn’t save you!’ The voices start to swirl around him darkening his vision as he nears the clearing where the light swirls around a lone figure looking for him. As he comes upon the clearing he stumbles and falls to his knees to catch his breath at the feet of the figure. 

Looking up, he sees that it’s Kaidan and he’s reaching out to him in the darkness. ‘My love, you came back to me. Without you I am lost,’ Kaidan says smiling. ‘Your place is at my side. Don’t leave me here in the dark without you.’ With longing…his heart in his throat, Damien grasps Kaidan’s hand. Kaidan pulls him into the safety of his arms. The beam of white light gets stronger and engulfs them, holding back the swirling dark, not letting the dead near as they hold on to each other. Pulling back, Kaidan grabs his hand, ‘Come with me…you don’t belong here,’ and pulls him further into the light as it gets stronger and brighter, burning into his retinas. Shielding his eyes, Damien exclaims…>>>  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
“Ow.”

“Wakey, wakey…” a grizzled voice huffs off to the side of him. 

Not recognizing the voice at first, Shepard frowns and tries to open his eyes. Another blinding light sears into him and he turns his head off to the side and lifts his hand to shield his sensitive eyes. Seeing a blurry shape on his right side, he tries to focus. Blinking a few times, he’s finally able to make out a faux hawk and a scarred face. Only one person he knows is brave enough to style his hair that way. Squinting at him, Damien grunts in acknowledgement, “James.” 

“Loco.”

Confused for a moment at the worry he sees in his friend’s eyes, Damien rubs his face, “You’re not the face I thought I would wake up too.”

Chuckling, James puts a hand over his heart, “Ouch…you would me.”

“I doubt that.” Damien grimaces when he tries to shift, exhaling a groan laced with pain.

“Careful. I wouldn’t move if I were you. Actually, you are lucky to be alive, Loco. If I were you, I would be dead. So, scratch that…I don’t want to be you.”

“Huh,” Damien grunts after the pain recedes a bit and looks at his friend as he continues to stare at him. Finally seeing the bruises on his face, he winces, “You look like how I feel.”

“You must feel like shit then.”

Ever eloquent his LC, Damien grimly smiles and ends up groaning as his whole chest hurts as flashes of white-hot pain makes him close his eyes and lean his head back onto his pillow. After the pain settles into a dull throb, he wheezes out a ‘sounds about right,’ just as he lapses back into unconsciousness.

Sitting up from his bed, James looks worriedly at his friend. Not knowing what else to do, he signals the doctor and hesitates briefly before contacting the Major too, on his omni-tool. Doctor Chakwas had reluctantly left to take a short nap in her quarters, since she had been up for the past 24 hours straight; in fact they all had, except him and Liara. Once the Captain had been taken to the med bay and stabilized; Garrus, Kaidan, and the Doc had stayed by his side. They had taken shifts, not wanting him to awaken alone, until they were all exhausted, worn out from worrying about his injuries. The stress of the rescue and now the wait of whether Shepard would awaken again from his injuries were taking its toll on everyone. There was only so much they could do for him; so as third in command, Liara had finally made the executive decision to relieve all three of them of duty. This included the Doc, since they were playing the waiting game now, until Miranda arrived. Technically, Kaidan and the Doc outranked Liara; both being Majors in the Alliance, but due to Shepard’s foresight to name Liara as OIC if he and Garrus were made unavailable, she had full authority. That left James and Joker, the recently promoted LCs to help Liara run the ship. Since the ship pretty much ran itself, literally, due to EDI helping out, both he and Joker were pretty much left to help out when needed. 

Asking EDI to lower the lights in the med bay, James reflects back to when they brought their Captain onboard. As cold as Shepard had been when they found him, it had taken awhile to thaw him out even beyond what the Major and Javik were able to accomplish onboard the shuttle. It was touch and go for a while until they figured out why he wasn’t responding to the Doc’s treatment. James was sure that they would lose Shepard, until they hooked him up to the machines the Doc had mentioned that would stabilize him until Miranda joined them. As far as James was concerned, it was a miracle that Shepard was still with them or he just had a set of cast iron cajones, because he just kept hanging on. Or maybe it was just a will to live for something far greater than him, like his love for Kaidan. Either way, Shepard’s system finally levelled out and they all started to breathe easier. Not that he was out of the woods, yet. He was gravely injured, his implants had shut down from the cold climate he was forced to endure for so long. Now they only had to wait to see if he would awaken. Until now, he had been silent, sleeping peacefully for the past 24 hours straight without any indication of doing so. Thus, the order to rest... 

What concerned James the most at this point, was the Major. After his brazen rescue of Shepard, his behavior became increasingly erratic; a symptom of not being able to relax after Shepard’s condition was stabilized. Shepard was still in danger and after hours of waiting for him to awaken, it was taking its toll on Kaidan. He was beside himself with worry and was only doing himself further harm by not listening to the advice of the Doc about his own injury. She was concerned that he may have a concussion from when his head hit the shuttle door after catching Shepard. When Liara relieved him of duty, he protested until he was barred from entering the med bay by EDI. That left him wandering the ship like a caged animal. Apparently, he was unable to rest easy and refused to enter his shared quarters without Shepard. 

Watching the man stalk about the ship like a lost puppy had really started to bug James. Knowing he would feel the same way if someone he loved was in similar circumstances, James thought that if Shepard didn’t wake up soon, Kaidan was going to explode he was wound so tight. So when the man wandered down to the cargo bay to work off some much needed aggression, James followed him. He had found the Major beating the shit out of the heavy bag at his workout station. Thinking he could help Kaidan loosen up, he offered himself as sparring partner, thinking he may be able to handle whatever stress the Major needed to unload. Kaidan may have eight years on him plus more combat experience, but James figured he had a fair chance, since he could hold his own pretty well, except when sparring against Garrus or Shepard. They had him beat pretty quickly, no matter how many times he tried to take them on. 

Kaidan had turned him down flat, however, saying he didn’t spar with non-biotic personnel since it was way too easy to hurt them. Thinking about the challenge of taking on a biotic, an 'L2' no less, James had convinced him that with his new N3 status, he should get experience sparring with a biotic. It would award him a unique perspective for his eventual N4 training. Thinking it over, Kaidan had agreed that it was probably a good idea, but he would only spar on one condition; if he used half strength. 

Grimacing, James thought back to the memory of how long he lasted against the Major, even at half strength. Seeing as though he is now occupying his own bio-bed in the med bay, it was obvious that his great idea to spar an ‘L2’ biotic, was a stupid idea. At least he was successful in helping Kaidan work out his issues. Upon delivery at the med bay doors, still unable to enter, Kaidan had slapped him on the back, said thank you, and took himself off to the Starboard Observation room to rest. 

Upon entering the med bay with an exaggerated limp, James was immediately accosted by Liara, having taken a rotation to sit at Shepard’s side. She had looked him over once and took one of his arms, helping him over to the bio-bed adjacent to Shepard’s. After receiving a stern look, James explained what happened to him and looking sheepish, James pleaded with her not to wake the Doc. He wanted to postpone the eventual scolding the Doc would give him over his stupidity in sparring with a biotic. After shaking her head at him, Liara rolled her eyes heavenward, and mumbled something like, ‘By the goddess’ and ending with ‘Idiotic primitive humans.’ He had laughed, thinking she had obviously spent too much time around their new Prothean friend. 

Speaking of ‘Buggy,’ his nickname for their Prothean friend, he had come by after Liara had left in a huff, and had stood sentinel over their Captain when James needed to rest from his own injuries. Javik was a curious one. Obviously, based on Esteban’s recollections of what happened down on Noveria, Kaidan wasn’t too happy with the guy and blamed what happened to Shepard on him. As a result, Kaidan wasn’t speaking to him. 

He wasn’t the only one. After the ground team’s suit-cam footage was reviewed, there were mixed opinions on whether Javik would stay on the Normandy or get killed outright for his actions. Garrus was livid and was ready to throw the Prothean out the airlock, when Joker and Liara had talked him out of it, convincing him that Shepard should be the one to decide Javik’s fate. Garrus had walked away to work on his ‘calibrations’ of the Normandy’s weapon systems, officially closing himself off from temptation. Liara on the other hand had waited until Garrus had locked his door and went directly to Javik’s quarters where he was currently brooding over what had transpired during the mission. What happened between them was only rumors, but apparently she had barged into his quarters alight with her biotics; put him in a ‘Stasis’ field and thrown him into the wall, threatened him, and promised to let Garrus disembowel him if he didn’t make it up to Shepard for almost killing him. It was sometimes easy to forget that Liara could be just as deadly as the rest of Shepard’s ground team; she was usually so passive. Not this time, though. Instead, she was a force to be reckoned with…hell, she learned from the best. Apparently, Javik hadn’t even put up a fight and promised that his life was in Shepard’s hands. From that moment on, Javik had watched vigil over Shepard even from afar, staying silent, and unobtrusive from the rest of the crew. 

So, when Javik showed up to guard over Shepard, somehow knowing that he was needed, James didn’t even question him. He ended up staying until James had awakened from his nap and left shortly after. That was right before Shepard had decided to join the land of the living, thus catching them up to the present. 

Hearing his Captain stir again, James sits up when Shepard opens his eyes to look around the room before settling on him again. Smiling, he shifts to sit crossways on his own bio-bed to face his friend. “Welcome back.” 

“What happened to you?” Damien wheezes out as he looks at the bruises on James’ face once again. 

Before James can answer, Kaidan saunters into the med bay and says grinning, “I…happened to him.” Moving up to Damien’s bedside, Kaidan leans over and kisses his forehead. “Hey you…how are you feeling?”

Damien’s heart lurches in his chest at seeing the love in his fiancé’s eyes and reaches out to cup his face, brushing his hand along his cheek. “Better now,” he whispers as he traces Kaidan’s lower lip with his thumb.

Taking Damien’s hand in his, Kaidan smiles, “Glad to hear it.”

Wanting desperately to bring Kaidan in closer to kiss him, Damien pulls him close and at a hairsbreadth away from his lips, he pauses as he remembers that they’re not alone in the med bay. As one they turn to look at their friend who is making a thumb up gesture at them. 

With a shit eating grin, James smirks, “Oh, don’t mind me…I’ll just sit over here quietly…and watch.”

Clearing his throat, Damien releases Kaidan’s neck, and scoffs, “You’ve been spending way too much time with Joker. That’s his line. He’s the voyeur of the crew…”

Kaidan laughs when James reddens and flips them off.

Remembering his earlier question about the state of his LC, Damien looks between them and pauses when his eyes land on a bruise forming on Kaidan’s chin, “What do you mean you happened to James?”

Clearing his throat, James looks away sheepishly, “Uh…let’s just say, we danced a little…no harm done…really.”

Knowing that dancing really means sparring in James’ world, Damien grunts in surprise, deducing that since James is currently taking up residence in the med bay and Kaidan is not, that his fiancé won the scuffle. “I’m impressed.”

“Really?” Both James and Kaidan say at the same time, making all of them smile.

Looking at Kaidan, Damien grins, “I take it you won?” When he nods in assent, Damien smirks making him frown at him. “Don’t get me wrong, K, but you aren’t the fisticuff type. A biotic god, yes, but sparring without biotics? Plus, to give James credit…he’s pretty good.”

Kaidan smiles, “Ha. I might have been insulted if you weren’t correct, but I have to stop you from being impressed. I used biotics.”

Surprised, Damien sputters, “What?”

“Before you get mad, he asked me too. He wanted to know what it felt like to spar with a biotic,” Kaidan explains. “I used half strength on him,” he adds when Damien frowns, clearly upset. He’s another biotic who won’t use his powers on a non-biotic when training, or not usually, anyway. 

“Yeah, remind me to never try that again,” James groans, shifting in his bio-bed to lay back. 

“Yeah, you may want to skip biotic fighting and go straight to taking Sentinels and Adepts out from a distance…unless they’re a Vanguard, like me. In that case, I would uh…” Damien stops to think what he would do in that instance and James laughs sardonically, interrupting him. 

“Kiss my ass goodbye?”

“I wouldn’t go that far…there are some techniques that you could do to save yourself…but overall, it’s good to have a squad with at least one biotic with you. That way, they can help you deflect oncoming enemies…before you have to kiss anything.”

“Noted. Have you two ever sparred before?”

Damien looks fondly at Kaidan and smiles, remembering, “Not since the SR1.” Taking Kaidan’s hand, he squeezes it and adds, “Now that I’m upgraded with the L5x implant…hmm…it may be interesting.” When Kaidan winks at him, Damien nods, “We’ll have to try it sometime.” 

Also agreeing, Kaidan adds, “Just not at full strength.”

“Agreed.”

“Why not?” James asks, curious. 

Kaidan sits on the bed at Shepard’s side and entwines his fingers with his, “Because, we don’t want to hurt each other, that’s why not.”

“Aren’t you curious though, who would win?”

Kaidan and Shepard look at each other and laugh.

James grimaces not understanding the joke, “What’s so funny?”

Damien turns his head to looks at him, “Wrex asked us the same thing on the SR1 about who would win.” 

“Oh? What did you tell him?”

“The same thing…”

“Pfft…” James rolls his eyes, not happy with their response. Now that would be a fight to watch. Before he can ask another question, the door to the med bay opens to admit the Doctor. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t sleeping beauty. Decided to grace us with your presence, finally?”

Damien laughs and winces when pain envelops him. Waiting for the pain to recede, he grins at her, “Love you too, Doc.”

Karin walks over to the other side of his bio-bed, next to James, and starts checking his stats. Looking seriously at him, she notes that he is trying to hide the pain he is experiencing. “How are you feeling, really?”

Grimacing, Damien explains softly, cognizant of Kaidan and James watching him. “My chest hurts and it pains me to just breathe.”

“Good. That means that you’re alive and kicking.” After checking over his vitals once more, she looks at him fondly, “Can’t have the great ‘Commander Shepard’ felled by the cold.”

Damien scoffs and Kaidan chuckles. 

Looking at his fiancé, Kaidan smirks, “Let’s not retire to Noveria…that is my only request.”

“Hmm, you may be right. Two disastrous visits, does not a retirement home make. I’m not partial to ice planets. There’s only the one person we know there at the moment. You remember Parasini, that IA investigator?”

“Yeah?” Kaidan says nodding his brows furrowed, suspicious.

“I ran into her on Ilium last year. After helping her bring down a black market dealer, she invited me to come visit her. I got the impression that she was hoping for an extended visit, especially after coming on to me in front of Garrus and Tali; who never let me hear the end of it.” 

“Really…” Kaidan asks his voice low and ominous.

“Anyway, I bet she would love it if…”

“Over my dead body…” Kaidan declares his eyes indignant that someone would encroach on what is his. 

Damien smiles, clearly pleased that Kaidan’s possessiveness is showing. “No worries, K. I’m taken.”

Kaidan growls and leans over him, capturing his lips with his. Parting, he says fiercely, “Forever and always, babe. You’re mine.” 

“Ok. That is my cue to leave,” James says looking away from his friends’ private moment. Watching the Doc take his vitals and check over his bruised face, he asks, “Doc, can I just sleep this off?”

Exasperated at finding the LC in the med bay again for the same thing as the last two times, Karin nods and gives him a shot for the pain. “I really wish that you would stop offering yourself up as a punching bag for your friends.”

“You may have a point,” James grunts as he gingerly gets up off the bio-bed and leans against it, steeling himself for the walk to the cargo bay. 

Karin rolls her eyes at him and walks away, “Finally…” and ends up mumbling to herself about stubborn fools. 

Grinning, he looks fondly at the Doctor, “Aww, she likes me…”

Kaidan and Shepard laugh.

Walking toward the exit, James waves at them, “Later amigos. Good to have you back among the living and breathing, Shepard…later,” and exits, the doors shutting behind him. 

Frowning at James’ words, Damien looks at Karin as she walks back over to stand at his side, “How close was it really?”

Kaidan looks down and away, not really ready to admit how close they got to losing him. 

Chakwas looks him directly in the eye, “It was close, Captain. Let’s just say your new body doesn’t do well in the frigid cold temperatures that you found yourself in. These machines that you are hooked up to are keeping you functioning until we pick up our specialist and get to our destination. Your condition is too severe to maintain indefinitely or at least not here on the Normandy.”

“What? I take it we’re going back to the Citadel, then. How many days out are we?”

“We aren’t going to the Citadel, Damien. Due to the increase in relay traffic, it would take too long…so, we’re going to the next best option for us. Let’s just say that you will be able to visit with your mother in person,” Kaidan explains. 

“Oh…” Damien says understanding immediately where they’re headed. Remembering that Karin said they were picking up a specialist, he can only think of one person that may be able to help with his condition. “When do we rendezvous with Miranda?”

Not really surprised that Damien figured out what she was saying, Karin checks the clock on her omni-tool, “About an hour. Her shuttle is meeting us in the next system before we take the relay to our destination.” Catching the fond looks of the two men as they hold hands, she adds, “Since, I will have to sedate you before Miranda arrives, I will leave you in the capable hands of your medic, for the time being. You might want a little time to yourselves, you know, should you not…uh…wake up, again.” When, Damien looks at her surprised, she nods. “It’s definitely possible, Shepard. You need to be prepared.” Karin pauses to blink away her tears at the thought of losing this man she considers a son. When they nod in understanding, she adds looking at Kaidan, “At the first sign of trouble…”

“I’ll contact you. Not to worry, Doc, my patient means everything to me and I will make sure he is comfortable while you are gone.”

“Good.” Looking at them seriously, she squeezes Damien’s arm lightly. Then she grins suddenly, and winks, “No funny business.” When Damien groans in response and Kaidan laughs, she waves at them and leaves.

{{{}}}

“Well that’s ominous,” Damien says trying to make light of the seriousness of the warning the Doc just left them with. 

Kaidan pulls a chair over and sits in it. He leans over and takes Damien’s hand, bringing it closer to kiss it. Bowing his head, he lets himself feel everything that he’s been hiding for the past day while waiting for Damien to awaken. With tears running down his cheeks, he whispers, “I thought I lost you.”

Tipping Kaidan’s head up so he can look into his eyes, Damien shakes his head. “But, you haven’t…and you won’t. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Miranda knows what she’s doing.”

“But…should you not…wake up again…” Kaidan whispers, his voice hoarse with the amount of emotion he’s feeling. 

“No. Don’t think like that. I have so much to look forward to…with you. We have a future together, beyond this damn war.” Damien stops, his heart aching at seeing his fiancé look so distraught. Wanting desperately to make him feel better, he smiles and adds, “We have a wedding to plan.” 

Looking up, Kaidan brushes his hand along Damien’s jaw, “We do, don’t we.” Trying to distract his wayward thoughts from thinking about the worst that could happen…if Damien were to not make it; he focuses on what Damien just said. “We haven’t talked about the wedding, yet. Do you want to wait until after the war is over? It could be a victory celebration for us. Do you want a big wedding? A small wedding? Where would you like to have it?”

Damien smiles, catching on that Kaidan is deflecting his grim thoughts to stay positive. “I was thinking that I would like to have it on Earth, maybe Vancouver. I know that you want your mother to be there. I want my mother, Hackett, and Anderson, to be able to attend. What better place than where you grew up? I was thinking a small wedding; you know just close family and friends.”

Nodding at everything, Kaidan asks, “I suppose you’re thinking of asking Garrus to be your best man?”

“Yes. However, I would like Tali and Joker to stand up with me, too. They’re my best friends. What about you?”

Kaidan laughs, “I was thinking of James, Cortez, and Wrex, since I doubt Tali or Joker would stand up with me instead of you. They are my best friends, too.”

“We’ll give them the choice.”

“Ok. What about the rest of the crew; Samantha, EDI, Liara…”

“Both crews of the Normandy will be invited, of course. I have a few others from my N7 training class and people I’ve met over the years. I guess you will want to invite a few of your biotic students, from your teaching days, right? We’ll make a list.”

Kaidan nods. 

Running the list of people he would want to invite to his wedding, Damien grimaces. “I suppose a ‘small’ wedding is a pipe dream, isn’t it? It’s going to be a mess…”

Chuckling, Kaidan agrees, “The marriage of two Spectres? The first human Spectre who is the savior of the galaxy, three times I might add, and the second human Spectre, who killed the human Councilor and helped bring down Saren and the Reapers? Nah, I can’t imagine the wedding will be all that memorable, really.”

They both laugh. 

“The media is going to go nuts…” Damien adds huffing at the thought. 

Kaidan grins and leans in to kiss him again, “Worth it though.”

Lingering over the feel of Kaidan’s soft lips, Damien knows his time is running out before the Doctor returns. There are a few things he needs to take care of, so after Kaidan sits back in his chair, he looks up at the intercom above them, “EDI, can you have Garrus, Joker, and Liara come to the medical bay? I want to talk to them before the Doctor sedates me.”

“Damien?” Kaidan asks curious as to why he would call a meeting.

Damien shakes his head and holds out his hand, asking him to wait.

EDI unlocks the med bay door. Garrus and Liara enter. They both walk up to his bio-bed, smiling at seeing him awake.

Liara pats his other hand, “Glad to see you awake, Shepard.”

Garrus eyes his friends holding hands and how Kaidan is standing protective over his injured mate. Also, noticing the unshed emotion the both of them are exuding and the acrid scent of fear, he asks trying to lighten the mood, “Have we interrupted something? We can close the shutters and give you a little privacy is you’d like.”

“Funny…as if I have the energy,” Damien scoffs. 

Kaidan chuckles and winks at him. 

Joker shuffles through the med bay doors and takes the chair that Garrus rolls over from the Doctor’s station. Settling in, he huffs exaggeratedly, “Will this take very long? Ship to fly, you know,” and smiles at Damien. 

“Sorry to take you away from your duties, but I have some things I would like to say.” Damien explains as he looks fondly at his friends surrounding him. Then he focuses on Joker, “Are you sure it’s the ship that I’m taking you away from? Could it be your other extra-curricular activities, instead?”

Joker laughs, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.” It was a well-known fact that Joker would watch porn during the long FTL flights between systems to pass the time.

They all laugh, the mood lightening a little.

Sobering, Damien steels himself, “The Doctor has informed me…us,” he adds as he looks at Kaidan, then at his friends, “That it’s possible that I may not…make it.” Liara gasps and Garrus wraps his arm around her to lend her his strength. Looking at Joker who is choked with emotion, too, Garrus puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Silently, they look at each other, and with determination they steel themselves and look back at their CO and best friend, and nod in understanding. Proud of his friends for having the ability to sideline their feelings for the time being, he continues. “My friends…my family, you are why I fight. Why I’ve been fighting. It’s because of you and your loyalty, dedication, and determination that keeps me from saying to hell with it. You’ve all been with me since the very beginning, including Tali, and I’m honored to have served with you.”

Garrus bows his head in respect, “The honor is ours, Shepard.”

Brushing the tears from Kaidan’s cheek, Damien looks at each of his friends, determination in his eyes. “I don’t plan on going anywhere…Miranda knows what she’s doing. I have faith in her ability to fix me once again, but just in case…” With fire in his eyes, he adds, “Win this war. There is a way…somehow, to defeat the Reapers and send them back to the hell they crawled out of. I believe that if anyone can do it, the crew of the Normandy can. I believe in all of you. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud.”

Joker declares, “We will.”

Liara nods, still unable to talk due to the emotion she is feeling. 

“And, if it comes to pass that we die, I’ll meet you at the bar,” Garrus says fiercely, that same fire within his eyes.

“Damn straight. The first round is on me.” Damien grins at his Turian best friend. “One more thing…if I’m not in command anymore and with the Alliance running point, as a Major and Spectre, Kaidan, you would be the next one to take command. I know that originally I had excluded you, but with me gone, that changes things.”

Garrus interrupts him, “We all know why you excluded him before, Shepard. With you gone…it makes sense that he would take over. I would be honored to serve as your XO, Kaidan. I think we all would be.”

With Damien and the rest of them looking at him, Kaidan nods in acknowledgement. 

“On a more personal note, Kaidan, I wanted you to be aware that I have an apartment on the Citadel. Anderson gave it to me. I just haven’t had the time to take ownership of it yet. I also have some stuff in storage…you know, since we’re engaged. My mother and Hackett have the specifics, but I want you to have it, Kaidan. Everything I have is yours.”

“Damien…” Kaidan’s voice catches and squeezes his hand, before slightly motioning a cut to his throat regarding staying quiet around their friends. 

Damien reddens, “Well…uh…Garrus and Joker already know about us, and Liara…” he looks at her and she smiles and winks at him. “You knew already, didn’t you?” Damien concludes, not really surprised that she knew about them. 

“I’m a really good information broker, Shepard. Besides, I’m not the only one to know about you two. The whole ship knows.”

“What?” Damien asks the room at large, looking up at his chuckling fiancé. 

Kaidan shakes his head, “Don’t look at me? I’ve been kind of busy rescuing you.” 

Joker looks away sheepishly, “I kind of let it slip to James that you two were engaged, and the rest is history. He works fast…”

Damien grunts and rolls his eyes. Oh well, it was bound to get out eventually. 

With time running short and wanting some alone time with Kaidan, Damien glares first at Garrus and then looks pointedly at Kaidan. “By the way…I forbid you to kill Javik. I know his actions led to my getting injured, but he is not to be harmed. Understood? He has a part to play in all this…I just don’t know yet what it is.” The med bay windows had been open since he’d awakened earlier and the lone figure in red armor had not gone unnoticed. After hearing groans and an exaggerated sigh, he adds, “And, no Garrus, that means you cannot throw him out the airlock.”

Clucking in disapproval, Garrus raises his hands and starts pacing, “Gah! You’re impossible, Shepard. Fine!” 

“Once I wake up, I’ll deal with him. We have a lot to talk about, but not now. If you guys don’t mind, I would like a few minutes alone with Kaidan.” 

After several minutes of practically saying farewell to his friends, they quietly leave him alone with Kaidan sitting beside him. Asking EDI to close the shutters to give them a little privacy, Damien moves over a bit and gestures to Kaidan to join him. “Can you hold me, Kaidan? One more time…”

Making a small whimper, Kaidan nods and being careful, he slides into the bio-bed with Shepard and gingerly wraps an arm around him, aware of his every movement so as not to jostle him, and cause more pain. Getting comfortable, Kaidan leans in and cups Damien’s face to kiss his supple lips.

Brushing his hand through Kaidan’s salt and pepper hair, enjoying the low moan Kaidan emits, Damien smiles at his lover. “Now this is heaven. Can we just stay like this forever, my love?” he whispers in his ear.

“Yes.” Kaidan says gasping when Damien nips the sensitive spot on his neck. Even gravely injured, all Damien has to do is touch him and his body lights up with need. He breathes in deeply; the scent of his fiancé’s aftershave is faint but still recognizable. This scent that is pure Damien, he will never forget, it’s so ingrained. “My love, you must come back to me. Without you I am lost.” He traces Damien’s face with his eyes and brushes his hand across his whiskered jaw. “Your place is at my side. Don’t leave me here in the dark without you.” 

Remembering those same words in his dream before waking up, Damien whispers back, “Never. I’ll always come back to you. You…are my everything...” Not caring if it causes him further pain, he pulls Kaidan closer so he can feel his body next to his and sucks on his lower lip, pulling a moan from him, when he deepens the kiss, leaving them both breathless.

“Damien…mmm…I don’t want to hurt you,” Kaidan protests.

“I don’t care. I need this…need you, one last time.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

They stay like that until the arrival of the Doctor, making Kaidan move back into his chair by Damien’s bedside. He wasn’t going to leave until Damien falls asleep. 

Staying Karin’s hand, Damien smiles up at her and says, “Thank you,” putting enough feeling into those two words to make her nod in understanding. She is fully aware of what he is trying to say. Thank you for always taking care of him. Thank you for serving with him; for following him when he needed her. Thank you for giving him time alone with his fiancé. Those two little words made her tear up and lean over to kiss his forehead before giving him the sedative. 

With determination and a little bit of fear at possibly not seeing his beloved again, Damien keeps a death grip on Kaidan’s hand until the sedative kicks in; deftly putting him into a peaceful sleep. 

{{{}}}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had plans to include Miranda in this chapter, but decided to split it into two. Leave the dilemma of whether she will play nice with others...or not, for another rainy day. Either way, hope you liked it. :) 
> 
> Question: Hey, does anyone know how to use italics on this thing? I'm not so good with the programming of features...


	17. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all the kudos and comments. This chapter is rated 'M' for language. 
> 
> Enjoy!

{{{}}}

“Miranda, thanks for coming,” Doctor Chakwas says looking up from her station in the med bay when the woman walks in and beelines directly for Shepard’s bio-bed. 

After checking over his vitals, she brings up her omni-tool and starts pouring over the stats on his implants. Not looking up, Miranda indignantly points out, “I will always come when Shepard needs me.”

Karin huffs and shakes her head, obviously being on the run from Cerberus hasn’t cured Miranda of her haughtiness. Tali may be right in her assessment of the woman; a bitch being the nicest thing any of them could say about her. Her only redeeming quality that Karin can think of at the moment is that she brought Shepard back from the dead and she’s willing to help out today. That by itself was enough for Karin to put up with the woman’s attitude. 

Frowning slightly at the readings, Miranda finally looks over at her to ask, “Has he awakened since being rescued?”

“Yes. He was awake for a couple of hours. I sedated him when his stats started to drop.” Chakwas replies as she joins Miranda at Shepard’s bedside. 

“Hmm…” Miranda nods and goes back to her readings, absently saying, “That was a good idea.”

Gee…thanks for your support, Karin thinks to herself. She is a medical doctor. She knows how to take care of her gravely injured patients. Finding it hard to not speak her mind to Miranda, she’s interrupted by the med bay door opening to admit a pale and shaky Kaidan.

Happy for the distraction, Karin meets him halfway and leads him over to the adjacent bio-bed from Shepard. Smiling at him, she looks him over and notices that he’s flinching from the lights and is holding his head as if he’s in a lot of pain. “Migraine?”

Nodding, Kaidan winces, “Yes. It finally hit with a vengeance. Can I have a shot?”

“Of course,” Chakwas says and walks over to her stores to get what he needs. 

Looking over at the woman who just arrived, a short time ago, Kaidan asks her curious as to what she has been able to determine from Damien’s injuries. “What’s the prognosis?”

Startled, Miranda looks up into honey colored eyes. She had been so engrossed in reading through the stats on Shepard’s implants that she had totally missed his entrance. Reflecting back to her arrival in the cargo bay, she doesn’t remember seeing him. As soon as her shuttle landed, she was met by Garrus and Liara, plus a squad of Alliance security officers. Apparently, her reputation preceded her and they were reacting to her former status as a senior operative with Cerberus. Garrus had quickly defused the situation and pulled her aside as soon as the soldiers were dismissed to discuss the incident on Noveria and Shepard’s current status. 

It wasn’t really surprising that Garrus was now the XO. After leading the alternate teams through the Collector Base the year prior and with Shepard’s encouragement, leadership looked good on the Turian. Plus, she was aware that Shepard and Garrus were best friends. So, the fact that the Turian had followed Shepard again for this current conflict was not surprising in the least. It was Liara’s presence that was disappointing. Narrowing her eyes at the Asari, Miranda had never forgotten that Damien had rejected her in favor of his relationship with the infamous ‘Shadow Broker.’ A relationship she thought was destined for failure since Liara wouldn’t even join them on their crusade against the Collectors. She only used him to acquire her new title. That by itself was enough for Miranda to almost sneer at the woman. So much for loyalty… What Shepard ever saw in her, Miranda has no idea, but in the end, her respect for his loyalty to the Asari bitch increased after she got over the sting of his rejection. 

Not wanting to linger so Liara could lord it over her that she had her hooks into Shepard, Miranda had insisted she see him right away. In fact, she was itching to see him, even if he was only a friend…a good friend. Since the war began, they only had the time to meet up once in person and once by QEC, and it just wasn’t enough. Even on the run from her former employer, she had made it a priority to contact Shepard. Ever since his reconstruction, being around him always had her heart racing and her face flushing as her senses became more acute whenever he was around…a symptom that still baffled her. However, she was totally aware that she had a crush on him. He was the quintessential male specimen. Perfect. There was just something about him…something that got her attention. He was courageous, charismatic, loyal, dedicated...he drew you in, made you believe in his cause…and with an added plus, he was absolutely gorgeous. Hell…she should know. She rebuilt him from the ground up. She was very familiar with what he looked like naked. She even took a few liberties with his reconstruction. Something that she felt a little guilty about, but didn’t think he minded. What guy would mind the enhancements she added? The only problem was, she never got to see his magnificent body in any other way than medically. It’s not as if she didn’t try to take their relationship further. Unfortunately, Damien was loyal to Liara and had said so from the very beginning. Although peeved that he would dare to reject her advances, he never led her on, or initiated anything with her. So, when she pushed, he did exactly that…rejected her. Gently, of course. But, it was still a rejection nonetheless. That was definitely not something she has ever experienced before. It hurt, actually. Afterward, she had tried to distance herself from him, but eventually she got over it and pushed aside the pain, and they had parted as good friends. Thus, when Garrus had requested her presence to meet up with them, she couldn’t say no. 

Remembering that she was asked a question, she takes a minute to check this other man out. Looking him up and down, she bites her lip...not bad; Alliance officer, good muscle tone, chiseled jawline, a biotic by the looks of the scar at his neck. He was a little wan and pasty, obviously in distress by the look of pain on his face. If not for the man she came here to help, this one was definitely her type. But, there was something about him that was familiar. Where has she seen him before? While she ponders that question, she notices that he’s not looking at her, which is a surprise. She is used to men checking her out. No, this man is looking over Shepard’s vitals, intelligence in his eyes. He’s clearly had medical training. When his eyes seek out hers again after not getting an answer, she responds, “He’s stable, at the moment. However, his implants are malfunctioning, which is troubling since even in the conditions he was forced to endure on Noveria, he should’ve been fine.”

“Can you fix him?” Kaidan asks as he looks down at his sleeping fiancé. 

Hmm…he still hasn’t given her a once over like she’s used to. Frowning in confusion, she nods, “I believe I can. As soon as we arrive at ‘The Crucible’ we will prep him for surgery.”

Gingerly, Kaidan stands opposite of her at Damien’s bedside and takes his hand into both of his. Looking at her, he smiles. “That’s good to hear.”

What the…? Who is this man to Shepard? Maybe he’s just a concerned friend? Miranda thinks to herself as she watches him bring Damien’s hand up to his lips to kiss it. 

Doctor Chakwas walks back over and injects Kaidan with the migraine medicine he asked for. “You’re all set, Kaidan.”

Miranda blinks, shocked at hearing the man’s name. Kaidan? Ah, now she recognizes him. So, this is Major Kaidan Alenko, second human Spectre. The Alliance soldier they ran into on Horizon last year. What the hell is he doing here? He accused Shepard of being a traitor for working with Cerberus to take down the Collectors. Stumped at not having the answers, she goes back to reading Shepard’s stats and listens to the Doctor and Kaidan talk. 

“Why don’t you go and lay down, Kaidan,” the Doctor says as she lays a hand on his arm, making him look at her. 

“I want to be here for Damien.”

Smiling, Karin shakes her head, “He’s not going anywhere. I’ll contact you before we transfer him to the facility on the ‘The Crucible.’ It will do you some good to get some sleep.”

Looking as if he’s about to protest, another shooting pain behind his eyes makes him cover them with his hand and gasp. Grimacing at the pain, he nods in agreement. “You might be right.”

Leaning over to kiss Damien’s forehead, Kaidan lingers briefly, wanting desperately to stay but knows that he would only be in the way. Plus, the migraine that finally emerged after the adrenaline of the past day finally wore off, was extremely painful. He’ll need to rest to let the medicine take effect. The Doc is right. In order to be fully functional for when Damien is transferred to the hospital facility for his surgery, Kaidan intends to be there at his side through the whole thing. 

Finally allowing himself to check out the woman Miranda who is reading data on her omni-tool ignoring them for the moment, he frowns. He’s aware of her former association with Cerberus. That knowledge gives him a moment of pause…leaving Damien with her, even with the Doctor here, bothers him. He knows that she was the one to bring Damien back from the dead and he will forever be grateful to her for doing that…but, the lingering doubt of her past employment worries him. Motioning to the Doctor to follow him to the med bay doors, he lowers his voice and asks, “Are you sure we can trust her?” looking at the woman in question. 

Knowing Kaidan’s issue with anything related to Cerberus, except Shepard’s affiliation with them, is troubling for him, Karin nods her head. “Shepard is in good hands, Kaidan. Miranda wouldn’t have come all this way if she didn’t have his back. She knows what she’s doing. You can trust that she will do whatever it takes to bring Shepard back to us.”

Kaidan looks longingly at Damien sleeping peacefully on the bio-bed, his heart clenching on the idea that if he isn’t at his bedside something terrible might happen. He looks over at the Doc when she grabs his attention by laying her hand on his arm. Looking down and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, he concedes, “If…if anything were to happen…” he stammers as the thought overwhelms him.

Karin wraps an arm around his shoulders and gives him a one-armed hug, surprising him. “I’ll contact you…I promise.”

Grateful, he nods and gives her a small smile, his heart in his eyes, “Okay. Thanks, Doc.”

Giving him a small shove in the direction of the elevator, she encourages him to leave, “Now get some sleep…please, Kaidan. You are no good to Shepard if you don’t rest…”

“Okay, Doc,” he looks back once more at his fiancé and then gives her a heartfelt, ‘thank you,’ similar to the thank you that Damien gave her. 

Karin smiles and nods at him, shooing him the rest of the way out of the med bay. 

{{{}}}

Miranda rounds on the Doctor as soon as she returns to Shepard’s bedside, “How dare he…who does he think he is?” she seethes.

Karin sighs, “Kaidan has an issue with all things Cerberus or ex-Cerberus. He’s had a hard time letting go of all of his animosity towards your old employers. Especially, since one of Cerberus’ mechs almost killed him on Mars.”

Miranda narrows her eyes on the doctor and tries to get her anger under control. Looking down at Shepard, she brushes her fingers through his hair and along his chiseled jaw. Thinking about when Kaidan was here, she narrows in on the emotion he displayed in his worry over Shepard’s condition. Confused; a feeling she doesn’t have often, Miranda looks up at the Doctor, “Who is he to Shepard?”

Having guessed last year about her attachment to Shepard, Karin clears her throat and shuffles her feet, uncomfortable with having to be the person to inform her that Damien is engaged. Oh well, no time like the present. She may as well get it over with so she can step in if Miranda decides to not help them. “He and Shepard are together.”

Miranda gasps and looks at the Doc in surprise, “What? I thought Shepard was with Liara?”

“They were together until the Major rejoined the crew a while ago. I guess he and Shepard have had a thing for each other for a long time and they finally decided to make a go of it.”

Miranda reflects back to the cargo bay as she was talking with Garrus. The way Liara looked at her all smug and gloating, she thought it was because Shepard and Liara were still together, but now…she sneers, that fucking Asari. Feeling herself begin to lose control of her biotics, she focuses on what the Doctor said and frowns. The emotion she saw in Kaidan’s eyes when he looked at Shepard was more than just the beginnings of a relationship. Confused again, she asks, “Make a go of it…what Kaidan displayed was more than just concern for a boyfriend.”

Miranda always did know how to read a room or situation. That’s probably why she was put in charge of the Lazarus Project, which brought Shepard back from the dead. Karin checks over Shepard’s vitals again and nodding at his stats once they displayed on her omni-tool, she looks at the woman across from her, “Yes, you are correct. They’re engaged.”

Miranda goes still at the news, not in anger, but with a deep sense of loss. She gasps and turns away, her heart clenching at the idea that Shepard is lost to her. Her stomach clenches, like she has to throw up and she sways and grabs onto the empty bio-bed next to her. Trying not to hyperventilate, her emotions completely out of whack, she shuts her eyes and clenches her teeth, trying to bring her calm façade of control back. Opening her eyes, she seethes as anger takes over. Son of a bitch…the thought that the Cerberus hating asshole was engaged to what she has always considered to be hers…how he dares think that he is good enough to be with Shepard, the man she brought back from death’s door…the man she sculpted into the perfect specimen… Seeing red, she seethes as she tries to tamp down her suddenly murderous thoughts for the man who just left. Clenching her hands into fists, she looks back at the man unconscious on the bio-bed, her eyes running over him. Feeling protective, she begins to relax as an idea forms. 

Karin worries as she looks over at Miranda, wondering what she is thinking about. The other woman’s countenance is off and she is leaning against the bio-bed like it’s a lifeline. Feeling a slight stirring of ozone in the air, she stiffens when Miranda suddenly glows blue; her biotics suffusing her with a light sheen of energy, but only for a second. If she had blinked, she would have missed it. Miranda stiffens and her biotics recede, just as she turns around and without a word continues to check through Shepard’s stats on his implants. 

All business, Miranda looks at her, “Once we arrive at the Crucible, we need to prep him for surgery. I sent ahead what I will need to reset Shepard’s implants with and have gathered a team of personnel who can assist me. I’ll need your help too, Doctor, so just in case this happens again, I can entrust that you will know what to do. Without Shepard, this conflict will fail. We must not lose him.”

Seeing that Miranda has gotten her emotions under control and is back to business, Karin nods. “Of course. Whatever you need, I’m at your disposal.” She smiles fondly down at the man she considers a son, “Anything for Shepard.” She owes him her life, several times over. Finally, she can return the favor. 

{{{}}}

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Kaidan yawns as he leaves the Starboard Observation Lounge. Stretching a kink out of his back, he grimaces; the bed in the Lounge just wasn’t the same as the one in his and Damien’s quarters. Still unable to stand being in their quarters without his fiancé, he has to admit, even with the state of the mattress aside, he feels better. The few hours of rest he was able to get after the Doc gave him the shot for his migraine really helped. His migraine had receded enough to a dull headache and he’s now able to think straight. After using the facilities, he makes his way to the mess to grab a snack before heading back into the med bay. They obviously hadn’t arrived yet, since no one had contacted him, yet. 

Walking into the mess, he pauses at the med bay just long enough to see that the shutters were still closed and turns toward the kitchen, when Joker and a woman he doesn’t recognize waves him over to their table. 

“Where the hell have you been, Kaidan?”

Shocked at Joker’s tone, Kaidan sputters indignantly until the strangely garbed woman clucks her tongue at Joker’s rudeness. “What Joker really means is we’re surprised to still see you on the Normandy, Major. I’m Kasumi Goto, by the way. Joker’s girlfriend,” she adds when he looks at her blankly.

Suddenly panicking as Kasumi’s presence finally makes sense, Kaidan asks, “How long ago did we arrive?”

Joker looks at his omni-tool, “About two hours ago. Why?”

“Shit! Has Damien already been transferred to the hospital?”

Frowning, Joker nods, “Yeah, as soon as we docked.”

“Son of a bitch! The Doc said she would contact me…sorry, Joker. It’s not your fault. I’m just worried…have you heard anything?”

“Seeing as I hate hospitals, spending all my time there growing up, I’ve heard very little. I’m sorry I can’t give you more information. I can contact Garrus. He and Liara and half the crew are at the hospital waiting for news.”

Kaidan shakes his head, “No. I’ll go right away. I need to know firsthand.”

“Of course…” Joker agrees.

Remembering his manners even though he’s seething inside at not being messaged before the transfer happened and frantic not knowing how Damien is doing, Kaidan quickly adds, “Nice to meet you, Kasumi. Wish it had been under better circumstances.”

“No worries. We’ll see each other again, I’m sure.” Kasumi stands up and puts a hand on his arm just as he is about to turn away. “Shep will be okay. I know he will.”

Looking down, Kaidan breathes in and lets it out slow, trying to relieve some of the tension from learning that he wasn’t notified as promised. Raising his eyes to this woman who he recognizes as served with Damien while taking down the Collectors the year before, he nods. Having read up on their numerous missions, he knows that Damien often added her as a part of his ground team and considered her a good friend and confidant. She was someone he trusts wholeheartedly and when she confided in him that she had a thing for their stubborn pilot, he encouraged her to pursue him. It was because of Damien that they were a happy couple now. He stares at her for a moment and recognizes the conviction in her statement. It was obvious that she felt the same in return. He gives her a small smile, “Thank you.” 

Nodding, she releases his arm and sits back down next to Joker and takes his hand in hers.

Focusing on Joker as he brings Kasumi’s hand up to his lips to kiss it, Kaidan recognizes that Joker isn’t doing so well. He has stress lines and dark circles under his eyes. It seems as though he’s also taking this whole situation hard. Wanting to lighten the load for the both of them, he walks up to his friend and lays his hand on his shoulder, gently. “I’ll find out what’s going on and let you both know how Damien’s doing.”

Leaning into his girlfriend’s arm as she wraps it around his shoulders, it’s Joker’s turn to give Kaidan a small smile. “Thanks.”

{{{}}} 

“Kaidan?” Doctor Chakwas exclaims as he comes hurrying into the waiting room, looking frantic and a little angry. 

Seeing the Doc talking to Liara and Garrus, inside the waiting room, he sidelines his anger for now and joins them. Seeing relief on their faces, he starts to breathe a little easier, knowing the prognosis is good. “Doctor, how is he?”

“He’s responding well, so far. His cybernetics and implants are being reset. Miranda says that he should have full functionality and will make a swift recovery. She is just running diagnostics on his implants, to see if his enhanced healing ability will initiate accordingly. He’s not totally out of the woods, yet, not until he awakens, but as soon as Miranda is done with her post-op procedures, Shepard will be transferred to his room while we wait for him to do so. We will re-evaluate him once he’s up and talking.” Having wondered where he had gone off to since leaving the med bay after she gave him the shot for his migraine, she asks curious, “Where have you been?” She hadn’t had the time to ask EDI to follow up with her message once they docked, but figured Kaidan would join them soon after. Since then, she was preoccupied with helping Miranda. 

Having all his tension drain out of him when he heard that Damien was going to be okay, Kaidan frowns, “What do you mean where have I been? I asked you to contact me before you moved him into the facility.”

Karin looks at him confused, “I contacted you hours ago.”

“What?” Kaidan immediately checks his omni-tool. No messages were received today. He shows her his message log. “I haven’t received anything from you in days.”

“That can’t be…” Karin frowns, confused as to why the message she distinctly remembers sending didn’t arrive in Kaidan’s inbox. She checks her sent messages and sure enough, the message is there. She forwards the message to him once again. “Here. I sent it again to show you that I did send it to you. I knew how important it was for you to be at Shepard’s side. I’m sorry.”

Knowing the Doc would always contact him in regards to Shepard’s wellbeing, Kaidan looks at the message receipt from earlier and sure enough it was sent just under two hours ago; just as Damien was transferred to the hospital. Looking up at her and seeing that she is fretting about his reaction to this fiasco, he sighs. “No worries, Karin, it’s not your fault. I’ll contact EDI and see if there was a network problem or something. We’re good…you and I.”

Smiling, Karin releases a big sigh and uncharacteristically gives him a hug.

Stepping back feeling a little awkward, Kaidan contacts EDI to do exactly that. What he learns just makes him angry again.

“I’m sorry, Major Alenko, but our servers on the Normandy are in excellent condition. However, at the time of Shepard’s transfer, there was a block on all communications being sent out from the med bay.”

Doctor Chakwas gasps, “What?” Thinking about what transpired at the time, Karin suddenly frowns. Shit. There is only one source where the block could have come from. A source that is very familiar with the internal workings of the Normandy. It must have been their conversation about Shepard’s relationship with Kaidan that made Miranda do such a thing. Shaking her head, she mutters to herself, “What is she playing at…?”

Having watched the exchange between the Doctor and Kaidan, Garrus suddenly snorts in outrage, also coming to the same conclusion. Chakwas had informed him earlier while grabbing a snack before they arrived at ‘The Crucible,’ about her conversation with Miranda regarding Shepard’s new relationship status. Growling, Garrus huffs in annoyance, “We both know she doesn’t take rejection well. That must have been why she resorted to blocking the message.”

“Wait…what? Miranda is the reason why I didn’t receive your message?” Kaidan exclaims once he reads into their conversation. Glowing blue with rage, he starts looking around for the woman who caused him such distress at not knowing if Damien was going to make it or not. 

Karin lays her hand on his arm, distracting him, “She’s the one doing the surgery on Shepard right now, Kaidan.”

Releasing his energy, Kaidan clenches his jaw and his shoulders slump. “Right. Wait…why aren’t you in there too, Doc?”

“I came out to talk with Admiral Shepard about her son.”

“Oh…” Kaidan looks around and sees her standing off to the side with Admiral Hackett. Straightening, he walks to her side and salutes. “Admiral Shepard…Admiral Hackett.”

Waving aside his salute, Hannah surprises Kaidan by enveloping him into a hug. Pulling back, she exclaims, “Kaidan…I was wondering why you weren’t here. Now I know…” With tears in her eyes, she gushes, “Thank you…for saving my son.”

Cognizant of Admiral Hackett looking on, Kaidan shakes his head, feeling a little awkward for talking about something so personal in front of the head of the Alliance. “No thanks needed. He would have done the same thing for me.”

Seeing he is making the Major uncomfortable, Steven takes Hannah’s hand and kisses it, bringing her eyes to his. “I have some business to take care of. Please keep me informed of Shepard’s progress. I’ll return when he’s out of surgery.”

Smiling at him, Hannah nods, “Thank you, Steven. I’ll contact you later.”

He nods and smiles before exiting the waiting room, leaving the two of them alone for the moment.

Hannah ushers Kaidan to the chairs behind them and invites him to sit with her as they wait for Damien to be transferred to his room in the intensive care unit. Giving Liara and Garrus a small nod of acknowledgement, she looks at the man beside her. “It’s been a long time, Kaidan. If not for the circumstance, I am happy to see you again. In person that is…”

Kaidan smiles sadly at her, “Yes. I agree.” Taking her hand, he squeezes it quickly, trying to reassure her. “Damien’s going to make it, Admiral. I know it. He’s a fighter…it’s what he does.”

“Please…call me Hannah. You’re dating my son. I think we can skip the pleasantries. I’m just glad that he has someone, now. Someone to fight for as you say…someone to love.” She looks briefly at the closed doors of the waiting room, the same doors that Hackett exited from. She smiles knowingly and winks at him. “Trust me, I get it.”

Blushing slightly, Kaidan looks away his lips twitching with a smile. Even though he’s happy that Damien’s mother seems to have found something to live and fight for as well, he can’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable at discussing Admiral Hackett’s love life. “Uh yeah…Damien told me.”

Watching her son’s boyfriend blush at her admission, she laughs at his reaction. Recognizing that she’s made him uncomfortable talking about his ultimate boss, she instead starts to tell him stories about when Damien was young and how mischievous he was at getting into trouble. 

Obviously that hasn’t changed much. Now, the trouble he's gotten himself into was saving the galaxy. 

{{{}}}

The waiting room was quieter now. Once Doctor Chakwas returned to help Miranda finish up, Garrus had given the order for 24 hours of shore leave or until their Captain was on the mend and able to recover fully back on the Normandy. Then, at the encouragement of Kaidan, Garrus had informed the rest of the crew, first and foremost Joker and Kasumi, regarding the good news. Once word went out that they had shore leave, the crew scattered. Those that wanted to stay and wait, were allowed to, thus after two more hours, all that was left in the waiting room were Damien’s mother and close friends. Kaidan, Garrus, and Liara, sat in the corner listening to Hannah tell stories about Damien, while Samantha and EDI sat nearby. Gabby and Ken, had joined them not long after the 24 hour alert went out and Steve and James sat at the opposite side of the room, playing poker. 

James had felt a little awkward about joining the group on the far side of the room, since he and Esteban had only known Shepard for a few months. 

After collecting another 50 credits from Cortez for a pair of tens, which wasn’t that hard to beat if you were paying attention, James puts down his cards and looks at his friend. It’s obvious that Esteban wasn’t paying attention to his cards. Grabbing the discarded cards on the table in front of them, James notes that his distracted friend had a full house and folded for no reason. Sighing, James puts the cards to the side. It was no fun taking money off his friend when Esteban’s heart wasn’t in it, especially since he would have won that round. 

James nudges Steve with his elbow and nods over at Kaidan as he sits next to his soon to be mother in law. When Steve focuses on him, James lowers his voice and waggles his eyebrows suggestively, “So…who do you think is the giver or taker in that relationship?” 

Steve takes a second to blink as he digests what James is talking about. When he does, he gasps and stares at him for having the gall to even ask a question like that, especially when the person he’s asking about is just on the other side of the room. Abruptly standing up, he motions for James to follow him and when he just starts to laugh, Steve grabs him by the ear and pulls him over to the sliding glass doors and pushes him through into the hallway. Seeing he has gotten everyone’s attention, Steve motions a never mind with his hands and joins James. 

“Ow man, that hurt!” James says rubbing his aching ear. 

Glowering at his best friend…his lunatic of a best friend, Steve gruffly admonishes him, “Serves you right for asking such a question. What the hell is the matter with you?”

“What? I was curious. Besides, things are way too tense.”

Looking at James in exasperation, Steve rubs his hands though his close cropped hair. “You’re an idiot.” 

James grins enjoying the fact that he’s made his friend show an emotion other than worry. It’s about time. They’ve all been way too serious for the past couple of days since the incident on Noveria. With a wicked sense of fun and fine with whatever consequences his friend wants to dish out, he asks, “Oh come on, aren’t you curious? Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought about it. Hmm?” He waggles his eyebrows at his friend who is looking at him darkly. 

Steve stares at him, seriously thinking about punching him. That…is not the type of question to say out loud in mixed company, which includes an Admiral, for fuck sake, who is their Captain’s mother of all people. About to admonish his friend once again, he blinks when he sees the glimmer of mirth in James’ eyes and a twitch of a smile. Huffing, he glowers at his friend, realizing that James has gotten ‘his goat’ again. Rolling his eyes, he sighs and looks back at the somber group of people through the glass door, waiting for news about Shepard. His shoulders slumping in defeat, he shakes his head and looks back at James as he nudges him again conspiratorially. “Fine. I think it’s both.”

“Really? I figured since Shepard was the protector…you know…” he finishes his statement with a hand gesture. 

Looking around at the deserted corridor, Steve flushes red and slaps James hands away and face palms when James starts to chuckle at him. 

“You’re incorrigible.”

James’ smile turns wicked.

They are suddenly brought around by a door opening further down the hallway. A familiar figure of a woman pauses as she sees them and then abruptly walks away, her high heeled boots tapping against the floor rapidly. 

Steve frowns and nudges his friend, “Wasn’t that…?”

James’ smile had disappeared, “Yeah…I guess that means Shepard is out of surgery.”

“Let’s go back inside…”

{{{}}}

As soon as James and Steve return from the corridor outside, Doctor Chakwas returns to the waiting room. Hannah and Kaidan along with the rest of the group stand up and join her at the door that leads to the surgery unit. 

Karin smiles, “Shepard has been transferred to his room. He briefly returned to consciousness as they were moving him and is asking for you, Kaidan. His enhanced healing is working really fast it seems, so to help his body adjust, we had to sedate him. He’ll be out for another couple of hours, but if you would like to see him, a nurse can show you to his room.” When they all move to follow said nurse, Karin puts her hand out and warns, “Only two at a time, please. I have to insist until he is awake and talking.”

Hannah looks at a fidgety Kaidan at her side and makes a quick decision, “Go. Be with him. I’ll join you in a bit.”

Looking at her Kaidan nods and follows the nurse. 

When Hannah stops Chakwas from disappearing and pulls her aside, Garrus turns towards the rest of them and dismisses everyone, except James, explaining that they will all have the opportunity to visit with Shepard once he wakes up fully. Waiting for everyone to leave, he asks James if he can stand vigil outside his room as an unofficial guard; since they’ve already had a few admirers of the famous ‘Commander Shepard,’ try to get in to see him. Since, James was technically on leave, Garrus wanted to give him the chance to decline. James agrees no questions asked. 

Once Damien’s crew exits and James follows another nurse, Hannah addresses the Doctor, “Karin? Can I speak to you for a moment?”

Karin straightens and salutes her.

Waving the salute aside, Hannah shakes her head. “Knock that off.”

Karin smiles at her, “I always knew you’d make Admiral before I did.”

Hannah huffs, “Yeah? Well, I didn’t specialize in a particular field of study, did I? You’re the renowned Doctor Chakwas, medical doctor extraordinaire.”

Karin laughs, “Ha! Yeah, I figured that I’m all topped out. I can’t serve on a ship if I make Admiral. Life just wouldn’t be the same.”

“Oh? But, then you could settle down finally. A little bird told me that you have a beau.”

Rolling her eyes, Karin huffs at her, “Does this little bird have red hair and green eyes?” When Hannah smiles at her, she mutters, “He said he wouldn’t say anything.”

“Ha! You should know by now that Damien probably had something to do with it as well. He has a tendency to play matchmaker for those he cares about. And you…are someone that he cares greatly about. You practically raised him while I was away on missions. Don’t deny it…I wouldn’t have had it any other way. You are my best friend…” Hannah smiles fondly at her. 

They had grown up together on Earth and had joined the Alliance after they turned 18. It was in boot camp that they had met the men in their life; Colin Shepard, Zaeed Masani, and Steven Hackett. They had called themselves the three musketeers. As close as friends could get…fight the good fight and all that. It’s funny how things turned out. Life has a way of bringing things full circle. Colin was the love of Hannah’s life, at the time. He was a good husband and an amazing father. Damien took after him in looks and every time she looked at him, she would see Colin. Zaeed had fallen head over heels for Karin back in the day, but after a falling out over a bad mission with the Alliance, he had resigned his commission and gone rogue. After becoming one of the greatest mercenaries in the Terminus Systems, almost dying at the hands of his ex-partner, and swearing vengeance on all who messed with him, he had hooked up with Damien the year prior while taking down the Collectors. It was then that he must have rekindled his love for Karin. That leaves Hackett. It seemed that she had had two admirers all those years ago, but it was Colin that made the first move. Steven had stepped aside and gave his blessings for them, but had never stopped loving her from afar. It was probably why he never married. 

Karin grins, “Well, the feeling is mutual. Damien may be your son, but I always felt that he’s as close to a son as I’ll ever have. As far as you making Admiral first, that little birdy may have mentioned that dating Admiral Hackett may have something to do with the promotion.”

Hannah blushes and looks away her mouth twitching with a smile. 

Karin grins, “It’s about time. How long has it been since you’ve been crushing on him?”

Remembering all the times that Steven had been there for her over the years, especially after Colin’s accident, she allows her smile to build. “A long time…after Colin’s accident, Steven was always there for me. Maybe I’ve always felt something for him, but it wasn’t until he took Damien under his wing, that I started to fall for him. He was amazing during those two years when I had thought that I lost Damien.”

Karin hugs her, “I’m glad things worked out. I’m really happy for you two.”

“Thank you for helping keep Damien safe all these years, Karin.” Hannah says tears glistening in her eyes as she steps back from her friend.

Also tearing up, Karin nods. She brushes the tears from her face and clears her throat when a nurse walks by, interrupting their private moment. Motioning for Hannah to follow her, they walk towards Damien’s room and remembering that Hannah had seemed to want something from her, earlier, she asks, “Was there something else?”

Pausing just outside of her son’s room, she nods at James standing guard, and turns towards her friend. “Yes. Do you know where I can find Ms. Lawson?”

Raising her eyebrows in surprise, Karin shakes her head. Thinking that her friend wants to thank Miranda for helping her son, she states sadly. “I’m sorry, but I think she left as soon as she was finished with her post-op procedures.”

A male throat clearing gets their attention and James walks over to them and stands at attention. Saluting the both of them, James waits until Hannah returns the salute and nods at him to speak. “Just before you returned to give us the latest news, Doctor…Lt Cortez and I saw Miranda head towards the observation lounge.”

“Hmm…that room overlooks the construction site of ‘The Crucible.’ It’s quite the fete and she’ll have the best vantage point from there.” Hannah nods and smiles at the soldier for the information. “Thank you, Lieutenant Commander…?” she raises her eyebrows in question.

“James Vega, ma’am.”

“Oh, yes…I’ve heard of you. You guarded my son while at HQ last year.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Hannah smiles at him and looks at Karin who has been distracted by a nurse with a datapad. Giving the soldier a once over, noticing how tense he is as he looks over her shoulder, she says, “At ease LC.” When he relaxes his posture into parade rest, she laughs and when he looks at her in surprise, she adds, “I’m not going to bite.”

James relaxes his pose and laughs a little, “Sorry, ma’am. It’s just that…you’re Shepard’s mother…and an Admiral,” he stammers flustered at her attention. 

Reaching out to pat him on the shoulder, surprising him, Hannah chuckles, “You better get used to it. Especially, considering the way Damien has expounded on your abilities both on and off the battlefield. He sees great potential in you. Based upon his recommendation for both your new status to N3 and your new promotion, I see stars in your future, soldier.”

Blinking in surprise, James asks, “Really?”

“Absolutely…Damien isn’t the only one to notice. Both Admiral Hackett and Admiral Anderson have said you have potential. Keep up the good work.”

Looking a bit awed at her admission, he beams and straightens back into attention, “Yes, Ma’am!”

“Carry on.”

James salutes again and returns to guarding over his friend and Captain.

Karin chuckles at the young man’s actions and pulls her friend aside and lowers her voice so he can’t hear them. “Now you’ve done it. He’ll never stop crowing about what you said. That one has an ego that goes on for miles.”

Looking at the man in question, who is currently trying hard not to gloat over the compliment she gave him, Hannah chuckles. Covertly checking him out, she exclaims with a muffled pained groan when her friend pinches her side, “What?”

Karin ducks her head and whispers to her friend, pulling her further down the hallway, away from other prying ears, “He’s younger than your son…”

“So? A girl’s got to eat…”

Karin chuckles and shakes her head. “What about Steven?”

Hannah smiles and winks, “Trust me, I have no complaints. That man knows what he’s doing, if you know what I mean.”

Karin makes a choking sound and laughs, shaking her head. It’s obvious her friend hasn’t changed in all these years. Hannah was always blunt…something that she always envied about her, even when they were young. Looking back at the young LC, Karin questions, “Then…?”

Hannah shrugs, “He may be young…but a little eye candy never hurts any. Besides, he’s flaunting it…I would have to be blind not to notice. I may be extremely happy in my relationship with Steven, but I’m not dead.” When Karin face palms, she sniggers, knowing her best friend can recognize a good looking soldier like the best of them. “Come on, admit it…”

“No, uh uh…I have to serve with him. Plus, he tends to spend way too much time in my med bay already.” At Hannah’s unspoken question, she explains, “He has the tendency to spar with certain crew members who are more experienced and go easy on him because he never backs down.” 

Thinking her son is one of the crew mates Karin is referring to, Hannah grins, “Good. Sometimes stubbornness has its uses.”

“That’s true…and that one has stubbornness in spades.”

After noticing another nurse is waiting to speak with her friend, Hannah smiles and nods, before taking her leave. It was time to confront the woman who just helped save her son. 

{{{}}}

“Ms. Lawson?”

“Yes?” Miranda responds automatically as she turns around from looking out at the massive construction site of ‘The Crucible.’ Recognizing instantly who has sought her out, she internally cringes, somehow knowing why this woman has interrupted her musings. 

It was also the reason why she hasn’t left yet. After Shepard regained consciousness just long enough to request to see his fiancé, she left. She felt she was no longer needed and trusted Doctor Chakwas enough to take over. However, on her way out, she had been drawn to the observation lounge. She had been here before; having worked with the ex-Cerberus scientists and other personnel that were helping to build ‘The Crucible.’ The lounge was quiet and comfortable; a refuge among the cold metal walls of the facility and she felt her anxiety over the situation she found herself in start to ebb. Only it didn’t go away completely…her anxiety…it transformed into an emotion that she was not familiar with; regret. More than anything, what was so troubling, was how heavy it weighed upon her and she didn’t know how to deal with it. 

Her visitor walks towards her and puts her hand out to shake her hand. “Ms. Lawson, I’m…”

Miranda interrupts and puts both of her hands behind her back, “I know who you are. You’re Damien’s mother…Admiral Hannah Shepard.”

Having her hand dangle out in the empty air, Hannah lowers it to straighten into the same stance, and clears her throat to try to alleviate some of the sting from being ignored. Reverting to her professional persona of her rank, she states, “You are well informed.”

“I had to be. Heading the ‘Lazarus Project,’ I had to know everything there was to know about your son, to bring him back the same as he was prior to the destruction of the SR1. That included his military background and family history.”

“Of course.”

“Has Doctor Chakwas not informed you of Shepard’s status?” Miranda asks. Hannah Shepard sure didn’t look old enough to be the mother of the great ‘Commander Shepard.’ For being in her early-fifties, Hannah was still a very striking woman. Standing just at 5 feet 10 inches, a natural brunette with cobalt blue eyes, it was no wonder the head of the Alliance fleet, Admiral Hackett, was head over heels for this woman. Although, they kept their relationship quiet, it was obvious in the way they looked at each other. Besides, Hannah may not have as impressive a resume as her son or the man she’s dating, but no one messed with her and lived to tell about it. She was fierce when necessary, steadfast and just, loyal to a fault, and a good leader. It was also known that Hannah Shepard had a wicked sense of humor and was known to play practical jokes on those she cared about. As Miranda’s research detected, Damien may not have taken after her in looks, but it was obvious that he and his mother were very close and it was her influence that made Damien the man he was today. What her research didn’t catch was there were facets to him that were clearly his and his alone. That’s what made him so alluring…so fascinating…so attractive. Still lost in thought about why she would resort to something so childish, she startles when Hanna speaks. 

“Yes. That is not why I’m here.”

“Oh?”

“I have come to thank you for saving him…both times.” Emotion choking her, Hannah relaxes her posture, “Thank you for bringing my son back to me.”

Taken aback, Miranda nods. This wasn’t what she thought the woman was going to talk to her about. “I didn’t do it for you.”

Hannah sighs and huffs out a breath, “Be that as it may…I still appreciate it.” After several minutes of them staring at each other, Miranda turns to leave and is brought up short when Hannah declares suddenly, looking deadly serious. “By the way…if you EVER try to hurt Damien or Kaidan again for any reason…you won’t live to regret it.”

“Excuse me? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Miranda takes a step back, clearly surprised at being threatened by Damien’s mother. 

Taking a step forward, Hannah lowers her voice, “I’m aware that you are a powerful biotic, but that will not save you from a mother’s wrath.”

Miranda sputters in shock, and looks down and away, regret written all over her face. 

Just before taking her leave, Hannah softens her expression. “Damien will forgive you. That is what he does. And, you will be friends again.”

Looking defiant, Miranda grounds out, trying to save face, “I just saved your son and you dare to threaten me?”

“It is because of that fact that I don’t carry out my threat right now. I may not be N7, like my son, but I have spent more than half my life in the Special Forces unit of the Alliance. Plus, I am a Shepard. Do you understand me…Miranda.”

Her eyes widening at the implications that Damien’s mother is fully capable of carrying out her threat, she nods, “Yes, ma’am.” 

“Good. Carry on.”

Hannah does an about face and exits the observation lounge without a backward glance at the shocked woman she left behind. Stopping not 10 feet down the hall, she pauses at the entrance to a darkened hallway off to her left. “You can come out now, Garrus.” She grins to herself when she hears a very Turian huff of surprise at being caught, eavesdropping on her conversation. Then a seven foot tall, armored Turian with blue markings steps out of the shadow and joins her. 

“How did you know it was me?”

Hannah laughs, making Garrus’ mandibles click in annoyance at being laughed at. Ever since the ceremony after her son was given the status as first human Spectre, she had kept in touch with all of Damien’s friends; Garrus among them. She always had a soft spot for this Turian. He had had a hard life, growing up with a sick mother and verbally abusive father. It was Damien’s influence and friendship that got him out of his shell. More than anything, she is grateful to the Turian for always having Damien’s six in both combat and as his best friend. “Has Damien never told you?”

Garrus narrows his eyes at her, “Told me what?”

“Your armor creaks.”

Looking down at himself, he checks over his seals and then back up at her, “What…where?”

She points out the seal under his left arm and then down at his right boot. 

He straightens his arm and bends it a couple times and does the same thing with the foot that she pointed at. After hearing no ‘creaks,’ he looks down at her and huffs again when he sees that she’s trying not to laugh, a hand covering her mouth. Grumbling, he crosses his arms and leans on one hip, mimicking his best friends’ favorite stance, “You’re teasing me.”

Hannah grins impishly, “Maybe,” not giving away that his armor really does creak when he moves. She just didn’t point to the right areas on his armor that should be oiled. “Actually, I figured it was you because of your reaction to hearing about what she did to Kaidan. As Damien’s best friend you feel obligated to step in when he’s unable to defend himself. I just beat you to it.”

“Remind me never to piss you off.” Garrus doesn’t add that he had followed her to watch her six. He was perfectly aware that Miranda could defend herself and didn’t want Damien to lose a mother, no matter how badass Hannah Shepard was. 

Hannah laughs and pulls him along with her as she walks back to the ICU. Draping her arm through his elbow when he offers it, she asks him innocently, “Have you heard from Tali, yet?”

Making a surprised chirp, Garrus looks down at Shepard’s mother chuckling at his side and shakes his head. “How is it that everyone knew about Tali before I did?”

Hannah grins and pats his arm in sympathy, “Even a sniper can miss what is standing right in front of his face.”

Pausing outside Damien’s room, Garrus looks fondly down at the woman who has become a surrogate mother to him. Hannah was there for him when his own mother had died, not long after he returned to Palaven, just after Damien had turned himself into the Alliance. She was unable to visit her own son while he was detained during his stay on Earth, so had instead taken it upon herself to be available to him. Ever since meeting her after joining up with Damien on the SR1, they had become fast friends and he felt it easy to confide in her. They all had; Joker, Ashley, Kaidan, Liara, Tali, even Wrex. After Damien had died over Alcherra; she had made it her mission to mother all of his friends and kept in touch with them during those long two years without him. Except for his own crusade through Omega as Archangel, that was the only period of time since meeting her where he had cut all ties. Or at least until Damien swooped in to save his sorry Turian ass from dying at the hands of the mercs who were trying to kill him, and this was just days after Damien had returned from the afterlife. After reconnecting with her; a conversation that he never wants to have again, she chewed his ass for ignoring her; they have been close ever since. She even called him her Turian son. Seeing how tired she looks, he asks, “Are you going to be okay?”

Patting his cheek fondly, Hannah smiles, and looks over at the closed door of Damien’s room. “I will be as soon as Damien graces us with his presence.”

Garrus chortles out a laugh, “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

“Tell me something, Garrus. How is my son really doing, beyond the reason he’s here…?”

Picking his words carefully, Garrus tells her the truth. “Damien was working himself into an early grave right up until the Citadel coup. He was going through the motions, but his heart wasn’t in the fight any longer. The death toll, the destruction, and his role in the fight were weighing heavily upon him. I think he was drowning. But, that has all changed now. It changed the moment Kaidan joined us back on the Normandy. He has something to live for now…something to hold on to…someone to fight for, to love.”

With tears in her eyes, Hannah whispers, “So, Kaidan has not only saved my son, but he’s also given him hope.”

“Yes.”

Hannah smiles and goes up on tiptoes and gives her Turian son a hug. Pulling back, she wipes the tears from her face, “Thank you for telling me.”

Garrus bows his head, the Turian gesture of respect. 

“It’s time I go to him. I want to see for myself that he’s going to be okay.”

“Of course.”

Squeezing his hands once more in farewell, she turns and walks into her son’s room and closes the door.

{{{}}}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was more for the supporting characters than for Kaidan & Damien. They will star in the next chapter. There will also be a little juicy goodness to go along with it. Mostly because Damien can't seem to keep his hands off of Kaidan, even having almost died a couple of chapters ago. ;) 
> 
> Also, I thought we were due for some humor and back story. hehe

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'm going to try to update as often as I can. However, I'm currently writing two Mass Effect storylines at the same time...and my own novel. So...as you can imagine, I'm busy! To be honest, it's difficult at times to switch from one to the other. I guess this is what happens when my muse runs rampant. Thank you to those that are willing to endure my 'crazy' along with me. Enjoy!


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